Lines You'll Never Hear

[Nelowulf]

The Secret to why everyone likes Xan...

Xan: Women love rich men. That's why my deodorant is made of liquified 100-credit bills, with a hint of cocoa or fresh blood, depending on the girl.  

[Jaden_Ordo]

British guy:
"Vader frequently choked his subordinates using his all-powerful, "Force choke" but the real question is this: Did he ever Force-Choke the Chicken?"  

[Darkened Angel]

Akk: Rrrrrrrrrrriding the Ruusan! Rrrrrriding the Ruusan! YAY! * pants excitedly *

( random noise )

Akk: What's that? What's that? BALL! BALL! * runs over * BALL! heart  

[Derpzilla88]

Battle Droids: "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"  

[Darkened Angel]

HK: Statement: Meatbag-bag-bag-bag-bag-bag-bag-bag... * shorts out *

( short while later, after a reboot )

HK: Eager Inquiry: Permission to destroy Microsoft, Master?  

[Nelowulf]

Siren: Poontang.... UNLIMITED POONTANG!  

[Derpzilla88]

Confederacy main computer: *blue screen of death appears* "ERROR. This system has preformed an illegal operation and will be shut down."
Battle Droids: *lying on the ground* "Error. Error. Error. Error...."
Grievous: *shaking a fist* "Damn you windows!"
Dooku: "I knew we should have gotten Cinex."  

[Darkened Angel]

Jag: Someone get to the turrets!
Laura: * shoots at the pirates, not very good at it *
Jag: Blow them to Corellia's Nine Hells already!
Laura: Dammit, Jag! I'm a cook, not a marksman!

( later )

Jag: We got injured. Help him out, will ya?
Laura: Dammit, Jag! I'm a cook, not a doctor!

( later still )

Jag: Sleep with me?
Laura: Dammit, Jag! I'm a cook, not your wife!
Jag: I'm not married, and your profession doesn't matter here.
Laura: Hmm, good point.  

[Darkened Angel]

Nova: DIE! * slash, slash *
Nakara: DIE! * slash, slash *
Kawaii: DIE! * slash, slash *
Ferno: DIE! * slash, slash *
Imperius: DIE! * slash, slash *
Siren: ... What annoying bastards.  

[Rendin Verta]

Obi: The force surrounds us....penetrates us...mmmmm..

Luke: uuuh...  

[Darkened Angel]

Luke: I'm... gonna go...

Obi-Wan: * narrows eyes * Get your space a** back here.  

[Darkened Angel]

Chewbacca: Mew.
Han: You feeling okay?
Chewbacca: * purr *
Han: ...  

[Darkened Angel]

Senator: Lord Stryder, we find you-
Jedi: OBJECTION! This paperclip from Lord Stryder's office proves he did nothing wrong!
Senator: ... Not guilty of any form of treason.
Stryder: eek ... What just happened?
Senator: Some idiot with a paperclip thinks he's Phoenix Wright and made a compelling arguement.  

[Missing00]

Tab: *looking out of a window on the Russan* -sigh-
Mareal: Oh Tabual, vhat are you doing here?
Tab: Oh just looking out at the stars, they're so pretty it almost makes you want to sing right?
Mareal: Ja...*singing* I love big starships.
Tab: I love the big bright stars.
Laura: I love to cook things.
Jag: I love the open bars.
Blikk: I love this galaxy, and all it's sights and sounds.
Xan: Boom-de-yadda boom-de-yadda.
Naomi and Kaleb: Boom-de-yadda boom-de-yadda.
Pash: I love lightsabers.
Siren: I love my company.
Calliga: I love to use the force,
Nakara: and electricity.
Aurora: I love this galaxy, it's such a wonderours place.
Stryder: Boom-de-yadda boom-de-yadda.
Ritt: Boom-de-yadda boom-de-yadda.
Cale: I love pirates.
K: I love furry things.
CW: I love Faeries.
DA: I love addictive memes.
Nelo: I love this Galaxy, even the messed up parts.
Missing: Boom-de-yadda boom-de-yadda.
Jaden: Boom-de-yadda boom-de-yadda.  

[Darkened Angel]

Vader: Did Obi-Wan tell you about your father?
Luke: He told me you killed him!
Vader: No Luke...

* scene darkens, spotlight on Vader *

I never meant to be bad to Padme.
She always meant the world to me.
I killed in her my rage and fell from grace.
And that would send me Sith at a fast pace.

We did the horizontal shagging wookiee.
And I got me some senator nookie.
One thing led to another we were young.
She got pregant with a daughter and son.

It was the heat of the moment.
Just before I went from good to bad.
The heat of the moment made me your dad.

Luke: ... eek