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 Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 4:33 pm
Well, on a completely random note; I managed to get my paws on the Final Fantasy ~ Tour De Japon soundtrack; which is a concert that Nobuo Uematsu has been conducting of some of his best songs in full live orchestral.
It's like an auditive orgasm on every drumroll.
Srsly.
Not really that big a thing, but it'll keep me busy and happy for a while rofl
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:04 pm
UglyCoyoteNG Kasaki01 I know I haven't said much here and its probably because I don't like to talk about my problems because i end up whining about them. But, there is something about me I want to address since its been going on for a while. I have this thing, I don't know if its depression or anything clinical, but its this thing about how I feel. It feels like a haven't any emotion of my own and i tend to mimic people's feelings. I'm not often happy or sad anything really and when I do have my spurrs of emotion they literally last for seconds. However, when at a public place it seems who ever I talk to I mimic what they're feeling. Yes, I understand the concept of surrounding yourself with certain kinds of things you'll will be influenced to mimic those things. But as you all know emotion runs deeper then what the eye can see. As an example, I have this friend who can get very depressed without reason, however he's very at hiding it. When I talk to him sometimes and we luagh and joke, I become sad and want to be isolated. It's not long before he seperates himself from the conversation and goes off on his own. He comes back saying he was kind of depressed and just wanted to be alone for a few minutes. This is becoming a concern of mine because I dont want to feel what other people are feeling. If i cant feel on my own then I can't help those who are sad because I'll becoming sad with them. I cant be truely happy with somebody else because my happiness isnt geniune, its just a reflection of what they feel. I'm sorry if i confused anybody, I tend to do that when I speak about personal issues. But to anyone who understands, do you have any advice? I tend to do that too, especialy when I've been drained by my paranoia, I'm typicly like this for days. I suggest going to see a counciler. They have techniques to control it, but it didn't work for me, since I can't really control my paranoia. I'm not paranoid or anything. I'm perfectly normal, as far as that goes anyway. Im not going to a counciler either, they just annoy me. Beside I want to fix this alone, i just need somebody to point me in the right path. Yes, that what councilers are for, but i re-state, I do not like them.
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:09 pm
DoomNeko It's like an auditive orgasm on every drumroll.
Srsly. I see your eargasm and I'll raise you a tastegasm. At the Busch Campus Student Center, where I eat lunch, there's an Indian restaurant. I had some of a dish (I can't remember the name) that's a sort of pureed spinach, with spices and chunks of solid cheese in it. And eating it, it was the same intensity and feeling of "wow, how interesting" that came with having sex for the first time.
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:37 pm
Wow, Doomie....color me jealous! Tell us what songs are on it! heart Anyway...time to insert a bit of my own drama (like moving wasn't enough rolleyes ) Please forgive the wordiness and try to get through it....I've highlighted the creepy factor already.... I recieved this letter today: Quote: “I’ve pondered long and hard about what I’m now going to share with you—no great surprise, since I tend to be a very analytical thinker—and I’m still not 100 percent sure that it’s the right thing to do. But, when I do get out of my head long enough and listen to what I “feel”, it feels right to share it with you, even though my head is reluctant and fearful. So, here it goes: You rescued me from a very dark place. This much you already know because I have thanked you for it on more than one occasion. You were a right and shining point of light during a time of despair in my life. You brought me laughter and fun when all I wanted to do was lash out and be angry. You saved me from myself and I found that I wanted to spend more and more time with you. The bottom line is that I have developed a bit of a crush on you. I kept telling myself that I couldn’t have these feelings, that it wasn’t right, and I’d purposely stay away. But, after a few days, I would remember the laughter that you brought me and I’d find myself checking to see if you were online. Part of me would be hoping that you wouldn’t be so I could put those feelings to rest and the other part would be telling the first part to shut the hell up because, well, you are fun to be with and that part of me wanted to spend time with you. Most of my friend’s idea of a “fun” time is to watch TV. TV sucks. I like to get out and do things and laugh while I’m doing it, even if it’s just driving around being silly. There, I’ve said it. I hope my words haven’t made you uncomfortable. You should know that I would never act on these feelings nor do anything that would make you uncomfortable. If I have ever done anything that made you uncomfortable, I am truly sorry. And that was three sentences in a row that I used the word “uncomfortable” in (this one makes four…). I believe that two adults should have an open and honest discussion and, in fact, it is more healthy to discuss things openly and honestly than to keep them bottled up inside. If our spending time together ever caused any stress between you and Doug, well, I’m sorry for that, too. Know this: You will always have a special place in my Heart and that has nothing to do whatsoever with the b it of a crush I had. You were the only person who made any difference in my life when I moved back to Vermont and for that I will be eternally grateful. I don’t think you truly realize just how much what you did means to me. I have never known greater despair, anguish, rage or bleakness in my life and you erased all of it. You made me smile. You made me laugh. You brought me fun and you did it all by just being you. That’s what makes it so special—you didn’t even have to try. All you did was be yourself an it’s a very special type of person that can bring someone back from the brink of totally losing their s**t (please pardon my vulgarity), and believe me I was VERY close to completely losing it, by just being who they are. You saved me, plain and simple, and that is why you will always have a special place in my Heart and why I will never be able to thank you enough.” Okay....what's so wrong with this? Sweet, ne? I'll tell you what's wrong with this. The author of this essay is my uncle! Well, okay, step-uncle...but STILL. He's twice my age! And he's still RELATED (somehow)! Thank goodness I moved to Florida when I did.... stare Why do I seem to attract the weirdos?! gonk
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:49 pm
*is envious that Manda gets all the weirdo attentions*
Well.....erm........we've talked about this on Messenger.....when you talk to him about it.....use tact and be careful.
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 7:08 pm
Shaviv You know what gets to me? I as a liberty-hugging small-government pro-social-welfare political being feel really out of place in this country of control freaks who seem out to punish the poor for being poor, the sick for being sick, the homeless for being homeless, and so on. I as a peace-loving Zionist feel really out of place among the bloodthirsty evangelical Christian Zionists. I as a bi- if straight-leaning and decidedly agnostic furry feel rather out of place in my moderately orthodox Jewish community. I as a member of this moderately orthodox Jewish community feel rather out of place as a furry. I as a researcher studying animals' behavior feel rather out of place as a furry, for that matter. Man, it goes on and never stops. It's not even something big, it's little. Kind of like a grain of sand stuck in your sock, you know. It's hardly noticeable at first but after a while it gets to you.
I make myself fit where I want to be and if people look at me as if I do not belong I ignore them. However, a place can grow too uncomfortable and you just have to get away from it. But it is of no consequence when that happens because there are always other places to go.
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 8:29 pm
Shaviv DoomNeko It's like an auditive orgasm on every drumroll.
Srsly. I see your eargasm and I'll raise you a tastegasm. At the Busch Campus Student Center, where I eat lunch, there's an Indian restaurant. I had some of a dish (I can't remember the name) that's a sort of pureed spinach, with spices and chunks of solid cheese in it. And eating it, it was the same intensity and feeling of "wow, how interesting" that came with having sex for the first time. palak paneer
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:00 pm
Kasaki01 UglyCoyoteNG Kasaki01 I know I haven't said much here and its probably because I don't like to talk about my problems because i end up whining about them. But, there is something about me I want to address since its been going on for a while. I have this thing, I don't know if its depression or anything clinical, but its this thing about how I feel. It feels like a haven't any emotion of my own and i tend to mimic people's feelings. I'm not often happy or sad anything really and when I do have my spurrs of emotion they literally last for seconds. However, when at a public place it seems who ever I talk to I mimic what they're feeling. Yes, I understand the concept of surrounding yourself with certain kinds of things you'll will be influenced to mimic those things. But as you all know emotion runs deeper then what the eye can see. As an example, I have this friend who can get very depressed without reason, however he's very at hiding it. When I talk to him sometimes and we luagh and joke, I become sad and want to be isolated. It's not long before he seperates himself from the conversation and goes off on his own. He comes back saying he was kind of depressed and just wanted to be alone for a few minutes. This is becoming a concern of mine because I dont want to feel what other people are feeling. If i cant feel on my own then I can't help those who are sad because I'll becoming sad with them. I cant be truely happy with somebody else because my happiness isnt geniune, its just a reflection of what they feel. I'm sorry if i confused anybody, I tend to do that when I speak about personal issues. But to anyone who understands, do you have any advice? I tend to do that too, especialy when I've been drained by my paranoia, I'm typicly like this for days. I suggest going to see a counciler. They have techniques to control it, but it didn't work for me, since I can't really control my paranoia. I'm not paranoid or anything. I'm perfectly normal, as far as that goes anyway. Im not going to a counciler either, they just annoy me. Beside I want to fix this alone, i just need somebody to point me in the right path. Yes, that what councilers are for, but i re-state, I do not like them. Well, find the right one. Your not doing it on your own if our seeking help. Not all councilers are assholes. If you not willing to get over it, then your not honestly willing to help yourself.
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:07 pm
blarg I got contacts today razz
1. My eyes hurt
2. I have a headach
buuuut for the first time in my life I could look in the mirror and see myself, withought glasses, and withought squinting razz
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:13 pm
Manda_Tifa Wow, Doomie....color me jealous! Tell us what songs are on it! heart Anyway...time to insert a bit of my own drama (like moving wasn't enough rolleyes ) Please forgive the wordiness and try to get through it....I've highlighted the creepy factor already.... I recieved this letter today: Quote: “I’ve pondered long and hard about what I’m now going to share with you—no great surprise, since I tend to be a very analytical thinker—and I’m still not 100 percent sure that it’s the right thing to do. But, when I do get out of my head long enough and listen to what I “feel”, it feels right to share it with you, even though my head is reluctant and fearful. So, here it goes: You rescued me from a very dark place. This much you already know because I have thanked you for it on more than one occasion. You were a right and shining point of light during a time of despair in my life. You brought me laughter and fun when all I wanted to do was lash out and be angry. You saved me from myself and I found that I wanted to spend more and more time with you. The bottom line is that I have developed a bit of a crush on you. I kept telling myself that I couldn’t have these feelings, that it wasn’t right, and I’d purposely stay away. But, after a few days, I would remember the laughter that you brought me and I’d find myself checking to see if you were online. Part of me would be hoping that you wouldn’t be so I could put those feelings to rest and the other part would be telling the first part to shut the hell up because, well, you are fun to be with and that part of me wanted to spend time with you. Most of my friend’s idea of a “fun” time is to watch TV. TV sucks. I like to get out and do things and laugh while I’m doing it, even if it’s just driving around being silly. There, I’ve said it. I hope my words haven’t made you uncomfortable. You should know that I would never act on these feelings nor do anything that would make you uncomfortable. If I have ever done anything that made you uncomfortable, I am truly sorry. And that was three sentences in a row that I used the word “uncomfortable” in (this one makes four…). I believe that two adults should have an open and honest discussion and, in fact, it is more healthy to discuss things openly and honestly than to keep them bottled up inside. If our spending time together ever caused any stress between you and Doug, well, I’m sorry for that, too. Know this: You will always have a special place in my Heart and that has nothing to do whatsoever with the b it of a crush I had. You were the only person who made any difference in my life when I moved back to Vermont and for that I will be eternally grateful. I don’t think you truly realize just how much what you did means to me. I have never known greater despair, anguish, rage or bleakness in my life and you erased all of it. You made me smile. You made me laugh. You brought me fun and you did it all by just being you. That’s what makes it so special—you didn’t even have to try. All you did was be yourself an it’s a very special type of person that can bring someone back from the brink of totally losing their s**t (please pardon my vulgarity), and believe me I was VERY close to completely losing it, by just being who they are. You saved me, plain and simple, and that is why you will always have a special place in my Heart and why I will never be able to thank you enough.” Okay....what's so wrong with this? Sweet, ne? I'll tell you what's wrong with this. The author of this essay is my uncle! Well, okay, step-uncle...but STILL. He's twice my age! And he's still RELATED (somehow)! Thank goodness I moved to Florida when I did.... stare Why do I seem to attract the weirdos?! gonk ...I'd be greatful, it seems like his affection is very well ment, and great enough to push over the boundry of being related. I suppose getting something Like that from an Uncle would be shocking, but I'd be very flattered.
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:15 pm
Manda_Tifa Wow, Doomie....color me jealous! Tell us what songs are on it! heart Anyway...time to insert a bit of my own drama (like moving wasn't enough rolleyes ) Please forgive the wordiness and try to get through it....I've highlighted the creepy factor already.... I recieved this letter today: Quote: “I’ve pondered long and hard about what I’m now going to share with you—no great surprise, since I tend to be a very analytical thinker—and I’m still not 100 percent sure that it’s the right thing to do. But, when I do get out of my head long enough and listen to what I “feel”, it feels right to share it with you, even though my head is reluctant and fearful. So, here it goes: You rescued me from a very dark place. This much you already know because I have thanked you for it on more than one occasion. You were a right and shining point of light during a time of despair in my life. You brought me laughter and fun when all I wanted to do was lash out and be angry. You saved me from myself and I found that I wanted to spend more and more time with you. The bottom line is that I have developed a bit of a crush on you. I kept telling myself that I couldn’t have these feelings, that it wasn’t right, and I’d purposely stay away. But, after a few days, I would remember the laughter that you brought me and I’d find myself checking to see if you were online. Part of me would be hoping that you wouldn’t be so I could put those feelings to rest and the other part would be telling the first part to shut the hell up because, well, you are fun to be with and that part of me wanted to spend time with you. Most of my friend’s idea of a “fun” time is to watch TV. TV sucks. I like to get out and do things and laugh while I’m doing it, even if it’s just driving around being silly. There, I’ve said it. I hope my words haven’t made you uncomfortable. You should know that I would never act on these feelings nor do anything that would make you uncomfortable. If I have ever done anything that made you uncomfortable, I am truly sorry. And that was three sentences in a row that I used the word “uncomfortable” in (this one makes four…). I believe that two adults should have an open and honest discussion and, in fact, it is more healthy to discuss things openly and honestly than to keep them bottled up inside. If our spending time together ever caused any stress between you and Doug, well, I’m sorry for that, too. Know this: You will always have a special place in my Heart and that has nothing to do whatsoever with the b it of a crush I had. You were the only person who made any difference in my life when I moved back to Vermont and for that I will be eternally grateful. I don’t think you truly realize just how much what you did means to me. I have never known greater despair, anguish, rage or bleakness in my life and you erased all of it. You made me smile. You made me laugh. You brought me fun and you did it all by just being you. That’s what makes it so special—you didn’t even have to try. All you did was be yourself an it’s a very special type of person that can bring someone back from the brink of totally losing their s**t (please pardon my vulgarity), and believe me I was VERY close to completely losing it, by just being who they are. You saved me, plain and simple, and that is why you will always have a special place in my Heart and why I will never be able to thank you enough.” Okay....what's so wrong with this? Sweet, ne? I'll tell you what's wrong with this. The author of this essay is my uncle! Well, okay, step-uncle...but STILL. He's twice my age! And he's still RELATED (somehow)! Thank goodness I moved to Florida when I did.... stare Why do I seem to attract the weirdos?! gonk Wow Manda, it must be hard being so nice and getting unwanted attention! To be honest, I think it was good of him to say what he felt, and to be tactful and point out that he doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. SOME things are better left unsaid, but maybe he could't've really kept it in any longer, and now you know how he's been feeling. So now that you know, it's important that he knows how you feel as well. Judging by the note, he won't be offended or angry or anything, just always grateful that you helped him.
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:16 pm
There's one thing that's always bugged me about my sexuality. I think it's pretty much common knowledge around here that I'm bisexual (Well, in general among furries who ISN'T?). I think it may be common for some bisexuals to generally prefer on gender over the other while still being attracted to both, and also for some bisexuals to shift their preferences from time to time. I know that's what happens for me. Sometimes I'm more interested in guys, and at other times I'm more interested in women.
Oh, if it were only that simple for me though. When I experience these shifts in preference, my general mood tends to shift as well. When I'm more interested in guys, I'm generally pretty laid back and easy-going, and sweeter that I usually am. But when I'm more into women, I'm usually a bit more cynical, jaded, and at times I can be downright nasty. I do my best to keep it under control, but there are times that I'll just snap and get pissed off for something little.
Also, the one of the biggest problems that arises for me during that time is I can feel sorta alienated. A lot of my friends are either Bi and more into men, or just gay. That really wouldn't be a problem, but then there's the fact that they can be a little on the femme-phobic sides at times, and that's where I start to feel cast out. I can't help it >.>;;
Really, I don't want to go all the way to being gay or being straight. There is no way I could. In fact, I generally find it convinient in some ways being Bi. It's just the mood changes that really seems to be a burden. I just want my general mood to be consistent all the time, only changing due to real things xp
Oh, and I saw Pirates today. It was great heart
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:41 pm
Manda_Tifa Wow, Doomie....color me jealous! Tell us what songs are on it! heart
01. Final Fantasy VII ~ Opening-Bombing Mission
02. Final Fantasy X ~ To Zanarkand
03. Final Fantasy XI ~ Ronfaure
04. Final Fantasy VII ~ Aeris' Theme
05. Final Fantasy VIII ~ The Oath
06. Final Fantasy IX ~ You're Not Alone
07. Final Fantasy V ~ Ahead On Our Way
08. Final Fantasy VII ~ Final Fantasy VII Main Theme
09. Final Fantasy IV ~ Theme Of Love
10. Final Fantasy I to III ~ FFI-FFIII Medley
11. Final Fantasy VI ~ The Opera
12. Final Fantasy VII Advent Children
13. Final Fantasy Main Theme
biggrin
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:43 pm
Sakiimi blarg I got contacts today razz 1. My eyes hurt 2. I have a headach buuuut for the first time in my life I could look in the mirror and see myself, withought glasses, and withought squinting razz Don't worry, they take a little getting used to at first, but it shouldn't be too long before you're comfortable with them.
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:46 pm
shoki_de_nai Sakiimi blarg I got contacts today razz 1. My eyes hurt 2. I have a headach buuuut for the first time in my life I could look in the mirror and see myself, withought glasses, and withought squinting razz Don't worry, they take a little getting used to at first, but it shouldn't be too long before you're comfortable with them. I surely hope so! I really like wearing them :3 I promice you it took me 40 min to first get them in XD The first person I had made me put them directly on the iris... I could'nt do that at all... the nice man with the relaxing voice told me to look at my nose first. If I had him first I'm sure I'd have gotten it sooner... I was talking to my mom about it and she was telling me about when contacts were still glass >.< OUCH I could NOT do that...
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