Lines You'll Never Hear

[ElladanKenet]

Anakin to Padme the first time they meet:

"Are you a whore?"  

[Sol Walker]

More Alternate versions of that famous first meeting!

Anakin: Are you Jailbait?
------------------------------
Anakin: Do you have cooties?
--------------------------------
Anakin: Why are you so ugy?  

[elvisnake]

Or the Best of All...

Anakin: Do you have AIDs?  

[Nelowulf]

Padme: Everyone has AIDS. AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS!  

[ElladanKenet]

JarJar- Meesa called Jarjar Binks. Mesa dah hellspawn from da bomb!  

[Darkened Angel]

( After Palpatine tells Vader that Padme is dead )

Vader: Good riddance. I was tired of that nagging b***h.  

[ElladanKenet]

Han- Hey, it's a Tauntaun! Let's go hug it and make sweet love!

Chewie- But..... I thought I was your snuggle buddy... crying  

[Sol Walker]

Han: Hey Chewie! Good news! I found my Butt-less Chaps!  

[Missing00]

Slave girl: ******** you Jabba!  

[Sol Walker]

NELO: I HEAR CALE'S CAP'S BUTTON IS STUCK.

D.A.: THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR BUTT-LESS CHAPS!

(AFTER APLICATION OF AFOREMENTIONED CHAPS)

NELO:....I DONT THINK ITS WORKING. HE'S STILL TYPING IN CAPS.

CALE: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF! THIS FEELS GREAT! I FEEL EMPOWERED!

(ELSEWHERE)

HAN: DAMN IT! NOW WHERE DID THOSE CHAPS GO?!  

[Missing00]

Nelo: Dammit Cale's caps lock button is stuck.
Cale: DALALADAAA ALALAL AHHHHH!!
Nelo: And he seems to have gone crazy.
DA: Nope that was my doing.
Nelo: Oh, so how are we going to solve this.
MNI: I have an idea. "HTML ATTACK SIZE SHRINK!!!!"
Cale: MY CAPS LOCK BUTON IS STILL STUCK
MNI: Yes but the type is much smaller.  

[Sol Walker]

NELO: HMM. MISSING SEEMS TO NEED TO BE TAKEN DOWN A NOTCH.

DA: THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR BUTT-LESS CHAPS!

(APPLIES BUTTLESS CHAPS)

MIN: OMG! I CANT CANT HANDLE THE FEELING OF LEATHER AND A DRAFTY BUM ALL AT ONCE! *EXPLODES*

DA: HOORAY FOR BUTT-LESS CHAPS!

HAN: (SNATCHES THEM BACK) GIVE ME THOSE!  

[Darkened Angel]

Jarjar: Mesa sexy. Mesa got on butt-less chaps!
Cale: Dear God, NO! That sithin' Gungan has gotten too powerful, and now he even stole my chaps!
DA: What can we do to stop him now?
MNI: Never fear! I have donned my crotchless pants!  

[ElladanKenet]

Leia- Hello? Anyone seen Han? We're late for dinner!

Han- I'm looking for my Chaps!

Leia- Which ones?!

Han- The Butt-less ones!

Leia- What?!....

Han- I said 'the butt-less ones'!!

Leia- Oh, come on! We're gonna be late, and the babysitter's already here!

Cahkmaim- *grunt* *flashes knife*

Jacen- *runs over and tugs on dress* Mommy, who's that? ._.

Leia- Oh, that's just the nice babysitter here to w-

Jacen- Nooooooooooooo! I don't want you to go! I miss you! *tacklestraddleslegs*

Leia- O.o  

[Sayla-girl]

*Climactic showdown between Luke and Vader on Bespin*

Vader: Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your buttless chaps.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you ripped them!

Vader: No Luke. I have your buttless chaps.

Luke: No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!

Vader: Infact, I'm wearing them right now.

Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!