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 Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 1:57 pm
This one is a little weird... I wrote it last night, and I'm not sure if I like it or not. It's called Jet Engine. Tell me what you think of it.
Here the airplane comes
Like a bullet through a sheet
Here the birdie sores
So free in the open blue
Looming in the sky
Looming in the sky
Watch the metal fly
A bird can fly
A bird can sing
But when the engine comes
Suction catches its wing
Nothing left of the bird
But a hurricane of blood
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:58 am
I think it is good. May I suggest something, you start out with couplets and then have lines of three and four. Pick one and stick with it. That was the only thing that bothered me though.
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