Funniest attempts at insults

[Analei]

Hm. I've been insulted many times, but usually, I do the insulting. The funniest attempt that has been thrown at me? Back in the day, when i was still in highschool, some girl thought it would be such a horrible thing to call me "gothic girl". Only because i rarely wear colors. I stick to black and neutral colors. Not because i wear chains or fishnets or excessive amounts of black makeup (not that i don't, on the occassion) but because i dressed like an average person, just not in color. I laughed at her stupidity.  

[Nockz the Dark Cellist]

Hahaha I have a new one but it doesnt really have a whole lot to do with me being a goth but as I was walking through the corridor in school this guy shouts, ''Here comes Jesus!!'' I laughed in my head because he must think anyone with a beard and fairly long hair is jesus. poor misguided child I thought.
Note: Yes I have a beard in school! And it aint a goatee either! lol  

[The Goth Apple]

The first thing that comes to my mind for the this thread was something from secondary school, naturally.
Them: "Witch!"
Me: "Christian!"  

[-Lasciate Ogni Speranza-]

Some person: Hey! you're gonna go to Hell!
Me: Actually, I've been to Hell. All I got was a lousy restraining order from Satan.
My friend: Well, Satan's daughter gave me a restraining order!

 

[Mitoko Sensei]

I actually got this PM this morning and it stemmed from using the Squee sig.::

Mitoko-san's PM

I must protest the use of Mr. Vasquez's work with the affiliation of "Goth". Sir you must by now know that "Goth" died out in the late 90s. No one goes around in Victorian era dress in mid August anymore. It just isn't done. You may be refering to the use of Tripp and other such brands you can find at Hot Topic, but let me assure you that this is mearly Industrial Mettal. Please keep this in mind when advertising Guilds.

I changed the users name simply because i felt that this PM shamed them.  

[Kohanna13]

WitchyBoy

one good one i use is " what gave it away?" and just keep walking.

Lol good one. Some lads will say 'Hey goff! Wanna shag?' 'Can your d**k touch your arse?' 'Yeah' 'Good then you can can go f.uck yourself' twisted  

[xxxdeletemexxx]

Emo Alice.


How sad.  

[a_sin_for_him]

Guy : *barks* (as if they were calling me a dog because my chokers)
Me: Uhmm.. You do realize you're the one who's barking, right?

Guy: ********: Well, I usually am on Top!

Guy: cocksucker
me:yeah, And I'm pretty good too!

Guy:f*****t or f**!
Me:Uhm, You may want to check those Terms in the dictionary, you May Learn something, And maybe you'll realize how stupid you sound when you call me a f** or a f*****t! If you Were trying to Refer To Me A sa homosexual, Then Just call me a homo, It's much simpler!

Guy: Satan Worshiper!
Me: Why yes, I do worship this non existant creature that you speak of!

People Staring (I don't care when people stare, but they seemed rude and ignorant!)
me: I hope you have nightmares!
mom biggrin on't Say that!

Here Is one From Another Guild I'm in... It's The Goth Above Me game!

Guy From Guild: "The Goth Above me (Which I highly doubt he is) is a DOUCHE!
OH YEAH I SAID IT!
Me: The Goth Below The goth Above Me Wonders If The Goth Above Him knows that "douche" is french for "Shower", and Wonders, Why Would he Call me a shower?.. I Am Not A shower.. or Maybe He's Just a stupid ******** Who thought "hey, "douche" is a good insult, I'll call him a "douche", Even though I don't know the meaning, in hopes to hurt his feelings!"... HAHAHAH!!...

There are lots more, But I'll leave it at that!!  

[a_sin_for_him]

Silly_Doll

Someone told me to shut up once... so I yelled "YOU'RE A SHUT UP!" and ran away crying.

BEST TIME EVAR!!!

hahahah!!! I Love this!!... I couldn't stop laughing when i read it!  

[DarkPhsycotic]

About a year ago I had an e-fight w/ my ex she said he had a realy good insult but I couldn't take it. Uhhh yea what does she think the preps and chavs have been doing? Sending me fruit baskets? rofl  

[Nockz the Dark Cellist]

A new one lol:
I was walking down to the river to meet up with friends at a bridge.
1. To get to this bridge I crossed a field. The grass was wet so I started to run with my long black jacket gliding behind me. Then I hear this deliberate attempt at fake laughter from behind me. I realised it was a bunch of scobes (Irish Chavs) without even lookin back. How? Well they were trying to luagh loudly but ater the 1st few HAHA's all I could hear was coughing. Cigarettes saved the day again hahaha.
2. I was walking along the bank now and I saw 3 kids ahead of me. One was a tubby little kid and he was joking with his friends putting the life saving ring thing around his neck. Then he saw me and screamed 'AAHHH A VAMPIRE!!!' and threw the ring off himself and began to run away. He fell over quite comically and I kept on walking hahaha  

[a_sin_for_him]

hahah!!
Someone told if Cookie monster went wrong, I would be what he looked like, because of Pics I had with blue dread falls!! HAHAHAH!
I found it quite amusing!  

[Nightmares have Illusions]

The worst insult I have gotten has been when my brother and I went were visiting our cousin in Michigan and we went to the mall.
Some chick's boyfriend asks me where some store was, and I've had no idea, but when he walks away, the girlfriend comes up and says: "Don't ever hit on my boyfriend, you gothic b***h." Being non-violent, I walked away after flipping her off

The odd things about that are: I'm a guy and that even if I was stupid enough to hit on some random guy, I won't even go near the perky b*****d or his slutty, Holister wearing girlfriend  

[emo_killer]

my favorite insult/comeback moment wasnt even directed towards me, it was my best friend and some lil punk a** byatch who felt like tryin to make her feel like s**t...
We were sittin in the hall eatin lunch and she comes saunterin past and she mutters to her friend, (loud enough so we can hear her of course) "Damn, somethin sure smells like a** in this hall!" (she was lookin right at my friend.)
My best friend, god i luv her, without even missin a beat, goes: "Hey b***h, next time you got a thought, do us both a favor and write it down on a peice of toilet paper and wipe your a** with it. Im sure it will do a lot more good to you that way."
(I was so damn proud of her.)
By next period, we were called down to the counselors office cuz the b***h wanted to get my bf in trouble.
Well we ******** told the counselor our side of the story and the b***h got suspended for ten days!!! mrgreen  

[RedRosez]

People called me Smurfette when I had blue hair.
Everyone I bowl with calls me Mortisha because I lack variety in color.
People on my bus always have to say a stupid little comments about listening to emo music and ask if I hide my cuts with long jackets. Which is not the case, since I do not self mutilate myself. I show them this, and they still laugh about it.
And sometimes people walk by me and choke out little stupid things like "Omg gothhhhh" or "Don't get too close, she'll bite"