Lines You'll Never Hear

[Nelowulf]

Nakara: All it takes is one bad day. Well, in my case, one bad day and a lightsaber across the face.  

[Darkened Angel]

Palpy: What do you mean they blew up the Death Star AGAIN!? * sigh * Unleash it then...

( later )

Rebel Commander: And then we'll attack... Wait, what's that we're picking up?

( shift to screen, receiving message )

Sinistar: I am Sinistar. Beware, I live. Run! Run! Run! I hunger. RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWGGGHHHHH!!!!!  

[Missing00]

Jhonny: *panting and wheezing*
Missing: Yo there he is.
Nelo: You stop right where you are, that is an order! He's getting away do not let him get to the re-
Jhonny: *opens refigerator and takes sandwich*
Missing: D-don't do it pal.
Nelo: Do not do it!
Missing: hey hey hey just calm down here
Jhonny: *Eats sandwich*
Nelo: Awww hell.
Missing: you listinin' just just just, oh god. Oh my god oh my god oh my god!
*Squish crunch squish*
Missing: My blood! He punched out all my blood!!
Nelo: You call that breaking my spine? You red team ladies wouldnt know how to break a spine if- *snap* OW MY SPINE!!!  

[Sol Walker]

Jag: (Sits quietly at his desk filling out permits. He pauses, glances left then right)hmm....
ninja
*Caramelldansen*  

[Darkened Angel]

Tab: * grumble, grumble *
Jag: Okay, who's got the snack? We can't pass this room without feeding the stowaway.
Mareal: Not me.
Helix: Nope.
Kalin: Don't look at me.
Laura: I told you to get it at that store beforehand so we'd be prepared, but no, you had to buy the Blue Blaster right away...  

[Sayla-girl]

[Two slices of a Sandwich are in a refridgerator on a plate beside three bottles of Corellian Ale]

Meet The Sen'duich

[Cut back to the Sen'duich'se]

Cene: [Groans repeatedly]

Ardee: "Yeah, there she is!"

Pash: "You! Stop right where you are in the name of the Republic! She's getting away! Do not let her get to the re-"

[Cene opens the door, grabs one slice of the Sen'duich and closes the door]

Ardee: "D-don't do it, organic!"

Pash: "Do. not. do. it!"

[Cene continues to eat the Sen'duich]

Pash: "Oohhhhhhh, hell..."

Ardee: "H-h-hey, let's just calm down here! You listening? J-j-just... OH SPARK!"

[Cene chuckles as her loud footsteps are heard gathering speed]

Ardee: "SLAG, SLAG, SLA-"

[Several loud thuds are heard, a beer bottle falls over, and the refrigerator door opens slightly]

Cene: "Ahahahaha!"

Ardee: "My Head! Sh-she punched my head off!"

Pash: "Sithspit! Ow, ah-"

[A thud and a snap is heard]

Pash: "You call that breaking my spine? You Mandalorian Dogs wouldn't know how to break a spine if-"

[A loud snap is heard and the door closes and opens again, the floor now covered with blood and another one of the bottles of beer falls over]

Pash: "AUGHHH! MY SPINE!"

[A girlish scream is heard and the ending music plays]

[Cut to Cene amidst a scene of utter carnage amidst a raging battle, unhelmed and devouring a Sen'duich]

Cene: "Nom nom nom... [Takes a bite] nom nom... mmmm.. nom."  

[Nelowulf]

((I have a strong feeling you grinned the entire time writing that one up, sayla.))

Girl: What's your favorite kind of cookie?
Pash: Or *is slapped on the back* -o
Girl: Oro? Is that some stupid jedi way of saying what?
Pash: No! Not at all! God, I hope that some simpleton doesn't start using that in the future...

~~~

Link: Oro?
Girl: What is 'oro'?
Link: This one believes that a great ancient jedi started to create a new language, and oro translates to what. Sad, he died before he could complete it....  

[Darkened Angel]

Inspector: Hmm, this isn't good.
Jag: What? What's wrong?
Inspector: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to come with us. You're in violation of Fashion Code 36-24-36.
Jag: ... What?
Inspector: That shirt with those pants? Eww! Boys.

* pair of guards grab Jag *

Jag: Oh yeah? Well... Your uniforms are old hat!
Inspector: Hold it. He's right. Let him go. We're in violation ourselves. Okay boys, take use away.

* the inspection team leaves *

Laura: What just happened?
Jag: Everyone knows those uniforms clash with the station's color scheme. Speaking of which, I think your clothes offend as well...
Laura: I'm not taking them off.
Jag: I think a friendly little card game can change that.
Laura: sweatdrop  

[Missing00]

Nelo: Okay Missing we got seven people coming to this little guild party.
Missing: Yeah Cale, DA, CW, Sayla, Ral, and you and me make seven.
Nelo: Exactly and if we have 28 cupcakes each guest gets four.
Missing: Thirteen.
Nelo: What?
Missing: You mean thirteen each guest gets thirteen.
Nelo: Seven times thirteen is not 28, seven times four is 28.
Missing: Nope Im positive seven times thirteen is 28.
Nelo: You ever go to school stupid?
Missing: Yep came out the same way.
Nelo: ...You claim seven goes into 28 thriteen times.
Missing: Yessir.
Nelo: Prove it. *points Missing to chalkboard*
Missing: Okay here's a seven people,
*draws a 7*
Nelo: Okay.
Missing: and here's the 28 cupcakes.
7)28(
Nelo: Go on.
Missing: Now you cant squeeze that big seven into that itty bitty little two so we're gonna put it down here for now. Now seven goes into eight one time.
Nelo: Right.
Missing: Right.
7)28(1
.....7
and now eight minus seven is one.
7)28(1
.....7
.....1
now we get that two that we set aside a little wile ago and put it down here.
7)28(1
.....7
....21
And how many times does seven go into 21?
Nelo: Three times.
Missing: Exactly.
7)28(13
.....7
....21
Nelo: Waitaminut waitaminut! were gonna multiply this now.
Missing: Okay.
Nelo: Now put down thirteen.
Missing: Alright.
13
Nelo: And seven people.
Missing: Seven.
13
..7
Nelo: And seven times thirteen is 28.
Missing: Yep.
Nelo: This'll be a laugh.
Missing: Okay seven times three is 21,
13
..7
21
and seven times one is seven,
13
..7
21
..7
and seven plus one is eight,
13
..7
21
..7
..8
and then drop the two.
13
..7
21
..7
28
Nelo: No no no! you're clearly cheating.
Missing: No Im not that's how it is I swear!
Nelo: We'll add this, now put down seven thirteens.
Missing: Okay. *draws seven thirteens*
Nelo: Now your saying that all that, adds up to 28.
Missing: Yes, three-
Nelo: Im counting this one. *counts the right row* Three, six, nine, twelve, fifteen, eighteen, twentyone-
Missing: *counts the left row* Twentytwo, twentythree, twentyfour, twentyfive, twentysix, twentyseven, twentyeight!
Nelo:.....  

[Darkened Angel]

Obi-Wan: Alright, Luke, let me show you the power of the Jedi. * ignites saber, saber goes limp * Ah crap, it won't stay up.
Luke: rofl
Announcer: Getting old? Years of Jedi Training still not enough to keep you in shape where it counts? Try Viasaber! Viasaber - Natural Lightsaber Enhancement.
Obi-Wan: Alright, Luke, let me show you the power of the Jedi. * ignites saber *
Luke: eek Whoa...
Obi-Wan: Thanks, Viasaber! biggrin  

[Derpzilla88]

Dooku: "Grievous! Get in here!"
Grievous: "What is it, my master?"
Dooku: "I have a very important mission for you."
Grievous: "More important than leading or droid forces to victory?"
Dooku: "Yes."
Grievous: "Well? What is it?"
Dooku: "I need you to infiltrate the Jedi temple and gather whatever information you can."
Grievous: "What! I'm a general! Not a spy! Get someone else to do it. You have plenty of dark Jedi that can pretend to be a real Jedi. And if you haven't noticed, I'm not very good at being incongnito."
Dooku: "No one else is avalible. And you aren't doing anything important right now anyway. All you're doing is playing sabaac with OOM-9. Besides, I've already made the arrangements for you're disguise."
*Dooku leaves*
Grievous: "Fine. But you're coming with me."
OOM-9: "Me? Why?"
Grievous: "Because you owe me 3000 credits from our last few games. Now move."

*Later, in the Jedi Temple.*
Mace: "Welcome to the Jedi Temple younglings. I'm sure all of you are ready to take upon yourselves the journey into learning the Force and becoming a Jedi knight. But before we begin, I have one question. You two, over there. Aren't you a little young to have moustaches? And you both seem a bit tall for children."
Grievous: *In a higher voice* "No. We come from a planet of very tall people. With moustaches."
OOM-9: "What he said."
Mace: "Very well. Let us begin the tour."  

[Darkened Angel]

Announcer: This SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! The ultimate 3-way battle of the universe will take place on Geonosis at the Petranaki arena! The Lord of the Sith, the Lord of the Rings, and the Lord of the Flies will battle it out in this spectacular melee! Tickets are selling out fast, so ger yours now! Witness the victor in this no-holds-barred match claim their rightful title of: LORD OF THE BISCUIT BARON! * changes tone and talks quickly * Sponsered by Biscuit Baron, all rights reserved. Lord of the Rings and Lord of the Flies to be played by Ewoks.  

[Sol Walker]

The Mandalorian Bible, Basic Translation
Shysa 4:19:
And Jango looked upon Kal Skirata, Walon Vau and upon the others, saying "Come, follow me, and I will make you trainers of clones."  

[Sol Walker]

C3PO: R2! Master luke is in trouble! and we are the only ones who can help him!

R2: Bloop?

C3PO: Correct! It is time! Droids, transform and roll out!!  

[Darkened Angel]

Palpatine: I hereby establish the first Galactic Limbo Party!
Padme: So this is how democracy dies... With him lowering the bar on us.