Lines You'll Never Hear

[Nelowulf]

cont.

Darth ducky: squeek.
Nakara: Yeah, i think he's lost it.
Darth ducky: squeek squeek?
Nakara: I find that my zebra stripe thong has beneficial aspects with both the ladies and in battle.
Darth ducky: Squeek?
Nakara: No, i do not think there is a correlation between shisstal's mind snapping and my lack of pants.  

[Darkened Angel]

Darth Ducky: Moo.
Nakara: Your skills in confusion are improving. I believe that one is only doable with a +20 buff to Force Mind ********.  

[Darkened Angel]

Jag: Ensign, set course for Risa.
Kaleb: I'm not your Ensign.
Jag: I will not tolerate insubordination, Mr. Crusher.
Kaleb: Dude, you're not Jean-Luc Picard, I'm not Wesley Crusher, this isn't the Enterprise, you of all people would not want to go to Risa, and this is the wrong sci-fi to start with.
Jag: Oh. ... In that case, let's stop off for a drink when we come around a place, huh?
Kaleb: ... Right, like you need more alcohol.
Jag: I gotta put up with YOU, don't I? I need it for that.
Kaleb: Whatever.
Jag: So... Why aren't we moving?
Kaleb: You blew all the credits on booze and we've got nothing left to fuel up with.
Jag: Kriff!
Kaleb: Yeah, NOW you get some sense.
Jag: This means we can't get to the next cantina!
Kaleb: ... Nevermind...  

[Derpzilla88]

*Grievous speaking to Sepratist Council on Utapau*
Grievous- "Someone has been taking our lunches from the refrigerator. And personally, my tuna sandwhich has gone missing. Which one of you was it?"
*muttering amoung the council*
Grievous- "We will simply pump your stomachs. That way, we can-"
Gunray- "What! You can't do that! Who says you can pump our stomachs?"
Grievous- "Quiet down!"
Gunray- "I don't want my stomach pumped. That wasn't in the contract."
Grievous- "Get out of my sight. All of you. *cough, cough, wheeze* Where's my inhaler?"
*Obi-Wan watches from above before jumping down*
Kenobi- "Can't find your inhaler?"
Grievous- "General Kenobi! How did you know about my inhaler?"
Kenobi- "I have my ways."
Grievous- "Guards! Set buzzy sticks for super tazer."
*Kenobi crushes guards and fights Grievous Episode III style before clones come and start shooting everything.*
Grievous- "Inhaler or not. You must realize, I can still breathe."
Kenobi- "Yes. But not that well." *force pushes Grievous into the air*

Grievous then escaped to Hoth where he did what he loves best. Testing experimental Pop-Tart flavors.  

[Darkened Angel]

Vader: What the Hell? My life insurance is more expensive just because I'm in this walking life support thing? That's discriminatory!
Palpy: That's nothing, I can't even GET insurance.
Vader: I have some good news though.
Palpy: What's that?
Vader: I just saved a ton of money on my TIE Fighter insurance by switching to Starco.
Palpy: You idiot! They don't cover being blown to Hell by rebels.
Vader: ... Kriff.  

[Darkened Angel]

( GL's attempt to appeal to the gangsta crowd )

Vader; Luke, I'm yo' daddy.
Luke: What the kriff!? eek
Vader: Look in yo' heart, boy. I ain't kriffin' you.
Luke: Oh KRIFF NO! You ain't my daddy! Shut the kriff up, you banthakriffer!
Vader: Don'chu be talkin' to me like that, nerfa.
Luke: What was that? Wha'chu call me, kriffer?
Vader: You heard me, nerfa. Now shut the kriff up and accept da truth, boy.
Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! crying  

[Derpzilla88]

(Found this on Star War.com)
*Aboard the Invisible Hand*
Grievous- "What is thy bidding Lord Sidious?"
Sidious- "General Grievous. The time has come. Execute order 65."
Grievous- "But my lord, the fleet is positioned in the Deep Core for the hyperspace jump to Coruscant. Is it wise for me to divert the attack at this time to search for ancient artifacts for you?"
Sidioius- "No. That is order 62. This is order 65. It is time for the assault. Proceed with the jump from the Deep Core to Coruscant."
Grievous- "Ah yes my lord Sidious. I can gather many artifacts on Coruscant. They will be plentiful there.
Sidious- "No, you're not hearing me. *turns to Mas Amedda* Is this thing working?"
Mas Amedda- "Yes, sir. The holoprojector is functioning properly."
Sidious- " General Grievous, you are to assault Coruscant with the intent of spreading fear and terror across the planet and to stage a capture of me. Do you understand? You are to attack Coruscant, not gather artifacts for my art collection. Is that clear?"
Grievous- "Yes, lord. It is clear. I am to proceed to Coruscant and capture your art collection."
Sidious- "Oh, hells bells. Is Lord Tyranus there?"
Grievous- "No, Lord Sidious. He remains on Tythe."
Sidious- *takes deep breath* "Okay. General Grievous, listen to me carefully. Are you listening?"
Grievous- "Yes lord."
Sidious- "Fine. You and the fleet shall do a Hyperspace jump from the Deep Core to Coruscant along the coordinates that Count Dooku and I gave you. Right?"
Grievous- "Yes lord."
Sidious- "Good. Once in Coruscant space, you will advance the fleet past the Republic's defense armada and begin assaulting the planet. Right?"
Grievous- "Yes lord."
Sidious- "Excellent. The Republic's commanders will be monitoring standard hyperspace reversion points, but since you will be coming from the Deep Core, you will have the initiative. There is no battleplan. You simply need to wreak death and destruction upon Coruscant."
Grievous- "I will enjoy that, my lord."
Sidious- "Yes, me too. But then, and this is very important, you will proceed to 500 Republica and capture me. I will be attired as Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. Do you understand?"
Grievous- "Yes, lord Sidious."
Sidious- "Are you sure? Explain back to me what I told you to do."
Grievous- "I am to proceed to Coruscant where I will begin assaulting the Republican armada with no battleplan. From there I am to advance death and destruction upon 500 Republica and Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. It is very important that I capture Palpatine's attire. And your art collection."
Sidious- *smacks forehead* "I really do hate droids."  

[Darkened Angel]

Grievous: Nothing to worry about... worry about... about... bout bout bout... * chord, eyes turn into a Windows BSOD *
Palpy: * sigh * Someone reboot the general!  

[Nelowulf]

Nakara: Long ago, in a distant system, I, Nakara, the shapeshifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But, a foolish jedi warrior wielding a glowing saber stepped forth to oppose me.... Before the final blow was struck, I pushed him into an escape pod, and flung him into space, so my evil could become law. Now the fool seeks to return to me, and undo the present that is Nakara....

*hiphop beat starts up*

Really should dash, dash to the stash, Jedi shadow pash....

~~~~

Pash: Since when did I become some cartoon of Geddy Tartachovsky?  

[Sayla-girl]

Cene: I've just realized that women are inferior to men and that we exist only to give birth to children, cook, clean, and service mankind. I think I'll retire my armor and wear far more conservative clothing and immediately marry a man 30 years my elder.  

[Nelowulf]

cont.

Nelo: Huzzah! I'm gettin' hitched!

~~~~~~

Nelo: Huzzah! I'm gettin' hitched!

~~~~~~

Darth Vader: Obi-wan never told you about your father.
Boba Fett: I know enough. I saw Mace kill him.
Darth Vader: No, Boba. I am your father.
Boba Fett: No... It can't be...
Darth Vader: Search your feelings, you know it to be true...
Boba Fett: No, it's not true! I'm not emo!
Darth Vader: Join me, and we can... Wait, what?  

[Sol Walker]

Jag: Yar! Heave -ho, Mr. Zar! Batt'n down the hatches! Avast there matey!  

[Darkened Angel]

Siren: You know, I don't really wanna do this with you. I wish you never crashed on the planet.
Pash: Aww... But I came all the way here just to see you. Oh, and I saw your centerfold picture in Sithmate some time ago.
Siren: That wasn't me, that was-
Pash: You already made that joke before.
Siren: You b*****d.  

[Sol Walker]

Pash: I'm on your planet, banging your women.

Calliga: scream scream  

[Darkened Angel]

Gynoid: Damn you, Pash! These Zeltron parts are causing my programming to determine that you are a very sexy man.
Pash: Nothing I put in you would conflict with your processor. That's your own programming.
Gynoid: Statement: Error. System malfunction. * shuts down *
Pash: I know I have looks that kill, but this is ridiculous.
Siren: * runs up and smacks Pash * That's MY line!