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OptimisticallyPessimistic
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 Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 9:05 pm
The Hurt
Mask the hurt,
Behind walls and doors,
Mask the hurt,
Behind drugs and whores.
Blades and bleeding hearts,
Fake friends and fake laughs,
Makeup and smiles,
They cover the hurt by halves.
Cold hard cash, affairs,
Sunglasses hide the tears,
But it's there, the hurt,
That feeds on all our fears.
Mask the hurt,
Any way you can,
Mask the hurt,
Death is at hand.
Don't let a teacher therapy you when you've already tried yourself.
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:22 pm
Wow...that was awesome to read. whee
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OptimisticallyPessimistic
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 4:28 pm
dameonmac5918 Wow...that was awesome to read. whee Thanks!!! I was really sad. I broke out of my boundries. Normally I'm not crude or blunt, but it turned out nicely.
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 8:11 pm
Putting aside my slight dislike for "emo" things, that was actually pretty good. Although I believe you used the same line too frequently, even if it was only three or four times. Each line should be unique. smile
8/10 stars.
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OptimisticallyPessimistic
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:42 pm
Zweite Putting aside my slight dislike for "emo" things, that was actually pretty good. Although I believe you used the same line too frequently, even if it was only three or four times. Each line should be unique. smile 8/10 stars. I've always noticed that after I put up the poems....I guess I have a habit of repetition...to me it gives something to return to, a base, if you will. Thank you for the comment!!!
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 2:26 pm
A good poem. I like the repetition, although I don't use it much myself. It's dark (I have a soft spot for emo/dark poems) and as you said, emo. I won't say anything more as I hate analyzing poems. I just write them or reads and comment when I feel for it.
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Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 8:06 pm
For a poem to repeat one line, if it doesn't have rhyming or another link to each line, it is okay. Actually I prefer a poem to do that though I can never create a poem with a repeating line and have it look good. But you did a great job. ^^
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