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Name: Alasiri
Meaning: Afternoon Prayer
Species: Lion
Gender: Male
Mate: None
Offspring: --
Pride: None
Rank: Rogue
Seer: No

Roleplay color: #651d2e
Obtained: A Time to be Thankful (gifted by Kaisanti)
Colourist: Skye

Name: Kaym'itan
Meaning: Evening's Son-Na'vi
Gender Male
Mate-Rukopa-eupe
Offspring
Pride Inkimayan
Rank Warrior (Scout)
Seer No

Roleplay color: #004598
Obtained:Do you want to be one with the people? RP Contest 12/6
Colourist: Ecavi

Personality: Kaym'itan is best described as being steady, and silent. It is not that he prefers to be alone, in fact quiet the opposite. He enjoys village life, and often can be found helping with the cubs, or tending a cook fire. He rarely speaks more then he has to however. He has found that others waste more time and effort on false pleasantries or overtures then they must. Kaym'itan will not lie to you, not even the little polite ones. People have become cautious of asking his opinion, though now even his silence on certain matters speaks as loudly as any words. He is not impressed by bravo or speeches, for him it is action that tells of the others heart. Because of his coloring, most of his patrols are at night, and Kaym'itan serves the Inkimayan and Eywa with a proud heart, watchful eye, and the skill of an older male.

History: Kaym'tan suffered as much as any of the People in the wars, and knows these dark times will pass and he tries to take comfort in Eywa's balance, though this has become more and more difficult as of late. Since the wars, he can sometimes be seen brooding, and not even the warmth and comfort of village life has been able to pull him away from the dark moods that have befallen him. The war ravaged his people and he will do what is best for Eywa and his Pride, even if that means being at odds with the leaders of the Inkimayan Pride. For Kaym'itan there are no others save ' The People' and he will move against any who threaten them.

Name: Aaliyah
Meaning:
Species: Lion
Gender: Female
Mate: Kenan
Offspring: --
Pride: Ela'wadiyi
Rank: TBA
Seer: Yes (Hopefully)

Roleplay color: #a611af
Obtained: Secret Santa 2010
Colourist: Caj

Personality:Aaliyah has always been very sensitive to the needs of her Pride, her empathy very strong for almost all creatures. As the shaman for them she created the bridge between the gods and the felines she cared for, both physically as a healer, and spiritually as a priestess. It has given her a gentle and calming nature that can set the most panicked and pained cats at ease, allowing her to tend to their wounds. Her clear seeing and inner strength has also allowed her to walk the 'dream paths' for her people, the steady presence of her mate, giving her the peace of mind to present the prayers of her Pride to the gods directly, and at times, return to them with the answers they had sought, favorable or not. The demand on her body to travel the 'paths' is great and it has left her more frail then other lions, she tires easily, but Kenan cares for her, and her devotion and love for him is only rivaled by her devotion to the spiritual and physical health of her Pride. Soft spoken, and kind, Aaliyah bares the wisdom of her station and age with graceful, and gentle, elegance.

Note: With the destruction of their Pride, Aaliyah will serve mostly as a Healer and Teacher to any Pride she and Kenan join. The fragile lioness is completely devoted to her Guardian and mate Kenan.

History:Aaliyah was the Shaman for her pride, a well respected and talented healer, and the Pride’s link to the spirits. Her mate was a solid, dependable warrior named Kenan. Given to her as Guardian on her ascension to ‘Shaman’ by the Pride’s Elders. The two were expected to become a mated pair, but were allowed to indulge in a slow and tentative courtship, so that both of them could carefully adjust to their new roles as well as each other. The pride itself was a collaborative effort between lions and leopards, a harmonious and peaceful Pride, who’s warriors defended her boundaries while the healers looked after the sick and elderly.

However, peace was not to remain, and eventually that peace was shattered, and shattered brutally. Though the cats didn’t know what it was that hunted them, men with guns discovered the pride and sought to kill or capture them with bullets and darts. Some lions and leopards were killed for sport, some for trophies, and some were tranquilized and crated up to be transported back to England and other rich countries where collectors would pay handsomely for these exotic ‘pets’. For Aaliyah and Kenan, the timing of the attack couldn’t have been worse. With Aaliyah deep into one of her trances, there was nothing Kenan could do except guard over her. The pair were soon darted and loaded up aboard a truck which set off for one of the many rough smugglers airstrips.

The Pride’s gods however had not abandoned the Shaman and her Guardian. On the way the convoy was ambushed by a less successful party of trappers and several of the trucks drove off the dirt road and into the wide ditch at the side. The truck over turned and the four boxes on board were flung from the wreck. One was crushed and its occupant killed, the second, containing Kenan was badly mangled, but he mostly unhurt, save for a plank that had sliced open his right eye. Aaliyah's crate was third, and the impact was enough to weaken the gate, the fourth was undamaged though the leopard inside knocked unconscious. Without a thought for himself or the pain in his skull, Kenan ripped the rest of his box apart and escaped, clawing and chewing at his mate’s as she clawed at it from within with her paws.

Their escape was narrow, for as the gate gave and she squeezed free of it, the men from the truck that had caused the accident came down the slope. The two lions were forced to abandon the last remaining leopard, and Aaliyah and Kenan fled, escaping into the rough shrub land of the wild plains. Both badly shaken and injured, Aaliyah weak from the physical stress and darts lingering effects and Kenan blinded in his eye from the plank which had sliced him open on impact

Exhausted and all of a sudden alone in the world, the pair wandered for days in the Rogue Lands, struggling to gather their shattered lives. The harsh conditions, and emotional toll of the loss of the pride she had been spiritually connected to weakening Aaliyah further, and had it not been for the fierce protection and determination of her beloved, the priestess would have died. Kenan desperately hunted for them both, knowing that both his and his mate's strength was waning, when fate smiled on them one more time. The Guardian came across the first scent of lion, along the Ela'wadiyi border. Weary but joyous, he went back to his beloved Aaliyah, and told his news, and together, they set off to find the Ela'wadiyi pride, hoping that there, they would finally find shelter and safety, offering their training and skill to this new pride.

Name: Siad
Meaning: Joyful
Species: Lion
Gender: Male
Mate: None
Offspring: --
Pride: None
Rank: Rogue
Seer: No

Roleplay color: #993300
Obtained: March Custom Month
Colourist: Litiha

razz ersonality:.Said, like any good teacher, is charismatic with an easy smile, and warm, welcoming nature, though he can be stern when there is need. He enjoys life to the fullest, content in the role he fills for the Pride. Said is quite happy spending his time with the cubs, teaching and nurturing them to fore fill their own destinies. Though, when he is not teaching, you can find him studying the stars, mapping them as they move across the sky.

He can be a scholar, a comedian, a warrior, and a diplomat all in a matter of breaths, but what Said really is, is very real. With him you never have to guess where you stand, or what he thinks of you. A teacher can afford no such liberties and so Said is honest and true with everyone. He’s just very gifted at telling someone to go to the Badlands so politely, they have no idea if he insulted them, or complimented them.

Name: Tam Linn
Meaning: Scottish Fae Knight
Species: Lion
Gender: Male
Mate: None
Offspring: --
Pride: Suka'Fuma
Rank: Groundling
Seer: No

Roleplay color: #660066
Obtained: Birthday Present from Tana
Colourist: Tana


Personality: Tam Lin is one word, decadent. He is the very definition of hedonistic. He will try anything at least twice, sometimes three times to be sure. Tam Lin is a cold and sometimes cruel lion, but masks it in a way were charm and sensuality give him the veneer of a gentleman. Most of the time he has a amused expression on his face. The world is full of a hundred little jokes for Tam Lin, and he is not sharing if you are too stupid not to notice them. Arrogant, secure in his ability to back up that arrogance, everything about his body movement is unhurried, carefully staged to be both sensual and dangerous. He has no need to impress those beyond the forest, and those within it know to either stay away or come join him in his latest 'game'. It should be noted that he is devoted the the lioness who took him as a cub, even though at times he can not stand her presence.

History: (based on the Scottish Fairytale of Tam Lin) As a juvenile Tam Lin, who was called by another name then, went wandering into the forest of the Groundlings. He soon got lost, but was found by one of the lioness who made the forest her home. Enchanted by the young lion's beauty, she decided to take him, and keep him for herself, after all the Pride along the borders obviously had misplaced the youth and therefore didn't need him.

From that day on, Tam Lin has lived among the Groundlings, becoming one of them, molded into what he is now by the lioness who cub napped him. He has very little memory of his time before coming to the forest, but the dim ones that do still remain are ones of a loving mother and father, and a life other then the never ending riot of sensation that existence under the canopy of trees is, and always the scent of roses.

Often time, when he wishes to be alone, he will travel to the very edge of enchanted woods, to the old fresh water spring where he was found. There he wanders among the wild rose bushes, searching for something, though he is not sure what. Should he encounter any of the felines from the Pride, he often teases and tempts them, luring them into the pleasures and decadence that is uniquely his. Though when the time with them is over, a odd longing settles into his chest, and he wonders, for a moment, why he is so drawn to the Pride beyond the trees. However these moments are fleeting, for if anything Tam Lin is a prisoner to the lioness who first stole him, somehow unable to leave her side, no matter the temptation.

Name: Eva’raja
Meaning: New Hope
Species: Lion
Gender: Female
Mate: Sliabh
Offspring: --
Pride:Kitwana'antara
Rank: Master Healer
Seer: No

Roleplay color: #0000ff
Obtained: Kitwana'antara Rehoming Contest 4/11
Colourist:

Personality: Eva’raja is a passionate lioness. She inherited her mother’s kind, caring, gentle nature, and is always willing to help another creature in need. She cares deeply for those she cares about, and that’s practically everyone – even if she’s only met you once, you’re in Eva’s prayers. She takes it upon herself to mourn each and every death separately, feeling that each and every death deserves to be acknowledged. They were all someone’s child, someone’s friend. She’s A naturally fussy lioness, and those close to her in particular will often find themselves cast over by her searching sea-blue eyes, and the slightest sign of distress or illness worse she previously knew will set the dark female upon you, and she won’t back off until she herself is completely satisfied that she has fixed your problem, or done her best to do so. She’s determined and stubborn – Eva will always complete a task to the best of her ability, and finds herself disappointed if she fails to reach her own high expectations.

Gaining an insatiable curiosity from her father, Eva always wants to know what that technique is that she’s never seen before, or who that new leopard is patrolling the borders. Some call it nosy, but Eva just likes knowing things. It makes her feel more prepared, more ready for anything the Gods may throw at her. She tries to make it known that if she is unintentionally prying a little too much, just to say and shell step away. Eva’raja tries to respect each pride member as an individual, and realizes that she can’t know everything about everyone. She just gets carried away sometimes. Impatience runs deep within the lioness’ veins, and she won’t wait, not for much. She’s always shuffling her feet, fidgeting, doing something, unable to just sit still and do nothing.

History: Surya’nontle’s first mate was quickly slain by the vicious disease that gripped the Kitwana’antara lands, and the young queen found herself forced to choose another. Kuwat was a young hunter in the pride, and was showing promise – he was expected to soon take up the rank of warrior, and join the pride’s strongest and bravest fighters. Surya was urged by her Vizier’s to accept him as her King, and she agreed. Their relationship was awkward at first, but the pair soon grew to tolerate each other, a friendship soon blooming. But that was all they were – friends. It wasn’t until Surya suddenly seemed to get much worse that anything happened. Breathing became difficult, and nosebleeds became more frequent. Terrified of the prospect of dying without having been a mother, Surya begged Kuwat. He agreed, and the lioness was soon pregnant.

Beginning to fall for Kuwat, Surya’s symptoms seemed to improve as her pregnancy progressed – healers told her it had just been a particularly bad spell, and that she still had time. Surya gave birth to a litter of five cubs – Eva’raja was her first born daughter, her first child. Out of the litter, she was the only one to survive to adulthood. Eva grew up watching her siblings die – the two youngest died within days of being born, so their death didn’t affect the lioness as badly. A younger brother died as a juvenile, having been struck with a separate disease which tore at his immune system, allowing the pride’s disease to finish the job. Her younger sister survived with Eva to adolescence, but she too succumbed to the disease.

Even when her other children were still alive, Surya’nontle doted on Eva’raja. She saw a lot of herself in her daughter – she was caring and gentle, with a beautiful smile. But at the same time, there was a lot of Kuwat in her – her impatience and curiosity only ever got her into trouble. Surya herself was beginning to fall for the warrior, beginning to see his more passionate, loving side. But just as Eva reached adolescence, more tragedy struck. Kuwat, Surya’s mate and Eva’s father, passed away. Panicking once again, Surya turned to her aging daughter. Eva had just begun to exhibit symptoms of the disease, and was officially named as Surya’nontle’s heir. The ceremony was held, and the pride was in high spirit despite the King’s death – Eva’raja was the only surviving child of the queen, this showed she was a strong lioness. Stronger, apparently, than they all thought – a week after the ceremony, she recovered completely. She wasn’t infected, she was a carrier. Eva’raja couldn’t be the heir.

Both mother and daughter were distraught. By this time, Surya’nontle had found herself a third mate, and was soon pregnant again. She gave birth to a smaller litter this time, only three, but all survived past the first week. One girl, two boys. It was at this time the Eva’raja began to feel she was destined for something more – not just sitting around, being a ‘Duchess’. She couldn’t be Queen, but she could still make a different. Consulting her mother, the lioness immersed herself in the healing profession, getting in much experience within her only family, her younger siblings proving to be good practice when her two brothers began to exhibit symptoms in their early childhood. Both died within days of each other, leaving only the Eva’s younger sister. Times were tough – Eva’raja’s abilities were pushed to the test with a particularly lethal sweep of disease through the Kitwana’antara lands, followed by an attack by a nearby pride. She was kept busy caring for her mother and sister, both ill with the disease, as well as fallen pride members. Her hard work and devotion earned her the title of Master Healer – Surya herself performed the ceremony, whispering into Eva’s ear as she stepped up to receive the title. ”Look after your sister.”

Eva didn’t understand then – but she soon did. Nawiri’chiwa was named as heir, and Eva’raja stood strong beside her sister, providing her with a shoulder to cry on as they watched their mother sacrificed to the Goddess of Pestilence.

Name:Eusi'chosi/ Erlendr in the Storm Born.
Meaning: "black tears" in Swahili/ 'Outlander' in old Norse
Species: Lion
Gender: Male
Mate: None
Offspring: --
Pride: Tianxia * as a cub* Myrsky Syntynyt *as adult*
Rank: Cub
Seer: No

Roleplay color: #ff6600
Obtained: Gifted by Talencia
Colourist: Eacvi

Alasiri

Active Rp:
Additons to a 'Makeshift' Family,Man, I could use a fermented fruit

Used for Breeding:
Blind Searching
River Dangers
Of Rogue Opnion
Love is Patient

Finished Rp:
Blind Searching
River Dangers
Or Rogue Opnion
Love is Patient


Looking for:

Not Looking for:

Open to the Idea:

Romance Statues:




Kaym'itan

Active Rp:,I Spy With My Eye, Ghosts of the Past,Jungle Darkness,New Life Will Soon Flourish
Day Out with Dad
Bro Time
Used for Breeding:

Night Balance[X]
Band of Brothers [X]
Open Ceremony [X]
Yes My Queen [X]
Pure Spirits[X]

Advice Happily Taken[X]
Rise and Shine at Sunset[X]
Delivery[X]
The First Songs[X]
The Jungle has its Dangers [X]

Trust In Me
This Lioness Must Also Choose Me

Finished Rp:
Advice Happily Taken
Open Ceremony
Night Balance
Band of Brothers
Pure Spirit
Rise and Shine at Sunset
Yes My Queen
Delivery
The First Songs
Trust in Me
The Jungle has its Dangers
This Lioness Must Also Choose Me


Looking for:

Not Looking for:

Open to the Idea:

Romance Statues:



Zamora

Active Rp: Little Pirate-lings,She is a Pirate
Kiss Kiss
What Do You Want?

Used for Breeding:
Trouble on the Horizon
MORE Trouble on the Horizon
Those Delightful Shinies

Finished RP:
Trouble on the Horizon
MORE Trouble on the Horizon
Those Delightful Shinies

Looking for:

Not Looking for:

Open to the Idea:

Romance Statues:


Aaliyah


Active RP
The Tree Ceremony


Finished RP
The Sky Clan
Give All to Love
Clear Sky
Wind of Change
The First Time

Used For Breeding
The Sky Clan [X]
Give All to Love[X]
Wind of Change[ X]
Clear Sky [ X ]
The First Time [X]

Looking For:
General RP
Plot
Not Looking For:
Mate
Death
Pride Offers
Flings
Open to the Idea

Romance Status
Mated


Siad

Active Rp:The Rain Has Come, Temple Morning, Anything May Be

Finished Rp:
Oh Brother!

Used for Breeding:
Oh Brother!

Looking for:

Not Looking for:

Open to the Idea:

Romance Statues:



Tam Linn

Active Rp:
Dark Thing Lurk


Used for Breeding:
Scent of Roses
When We Three Shall Meet Again

Finished Rp:
Scent of Roses
When We Three Shall Meet Again

Looking for:

Not Looking for:

Open to the Idea:

Romance Statues:




Rian

Active Rp:
The Language of Friendship

Finished Rp:

Used for Breeding:

Looking for:

Not Looking for:

Open to the Idea:

Romance Statues:




Luaith

Active Rp:
Let's Go on an Adventure!

Finished Rp:

Used for Breeding:

Looking for:

Not Looking for:

Open to the Idea:

Romance Statues:



Castiel

Active Rp:
Its the Bonds That Keep Us Strong

Used for Breeding:

Finished Rp:

Looking for:

Not Looking for:

Open to the Idea:

Romance Statues:



Eusi'chosi/ Erlendr in the Storm Born

Active Rp:
It Is the Traveler Only Who Is Foreign,Live the Next Few Moments Well,The Siren

Used for Breeding:
Reflections
There Are No Foreign Lands
When it Rains

Finished Rp:
Reflections
There Are No Foreign Lands
When it Rains

Looking for:

Not Looking for:

Open to the Idea:

Romance Statues:


Eva'raja

Active Rp:
You're the Home My Heart Searched For,In Dying We are Born,The Brightest Stars

Used for Breeding:
Come Back to Me
Finished Rp:
Come Back to Me

Looking for:

Not Looking for:

Open to the Idea:

Romance Statues:

Kibaasi and Alasiri: You Belong to Me - Jason Wade
Tam Linn: Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)-Manson
Zamora:Bad Reputation-Joan Jett
Kenan and Aaliyah :
Kaym and Ru:Don't Let Go Sarah Mclaclan/Brain Adams
Eva: All of this Past- Underworld
Eva and Silbah: Its You I Have Loved- Dana Glover

CONTEST ENTRY WHEN REHOMED FOR EVA:
How does Eva'raja feel about Sliabh being asked to sire children to return to the pride?
Eva has always been a strong lioness for the Pride, from her role as the Queen's sister to that of Master Healer. She saw her own mother take more then just her father to mate, and understands the practical need for it. After all, siring cubs is far more peaceful then cubnapping them. However, she is a passionate creature as well, and there are days that she wishes she could keep the stoic male to herself. Eva knows that her deep feelings for him are returned, but she misses her mate and the time they have not had together, but she stands by her sister's choices for him and the Pride and is proud that Sliabh has met his duty with his usual calm and stoic nature.

Does she have any doubts or fears when it comes to her future with Sliabh? Especially knowing he's out there fraternizing (for the good of the pride, of course!)...
What lioness wouldn't? Of course the doubts set in as the days pass and there are more miles between them then there are stars in the sky. Apart day after day and she is slowly going insane. She has pangs of jealousy knowing that other lionesses have known a side of him she hasn't yet. There are also the small jealousies, like just being able to sit with him and watch a sunset, or share a meal. Eva truly loves him, and while they have managed this time apart, stealing the moments they can for the few weeks they can be with one another, she longs for the day when she can wake up to him every morning, and fall asleep next to him every night.

How does she feel about Haruma, Faraa, and Ndale? They are cubs, and precious to Sliabh. Every life is important to the Pride, these three are important to her. They are a part of Sliabh that she may be close to, and being able to share embarrassing memories of him as a cub with his adopted children...what better way to tease him? Especially when he is not there to confirm or deny any of her stories.

Has her relationship with Nawiri'chiwa changed at all over the past few months?
There are days she wishes she could tie her sister down with some vines and MAKE her rest. Eva is torn sometimes between wanting them to be just Eva and Nawiri, sisters and friends and them having to be Queen and a Master Healer. As a royal she knows the Queen's work is never done, after all she was to have the job, but as a sister and Healer she knows that rest is needed. So sometimes she gets a little heavy pawed with Nawiri, but its all done out of love. If that's strained their relationship at all, Eva tries to make it up to her sister, but in all truth she loves her dearly and is worried sick about her. She also knows Nawiri is Queen, and must stand on her own four paws, but she still offers advice, an ear, a shoulder and always her love.

Describe a typical day for Eva'raja.
Up a little before sunrise to make the first round of the critically sick in her care. Then back to the den to check on Haruma, who she trusts to get her siblings going. Eats a quick meal with them, (usually her only full meal of the day) and back to the den where her patients are. More rounds, assessments, consultations with the apothecary, and more often then not with the Secret Keepers for those whom she could not save. If it is before mid afternoon when she gets all this done, she grabs a snack, if not she goes to see the other healers to compile the daily report she then takes to her sister. This allows her time with Nawiri that she uses not only to keep her informed of the Pride's sick, but to also fuss over her. If her sis has not eaten, she uses the excuse that she hasn't and sits down with her, though often she eats very little, spending more time listening to and supporting Nawiri. After the audience is over, its back to the healer's den to do late afternoon rounds. Once finished, she goes and makes her dencalls, checking on those patients whom she has not had to bring to her healer's den. Then it is to the apothecary to pick up the medicine for the next day. By now it is early evening. Eva attends any services she has to, standing beside her sister as the Secret Keepers lay that day's dead to rest. Evening rounds come next, and a final visit to her sister to be sure she doesn't need anything. If she does, then she stays and listens, helps, hold, cuddles or argues with her. If she is lucky she gets another meal. Before her final rounds she slips into her den to check on the cubs, listen to their day, help them with anything they need and tuck them in. Eva then goes to final rounds. Somewhere close to deep night (midnight) she returns to her den, manages a quick grooming, and passes out for the five hours before she has to be up again. ( Yes this is a residences, hospitalists, or any other ER medical persons life shudders at memories)(and yes passionate people usually overwork themselves >< )

Do you have any future plots or plans for Eva'raja down the road? She'd like a family, and wants to find an apprentice she relies on and pass on what she has learned. It would end up being a very close relationship, a mix of mother/child/mentor/student/ friend. It would also give her someone she can share her work day with and leave her a little more time for her mate and cubs. I think deep down, since she is so passionate, she wants to find a way to control the plague. Not kill it, she knows that will not happen, but a way to manage the pain and give those who have it a better quality of life...for that she would need her apprentice so they can work on the solution together, maybe along with an apothecary.
Are you interested in keeping her relationship with Sliabh? I would love for them to continue on as Mates.
Any additional comments, questions, concerns? None at the moment, if I have any I will PM the Pride Mule.
Prompt Response:
( I choose to write in the first person so you can see how her thoughts run and the emotions she feels. I hope this is ok to do)

It will be a long night, I think to myself as I place the back of my paw over young Ndale's forehead. He is burning up, yet it is far to soon to give him anymore feverfew. He is not an adult yet, for all he thinks he is, and another dose so close to the first could do more harm then good. If he weighed closer to a full grown male...I would consider it, but the disease has left him thin, far too thin. Pursing my lips, I take a deep breath, and tuck the edges of the spring buck pelt Sliabh brought home last time more closely around him.

Silabh...I close my eyes against the familiar ache thoughts of him bring, Where are you beloved? Ndale is so very sick. He needs you...I need you. The thought of having to give the young lion to the Secret Keepers without his calm and gentle nature beside me makes the pain in my chest tighten. I will have to buy him..us, and Ndale a little more time, somehow. Tomorrow I will go to the Master Apothecary, perhaps between the two of us, we may come up with something. I can hope.

Opening my eyes, I gaze down on Ndale, and gently push some of his new mane back out of his eyes, we may not have always gotten along and his crabby demeanor could be off putting at times, but he was still the child of my heart, as he was Sliabh's. Seeing him this way tore at the part of me that was simply Eva, and not a Master Healer or a Royal of a Pride cursed by such a sickness. I knew the worry showed on my face, but I was to worn to try and hide it behind my 'healer's mask'.

“ Eva, you need to rest,” a gentle, but insistent voice comes from behind me and I know its Janel. As fussy as I am with Nawiri, she is with me. For a moment I am irritated and almost tell her I will rest when I am damn good and ready to..but stop myself as a chuckle tries to escape. The irony, I wonder if Nawiri ever wants to say the same thing to me. Yes, I must be tired.. for I find that the trickle of amusement still tickling my throat, and I struggle not to let it slip past. Merely nodding, I turn toward her.

“ You are right Janel, will you please watch him for a little while?” I asked quietly, not wishing to wake the cubs. I've surprised her, her expressive golden eyes widening, the arguments she was going to present me with fading on her lips, for some reason I find this amusing also. Gods above, there is no [i'must be', I am tired. Tired of all the struggling, of all the death, of the hopelessness...and of being so very lonely. If it were not for Nawiri and the cubs I would have nothing more then my work. Was I always this way?I can't remember.

“Of course I will,” she answers back in her sweet voice, moving to his other side, careful not to wake Haruma and Faraa who are laying beside their brother like sentinels. Guarding him the only way siblings know how. I remember doing so with Nawiri, truth is, I still do sometimes. If Ndale succumbs to the illness, what will they do? Will they blame me for losing him? Will I blame myself? What good is a Master Healer if they can not save one cub just becoming a male?

“Eva, go..I will send Benti to get you if he gets worse.” I'd all but forgotten the little avian that usually was tucked up in the healer's bag she wore over her shoulder. “ Where will you be, so I can send him directly?”Janel asks as she settles herself down to watch the boy.

“ Beo's Bench,” I find myself answering automatically. It is high up, above the dens, a small meadow he often takes the cubs to. Though its not that that makes me answer such, no it is the view from there and its solace that does. You can see for endless miles, and tonight I want to see the horizon and the stars. They are as close to Silabh as I can be right now, at least we can share the same night sky and gaze up into the same stars. I don't let my thoughts take me to where he is...or with who. It is just one burden to many for me to bare as just me. Janel nods, and I take my leave.

The climb is easy if you are well, the trail a gentle incline, and it takes me only a few minutes to crest the top. My small effort is rewarded as my eyes drink in the sight. Its silent here, the sounds from below unable to reach. It becomes its own world, a peaceful place. Tonight I need that peace. Walking to the edge, I sit down and let my gaze wander.

I've never regretted anything in my life, not really. I've done my best at every task or duty given to me, and I have stayed beside my beloved sister, but now staring out across the night, I know I have one. I should have told Silabh how I felt long ago, I should not have waited. It was foolish of me, and a mistake. I'd always thought we'd have time. We both were not ill. I contented myself with seeing him daily around the Pride, told myself that I had to see my promise to my mother through, to care for my sister, to help her become a good Queen. I had to become a Master Healer, to help the Pride. I had to learn, to understand, I let all my other passions rule me, save for the one I should have.

Blinking back the wetness on my lashes, I swallowed past the pain in my heart. When Nawiri charged him with this duty, I knew I had run out of the endless time. I did the only thing I could think of, and I told him. Now..now there could be another, one he was with right now. A lioness who was not so driven, who did not have so much responsibility. A lioness who could just be herself, as I could not just be Eva. Please, do not let it be so...

Closing my eyes, I whisper to the wind, hoping the Gods have compassion and carry my prayers to him somehow.

“ I miss you so very much beloved. Please, come home. Ndale needs you, the girls need you....I need you. Please come home to us Silabh...come home to me.”