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 Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 10:17 am
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Rylan turned the key in the lock and swung the door open. "Honey, I'm ho-ome," he called out into the relative darkness of the house. There was a click-click of claws and then Cafall's serious, inquisitive form loomed out of the shadows of the furniture to study them with quiet dispassion.
Fidget bounded into the house, almost bowling his furry sibling over in an enthusiastic greeting, before making his way over to giant pillow bed by the back door, quite oblivious to the events that were poised to take place.
Footsteps came down the stairs. Cas appeared in gym shorts, one hand drying off his hair with the towel slung over one shoulder. "Oh, good, I was about to send out a search party," he joked, and then, seeing Jo, added with a grin, "To what do we owe this pleasure?"
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 11:15 am
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"Hey, baby," she murmured to the large dog, trying to put some measure of calm back in her life (as limited and near impossible as it was). For a moment, Jo had the irrational hope that Cas wasn't home, so they wouldn't have to do this at all -- but quick on the heels was it was her more typical thought process: tackle it now, not later. She didn't want to live in this limbo of 'what the ********' any longer than she had to.
Her eyes turned as soon as she heard the footsteps, and despite her own trepidation, she shifted beyond Rylan and extended her empty hand to Cas. "You owe me everything, that's how this works," she teased, even managing a smile as she put her hand on his chest and stood up on tip toe to kiss his cheek. Would the baby grow to be tall like them -- ?
Jo almost physically winced, and with a smaller smile, she motioned towards the living room. "I'm here for you, you big lug. Sit with me a sec?" She was able to at least put out the idea of calm and control -- thanks to Rylan allowing her to have her panic attack at him, first. She wasn't okay with any of it by any stretch of the imagination, but she had a little more presence of mind to deal with the one she needed to the most.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 9:03 pm
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Rylan let Jo greet his friend in silence, then, sneaking a quick pat to Cafall's head, slid past them. He nodded his wish for good luck to Jo, adding, "I'll be the shower, if you all need me. But... wait till I'm out of the shower." He was gone before Cas had a chance to shoot something back.
Jo's words, though, were enough to put Cas on alert. "Okay," he said as he returned her kiss, a little cautious, looking at her carefully much the way Cafall tended to regard other people. He could see the tension in the way she held herself, the stiff way in which she walked toward the living room. It felt as if she was holding something within herself, something he didn't yet know.
He wasn't convinced he'd like where this was going, though he couldn't quite tell where that was. She wasn't breaking things off, that much he had figured out.
Cas followed her to the couch and gestured to the seats before them, waited until she had sat before he sank down beside her. "What's going on?"
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 4:55 pm
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No promises was on the tip of her tongue, but she let it pass, instead curling her arms with one of Cas' and leading him t othe room. Once they were seated, she sighed heavily, the weight very real and very suffocating in the moment, busying herself with gliding her hands over one of his. Jo took a deep breath, glancing up to him, and it all played out over her face -- things she wanted to say, took back, and the slow realization that she couldn't say anything without coloring Cas' reaction. She had to just lay it straight and let him take it as he pleased.
Gently squeezing his hand, she managed a small, tight smile. "I'm pregnant, Cas." Like with Rylan, she wasn't pulling the punches, but unlike with him, it wasn't blurted. The words were to the point and honest. "It's yours."
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Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 7:22 pm
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This was one of those moments that Cas had spent a lifetime dreading, wondering when it would happen to him - if ever - and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't considered before how he would react to news like this.
The words "I'm pregnant" and "it's yours." Four little words, strung together to bring an entirely new sense of clarity to the world. It hit him about as hard as he'd always thought it would, in the paralyzing way that he imagined a lightning strike might feel.
"Ah," he said with a weak laugh, one hand lifting to run down the back of his head. There were a dozen other things he might have said - was this real? Was she sure? It couldn't be anything else? This was the oh-crap moment he'd known, somewhere at the back of his consciousness, would hit him one day. And what did he have to say to it? "I was really hoping it wasn't, 'You gave me an STD, you a*****e,' so... hey. Cheers to that."
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Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 7:43 pm
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She watched him carefully, and when he responded -- well, quite frankly, a lot better than she or Rylan had -- Jo couldn't help but laugh, lifting one of her own hands to gently push his face. "Your wish is my command." She was trying - god she was trying to be okay, to be adult and mature, even as every inch of her was screaming for a resolution. She really liked this guy, and what was happening was going to change things, no matter what route they went. Which brought up the obvious task of changing the topic back to serious...
Swallowing with some difficulty, her eyes lowered to the hand she held, returning both of hers to hold it. "I don't know what to do," she said quietly, trying to smile around the sober change of tone but it was hard to do. "So uh...thoughts, opinions? Other than, 'congrats, it's not the type of STD you were thinking of'?"
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Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:43 pm
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He went with the push with a chuckle, squeezing his eyes shut as he leaned back. Somehow, he wasn't quite as terrified as he'd thought he'd be when this day came, wasn't quite as ready to up and head off for the freedom of wide open space again like he'd expected.
This, Cas took as a sign of long-overdue maturity creeping into his life.
Still, that hardly meant he knew what to do. "I, uh... you know, so many times in my life I've thought this moment was here. So many girls saying, 'hey we need to talk,' and not once did I think to start planning for the day it actually happened," he said. It had happened more times than he could count since he was about 14, and somehow he hadn't seen this one coming.
"I mean, we haven't talked about this, clearly. We aren't... even, technically speaking, a couple. So. I don't know how you want to play it, but I'm... support? I guess. For whatever you might think. I'm open for discussion." Because really, he didn't have anything to guide him now. These were all blank pages they were about to fill.
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Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:57 pm
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Jo skewed her brows between disbelief and amusement at Cas' words, slowly shaking her head as he confessed. "I've never once planned for this, thought it would ever happen to me. Not once. I'm the most careful person you'd ever hope to be around, I -- I have a ********' piece of plastic inside of me that's supposed to block 99% of anything..."
The blonde sighed and leaned back against the cushions of the couch, still holding Cas' hand, fingers a little nervously running over the familiar callouses and scars. "If you propose to me, I'll cut you off forever," she grumbled, "and I don't -- I don't know. This was never in my plans. But it's not just me we're talking about." Green eyes flit towards the man. "Leave it to you to be in the one percent. Just gotta be special, don't you?"
That was to say, yes it was her body, but it wasn't her decision alone. She liked Cas, she really did, and that was probably the part that was scaring her the most.
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Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 9:14 pm
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Being careful had never really been his strong suit, not unless his job demanded it, so really it was a wonder that nothing of similar gravity had ever come up before. The only real thing he'd come to a legitimate scare was mono - which he hadn't gotten and hadn't been responsible for - so all in all, he was one lucky b*****d.
"I was thinking more like, I'll drive you to the OB/GYN and buy weird foods at 3 am..." he said, turning his hand palm side up and watching as her fingers traced the callouses. "I don't want to assume we're keeping it, but that's probably the first thing to figure out. And after that, how we'll deal with it." As a couple, as not-a-couple, as two people who might just happen to have a kid together.
Whatever the decision, there'd be plenty of logistics to deal with, no doubt.
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Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 9:22 pm
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"If I get too fat to drive..." The words were almost a threat, but she let it go unfinished, understanding he was really just trying to be himself and be the right type of guy at the same time -- which, as far as Jo was concerned, was a pretty neat package. "Weird foods at all hours of the morning and foot rubs sound mandatory," she said instead, finally letting his hand go, trying to not come off as any less than herself.
Her eyes lowered to her own hands, then, and with nothing to distract her, she rubbed her fingers together. "Yeah. That's...that's the bigger thing." Jo felt her throat tighten, felt the fear starting to curl up her spine again; it took everything in her to not just get up and walk out, instead forcing her legs up and beneath herself so she'd stay put.
"So. Do you want to be tied to me for the rest of our lives? Because that's where this starts." They'd already spoken -- he knew she wasn't the type to stay down, and she knew he was fine with that. A baby would break all the rules, and this is where they made that compromise.
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Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2016 9:41 am
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"It's true," she replied with a distant sort of humor and tightness. "Whether we like each other or not this time next year is going to be irrelevant, you know." Because a baby was bigger than both of them.
Jo ran her hands over her bare knee, lightly dragging her short nails over her skin, lips pressed tight. "I don't know if I could -- end a life, but if we're not ready, there's other options." Adoption. She didn't have to say it out loud; there was still an out if either of them had any doubts, as awful as it sounded. But she had to give the baby the best chance it would have, and having one or two parents that couldn't function in that role...wasn't fair to anyone.
She glanced over to him, as if she was afraid looking at him too long would give away all her fear and anxiety. Apparently, she had already made up her mind to carry the baby to term, and that sent a fresh wave of cold fear to steal her breath. Keeping it, though...she couldn't do this alone. It was all or nothing.
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Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2016 1:03 pm
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"You wouldn't be able to hand that baby over to someone else after carrying it for nine months," he said, quirking his brow. He knew that, and he admired it. It would be a struggle for any mother to simply give away her child, but Jo wouldn't let it happen. Couldn't give away something that was so much a part of her, and Cas didn't think it'd be fair to ask her to.
"Look, I'll find a job. I know I've said that for months now, but there's good money in private military work. The Rylan dads will babysit, there's a good school system here..." He paused. These were matters so domestic, so settled and adult that they didn't sound right rolling off his tongue. Who would've thought? He wasn't... dad material.
But he banished the thought. This wasn't about him. This was about Jo and a little baby that deserved all the best in the world, and as its creators they had a responsibility to give it that. If it meant learning what it was like to be a real, mature adult, then... Cas could at least give it a shot.
He leaned forward off the cushions and reached for her hands, clasping them in his and fixing her with an honest stare. "If you want to do this, I'll do it with you. We're both a part of it."
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Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2016 1:29 pm
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The look she gave Cas said that she wasn't as confident as he was in that statement. He was underestimating her skill in running away from everything, but Jo wasn't going to give that a voice just then. The last thing that needed to come up while discussing the future of their baby was her tendency to be flighty.
"Diapers aren't that expensive," she murmured softly, but she was listening, tapping her teeth together in a nervous gesture. Dragging the Rylans into it seemed unfair, but truth be told, she couldn't see Rylan not interjecting anyway. "I'll move, save money that way. And Ry, you know he'd have to be the godfather -- "
She blinked and looked at him, surprised by the honesty and openness in his warm gaze. Every red alarm was threatening to go off in her head, but either by his hold or by his words, she kept the sirens in her mind silent. "Want to? We're a bit beyond that," she replied with a small smile, "but if I have to...I could do worse than Iron Man."
Unexpected, the fear melted into relief, feeling a swell of emotion sting behind her eyes. Really, baby? she thought inwardly, Starting this already? Swallowing it back, she pulled her hands from his to instead lean in and wrap her arms around his shoulders, kissing his cheek and burying her face against his neck. "I'm scared to death," she confessed softly, voice wavering, "but I believe you."
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:12 am
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"He probably knows that already," Cas said with a wave of his hand. Just like Rylan probably already knew that he'd be best man if Cas ever got married, and vice versa. Just like Rylan probably knew that if Cas ever killed a man, he'd be the one to help hide the body and he wouldn't even ask what happened.
"Come here," he said, pulling her close, turning so that she could sit in his lap with her arms around his shoulders. He nuzzled his cheek against the top of her head and let his arms drape around her, holding her tight. "Don't be scared, we'll be alright. You'll be alright."
In his mind, he remembered his younger sister and the way she used to be scared, used to feel unsafe everywhere. His mind was made then - this baby and Jo, neither of them should ever have to feel scared again. Because suddenly, Jo was family. She was family like Rylan was family and these were His People.
"So, alright. What do we need to know? Or do?"
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