Starting

[Kechero]

(wow my cluelessness equaled a cool story..........your good!!!!!! lets start shall we??)
she walked out of the club at midnight, after her shift, she sang at a night club and made okey money but weard stuff had been happening latly in her life she started through the streets,  

[Mileena Chardonnay]

He was in an alley. A hooker was offering him a b*****b and he had led her to believe he accepted. She took him behind a dumpster. He encompassed her head in a ball of water and forced the water through her nose and mouth without so much as a twitch. As soon as she drowned, he left, looking for another to express his frustration upon...  

[Kechero]

she heared something...... "hello?.........who.....who's there" she stood back a little.  

[Megamanexe709]

Mobius Nightshade

Long ago, mankind struggled in epic combat amongst themselves. Mages of all kinds fought for the mystical Amulet of Indecency, a locket which would grant everyone's darkest desires and throw the world into anarchy. Some fought to stop it... Others to use it... They destroyed Earth in the process. With the surviving mages, the last of humankind relocated to Venus, and lived with it's people in harmony. Then, one day, a Venusian named Dovohive discovered the Amulet orbiting his spy satellite. Now, he seeks to use it's power to reign supreme... Unless those who would stop him rise up...

(Satisfactory?)

(OH COME ON MAN U CAN DO BETTER THEN THAT)

LONG AGO THERE WAS 20 PLANETS NOW THERE R 10 AND THE FINAL BATTLE HAS BEGUN BUT A UNKNOWN PLANET HAS ENTERED THE BATTLE TO STOP THE FIGHTING...

we r that planet  

[Mileena Chardonnay]

(Tch. You call that better? I gave us a villain, an objective, an object to search for, a backstory, and a conspiracy! You just gave us messy, blurry, sketchy combat.)  

[Kechero]

(uhhhhh.........i personally like Mobius's idea.........my stuff kinda stinks so i'm sorry for that but we have a story so we're sticking to it.... now c'mon and lets makee this a kick........a kick butt RP,)  

[Mileena Chardonnay]

(You got to admit, kick-a** has a bit more punch to it. And what's wrong with saying the name of donkey, or a female dog? There are rules, then there are ways around them... Just sayin'...)  

[Megamanexe709]

Mobius Nightshade

(Tch. You call that better? I gave us a villain, an objective, an object to search for, a backstory, and a conspiracy! You just gave us messy, blurry, sketchy combat.)

(fine)

LONG AGO THERE WAS A UNKNOWN EVIL BUT IT WAS DESTROYED BY THE 20 PLANETS BUT.... NOW IT HAS RETURNED TO FINISH THE JOB
THERE WAS 20 PLANETS NOW THERE R 10 AND THE FINAL BATTLE HAS BEGUN BUT FIRST THE WAR AGINST THE 10 PLANETS HAS TO STOP BEFOR THEY CAN DEFEAT THE EVIL

yea we all r ********  

[Mileena Chardonnay]

(Dude... No offense, but I'm a writer. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing. I can hold my own and then some here in The Legion's Writers/Poetry forum. My story has substance, something that can one can delve in and think of the complexities whic can ensue, the sides and alliances possible, something where a lot of plot twists can occur naturally. Your writing, however, is blind rage in text form. You leave things way too vague for the reader to work with. You want an example of a good opening? Here in the RP forum, look for a dead RP called 2012. You'll see what I mean. It only died because I was moving and therefore didn't give my support as a leading role.)  

[Megamanexe709]

Mobius Nightshade

(Dude... No offense, but I'm a writer. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing. I can hold my own and then some here in The Legion's Writers/Poetry forum. My story has substance, something that can one can delve in and think of the complexities whic can ensue, the sides and alliances possible, something where a lot of plot twists can occur naturally. Your writing, however, is blind rage in text form. You leave things way too vague for the reader to work with. You want an example of a good opening? Here in the RP forum, look for a dead RP called 2012. You'll see what I mean. It only died because I was moving and therefore didn't give my support as a leading role.)

(there is a writers form Y DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME I HAVE A DAM PART OF A BOOK ON MY PROFILE on that note could u read it too andn please comment)  

[Mileena Chardonnay]

(Perhaps I will. Dude, your role here is not plot-starter. You're crude, active, and ever expressive. It's why we all love you. No, your role here is to keep the action flowing, something we all know you're good at. Let's face it, you're damn good with fight scenes, am I right? That's your calling.)  

[Megamanexe709]

Mobius Nightshade

(Perhaps I will. Dude, your role here is not plot-starter. You're crude, active, and ever expressive. It's why we all love you. No, your role here is to keep the action flowing, something we all know you're good at. Let's face it, you're damn good with fight scenes, am I right? That's your calling.)

(blows up Mars while putting in a drowning pool cd *let the bodys hit the floor*)

what do u say i wasn't paying attention  

[Kechero]

(yayyy!!! i'm a writer too!!!! well more poetry, i've won a cupple national awards and stuff and i'm working on a book series so ya!!!! but thats cool!!!)  

[Mileena Chardonnay]

He stood behind her. No emotion was on his face as a tendril of water snaked out from his sleeve at her.  

[Kechero]

she jumpped back and screamed, stairing at him horrified, "w-what are you?.........who are you?...." she stumbled back and tripped,