[PRP] Important Business [Zar x Hollandaise]

[Baneful]

Holly got a long look from Zar. "You should be glad it doesn't seem dangerous." he said. "Because it takes a lot of effort to keep it that way." It hadn't used to, but these days it was so hard to keep himself from thoughts about harming others or worse. Even people he cared about were not exempt from it, but he coped because if there was something he was good at, it was coping.

He listened to what the ghoul had to say with that same keen attentiveness, trying to ignore the way the contact on his skin felt, supremely sensitive to contact with every tap on the bring of being unbearable. He did not count shadows himself, though he still found himself counting trivialities, the number of tiles on a ceiling, the number of lines on a page. Once upon a time it had mattered and he could have been asked questions on it at any moment. The mention of a hound made something old and healed stir in him and he closed his eyes, but still listened.

"You think I have never had problems? You think I couldn't possibly have problems?" he smiled, seeming to find this amusing and flattering.

"Demons do not love." he said, as if imitating a voice he'd head a hundred, a thousand times. "And yet I thought I did once. I was wrong, but it did not change the hurt it caused and the harm it did. Nuru was a hound himself, and no matter what I did or where I went, he was there, always smiling and always ready for some great adventure or other. He doted on no one else and wanted nothing so much as my attention. And yet it is in my nature to destroy, bound up in the very coils of who I am. He trusted me and therefore, as if it was a weakness, I destroyed him. And sometimes, I knew what I was doing, it didn't stop me. I drained all that he was until, thinking I was sick, he sought a way to cure me and was weaponized." The faintest smile crossed Zar's features, but it was not humorous.

"To realise I had that capacity in me was crushing and I almost gave up, I ran, I used pain to escape, ripped off my own wings even because I did not deserve them, any number of things. I had problems. I even turned to Insanity, and to the hunters, almost weaponized in my efforts to deny my own nature."

He shrugged. "But I moved on, I accepted that I was in so few words, a jackup, I ruin everything in my own life and that is simply how I am, what I do. I am a destroyer, and some part of me enjoys it. Yet there are creeple willing to deal with those facets of me, to consistently prod the beast, so to speak. There are always creeple for everyone, no one remains alone for ever, and nor shall you. That ghoul should embrace the claw marks and embrace the shadows because they are paving stones along the way, school is about finding out who you are, what you are. It is not supposed to be all sweetness and light, it will either forge you or destroy you."

Tracing a razor sharp claw across her foliage harmlessly he added. "And it is entirely up to you which one it does."

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

When Zar spoke of ripping his wings away, her mouth dipped into a frown and she reached back to trail her fingers along that wing that still stretched around her. That was perhaps the most comforting, that it grew back, that his damage rectified itself. Hollandaise did not know about hunters or weaponizatioon and instead simply watched his face as he spoke, a sort of sleepy examination. If only creeple were as easy to read as trees. "You have always seemed confident, arrogant," she whispered quietly. And it was hard for her to imagine that maybe once Zar had felt like she felt now - that he had ruined others perhaps more surely than she had. It was not necessarily a happy thought, but neutral, something to be filed away and picked at later.

She shivered delicately as his claw skimmed along her leaves, but refused to give into the urge to move away. The giddy high of the lotus was fading, she knew, but the sleepy relaxation was there, the looseness of her manner, the gentle certainty that she could come to no harm. It would be nice to feel like this more often, Hollandaise thought. Her hand stilled on his arm and then she pinched him, as hard as she could, before smoothing her palm across that small hurt.

"Demons do not love," she repeated. "Isn't that a sad outlook? How do you know you cannot love - Zar, there are more types of love than can be counted. Perhaps everything you think you have destroyed you loved - just a little." Hollandaise hummed for a moment. Warders did not typically love romantically, or feel very deeply at all, but there was a pallid sort of friendship, a familial type of love, she supposed. There was a poem in her book that she thought suited him somewhat, although she had often thought it of herself.

]You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and—
Just tired.
So am I.

She wondered if he appreciated poetry. A grumbling noise rose in her through, but she did not recite poetry at him. Hollandaise yawned again, the sound creaking. If she thought hard enough, she could convince herself that this was some fever dream - for why would she feel compelled to speak to him? "The claw marks tell me to 'sleep tight' - it is not possible to embrace them. I know who I need to be and it is not who I am. I must be forged into the correct Warder, or there is no point. And if I do not succeed, then there has been no point all along. But I am certain I will fail though I cannot help but try. Warders are not as I am, we are sleep-soft, growing-slow trees. I am sure you do ruin everything. You have friends, Zar."

Baneful

 

[Baneful]

"Then I am a very good actor." he said conspiratorially. "You have to learn to appear confident to get by, when people think that you are weak, they will take advantage of you accordingly or, should you appear too weak they may consider you below their attention and abandon you." People had abandoned him, not able to comprehend what was wrong with him or why he was so bitter about everything. "I am not going anywhere though, no matter how sad or insecure you get, so don't think that is some kind of easy way out of me pointing out all your ridiculous statements."

He smirked at her before yelping at being pinched. He generally enjoyed pain, but when it took him by surprise he was not so keen. Sticking out his lower lip dramatically, he let her run her palm across it, looking grieved the entire time.

"It is not sad at all, it is a simple fact. I did not love those things, I simply wanted them. I wanted them so entirely that I destroyed them, the same way I will ultimately destroy my food when I eat it. I do not love my food. I simply consume, it is in my nature. I did think I loved Nuru, but it was more a familiarity and ease. I was used to having someone to hang on my words, to scold me, the simple trivialities of having a "friend." It was standing in the way ultimately of me finding myself, defining myself by my own terms rather than someone else.

She got another strange sort of look. "Why? Why must you be forged into the correct warder? Not all trees are the same, they come in every possible shape and size, if they didn't they would have died out ages ago, its the ones that do new things that survive the disasters, the ones that change the rules. Its like anything. Just because you have to go slow doesn't mean you can't go in any direction you can imagine. You have fire in your belly, you wouldn't argue half as jacking much if you didn't."

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"Oh no," she sighed creakily and dramatically. "You mean you will stick to me worse than a barnacle? I will never be rid of you - like some evil haunt sent to torment me for my misdeeds. If you will not abandon me for my weakness, does that mean you would try to take advantage of it?" She snorted and waggled her eyebrows comically. "As if you could take advantage of me. Hmm. And I refuse to believe that your arrogance is simply an act when you wear it as though it were a second skin." She knew that he was bigger than her, that he had beaten her soundly (and without mercy, the brat) in their spar, but she remained unfased by him. Hollandaise could always pull the older-than-you card or something. Plus, his pout made him rather hard to take seriously. Hollandaise giggled.

"I do not believe for one moment that you do not love. It has nothing to do with dependency and everything to do with appreciation and need. And friends are not trivial. You certainly collect followers like a garden collects slugs." Wrinking her nose, she reached up to poke one of his horns. A horny garden. a bemused smile flitted across her face. "You are full of it. Love is not something to be feared, although it can be frightening and loud and uncomfortable. I guess. I don't know that I've really experienced it. Alas." Hollandaise gave a gusty sigh.

She returned his look with one of her own, narrowed eyes and all. "I do not argue, merely voice my opinions in a strident manner. You argue." She clicked her tongue and looped her hands around his arm, resting her head on his shoulder. "Warders are one way or no other. Hmph. And if I do not take care with myself, I will be without anywhere at all to return to." Her lips twisted. That was never a thought she liked thinking about, although it skulked in the quiet spaces of her mind always.

"I am not made to live alone, Zar."

Banefull

 

[Baneful]

"Yes." he said, closing his eyes briefly. "Worse than any barnacle you have ever seen." As she went on to ask if he would take advantage of it, his smile became faintly predatory again, pulling up beyond the normal bounds of a conventional humanoid smile, all fangs. "Well I cannot deny that taking advantage of things is in my nature. Given what I am. But I did not take advantage of you now despite my inclinations to the contrary."

"But I do assure you that love." and every time he said it, he seemed to cringe as if saying a horrible and painful word. "Is not something I experience in the same way other creatures do. I am not afraid of it. It is simply not for me. One day you likely will. I would be surprised you do not already, don't you love trees, for instance?"

"And you argue. You argue all the time. It is one of your most significant traits And one of your best, if I do say so myself." Once again his tail had snuck free but this time seemed more affectionate than dangerous, curling around what it could reach of her.

"I admit I don't understand entirely what warders do." he said. "But it seems to me like you could find your own forest, find your own place? Making your own way does not mean you have to do it alone. I don't understand." He frowned again. "In fact. Tell me. I want to know what warders do."
 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"I adore trees and plants and all manner of flora, Zar. But it is not the same as loving creeple. Are you saying you do not love plants? There are things you love, perhaps even adore." Hollandaise lifted her head momentarily to look at him. The idea of someone not loving or, at very least, liking plants was unthinkable. They were slow, sleepy creatures, excepting some breeds of flowers. Daffodils were entirely too excitable - it was like being bombarded by very loud music. She opened her mouth to say that no, she did not argue, thank you very much, but his tail was moving. Hollandaise bit back a giggle and squirmed.

"Ah, it tickles!" Hollandaise was unfortunately ticklish everywhere, and no matter how hard she tried to keep a straight face, giggles shuddered through her. Her thin, impatient fingers plucked at his tail, settling it around her waist. she sighed once it was mostly in place, feeling very warm. It was not so very bad to lean against Zar, she thought. (Later, she would be absolutely astonished by the thought, but now was different.) "Warders," she began, and her fingers started that tap tap tapping along his skin again.

"We keep humans out of forests, protect the forest by scaring them. Warders are insular creatures - many never venture very far outside their forests here or their human world equivalents. It is like a large family, we have our Elders and everyone else. There is Gryfdinhachi'nyr'thindor, he made my white dress, the one I wore to the d-dance." The fondness in her voice dipped, coloring with regret. The dance was not a happy memory. Hollandaise breathed in sharply. "New Warders are rarely made, I am the youngest in a very long time." The youngest, and the most lacking. She sighed and turned her face into his shoulder, her voice muffled by robe and skin.

"And if I lived in my own forest, what would I do? If I found an unoccupied forest - because Warders do not accept outsiders- what then? I would be alone, Zar. Should the Elders deem me unworthy, there is no other Warder that would follow me into exile. I cannot do it. The silence is too much, even if I were surrounded by trees. There is no one else to be with me." Her voice grew smaller by the second, and something desolate crept in.

Baneful

 

[Baneful]

"I do not love plants." he confirmed with a nod. "I mean, I don't love anything but even on that relative scale of things I do not love plants fall very very low. I enjoy some things but that is as far as it goes. I suppose if I had to chose one thing that flies close to the sun metaphorically on the love question, I would of course have to say sex. It is my nature, it is what I am, perhaps I could concede that I love it."

He eyed his tail exasperatedly as it harassed her, having to deal with the sensations as it got settled in, around her and shivering physically every time that she tapped her fingers on his skin.

"You have to remember that you just got here" Zar said consolingly, rubbing Holly's back with surprising gentleness. "I was at school over two years before I so much as found a friend. Never say never and never ever say no one. The worst thing you can do is always look at the negatives, at the things that will never be or could never work. Sometimes you need to take risks and believe in yourself. You might be a complete pain in my rear." and at this he smirked toothily, all the way to his ears. "But you are far from the most unagreeable or for that matter unattractive person I've met."

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

The warder had rolled her eyes wildly at his profession that he did not love plants. Everyone could and should love plants, she firmly believed. But she let his comments slide on a small sigh, glancing over at poor, poor p***k. The cactus looked so lonely on the windowsill. Zar needed more plants. More.

His hands on her back were warms and she melted into him. "It is in coming here that I am deemed unfit. And even should I find friends here, or simply trail after you like a can on a string, it will not be the same. They wiill not be warders." Hollandaise's brows drew together. Something he had said, his altogether too toothy smile...

"Zar," she said, incredulity flooding her voice. "-are you flirting with me?" He had been sop nice, comforting, even, but how could she have expected anything less? And while it was wildly flattering that he did not think her unattractive (after all, everyone likes being told they are pretty), it was startling. And it wasn't as though she believed his silvered tongue anyway. Hollandaise had noticed his shivers, those lovely involuntary shudders that twitched through him. Her fingernails scrapped lightly at his skin and she pinched his tail - not hard, like before, but just enough so that he would feel it.

Baneful

 

[Baneful]

"Does it matter if they aren't warders? I mean I was a bit racist when I came here but I learned the hard way you don't need to be around other creeple who are the same as you to fit in." He was about to expand on it more when she asked him if he was flirting with her. He hadn't even realized that he very well might have been.

"Erm." he said. "Maybe I wa-OUCH." he hissed through his teeth, his entire tail flinching and recoiling at the pinch. It had not really hurt, but everything on his tail was heightened. The fingernails felt delightful, it was their follow up that was the problem.

"What in Halloween wassss that for?" he said, rubbing the spot where he'd just been pinched. "I can't help flirting. I am an Incubus. I am always in that sort of mood."

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"Oh-" She squeaked out as his tail flinched around. "I did not think you were so sensitive." Her voiced sounded surprised and a giggle caught in her throat, but not terribly contrite. It was, after all, Zar. And he was big and strong enough to handle a pinch. Hollandaise let out a puff of air. She did not apologize, although she tried to brush his hand away so she could rub at the small spot she'd left on his skin.

For a moment, she tried to imagine herself living with creeple other than Warders... everything would be faster, at least, but it would be nothing like what she had in the cool forests of her home. "I have lived with warders all my life - we live in... clans, I guess. Or a herd, if you prefer that term. It is not something you see made of other creeple ever. And I do not dislike anyone here... you, of course, are the exception." And undead. A shudder ran through her. Hollandaise was working on that, but the thought of half-rotted bodies still upright gave her the heebie-jeebies even now. It was hard to undo years and years of prejudice, but she was trying.

"Someday," she said, mockingly scolding. "-you are going to make someone very unhappy that you are flirting with everyone and not them. Luckily for you, I am wholly immune." That was not entirely true - Hollandaise doubted anyone was entirely immune and she was feeling sad enough that being called 'not unattractive' made her blush just a bit. She harumphed. As she spoke, Hollandaise tried to surreptitiously dance her fingers along his skin. If he was so sensitive to pinches and the like, maybe he was ticklish too. It would be payday - she did not now what for, but surely he'd done something to warrant it.

Baneful

 

[Baneful]

"I am almost painfully sensitive." he said with a grim look. "It comes with being phenomenally talented in bed, one has to be able to feel everything that is going on at all times. Part of the deal." Her rubbing his tail very very quickly became enormously distracting and wherever she rubbed, a strange slippery sort of slime appeared apparently on instinct.

He shrugged, "In the end it comes down to you, maybe one day you'll be able to say you could go it alone. You can't know until you get there. I wouldn't worry about it all the time, look forward, not always behind you at the people judging you."

That smirk returned. "Oh I think I already am making people unhappy with it." Calder for a start, he thought, though his lack of flirting with the boil was not because he didn't want to so much as he felt it pointless, he was so oblivious so much of the time. "I mostly flirt with people I can't stand or who at least are able to put up a fight." Another shiver at the contact and his tail twitched as if to withdraw but instead simply tightened its grip.

"I don't know that you are immune though." he crooned. "Surely even warders can feel flattered."

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"Phenomenally?" This time Hollandaise couldn't stop the peal of giggles that ran through her. They left her breathless and gasping heavily against Zar's side. She murmured out an insincere apology, snorting inelegantly. She did frown at him making creeple mad by flirting.

"You-" she poked him in the shoulder, voice still breathy after having laughed so thoroughly. "-should not flirt with us whom you hate. Hmph. You could end up with a dozen creeple trailing after you, hearts in their eyes and you would dislike them all. Go flirt with someone you adore! Or find attractive!" Belatedly, she realized her hands were slimy. Aside from the poke, she hads kept up her gentle rubs and light trailings of her nails. Hollandaise like the rhythmic motions. Squinting at the slime, she began to rub more of his tail, testing to see if more would spontaneously appear. As she worked, she spoke, not lifting her head.

"Oh, I am, not immune to flattery, just you, Zar. Because I already know you do not mean it. A sincere gentle flattery is worth more than your dulcet tones." Hollandaise inhaled sharply and rubbed her be-slimed fingers together. This was fascinating.

Baneful

 

[Baneful]

"Phenomenally." he repeated solemnly, completely ignoring her giggles, he might have been insecure about his worth as an Incubus, but if he could rely on one fact it was that his species meant that he was good in bed, just as a flame demon could say they could summon fire he could say that.

He shrugged. "What is wrong with being loved by those who also hate you? I consider that more of a victory than simply seducing someone that I would like." Anywhere she rubbed his tail the same slime surfaced as if summoned and Zar continued the sporadic shivers and twitches that accompanied it as he tried not to pay attention.

"Oh come now. You don't know I don't mean it. You just want to think that I don't."

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"I do know. As if Zar, great incubus extraordinaire, would hand out real compliments like party favors. Compliments and flattery pave the way for a demon's success I'm told. Flatter the right creeple - do well. Or something." She patted his tail absently, enjoying the way he twitched and squirmed. It made her feel just a little bit in control of something, or anything in her life at all. "So I just take your words as the lies they most likely are." Her voice took on a light sing-song quality as she raked her nails down his tail, feeling the slime collect oddly under the pads of her fingers. She licked at one finger quickly, and found the taste to be.. normal-ish, Zar-like. And hopefully not poison.

"I thought you said you needed work on your skills as an incubus." She hmphed and muttered 'phenomenally' again. "Is this slime coming from you? What is it? Why? Is it really edible?" She didn't really mind the slime. After all, she'd already been thoroughly slimed once before today. Hollandaise wriggled her fingers between her torso and his tail. If she could get it to loosen, she could bite it - and she had promised.

Baneful

 

[Baneful]

"True perhaps. But you assume you have anything I want. What would I have to gain from buttering you up? Nothing at all but you feeling a bit better, which I don't really want. I prefer you crotchety and miserable. Deal with it, they are simply facts."

He was about to say more when he spotted her licking her finger and stared at her in scandalized horror. What was it with people and licking the slime. He had no idea what to even say, he hadn't noticed it had come back and was deeply mortified that it had. "Noooo. Don't eat it." he said covering his face with both sets of claws.

"It is for lubrication. And yes it comes from me. And yes it is SOMEWHAT EDIBLE. I suppose. Don't just don't." and the black markings stood out starkly on his cheeks as he blushed deeply.