[DISCUSSION] thoughts on love spells

[hyacinth hunter]

The type of love spell that most people think of is a bad thing. It is harmful because it causes someone to go against their own free will and may even cause them to deviate from the path that they need to follow.

The only and only "love spell" that I am entirely comfortable with would be one that's more directed at the caster. Essentially, a spell that says, "Help me be ready for Love," rather than one that says, "Bring love to me,".  

[A Scarecrow]

Its a moral choice made by the individual practitioner. Not that it really matters, though, I'm fairly certain they don't even work.  

[doistu]

My general rule is that if it messes with free will ie. if you force someone to love you, then its no good. It won't work and there's no point trying.

If the following makes sense, people fall in love with you for a reason...you have a brilliant sense of humor, or the perfect personality etc but if you cast a spell for love its only ever going to give you an infatuation, if anything, based on a whole pile of nothing.

However, casting love spells to promote love of oneself I think is a good thing. Urging yourself to love who you are through aid of the Goddess is certainly no bad thing.  

[Bunniegurl123]

I think that spells to make a particular person fall in love with you are wrong. But, a spell to draw love to you, whoever it may be, is ok.  

[Meridian Flare]

I believe that unaggressive love spells are fine. While forcing someone to change their entire life, by dumping their current partner and turning to you is certainly bad, I think that a spell that would make someone interested in you subtly and let them draw their own conclusions about that interest would be fine.

Usually, I define good and bad like this:

If it's making them interested in you, it's probably bad. However, if it's just making yourself more interesting to them, while leaving free will in tact to make a choice, I think that's acceptable.

It's kind of hard to explain, I guess.

On a related note: I feel that love spells made to rekindle passion or bind two people who are already together and may be drifting apart are perfectly fine. Such people obviously want to be together, or they wouldn't be, and I feel in that sense, it isn't harming anyone.  

[mechanical kitsy]

here's how i look at them:
i did one in february of 2007, mainly because i didnt want to be alone on valentine's day (silly 16 year old me biggrin ). i found one that said something along the lines of "bring the best love to me." Some dude (from myspace) asked me out the next day, but i said no (and he kept asking for weeks). this other guy that i liked asked me out too, so i started going out with him. he cheated on me two weeks in, i broke up with him, and that other guy (from myspace) kept asking me out. i gave in finally, and we've been together since march of 2007.

so, some loves spells are okay (it did bring the best love to me, he's made me more mentally stable), but others, directed at specific people or group of people, are not good, because they control/direct people's thoughts, if they're strong enough.  

[RubyLight]

Honestly, I have mixrd feelings about love spells. I really don't think they should be done. There are issues of free will and lets face it, you don't want just ANYBODY to fall in love with you.
A case in point: More than once I tried a "general" spell with specific qualities in a persn. Everytime, I'd have to quit, because my mind would go to the person I care about (and am not "with" in that sense). So, I gave up. If anything is going to happen, it will happen on its own.  

[whiporwill-o]

Dragoness Arleeana

I don't think that any spells that mess with free wil are ok. Period. Not even ones that get him/her to notice you more. If he/she isn't interested then let it be, or take a non-magickal aproach, like talking to them. If you can't work up the guts to at least talk to the other person then you're not ready to be in a relationship with them.

Now, making a love spell that just attracts love in general is fine by me. Like, I enspelled a candle so that I would light it every night and it would attract people who would love me. That was when I was going through a rough time and had few friends. The spell was meant to find people who would WILLINGLY love me, not make them.

i agree with you wholeheartedly.  

[-Eluveitie Eventide-]

Love spells or any spell for that matter that manipulates someone's free will is out the window.
If someone desperately wants a love spell they need to take time to think about why they want it and what kind of love they want because most of the time they only want it simply because they don't want to be alone. You shouldn't change someone's mind into liking you over that simple fact. It sounds pretty selfish if you ask me. If you truly loved someone you would let them fall in love with you and everything about you, not just brought to you by a spell like an instant frozen dinner you buy at a grocery store. I think I speak for many people when I say that a dollar worked for is a dollar well earned. What will be will be. I believe we are all aware that everything happens for a reason. If you want love, don't cast a love spell. Just cast a spell to help you be more receptive and observant to the love surrounding you everyday such as family, friends, and pets, or either cast one to bring love into your life in general. Not a single person.  

[KillerQueen Bash]

What I think is not okay to do:
-Make a specific person more open to love w/o their permission
-Make someone in particular attracted to you w/o their permission
-Make someone flat out fall in love with you w/o their permission
What I think is okay to do:
-Make yourself appear more attractive to everyone
-Make yourself more open to love
-A spell to bring love into your life

Credit

 

[ILoveTalkingOranges808]

I personally don't like the ones to make someone 'love' you. The ones that make you more appealing and noticeable. I have mixed feelings on the ones to bring a love into your life, mostly because I would rather have destiny bring love into my life, but I don't think it's bad, either.  

[kyndryana3]

I think a lot of people misuse the word love when talking about love spells. Most times, especially if they are talking about a particular person, they are talking about lust or envy, and not love. If you really love someone, why would you want to trick, coerce or force them into doing anything?

I think that the danger with love spells is that you can get what you ask for, but what you ask for may not be what you need or even what you truly want. I know I've desired people that probably weren't good for me at all.

I think using spellwork to help yourself work through personal issues with love and accepting love is a good thing. I think that a lot of people have a lot of hangups regarding love and their own worth, and that many aspects of their life are benefited by working through these hangups.

I don't even really have a problem with using a spell to allow someone to notice you...but I would stop there. Kind of like a "hey, I exist, check me out' type of thing, but then the ball's in your court and you have to take it from there.

I wouldn't consider doing a spell to bind together two people already in a relationship, not even one to bind my husband to me if I felt he was drifting away. Perhaps a spell to help facilitate a discussion between us regarding the status of our relationship. But I have been in a lot of relationships that were held together by things that weren't honest compassion and love, and being locked into a relationship like that makes me shudder.  

[Esiris]

MidnightLetter

but i still kind of think their wrong because in the end they are bringing someone to you.. against their will? who knows..?

I don't know if all love spells do that- a lot of the ones I see in books seem to be calling on fate- helping people who are supposed to be together get together.

I think free will comes into place when people force someone to have feelings that they want them to have- a spell for someone who is right for you to cross your path doesn't seem any more unethical than a boss saying "Go down to Staples and pick up printer ink for the office."

Hoodoo has lots of spells to influence specific people- and other spells designed to make lovers return when they cheat and stuff.

I'd never use them- I'm not even sure if they'd work. Like, how can one person's Will in magic overcome another person's will in everyday life? At some point doesn't a person have to decide if they'll give in? It isn't like spells make people into mindless puppets.  

[Aakosir]

Eh... Not really my thing. Like more than a few others think, it would be like forcing someone to do something. Plus, wouldn't you want this person to love you for you? Not some spell? I do not like lying and deceiving so I'm against these kind of things. Plus, I do not like people who are fake. You know, the ones who act on way with one group of friends and another way with another group of friends.