Ameliorate (Rough draft, needs severe criticism!)

[SpunkyOtaku]

Thank you so much for the criticism, but... I totally forgot the warning!!! I got so excited about writing that I forgot the materials that some people might find.... squeamish. I'm sorry for my inconsideration!!!


WARNING!! This fanfic contains crude language, graphic scenes of violence, mature themes, nudity, zany humor, and obscure video game references. Please read at your own risk.

Right, now that that's out of the way...*Reads stampede part* Sweet Mercy of Nayru, you're absolutely right! I agree whole heartedly, and I'm the author... go figure.

P.S Yes, I draw pretty, lovely pictures that aren't quite good yet. xd

P.S.S I'm sorry! I totally forgot to reply to your P.S! Yes, I will go back and explain that. I'll actually be doing it through flashbacks, it's quite entertaining.  

[Otulissa]

Yes, thank you for the warning. ^_^ That will help our fellow guild members who are not...of age. xD Anyhow, this guild allows writing like this, with crude language if necessary, but just not swearing at members. Or mature themes without warning.

Just clarifying.

And, I am sure your pictures are good. ^_^ If you have some on a site, post in the Abode of Art. (I don't have a scanner, so I cannot share my numerous artworks with you all. sad )  

[SpunkyOtaku]

Yeah, I'll be sure to give a warning... like for chapter three. I'm still not sure how I'll pull that off. (graphic wounds. bastards to deal with) eek

er, yeah, maybe when I actually get around to uploading them I will. I'm so bad about that. rolleyes  

[Otulissa]

Okay. XD  

[Irishroseh]

Maybe if you don't want to post it here, you should defiently try Fictionpress.com [hahaha for some reason I love advertising that site. ]

ooh, I love art, and i'm sure your drawings are good. :]
& yay I love Flashbacks! C:  

[SpunkyOtaku]

lol, I was never going to. I'm getting it ready for fanfiction.net Besides, isn't fictionpress.com supposed to be for original pieces of writing.  

[Otulissa]

Oh, it's a fanfiction? 0_0 xD I didn't notice; sorry...  

[Irishroseh]

I thought it was an original story.

What's it based on?  

[SpunkyOtaku]

Legend of Zelda, a combination of the Ocarina of Time edition, and Twilight Princess. Told you, the universe isn't exactly obscure.
anyway, chapter two is almost up! Just need a bit of testing first, then I'll send it up.  

[Irishroseh]

Okay, out of that I recognized... Zelda.

Anyways, yay, I can't wait for the second chapterr! :]  

[SpunkyOtaku]

Haha, cool, and before I write, I'll give you this little something, so you're caught up on this much at least:

Strider turned his body to face his left and jumped for safety. Strawberry’s body had no choice but to comply as her arm was nearly ripped out of the socket. Her face turned only to see a glistening gray club at the end of a hairy brown snout, with bone-white tusks jutting out under beady yellow eyes not five feet away from her. A giant boar. The boy and girl landed the second the torrent broke from the edge of the wall two meters away from their landing spot on the ground. The pair held onto each other for dear life, praying that they would make it out of this alive.


It was a terrifying experience, completely unlike anything they had ever felt. Their ears roared with the dozens of battering hooves and the savage piercing cries of the strange beasts. Each sound amalgamated into the next, turning everything into a ludicrous stentorian drone. The thunder pounded against them, echoing from the rock beside them and the ground beneath them. They did not dare look up or turn their heads to see, but they could feel the rocks and dust kicked up from the tidal march, and each pebble that hit made them flinch. Each second they feared one of the over-sized swine would veer from its already proximate path and squash them straight into the ground. As the morbid parade came to an end, one of the riding creatures brought up the rear with a great flying banner with a foreign insignia. It was a small green monster with hunched shoulders and elongated arms. It was mostly covered by a ragged, dirty blue tunic, and bandages for the sleeves and leggings. The bottom half of the face and the scalp of it was covered, so only its angry red eyes and curved small horns showed. It said nothing, but growled and whined in its beastly language as it tried to lope up with its comrades.

Well, I'm trying to make it more clear, while still being somewhat vague. Gives me more to work with next chapter. But I did need to catch you all up before I showed the other, so you wouldn't be in the dark. Frustration galore I know. Key is finding time to work on it. For me anyway.  

[Otulissa]

Zelda? Never heard of it...I think. xD It might be lodged away in my memory somewhere...  

[Irishroseh]

Hahahaha There's that sentence again. :]
I like it, now I know what those were and who was driving them. Now all I need is the next chapter : )



Never heard of Zelda ! It's like famous! [okay, not really, I only know about it from Super Smash Bros. and some very obsessed friends] : D  

[SpunkyOtaku]

WHAT?! How can either of you not know it!? It's only one of the greatest roleplay game licensed by Nintendo! Ever since I was a little girl, Legend of Zelda has been my video game inspiration. *sigh*  

[Otulissa]

Roleplay? xD The only roleplays I know are the literate roleplays we do in the roleplay subforum of this guild, and other parts of Gaia. xD