Lines You'll Never Hear

[Sol Walker]

((Involving the Characters in the RP, yes.))  

[Nelowulf]

((What's wrong with being cast as a french knigit?))

Down in the mines of kessel, prisoners were constantly dying far too frequently due to depression and various other disorders linked to poor mental health. In an attempt to alieviate the tension, the wardens decided to provide music to work to.

Here's one of the songs which backfired:



Some people say a crook is made out of mud,
The poor man made out of muscle and blood,
Muscle and blood, skin and bone,
A will that’s weak and a nerve that’s strong,

You load sixteen tons, and what do ya get?
Another day older and deeper in debt,
Say P’ter don’t you call me, cause I can’t go,
I owe my time to the prisoner’s ward…

I was busted one morning when the sun didn’t shine
I picked up the shovel and went to the mine,
I moved sixteen tons, of number nine spice,
The warden spat and said “Well, isn’t that nice?”

You load sixteen tons, and what do ya get?
Another day older and deeper in debt,
Say P’ter don’t you call me, cause I can’t go,
I owe my time to the prisoner’s ward…

If you see me comin’ better step aside,
A lot of men didn’t, a lot of men died,
A fist of carbon, the other of phrik,
And the warden will beat ya if you’re not too slick.

You load sixteen tons, and what do ya get?
Another day older and deeper in debt,
Say P’ter don’t you call me, cause I can’t go,
I owe my time to the prisoner’s ward…

I was caught one morning when it was drizzlin’ rain,
Fightin’ and trouble are my middle name,
I was raised in the temple by an ol’ mama lion,
Ain’t no hot-trottin’ woman gonna make me walk no line.

You load sixteen tons, and what do ya get?
Another day older and deeper in debt,
Say P’ter don’t you call me, cause I can’t go,
I owe my time to the prisoner’s ward…  

[Sol Walker]

Aurora:[on an errand for her master.] Excuse me, sir. Who is that man in the corner?

Barkeep: He is one of the fighting folk — Jedi we call them. He seldom talks: not but what he can tell a rare tale when he has the mind. He disappears for a month, or a year, and then he pops up again. He was in and out pretty often last spring; but I haven't seen him about lately. What his right name is I've never heard: but he's known round here as Stryder.  

[Sol Walker]

Pash: I've seen horrors … horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that … but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face … and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with Special Forces. Seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a camp to inoculate the children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for disease, and this old man came running after us, and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there, and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember … I … I … I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized … like I was shot … like I was shot with a diamond … a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God … the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters. These were men … trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love … but they had the strength … the strength … to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men, then our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral … and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling … without passion … without judgment … without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.

All the Jedi: eek

Nakara: Wooooooo! Take it off!  

[Sol Walker]

Stryder: Here's the target area.

Ritt: That's Corellia, sir.

Stryder: Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan! Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home, and get in some good fishing while we're at it.

Ritt: Sir, the enemy is over there.

Stryder: Then we'll fly them over here. Their families too. We'll teach them to skate... Do I have to think of everything?  

[PaulTheWolf5575]

Never get involved in a land war on Kashykk  

[Sol Walker]

Stryder: Gentlemen, we've waited a long time to hear this. In exactly five hours and 17 minutes, we hit the enemy toast.

Admiral Vaklar: I think that's the enemy coast, sir.

Stryder: Huh? Coast? That'll take a little more planning. But it doesn't matter. Our assignment is to knock out the Plasma-weapons plant at Falafel Heights. The plant goes on line in 12 hours and is heavily defended. Now, if you have trouble hitting your objective, you secondary targets are here and here: an accordion factory and a mime school. Good luck, gentlemen. Blink, take over. Oh, there's one more thing. (Stryder gets accidentally hit by a metal pipe with a loud ringing sound). I'll get that. It's probably for me.  

[Nelowulf]

Ritt: For red, sore eyes, use cleareyes. It worked for me.  

[Missing00]

Cale: Im at the point now that just by talking to a woman, I can not only tell if she's in the ball park, but I feel like the umpire of the conversation.
DA: Yeah, just because I didnt finish highschool ya know, dosent make me stupid.
Cale: Strike one.
DA: I just heard this really good book, Dainetics by L. Ron Hubbard.
Cale: Strike two.
DA: I dont really belive in marriage I mean, what's wrong with meaningless sex?
Cale: ...Ball.
DA: My fantasy is to intamate with another woman.
Cale: Low and away.
DA: While some guy I just met watches.
Cale: Full count!
DA: Hey, Iv'e been in therapy for like seven years now.
Cale: Ooh a swing and a miss.
DA: Trying to cure my nymphomania
Cale: But the catcher drops the ball!  

[Nelowulf]

((Agh! where's that from?))

Stryder: Ladies, Gentlemen, and Cannon Fodder. It'll be my job to lead you onto the field of battle. I'm not gonna lie to you, some of you won't be coming back. A few of you will give out. But when you reach over into a pile of flesh that was your best friend's face, you will know what to do.

Squad alpha-bits, you will be huffing large sachels all the way to the other side of the ravine, to the enemy base. At which I will carpet bomb the area, so duck and cover.

Squad Cheerios, your job is to hog all the vehicles, drive aimlessly around the battlefield, and for the love of god, try to give alpha-bits some exercise, either by drawing enemy fire or simply threatening to run over 'em. They really need the exercise.

Ritt, you and your squadron will whore all the fighters, and you better damn well act like you usually do and look like you don't know how to fly 'em. I want to see craters. Here's the Top Gun Soundtrack by Lenny Koggins, because we're trying to avoid a lawsuit.... Got that Ritt? Ritt?

Ritt: *outside the ship, flying crazy* Whooooo-hoooo!

Stryder: Good enthusiasm, Ritt. Men, learn from this fine man.

Ritt: HIGHWAAAAAY TO THE DANGER ZOOOONE... RIIIDE INTO THE *crashes into another hammerhead*

Stryder: See him get into character? That's what I want all the rest of you to do!

Aurora: I think he just died.

Stryder: No he did not. Since when did members of the Miraluka Masochist Pilots do such stupid things?

Aurora: That's just a rather obscure Monty Python reference to the Scottish Suicide Squads.

Stryder: It has nothing to do with the Queen's Kamikaze Highlanders.

Aurora: He's still dead.

Stryder: Are you trying to tell me that a blind man can't fly a plane.

Aurora: Force, Kill me now

*cutaway to crix, who holds a bead on Aurora's forehead, before being interrupted by a phonecall*

Crix: Yes.... Oh, just answering some prayers..... Oh, just using a laser pointer before roundhousing a padawan into oblivion....  

[Missing00]

((it's from Biran Regan Nelo))  

[Sol Walker]

Nakara: Kawaii, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Kawaii: No, probably not.

Nakara: stare

Kawaii: What now?

Nakara: Say it.

Kawaii: Puss spewing hairballs... *ahem* 'I think so Master, but burlap chafes me so.'

Nakara: Yay!!

Kawaii: stare I feel dumber for saying that.

Info239: I have no feelings.

Kawaii: Shut up.  

[Nelowulf]

((what's ironic is that I actually had down a pinky and the brain line before I went with something more obscure.))

Nakara: Kawaii, I choose you!
Kawaii: For what?
Nakara: Thunderbolt!
Kawaii: Against what?
Nakara: Against the pokemon!
Kawaii: What?
Nakara: How are we going to fit into japanese culture if you don't know how to fight?
Kawaii: This is another Fourth wall reference?
Nakara: Naturally.  

[Sol Walker]

Cont.

Kawaii: and for the record, its called Force Lightning.

Nakara: Shut up and do it already!  

[Darkened Angel]

( Kawaii goes on his own and becomes a new Sith Lord that controls a large portion of the galaxy )

Kawaii: ( turned back in a chair ) My plans have almost come to total victory. The remaining worlds in the galaxy are within my grasp. I believe it is now time I have our little seductress persuade them into giving up without the annoyance of having to crush their feeble resistance. Send her in.

* Siren comes in, stopping just a meter or so away from the chair *

Siren: You wanted to see me, Lord Kawaii?
Kawaii: I have need of your talents. ( turns the chair around to face her ) To start, I need you to-
Siren: OH MY GOD! * grabs Kawaii and starts petting him * Aren't you a little cutie? Yes you are.
Kawaii: stare Put me down right now! This is no time to be fooling around.
Siren: Looks like someone's a little cranky. You wanna go for a walk?
Kawaii: stare
Siren: Wait... What's that? You hear that, boy? Is that the mailman? Is it? Is it, boy?
Kawaii: ... sweatdrop