I Keep having the same dreams

[pompoennetje]

XxLuinxX

Sanguina Cruenta

Dianda Panda

Sanguina Cruenta

What Would Freud Say?

I googled that.

I mean it's obvious to me now what those dreams mean. I'm afraid to lose him. But even though I think I know the reason they keep coming back.

Actually I was thinking about it and Freud would probably say it's a reflection of a childhood fear you haven't dealt with. Like you were abandoned by your father or whatever while in the midst of an Elektra complex.

The general rule with Freud is that it's total arse and completely different to what a sane person might interpret it as. I mean, your boyfriend symbolises the part of you that longs to be free or some crap like that.

I've watched enough Frasier to know that if you keep having the dreams, you haven't cracked the code yet. It's apparently your subconscious expressing something you won't let yourself express whilst awake. So once you know what it is, you can think your way through it and express it, and so emotionally deal with it and the dream should no longer bother you.

For more information, watch Frasier, particularly the one where he has a recurring dream about sleeping with Gil Chesterton.

I'm just gonna step in here...
Freud didn't believe in Electra complexes (that was added by people who subscribed to his beliefs). He pretty much figured all girls wanted, for whatever reason (childhood, usually) was p***s.

So obviously the dream really means you would miss his p***s, not him.
Because he has a p***s. And that you should take cocaine for this problem, as he subscribed it to most of his patients.

That's my official diagnosis. p***s. And Cocaine.

Dianda Panda

Not that I know. I don't have secrets from him, and he doesn't gives me the feeling he's hiding something from me.

Or that. That could be it.

Guys, I don't miss his p***s. Or something. Oh god, never mind.
Was Freud gay? gonk

That I don't have secrets for him, and that he doesn't gives me the feeling he's hiding something for me?  

[TheAnneh]

Dianda Panda

Guys, I don't miss his p***s. Or something. Oh god, never mind.
Was Freud gay? gonk

That I don't have secrets for him, and that he doesn't gives me the feeling he's hiding something for me?

No, but he was in a sexual relationship with his daughter! : D

With a significant other you should not keep secrets.
If he is keeping secrets from you. or you think he might be, you need to talk to him about it. It's very possible that your dreams are because of this, that whatever you think he might be hiding might force a wedge between you and cause you to loose him.
Also, if there's anything you're keeping from him you should tell him that too. I think it would be in your best interest. Don't tell me you tell him everything, because you haven't told him about your reoccurring dreams and those are obviously important.  

[pompoennetje]

XxLuinxX

Dianda Panda

Guys, I don't miss his p***s. Or something. Oh god, never mind.
Was Freud gay? gonk

That I don't have secrets for him, and that he doesn't gives me the feeling he's hiding something for me?

No, but he was in a sexual relationship with his daughter! : D

With a significant other you should not keep secrets.
If he is keeping secrets from you. or you think he might be, you need to talk to him about it. It's very possible that your dreams are because of this, that whatever you think he might be hiding might force a wedge between you and cause you to loose him.
Also, if there's anything you're keeping from him you should tell him that too. I think it would be in your best interest. Don't tell me you tell him everything, because you haven't told him about your reoccurring dreams and those are obviously important.

Yea ok, beside those dreams.

Uh, I don't know. Things I never told him about is more stuff about my ex. Nor do I know things about his ex. That was something that was bother me a while back. I remember him saying something about an ex of him. Where he used to be with for a few years (or something vague like that I don't really clearly remember). But when I ask about it now (I almost dragged it out of him). He said he never had a girlfriend before, only when he was like 12 years old or something.

But on the other side I'm like "Whatever, he doesn't know s**t about my ex either".  

[TheAnneh]

Dianda Panda

XxLuinxX

Dianda Panda

Guys, I don't miss his p***s. Or something. Oh god, never mind.
Was Freud gay? gonk

That I don't have secrets for him, and that he doesn't gives me the feeling he's hiding something for me?

No, but he was in a sexual relationship with his daughter! : D

With a significant other you should not keep secrets.
If he is keeping secrets from you. or you think he might be, you need to talk to him about it. It's very possible that your dreams are because of this, that whatever you think he might be hiding might force a wedge between you and cause you to loose him.
Also, if there's anything you're keeping from him you should tell him that too. I think it would be in your best interest. Don't tell me you tell him everything, because you haven't told him about your reoccurring dreams and those are obviously important.

Yea ok, beside those dreams.

Uh, I don't know. Things I never told him about is more stuff about my ex. Nor do I know things about his ex. That was something that was bother me a while back. I remember him saying something about an ex of him. Where he used to be with for a few years (or something vague like that I don't really clearly remember). But when I ask about it now (I almost dragged it out of him). He said he never had a girlfriend before, only when he was like 12 years old or something.

But on the other side I'm like "Whatever, he doesn't know s**t about my ex either".

You should talk to him about the dream, about the fact that you're worried he's keeping things from you, and you should definitely tell him what you're keeping from him.

I'm probably the biggest proponent of honesty in relationships. The biggest fights I've had with my boyfriend were because one of us kept something from the other. Since then we've shared absolutely everything we could think of, and if we think of something new we say it, and we've never been more sickeningly in love. C:

So, if that helps any.  

[pompoennetje]

XxLuinxX

Dianda Panda

XxLuinxX

Dianda Panda

Guys, I don't miss his p***s. Or something. Oh god, never mind.
Was Freud gay? gonk

That I don't have secrets for him, and that he doesn't gives me the feeling he's hiding something for me?

No, but he was in a sexual relationship with his daughter! : D

With a significant other you should not keep secrets.
If he is keeping secrets from you. or you think he might be, you need to talk to him about it. It's very possible that your dreams are because of this, that whatever you think he might be hiding might force a wedge between you and cause you to loose him.
Also, if there's anything you're keeping from him you should tell him that too. I think it would be in your best interest. Don't tell me you tell him everything, because you haven't told him about your reoccurring dreams and those are obviously important.

Yea ok, beside those dreams.

Uh, I don't know. Things I never told him about is more stuff about my ex. Nor do I know things about his ex. That was something that was bother me a while back. I remember him saying something about an ex of him. Where he used to be with for a few years (or something vague like that I don't really clearly remember). But when I ask about it now (I almost dragged it out of him). He said he never had a girlfriend before, only when he was like 12 years old or something.

But on the other side I'm like "Whatever, he doesn't know s**t about my ex either".

You should talk to him about the dream, about the fact that you're worried he's keeping things from you, and you should definitely tell him what you're keeping from him.

I'm probably the biggest proponent of honesty in relationships. The biggest fights I've had with my boyfriend were because one of us kept something from the other. Since then we've shared absolutely everything we could think of, and if we think of something new we say it, and we've never been more sickeningly in love. C:

So, if that helps any.

To me those things are just small things. But I see where you're going.

I'll go talk to him soon.
We're both busy persons. . _ .  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

I don't think telling him about past boyfriends is important neutral In fact, bringing up totally irrelevant s**t may stir things up and make trouble for you. Honestly in a relationship doesn't mean telling someone your life story. You're allowed to have some privacy. Partners who demand to know everything about you are scary.  

[pompoennetje]

Sanguina Cruenta

I don't think telling him about past boyfriends is important neutral In fact, bringing up totally irrelevant s**t may stir things up and make trouble for you. Honestly in a relationship doesn't mean telling someone your life story. You're allowed to have some privacy. Partners who demand to know everything about you are scary.

I only have one past boyfriend. He's a jerk. Nothing important to tell about that guy. lol  

[TheAnneh]

Sanguina Cruenta

I don't think telling him about past boyfriends is important neutral In fact, bringing up totally irrelevant s**t may stir things up and make trouble for you. Honestly in a relationship doesn't mean telling someone your life story. You're allowed to have some privacy. Partners who demand to know everything about you are scary.

I fancy myself pretty mundane.

There's always something there that could be important. Especially, I should note, if there is some skeleton that could come back and cause damage later. Things can be used against you, tension can and will arise from secrets. Your partner, if you're serious about them, should be the one person you can and should be able to reveal everything to.

Am I saying tell them everything on the first date? No. That would be scary. I think real trust and real honesty in the foundation for a trusting relationship and if you both want to be together for the long term -- your lives, even -- the past is something that should be known. Not dwelt upon, not constantly brought up. Just known.

But, I guess that just makes me scary.  

[oOGarrettOo]

I agree with San. Not everything needs to be shared. There are some things one might wish to keep to themselves, and there's nothing wrong with that. If one's S/O becomes discontent with not knowing every little haunting detail, then perhaps said S/O isn't, in fact, meant to be such.

Personally, there are many demons in my past that I wouldn't share with a significant other. To be honest, I don't share them with anyone, so I don't see how a person I would be in a relationship with would need to know them any more than the next person. Ditto, they probably have things they don't want to share either. And I'm fine with that.

But I have a very forward-thinking view on relationships, so perhaps I'm not the best example.  

[TheAnneh]

oOGarrettOo

I agree with San. Not everything needs to be shared. There are some things one might wish to keep to themselves, and there's nothing wrong with that. If one's S/O becomes discontent with not knowing every little haunting detail, then perhaps said S/O isn't, in fact, meant to be such.

Personally, there are many demons in my past that I wouldn't share with a significant other. To be honest, I don't share them with anyone, so I don't see how a person I would be in a relationship with would need to know them any more than the next person. Ditto, they probably have things they don't want to share either. And I'm fine with that.

But I have a very forward-thinking view on relationships, so perhaps I'm not the best example.

I hardly feel that this is forward thinking. In fact, I feel as though this would come to bite one in the a**.

I have hideous demons in my past. Ones that are painful and difficult to share. And I shared them, with my Significant Other for the better, and he did with me. Therefore, when these things come up for other reasons, which they have for both of us, we have been able to tackle them.

But I mean, I've only been in a long term, loving relationship.

What do I know.  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

XxLuinxX

But, I guess that just makes me scary.

Yes. Yes it does.  

[TheAnneh]

Sanguina Cruenta

XxLuinxX

But, I guess that just makes me scary.

Yes. Yes it does.

Just because I want to be open with my partner, and I expect the same in return?  

[oOGarrettOo]

XxLuinxX

I hardly feel that this is forward thinking. In fact, I feel as though this would come to bite one in the a**.

I have hideous demons in my past. Ones that are painful and difficult to share. And I shared them, with my Significant Other for the better, and he did with me. Therefore, when these things come up for other reasons, which they have for both of us, we have been able to tackle them.

But I mean, I've only been in a long term, loving relationship.

What do I know.

Oh, but of course. How foolish of me. Obviously, since you're so perfect in your perfect world, you'd absolutely know what's best for everyone and their relationship ventures. Tsk, how could I possibly think that maybe the individual would know what's best for their situation, when obviously you know what's best for them because you've managed to have a single, successful relationship.

Let's forget that people aren't cookies cutters, shall we? Oh, but that would be inconvenient. Of course, your way is the best way, because you've done so well. Bully on me for having my own venues. They should be just like yours. I've seen the light, the error of my ways. Thank you for reminding me of the rainbows and the butterflies, I seem to have completely forgotten them in favor of my personal ideas.

What a fool I've been for loving someone so completely not the way you would do it.  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

XxLuinxX

Sanguina Cruenta

XxLuinxX

But, I guess that just makes me scary.

Yes. Yes it does.

Just because I want to be open with my partner, and I expect the same in return?

You can be totally open without ever having to tell them anything, you know. If they ask, answer. If they don't, what does it matter? Do you really care what they did ten years ago? Would it be a deal-breaker if they wouldn't tell you, or if it turned out they'd been a different person than the person they are now?

Needing to know everything about your partner shows a distinct lack of trust and respect. Imo, that's an unhealthy relationship. But not all relationships are alike. I wouldn't stay in one if I couldn't trust my partner to love me for who I was, and to not read my diary. And I wouldn't stay in one if I had to tell them everything.

Telling other people they need to tell their partners everything is ridiculous. You don't know anything about how their relationships work. Like I said, that sort of thing could be poison to some people.  

[TheAnneh]

oOGarrettOo

XxLuinxX

I hardly feel that this is forward thinking. In fact, I feel as though this would come to bite one in the a**.

I have hideous demons in my past. Ones that are painful and difficult to share. And I shared them, with my Significant Other for the better, and he did with me. Therefore, when these things come up for other reasons, which they have for both of us, we have been able to tackle them.

But I mean, I've only been in a long term, loving relationship.

What do I know.

Oh, but of course. How foolish of me. Obviously, since you're so perfect in your perfect world, you'd absolutely know what's best for everyone and their relationship ventures. Tsk, how could I possibly think that maybe the individual would know what's best for their situation, when obviously you know what's best for them because you've managed to have a single, successful relationship.

Let's forget that people aren't cookies cutters, shall we? Oh, but that would be inconvenient. Of course, your way is the best way, because you've done so well. Bully on me for having my own venues. They should be just like yours. I've seen the light, the error of my ways. Thank you for reminding me of the rainbows and the butterflies, I seem to have completely forgotten them in favor of my personal ideas.

What a fool I've been for loving someone so completely not the way you would do it.

Look, I don't want to be insulted.
I've had many relationships. Some very long, some very short.
I've seen many relationships.

Honesty has ALMOST ALWAYS been what has torn relationships apart, not only in my own but in the ones I've seen. I don't like to be called "scary" or have my views implied as "backward thinking." It is just plain rude.

DID I SAY anything about rainbows and butterflies? No. DID I SAY everything was easy? No. I'm so glad you think my experiences are only from observations of myself, and of one relationship. Maybe your "forward thinking" works for you, have fun with your relationships.

IN THIS TOPIC, the lovely Dianda Panda has brought up the fact that she believes her boyfriend is keeping something from her. My suggestion for her was to ask him for honesty, and give him honesty in return. Because you cannot expect honesty one-way.

God, I joined this guild because I thought members were kind and open to discussion. But I find myself insulted. I am sorry if my views offend or "scare" any of you. But I thought Wiccans as a whole would be a much more open minded group. I was wrong.