Crix Madine Facts

[Capn Deep Blusi]

Crix Madine lost his virginity before his father did.  

[Capn Deep Blusi]

No, Crix Madine is your father.  

[Sol Walker]

what the hell are you talking about?
Crix Madine was never a virgin.
That would be the same as implying that he was never Crix Madine to begin with.  

[ElladanKenet]

Crix Madine wants you to buy the Total Gym.  

[Sol Walker]

Upon reading EK's last entry, Crix Madine promptly beat him to death, then back to life with the Total Gym.  

[ElladanKenet]

Crix Madine sold his Total Gym before he even bought it.  

[elvisnake]

Crix Madine is so powerful that he can look like this:



And be confident that no one will make fun of his hair.  

[ElladanKenet]

Crix Madine will beat you up for even thinking about people making fun of him  

[elvisnake]

Crix Madine already did beat me up, even as I was thinking about the consequences of thinking about making fun of him.  

[ElladanKenet]

He beat you up before even thinking he might possibly beat you up for thinking anyone would make fun of him.

Then he beat me up for even suggesting he'd go so low as to beat you up for even thinking he might beat you up for thinking anyone would make fun of him.

Then he'd beat us both up at the same time with the Total Gym because not only did we not buy one, but because you did not buy one, and as consequence created a paradox that only he can fix, and then beat you up with it.  

[Des Voh]

Crix Crunch. Because every bite will beat the sith out of you and make you like it.  

[Capn Deep Blusi]

Crix Madine has a black cousin who was a pimpalicious 70's action hero named Lafar Jones. As a pair, they could have stopped the empire in half a second, but ended up blowing up Alderaan. The two decided to part ways until a new threat and/ or useless planet surged.  

[ElladanKenet]

Crix Madine has his own deoderant called Crixag Body Spray.

Putting it on carries the risk that people will either run in fear of you for the rest of your life, or you'll be brutally molested by beautiful women until there's nothing left of you but some cargo shorts and a pair of socks.  

[Sol Walker]

Crix Madine beat the tar out of Lafar Jones in less time than it takes a caffed up ewok to blink, then shoved Blusi in a barrel with thirteen angry Dinkos for daring to compare him with mortal men from a galaxy far far from his.  

[ElladanKenet]

Crix Madine.

Nuff' said.