Lines You'll Never Hear

[Darkened Angel]

Anakin: Snips, I could use some backup here. ... ... ... Snips?
Obi-Wan: You killed her, Anakin. Remember? " I gotta prove I'm better than relying on a little girl. "
Anakin: You're oddly calm about that.
Obi-Wan: Nobody else liked her either.
Anakin: So, I get away with it?
Obi-Wan: That's right.
Anakin: YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!  

[accio--loki]

((REVIVALLLLLLLL~! scream ))

Vader: *Walking all bad-a** through the halls of the Executer singing* I'm too sexy for myself, I'm too sexy for mysel- *phone rings* Baby, baby, baby, oooh. Oh where the hell did I put my phone?! *rummages in purse*

Random Stormtrooper: WTF. DARTH VADER IS GAY! DARTH VADER IS GAY! *Starts running around*

Palpatine: LORD VADER! What did I tell you about carrying your purse around the Executer?!  

[Darkened Angel]

Palpatine: * looking in a mirror * I'm so pretty. Who's a sexy galactic emperor? You are. Why the Hell does Jabba get a bikini-clad slave girl? I'm way better looking than that giant mass of lard. Wait a second... * pushes a button * Vader, how about getting some squads together and rounding up some hotties for me? I think it's time to throw a sexy party.  

[accio--loki]

Darkened Angel

Palpatine: * looking in a mirror * I'm so pretty. Who's a sexy galactic emperor? You are. Why the Hell does Jabba get a bikini-clad slave girl? I'm way better looking than that giant mass of lard. Wait a second... * pushes a button * Vader, how about getting some squads together and rounding up some hotties for me? I think it's time to throw a sexy party.

cont.

Vader: Yes Master. Alright boys! Can somebody please call Boba Fett, and tell him to arrive immediately?

Random Trooper: Yes sir! * sends transmission to Fett *

-LATER-

Boba: You wanted to see me, my Lord?

Vader: Yes, the Emperor needs you immediately.  

[Cyrus_the_Blackheart]

Darkened Angel

Palpatine: * looking in a mirror * I'm so pretty. Who's a sexy galactic emperor? You are. Why the Hell does Jabba get a bikini-clad slave girl? I'm way better looking than that giant mass of lard. Wait a second... * pushes a button * Vader, how about getting some squads together and rounding up some hotties for me? I think it's time to throw a sexy party.

I feel like this is a quote that DID happen, even if we didn't actually see it. Albeit in Family Guy's rendition of Star Wars.

My contribution:

Han: "Oh you wanted to kiss me your highness?"

Leia: "Well a little bit, I can't resist the scruffy looking nerf herder."

Han: "I'd rather eat a Nerf stew."

Leia: *runs off crying*

Han: "What, why is she upset?" *sitting in front of a bowl of Nerf stew*  

[Darkened Angel]

Lucas: What was I thinking? In Return of the Jedi, I should've just had Leia wear the metal bikini for the rest of the movie. If I only knew how much the sex appeal angle got later on, but no, I had to be conventional. Time for another remake.  

[Cyrus_the_Blackheart]

Darkened Angel

Lucas: What was I thinking? In Return of the Jedi, I should've just had Leia wear the metal bikini for the rest of the movie. If I only knew how much the sex appeal angle got later on, but no, I had to be conventional. Time for another remake.

hahaha, so many nerds were satisfied in so many ways that day.  

[ElladanKenet]

Leia: May I have everyone's attention please? We're evacuating into outer space with literally infinite directions in which to flee. However, we have decided that our transports will travel directly towards the fleet of Star Destroyers. Any questions?

Rebel 1: Yeah, um, is there someone from the military we can talk to, a man perhaps?  

[Darkened Angel]

Vader: Join the Dark Side. It is your destiny. Don't believe me? Look at yourself. Now back to me. Now back at yourself. Now back to me. Sadly, you are not me, but by joining, you could be a Sith Lord like me. That is the power of the Dark Side. * whistles tune *  

[ElladanKenet]

Captain Piett- I'm on a boat!  

[Darkened Angel]

Chewwie: Raaaaaarrrrrrrr.
Yoda: Damn aliens. Why can't they ever speak normally?  

[ElladanKenet]

Anakin: This is what, the ninth time I've save your life?

Obi-wan: That business on Cato Neimodia doesn't count.

~Flashback~

Drunken Obi-Wan: I can takse it! I ken!

Angry Neimodian- Why you-

Anakin- Hey hey, easy now... he didn't mean it...

Obi-Wan: Your mother's a hutt!  

[Darkened Angel]

Vader: Join the Dork Side. It is your destiny.
Luke: I'll never join you! NEEEEERRRRRDDDSSSS!  

[ElladanKenet]

Vader: No..... I... am your father...

Luke: That's not true... that's impossible!

Vader: Search your feelings, you know it to be true...

Luke: Noooooo! No.....

Vader: Join the Dark Side... we have cookiees...

Luke- Nooooo- wait, what? What kind?

Vader: The only kind there is.... Chips Ahoy...

Luke- Double Stuff?

Vader- *dramatic nod*

Luke- Throw in a glass of milk, and I'm in. Oh, my sister will want some too

Vader- Sister?

Luke- Hmm? Oh yeah, Leia, we go way back. I was thinking about kissing her. Anyway, she likes sugar.

Vader- Oh... wow, I'm way behind. Guess I really do need to sign up for SpaceBook  

[Nelowulf]

Luke: I'll take you as far as anchorhead. There you can find a shuttle or something to take you wherever you go.

Obi-wan: Luke, you have to come. I'm too old. I need you. She needs you...

Luke: I can't..

Obi-wan: I'll friend you on MySpace?

Luke:....

*five seconds later*

Luke: Tom you've been replaced...