Welcome to Gaia! ::

I really enjoy the words in your poems and the vivid pictures they paint. That said, there are a few things I think you could do to improve your poetry. Take the suggestions with a grain of salt, I'm certainly not a master poet myself, so they're really just personal opinions.

1) If you choose to have a poem with a rhyme scheme, keep the scheme constant. For example:

Hi you
Stay true
Be me
Stay free

Obviously I wasn't going out of my way to create a piece of art there, just providing an example. Anyway, my point is that the above example rhymes on every line. Another example:

Happy joy
It's so great
Love the toy
Can't debate

An alternating rhyme scheme, every other line rhymes. I noticed some of your poems follow one of the above structures and then abruptly stop. It gives the poem a slightly awkward feel.

2) If you're writing a free-verse poem (such as I myself do), keep it free-verse. It looks weird when there's suddenly a rhyme cropping up in the middle of a poem that previously had no rhymes.

3) If your poem has a certain flow, stick to it. It's easy to create a long sentence to express yourself but more difficult to dissect and shorten that sentence. This time, I'll take an example from one of your poems:

Help me live!
Help me thrive!
Let me hear the wind in the drive!
Let me fly!

See that third line? It seems ill-fit to your poem. It just seems to be longer than the rest of your lines and creates an "off beat."

I'd like to follow all this up by once again stating that I think that your poems are very good, but if you want to try to work on something, my above suggestions would be it. I've probably been a hypocrite with these rules in some of my own poems, but I think that even though I do proof-read what I write, it seems easier to catch mistakes in other peoples work than my own. At least that's always been my experience. Not that I think my work is wonderful, I just think that it makes sense to me because I wrote it, and so it's harder to see the spots that need improvement.

Anyway, keep up the good work here. Hope to see more!