Lines You'll Never Hear

[Nospai Deathous]

"Why play "Ride of the Valkyries" it does not?"
-Yoda, on the Clone Trooper transport (forget the name... the one based off the Russian attack/troop carrier helecopter)  

[Nelowulf]

(LAAT)

"How can you shoot, women and children?"

"Easy, it is. Give them less lead, you do!"  

[Sol Walker]

"Shoot him down!"
"we're out of Rockets sir!"
"Use the Lasers Moron!"
"Sorry sir, But it would disrupt the story as we know it to kill him before you get to fight him. So we have to ignore common sence in order to keep people in their theater seats."
"oh...ok then..."  

[Nospai Deathous]

Alderaanian-
"Boy, there sure is an eerie green glow in the sky. Feel like i'm in some kind of stupid holo. You know, those crappy things they did 20 years ago, with the bad animation and crummy acting. Ooh, it's getting closer now. Hm. Maybe it's one of those 'old' spaceships we sent off to scout the surrounding galaxies. 'bout time it got back. Kinda weird, there seems to be a small moon behind it.

It's...
It's......

It's so... beautiful! I wanna-"

*BOOM*  

[Sol Walker]

"Finally, Ive slain every last jedi in the Galaxy. Victory is ours."
suddenly two figures emerge
"YO BITCHFIST!"
Vader turns to look at them
"what the hell?..."
the skinny jedi and the fat jedi ignight their bongsabers
"Just Call me Darth Balls, Booommmbbb!"
Vader ignites his own
"You will regret your actions misguided jedi scum."
And thus begins the greatest lightsabre battle of all time. Darth Vader vrs Jay and Silent Bob.  

[Missing00]

Cale Darksun

"Shoot him down!"
"we're out of Rockets sir!"
"Use the Lasers Moron!"
"Sorry sir, But it would disrupt the story as we know it to kill him before you get to fight him. So we have to ignore common sence in order to keep people in their theater seats."
"oh...ok then..."

I always wondered why they didnt use the lasers.  

[Missing00]

((Im not sure If wedge did get one or not but))

You got a Y-wing? ha those suck a**. You really think your going to destroy the death star in that slow a** thing? Well see ya in the graveyard but Im going in my X-wing hahahahaha suckers! H-hey! who took of with my X-wing? Where did it go? .....Aww crap. -Wedge right before he borded a Y-wing to defeat the death star.  

[Kittensaurex]

Chewy: Rowr! *coughs up furball*
Han: Ew... that's disgusting! Sorry Leia...
Leia: *Looks down at furball which is all over her shirt*...that's okay... I guess...
Luke:...*burst out laughing and points at Leia*

(^-^ I always thought that should have happened... just a little blooper. And then they all laugh and go... "Chewie..." And he growls. ^-^)  

[Darkened Angel]

Cale Darksun

"Finally, Ive slain every last jedi in the Galaxy. Victory is ours."
suddenly two figures emerge
"YO BITCHFIST!"
Vader turns to look at them
"what the hell?..."
the skinny jedi and the fat jedi ignight their bongsabers
"Just Call me Darth Balls, Booommmbbb!"
Vader ignites his own
"You will regret your actions misguided jedi scum."
And thus begins the greatest lightsabre battle of all time. Darth Vader vrs Jay and Silent Bob.

Ultimate Jedi Masters, Jay and Silent Bob are. Save the galaxy from the Dark Side, they will. PWN the asses of the Sith, they will. - Yoda  

[Nospai Deathous]

((faye- yes.

missing- he piloted an X-wing, but it's ok. it's a line we'd defenitely never hear.))  

[Game Nut]

*farts* Emperor is right the dark side is a pathway not only unnatural but smelly too.

Anakin  

[Darkened Angel]

(( Ripped from the " A Lost Hope " spoof because I thought it was funny ))

Palpatine: I've been working on this for some time. * shows a crudely drawn picture that resembles a boob *
Vader: A boobie?
Palpatine: No, a battle station. I call it the Sphere O Fear.
Vader: ...
Palpatine: Or, Planet Death.
Vader: ...
Palpatine: Death Moon? ... Giant Hurt Ball? ... The Death-ticle?
Vader: ...

(( And now for something original ))

Wedge: Alright, my lasers are out, no concussion missles left... I got no choice but to ram the bridge with my ship at full speed. * due to significant damage, he's going as fast a blimp in a crosswind *
Imp Guy: Captain! A ship is coming for us. It's going collide with the bridge!
Imp Captain: OH MY GOD! WE'RE DOOMED! ALL PERSONNEL, EVACUATE THE SHIP! HEAD TO THE ESCAPE PODS!
* the imps escape the SD as Wedge's X-Wing edges ever so slowly toward the SD *
Wedge: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
( time passes )
Wedge: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
( The entire war is over now )
Wedge: AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
* Wedge's ship bumps into the SD, only making a barely audible metallic tap noise * ( Though that's technically impossible, since sound cannot travel in empty space. )  

[Darkened Angel]

Vader: WHERE'S MY HELMET!?
Stormtrooper: It's on your head... You're wearing it.
Vader: Oh... Okay then...
Stormtooper: Yeah...
Vader: Well then, I'll just uh... you know...
Stormtrooper: Of course, Lord Vader.
Vader: Maybe I'll go and um...
Stormtrooper: ... Lord Vader?
Vader: God it's boring around here. Isn't there a rebel base we could destroy or something?
Stormtrooper: All rebel bases destroyed, all rebel personnel either killed or imprisoned, and all rebel ships are destroyed.
Vader: Hmm... Isn't there SOMETHING to do?
Stormtooper: Well, Lord Vader, there is always marching around hallways looking all bad-a** with the Imperial March theme playing.
Vader: Oh yeah! I'll go do that now.

* Vader starts to walk away, but then stops *

Vader: Oh, 1 last thing...
Stormtrooper: Yes, Lord Vader?
Vader: Die. * Force chokes him to death * MUAHAHA! * marches down the hall with the Imperial March playing *  

[neoqueenserenity298]

try this one on for size.

~Yoda~ "Gay, I am"  

[The Prince of oranges]

^ above has been done

I am macho, dont you think?

-C3-PO