Lines You'll Never Hear

[Sol Walker]

Nelo: Cale, are you pondering what i'm pondering?

Cale: I think so, Nelo, but but practicing docking procedures with a goat at zero G's—it's never been done!  

[Sol Walker]

Nelo: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Cale: I think so Nelo. What i cant understand though is why we need a sheep for the ray gun in the first place?  

[Missing00]

Nelo: Are you pondeing what I'm pondering?

Cale: I think so but do we really need a vat full of BBQ sauce?  

[Sol Walker]

Nelo: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Cale: I think so, Nelo, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?  

[Missing00]

Nelo: Are you pondering what Im pondering?

Cale: I think so but if he's missing why do we know where he is?  

[Sol Walker]

Nelo: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Cale: I think so Nelo, but a ship that small could never have a cloaking device.  

[Sol Walker]

Cale: Nelo, Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Nelo: I think so Cale. And no they dont have beer in heaven.

Cale: ********! Better enjoy while I can!

Nelo: They dont have it where you're going either.  

[Darkened Angel]

Palpy: So a Grand Admiral says to me, " If we conquer the entire galaxy, won't we invade less worlds? "

* Palpy and Vader laugh *

* bells sound and stormies stop boarding the transports, Palpy and Vader look on *

Palpy: Maybe we did conquer the galaxy already.  

[Nelowulf]

Cale: What are we going to do tonight, Nelo?

Nelo: Same thing we do every night cale: Try and get wasted and pick up some cheap floozies!  

[Nelowulf]

DA: What are we going to do tonight, Cale?

Cale: Same thing that happens every night. I'm going to get you in the sack, whether I want to or not.  

[Nelowulf]

Sometime in the near future, a celebration may be held. During this Celebration, all the mods gather in a most intriguing way.


DA: *holding microphone* And I'm here on the red carpet, totally naked, awaiting the moderators arrival. Its the premier night of "The Galactic Empire: The movie" and Oh my god, here's the first person!

*limo pulls up, out steps EK in an evening suit, a bottle of sherry, and freshly whitened teeth*

DA: Oh my gawd is Elladen! Hey! EK! Hey! Say something for your fans!

EK: Well, its just great to be here. Even though I only have a three minute cameo in the movie, I think I helped the guild enough to gain far more screentime in the sequel.

*walks off*

DA: And there you have it. And we're waiting...

*Pirate ship pulls up, somehow, on cement, as Cale jumps down from his jack sparrow pose up in the crow's nest.*

DA: OH EM GEE! Its Cale Darksun!

*females go wild*

Cale: Oh yes, I have arrived. And I see you were expecting me the whole time. Wanna do it in the projector room?

DA: After I'm done here, hun.

*Des stumbles through crowd and onto red carpet*

Des: Sorry I'm late... some a*****e stole my boat. Kind of embarassing for a rogue, eh?

*Des looks at cale's ship*

Des: HEY, that's my Ship!

*is stabbed in the back*

Cale: Piss poor pirate, shitter rogue. You're supposed to do it from behind...

*DA jumps*

DA: Oh my...

*Cale walks off, as TARDIS lands on Des's corpse*

DA: And That must be Nelo, figures it takes a time machine for him to make an entrance.

Nelo: I am never late, nor am I early. I rip a good quote precisely when I mean to.

DA: Okay... Anything to say to your fans?

Nelo: What fans?

DA: And I guess that's all from the red carpet. Back to you Johnny!

*back in studio*

Johnny: Thank you DA for that coverage. Hey.... wait, I'm a mod! Why wasn't I invited?  

[Missing00]

Cont.

Missing: Hey DA what's up?

DA: Missing? You're not on the list.

Missing: Im not? But Im a reg and Im in the movie.

DA: Well you're not on the list, SECURITY!

*two large men appear and drag Missing off the red carpet*

Missing: But Im in the movie, I get more screentime than EK, Im practacly a main character let me iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnn  

[ElladanKenet]

Des: Oh no! Lord TeeGeeSea is at it again!

Nelo- That's it guys! It's morphin' time!

Missing- { Nerf! }

DA- { Zeltron! }

Des- { Bothan! }

EK- { Rancor! }

Cale- { Darksun! }

Nelo- {... Myself! }

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few Minutes Later...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EK- Why won't they just die already?

DA- Dunno. *Knees a noob in the groin and spouts randomness*

Des- They just keep coming! gonk *rogue PWNed*

Nelo- Pssh, that's it. Get the Zords!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twenty Seconds Later
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

:Crix Madine is seen on the news, trampelling through TeeGeeSea's base, slaughtering everything in site:  

[Darkened Angel]

Yoda: Oh Sith, I can't stand talking in that backwards phrases crap any more.
Chewbacca: Try just growling all the time.
R2: EXTERMINATE!
C3P0: You will be deleted.
Vader: Luke, I am not your father. You were adopted.
Luke: eek
Vader: Your real father is that retarded Gungan.
Luke: crying
Vader: And... What? Crying!? Holy Sith... GET A PAIR OF BALLS ALREADY, SHEESH!  

[Nelowulf]

*ripped from "doomsday"*

*R2 turns a corner, and sees a pair of HK units marching toward it. Both stop about 3 meters from each other*

R2: IDENTIFY YOURSELVES!

HK: You will identify first.

R2: STATE YOUR IDENTITY!

HK: You will identify first!

R2: IDENTIFY!

Lando: Its like Steven Hawkings meets a speaking clock.

HK: Illogical, you will modify.

R2: ASTROMECHS DO NOT TAKE ORDERS!

HK: You have Identified as astromechs.

R2: OUTLINE RESEMBLES THE INFERIOR SPECIES KNOWN AS HK.

Mon Mothma: Leia told me of the astromechs. she told me she was terrified of them. what have they done to her, crix? Is she dead?

Crix: *hushed whisper* phone! *dials leia*

R2: LONG RANGE SCANS CONFIRM PRESENCE OF CRUDE CYBERNETIC CONSTRUCTS ON WORLDWIDE SCALE.

Crix: She's still alive, she's answering... Why ahven't they killed her?

Mon Mothma: Well don't be down.

Crix: They must need her for something...

R2: WE MUST PROTECT THE GENESIS ARC!

Crix: The Genesis arc?

HK: Our species are similar, though your design is inelequent.

R2: ASTROMECHS HAVE NO CONCEPT OF ELEGANCE.

HK: This is obvious. Thus considered, our technologies are compatible. HK units plus Astromechs, together we could upgrade the universe.

R2: YOU PROPOSE AN ALLIANCE?

HK: This is correct.

R2: REQUEST, DENIED!

HK: *arms blasters* Hostile elements will be deleted! *begins firing, though blasts are absorbed by shields*

R2: EXTERMINATE! *firese two blasts, knocking down HK units*

HK prime: Open visual link. *link opens to R2D2* Astromechs, be warned. You have declared war upon the HK units.

R2: THIS IS NOT WAR. THIS IS PEST CONTROL!

HK: We have five million units. How many are you?

R2: FOUR.

HK: You would destroy the HK units with four Astromechs?

R2: WE WOULD DESTROY THE HK UNITS WITH ONE ASTROMECH! YOU ARE SUPERIOR IN ONLY RESPECT.

HK: What is that?

R2: YOU ARE BETTER AT DYING! RAISE COMMUNICATIONS BARRIER! REWIND IMAGE BY NINE REALMS! IDENTIFY GRID SEVEN GAMMA! THIS MALE REGISTERS AS ENEMY! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!