Lines You'll Never Hear

[Darkened Angel]

Jedi Master 1: This mission against the Sith would mean almsot certain death.
Jedi Master 2: And you're not nearly as good as our other group of Jedi Knights, so we cannot let you go.
Angel: Woohoo! We live to suck another day! * high-fives Trey and Mordranna *
Legacy Angel: ... stare  

[Sol Walker]

Stormtrooper: We got you now Rebels!

Stormtroper 2: Hail HYDRA!

Stormtrooper: ...Bob you really need to stop doing that. New Job remember? You're not a flunky to a third rate evil organization anymore! You're part of the Stormtrooper Corps! The Elite of the Imperial Military! You got armor, laser weapons, and access to the best medical care in the galaxy!

Bob: yeah, I know. But some things... some things die hard.

Stormie: Don't worry man. I understand. It takes some *Conk* Ow! Why is this doorframe so low?!  

[elvisnake]

Darth Maul: You know what? I want more lines! I mean, I'm a big deal in this movie, the only G-canon character to use a lightsaber style other than single blade, I actually get to Kill the coolest character Liam Neeson has played in any movie, but I only say like ONE LINE! Who cares if 'at last we are getting revenge!' I'm a major badass, I should be able to affect the plot beyond giving the Jedi someone to fight! You know what, I quit!  

[Missing00]

*Palpatine pulls up to a Home Depot with a bunch of mexicans in front.*
Palpatine: Escucheme, Escucheme, do you guys want work?
Mexican guys: Sure.
Palpatine: Get in the back.  

[elvisnake]

Creepy museum guy: There is a legendary lightsaber crystal that greatly improves the fighting skill of all who use it. They call it the Crystal of Destiny.

Obi-Wan: Dude, AS, we've got to get that Crystal!

Anakin, Hey, OW, who the hell said we could do blatant Tenacious D ripoffs like this? Jack Black is gonna kick our asses with his rock!

Jack Black: And... cut! This commercial for my new movie is a wrap. You guys can go.  

[Capn Deep Blusi]

Cont..

Jack Black: Ha...Using Star Wars to advertise my movie, I can rule the galaxy! *Kneels* Alongside you, of course, master.

Jar Jar walks out of the shadows.

Jar Jar: Hahaha! Hahahaha!! Bwahahaha!!!!

TO BE CONTINUED.  

[Des Voh]

(Oh dear lord....) gonk  

[Darkened Angel]

* Vader spins the wheel, lands on Bankrupt *

Vader: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Sajak: Oooh, too bad. Cale, you're next.

* Cale, dressed in his formal pirate uniform, spins the wheel, lands on $300 *

Cale: Arrrr!
Sajak: Sorry, there are no Arrrrs.

* Cale pulls out his blaster with lightning speed and blasts Sajak, jumps over his podium, dashes towards the grand prize, hotwires the car, and speeds away in it *

( elsewhere, watching it on the holonet )

Trey: Huh, you were right. He did just up and steal the prize.
Angel: Told you so.  

[ElladanKenet]

Palpatine- Okay, all be seated so we can start this month's meeting of "Movie Villains Who Fell to Their Death." Roll call. Mola Ram?

Mola- {Here!}

Palpatine- Yeah... you're that cannibal from Raiders of the Lost Ark, right?

Mola- {Temple of Doom}

Palpatine- Ooh, my bad. Okay... Gollum?

Gollum- IT'S MINE! MY OWN! MY PRETENTIOUS!

Palpatine- O.o..... Okay...... anywho.... um.... Mace.... Windu?

Mace- What is UP my niggah?

Palpatine- Hey, hold on. You're not a villain!

Mace- But you did fry me and push me out a 400 story tower.

King Kong- Plus, he makes little girls cry.

Palpatine-........ But...... I........ okay..... King Kong?

King Kong- Although I am hardly a villain, I believe we have already established that I'm here ol' chap.

Palpatine- Yeah.... um.... anyone else half-way improtant fall to their deaths?

Mace- What about that Skywalker kid?.... Lon?..... Lobo?.....Lunt?

Palpatine- Luke, and technically, he survived that fall to his death.

King Kong- But so did you. You lived on as an omnipotent Force ghost hovering over the Endor moon, giving out the Last Command, which didn't end until the SW book by the same name, which occured shortly before you possesed yur former Emperor's Hand and hijacked him to your hidden cloning facility on Byss where you inhabited the body of two clones, then were destroyed in your own Force Storm, and then was shot and killed again by Han Solo, the same smuggler who owns the Millenium Falco which was responsible for destroying both Death Stars. Savvy?

Palpatine- O.o  

[Darkened Angel]

Ladies and Gentlemen, all the way from the Dark Side, I present to you, The Sith Lords!

* Vader, Revan, Krayt, and Sidious come on stage *

Sith Lords: Here we are. Born to be kings, we're the princes of the universe!

( insert the rest of Queen's " Princes of the Universe " song here )  

[Sol Walker]

Nelowulf: No seriously guys, tell me some Polack jokes. They're hilarious.  

[Nelowulf]

Cale: Why of course I'd be honored to play the part of Captain Jack Swallows.  

[Darkened Angel]

DA: I did not have a sexual relationship with the pirate Cale Darksun.  

[Nelowulf]

DA: I want to become a nun.  

[ElladanKenet]

Stellar: I <3 Nerfs.