Scenes we like to see: What not to say in a presidential run

[Rellik San]

Next Scene: Things a TV announcer would never say:

This weeks songs of praise contains offensive language and sexual content.  

[Spooky Wasabi Princess]

... and in this reporters opinion the whole thing could have been avoided if ethnic cleansing was legal.  

[Rellik San]

I know what you're thinking... and yes I am naked behind this desk... now for the local news.  

[Henneth Annun]

...the food shortage can only be ended by the legalization of cannibalism, the presidant (or prime minister, whichever you like) agrees with me on this.  

[master_maji]

commenting to a co-worker " say speaking of tonight,don't forget the handcuffs and the lube."  

[Beatngufan]

" speaking of lube," the reporter replied. " The FBI never released the fact that they, indeed found lube in one of the Columbine shooters bag and in the shooters a**s, confirming that the two were having gay butt sex."  

[-Resurrected Writer-]

But before we sign-off tonight, I just want you to know, America, that I love you all.
I love you all sexually.  

[Henneth Annun]

Before we begin our televised Sunday prayers, I'd just like to say that every donation you make goes to help fund my marijuana and prostitution ring, highest donater gets three girls who specialize in S&M and a cannabis plant!  

[Rellik San]

And now, its time for another episode of countdown and yes, Carol Voderman gives me the horn too.  

[Beatngufan]

( I would die laughing if someone said this) A male reporter comments: I need a cold shower . . . I've been thinking about that high school girls volleyball game and my pants are starting to tighten. rofl lol  

[Rellik San]

New scene: What not to say when running for president.

I fully support gay marriage, stem cell research and abortions.  

[Henneth Annun]

Yes, Venom and the Church of Satan are supporting my campaign.  

[Veruniel]

Gay rights are a non-issue. I do not support the institution of marriage.  

[Rellik San]

Hows the pledge of allegiance go again?  

[Henneth Annun]

Health care? Psh, everyone's gotta die sometime!!!!