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Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:10 pm
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"Oh, well, I'll just stick to Rabbit then." Such a strange name still suited the man. She'd heard Bennett at the ball and that was why she had called him that, but she knew many didn't like to be reminded of the ball. Herself included. And yet, his inability to understand... her reasons were tied to the ball, in part, and tied to all the other ways she'd failed.
Temperance hesitated, trying to find the words to explain herself without simultaneously cutting herself raw. She opened her mouth, closed it, then sighed softly. "I want to save everyone, Rabbit. And I cannot as I am." And becoming a part of the court seemed the best way to both become more powerful and ensure she'd be around to stop the next tithing. She couldn't save anyone as she was now.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 8:38 am
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He felt a flash of furious anger, not at Temperance herself, but at the implication that what he had been given was a gift, that it could be used to save anyone, that he was a waste for not trying at all. Rabbit sat up straighter, pressing his lips together and holding his breath as he pushed the flare of pique down as far as it would go. In that moment, with this glut of self loathing and ever present fear moving through him, he could almost see himself instructing, guiding, leading through oppression, discipline, pain, uncertainty... love. Showing someone control and purpose, only to rip his comforting hand away and force them to kill. He could almost see it. And then it was gone.
The squeep she held, bored with grownup conversation and unimpressed with expressions that didn't involve teeth, tried to roll onto its side and burrow into her hand, but it didn't have the strength or coordination to do more than rock rhythmically back and forth. As if it had decided this was better than nothing, it kept moving anyway, while the one on Rabbit's knee flap flap flapped.
"I'll think about it," he murmured, his voice cold and damp. "We should... I'm sorry I can't help."
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:41 am
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His face changed, lips thinning, and she looked down, at the squeep, her words tasting like ashes in her mouth. It was always the same, she thought. The squeep rocked and she pushed it over gently, afraid it might rock right out of her hand. It was so cute, so innocent, so ******** fragile.
"It's okay," she said finally. "You are not... the... first I've asked, and won't be the last." But her voice wavered a little bit. Every no, every not good enough was wearing. Temperance was running out of options. She was no good to anyone if she wasn't strong enough to save them.
She sighed, then abruptly stood, still careful with the squeep. Holding it back out to Rabbit, she spoke. "I should... go."
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