Engineer's Proof That "Santa Claus" Cannot Exist.

[Orkronos]

Well One must remember that in order to make apple pie one must first create the universe. Thusly Santa is the friendliest German with the most efficient everything.  

[Man of the Demoneye]

LIES!!!
scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream


THEN HOW DID MY GPS GET HERE SMARTASS?!  

[Fresnel]

Proving there cannot be ONE Santa Claus does not disprove the theory of multiple Clauses.  

[Confectionery Pastry]

Fresnel

Proving there cannot be ONE Santa Claus does not disprove the theory of multiple Clauses.

He has a point...  

[war_junky 91]

Fresnel

Proving there cannot be ONE Santa Claus does not disprove the theory of multiple Clauses.

I thought those were called parents?  

[Confectionery Pastry]

war_junky 91

Fresnel

Proving there cannot be ONE Santa Claus does not disprove the theory of multiple Clauses.

I thought those were called parents?

What about all those Santas at the mall?  

[owenmarco]

Sugar daddy donut

war_junky 91

Fresnel

Proving there cannot be ONE Santa Claus does not disprove the theory of multiple Clauses.

I thought those were called parents?

What about all those Santas at the mall?

Alcoholism.  

[Fresnel]

war_junky 91

Fresnel

Proving there cannot be ONE Santa Claus does not disprove the theory of multiple Clauses.

I thought those were called parents?

Do YOUR parents live at the north pole and work with elves?  

[Confectionery Pastry]

Fresnel

war_junky 91

Fresnel

Proving there cannot be ONE Santa Claus does not disprove the theory of multiple Clauses.

I thought those were called parents?

Do YOUR parents live at the north pole and work with elves?

........ Yes.  

[Orkronos]

Fresnel

war_junky 91

Fresnel

Proving there cannot be ONE Santa Claus does not disprove the theory of multiple Clauses.

I thought those were called parents?

Do YOUR parents live at the north pole and work with elves?

Funny story...  

[AINGELPROJECT667]

I like to think practically in the whole Santa story. Santa is a guy who breaks into people's houses, bypasses whatever home security systems that may be in said house, and leaves assorted gifts that will probably end up being unwrapped, played with for about 5 minutes, and then left alone and ignored for the rest of eternity. Adding to the fact that he's probably suffering from all sorts of health problems due to his tremendous size and incredible age, there's doubt that old Saint Nick can do anything in one night.

Of course, Santa's not really a person, but more as a symbol of Christmas. Kind of like a "spirit" that infects everyone duriong the holiday season and makes us all giddy on Christmas Day, regardless of whether we believe or not.

Geez, that was long....  

[AINGELPROJECT667]

Requiem in Mortis

Sugar daddy donut

Santa has teleportation technology, as well as an army of clones.
Dracula, meanwhile, has a moonbase.

BOOM.

With Hitler and Elvis and Micheal Jackson and Paul McCarthy and Tupac and Bruce Lee and Benjamin Franklin's headless body!

You forgot Billy Mays's brain.