Funniest attempts at insults

[Choboxer]

stare Nobody ******** with me cuse I am a verbal insulting master
a recent example:
Him twisted "I killed your mom last night"
Me stare " I know, you dropped your pants and she died laughing"

some a*****e with fangs" scream ******** ..... youre ugly"
Me" stare least Im not so ugly i make the exuse to be a vampire, youre so ******** ugly even the mirror wouldnt dare reflect it"


i know ive done better but for the life of me I cant think of any good ones.  

[MortSanglant]

I never even bother with retorting.

But for the most part people don't try to insult me.

Two reasons:

1. I come across pretty intimidating if you don't know me.

2. Even if an insult is attempted, they'll never get the reaction they want, so they give up.

 

[grotesquekreeple]

Krys_Night

i guess one of mine would be people screaming goth out of a car window driving by... and then running a red light at the corner from where I'm standing so that I won't follow them.
randomly honking their car horn and giving me the finger, which i cheerfully return.

i had something similar happen only they threw some form of condement at me i was too busy swearing and yelling...
then i found a 5 foot squegie in a dumpster [yes i was dunpster diving] and carried it around with me the whole week and they didnt ******** with me xp i wanted to run it through thier windsheild...and hehehe *laughs maniacally*  

[Plan-Galere]

This brings back memories. This one time some girl was giving me a bit of trouble, not much, and I decided to open up and return the favour. I made her cry. The BEST part? I got to see her come into my first period class in tears and sit in front of me.  

[vampyre_smiles]

People don't tend to insult me. Maybe ask, "Why are you wearing that?" to which I reply, "because I want to," and walk away.

This is the closest thing to an insult I've gotten: There was this kinda big, Asian-looking guy that a lot of people in my group called "Sumo." He decided to call me "Vampira," which is only funny cuz one day he saw me drinking my (ex-)boyfriend's blood from a scrape. Sumo just avoided me from then on....  

[Kamadev]

I don't get insults anymore my bullies are too scared I will go crazy and kill them (I still might) twisted  

[darkprincess1788]

once i was in the house walking out with my friend *both goth* with hella dark make up *love the droppy lines* and as i was walking, he said out loud like he didnt even care "jeeze its like freakin halloween" in was like god grandpa, u have a mind, use it to talk in. ya kno how people say old people are sweet nice and have great manners, no one told this ******** a** hole  

[poncho steve]

some random person rode by me on a bike
then looked back and yelled "conjurer" at me
then crashed into the telephone pole
because he was busy lookaing back at me

 

[The Deadliest Grace]

I get the typical 'yer a cutter beyotch!' and 'why don't ya go just wershp satan now. We don like you." Literally. They talk like they're drunk at my school. and they call me f*****t, even though I'm almost always staring at some cute emo boy... ninja or Josh,wholooksjustlikenickwheelerheeheeheehee! *laughs*  

[The Reused]

one time this kid walks up to me and says "your going to hell!"
and i respond "are you kidding me? i already went through hell creating you!"



p.s to get the joke you have to know that i am God  

[polaris SUN]

I get the whole " Who died?" bit all the time.


My most recent encounter was with some blonde abrecrombie t**t.

t**t: "God you're disgustingly pale! Haven't you ever heard of a tanning bed?"
Me: "Why yes I have! But i'm afraid that I might burn for your God frowns upon me. Satan is the way to go! You don't get cancer that way! ^_^"

She left me alone after that.
Yay atheism as well. You can say stuff you usually wouldn't!


There's others but i'm too lazy to type them  

[Dorian Requiem]

(Yes, I can post again)

I love the crazy people, trouble is fun. ninja *cough*

Now that I've thought about, insults have almost always been stating something obvious about me, or them. Also the ocassional 'f**' comment, which is starting to back fire, cause I'll pretend to come onto them,.. I don't mind, I know I don't do that.

God, insults don't hurt my feelings, but if you do a good one, it might make me laugh. Ignorant idiots these days, need to learn better insults.  

[Bakurish]

Dhampir_Rayne

I get the whole " Who died?" bit all the time.


My most recent encounter was with some blonde abrecrombie t**t.

t**t: "God you're disgustingly pale! Haven't you ever heard of a tanning bed?"
Me: "Why yes I have! But i'm afraid that I might burn for your God frowns upon me. Satan is the way to go! You don't get cancer that way! ^_^"

She left me alone after that.
Yay atheism as well. You can say stuff you usually wouldn't!


There's others but i'm too lazy to type them

*Dies laughing*

I don't get insulted a lot because... well, I dunno why. My friends think my tripp pants are scary so they call me monster, but that's not really an insult because we affectionally call each other "Slut" and "Whore" all the time. My school is random like that. dramallama  

[Starfish Attack]

well im a really witty person...
but it my wittyness isnt around when i want it to be..
so stupid insults are normally comebacks from me......

im just casually walking around the mall with my friend(also gothic~and we have the jingle bells thing going on with our tripp pants^.^)

dude:*whispers to friend*omg that girl is GOTHIC!!!!(like no one could hear him)

me:yOur mOthEr is gOthIC!

yea
thats almost my only comeback.
that and when people stare at me for long periods of time,whether theyre old people,highschoolers,toddlers or like middle schoolers its:

me:yOur jUst ~jealous~!
razz

would someone like to donate comebacks..... stare  

[Phimms]

People at my school say "emo!" to me all the time. Then they say why don't you just slit your throat and die so we don't have to look at you.
I say well why don't you join me since you sound so interested?
It is probably not funny but, oh well.