Lines You'll Never Hear

[Kittensaurex]

Climatic music...

Vader: Luke, I am your father.
Luke: NO!
Vader: Search yourself, you know it to be true...
Luke: You lie!
Vader:...no. I have the paper's right here. *Pulls them out of nowhere* See, there's your name, and under father, that's me! Lord Vader. biggrin
Luke: sad But Obi-wan said-
Obi-Wan: *pops over Vader's shoulder* scream Crap! I thought I got rid of those papers!  

[Darkened Angel]

Admiral: Make the jump.

* SD jumps into hyperspace, but at the wrong coordinates *

Admiral: Where are we?
Officer 1: We seem to be in orbit of... Corneria...?
Officer 2: Why does that sound so familar?
Officer 1: Admiral, an unknown ship and 4 unknown fighters heading our way... They're trying to hail us, sir.
Admiral: Patch it through.
Fox: This is Fox McCloud of Star Fox. You guys just scared off all the bad guys and ruined my chance of beating my high score. Thanks alot, you douches.
Officer 2: Now I remember. I used to play this game all the time.  

[Nelowulf]

Luke: I am a jedi, like my father before me.
Palpy: You do know that you're father works for me?
Vader: Yea, crappy dental... *fried*
Palpy: So you were saying about being like your father?
Luke: Yea, I'll be in on monday.  

[Darkened Angel]

* Imperial officer comes to Palpatine bearing grave news *

Imp: Emperor, Lord Vader succeeded in demolishing the fruit cake fighters used by the people of the planet Foodstuffs, however, he was confronted by their Jedi Master, Fluffy Wuffy Kitty Witty, while eating dinner. The Jedi was eliminated, however Lord Vader found the sight of such a thing so funny he laughed histerically, and choked to death on a chicken bone.

Palpatine: I see... the fluffy kitties are truly a formidable adversary...  

[FrozenPhoenix32]

Anakin..I am your father!

-Palps  

[Darkened Angel]

Ah, screw it. I'm tired of this game. * orders all troops to act logically when facing the enemy, just up and kills Luke without saying a word, and has several turrets in position inside the incomplete Death Star, anticipating the Falcon's attempt to blow it all to Hell, and sure enough, the Falcon attempts, but gets blown up and Death Star survives * There, THAT should take care of it. Now, to take care of Justin Timberlake... * loads a conventional shotgun * - Vader  

[Sol Walker]

Vader: I have you now....
Slippy: Get him off me!
Vader: Damn it slippy! again?! wait..what the hell am I saying?  

[Darkened Angel]

Imp Guy: Emperor, Vader's ship, Executor, has been destroyed.
Palpatine: Well... um... uh... er... GUARD!
* a royal guard comes in *
Guard: Yes, Emperor?
Palpatine: What's the word I use when something really bad happens?
Guard: I believe it's " crap " Emperor.
Palpatine: That will be all. Now where were we?
Imp Guy: Vader's ship has been destroyed.
Palpatine: Ah yes. Well, CRAP! What am I gonna do now?
Imp Guy: Um... Fire the Death Star and blow up a rebel planet...?
Palpatine: Hmm... That's not a bad idea. Make it so, Number 1.
Imp Guy: Dammit! You're doing Star Trek again. And my name's... Admiral Jigglebottom... God I hate my parents.  

[neoqueenserenity298]

"Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair, rewind barney for the 19th time, breakfast at 6, naps at 9" Anakin fighting the droids.
"It's only monday Mr. Mom" Obi-Wan finishes it for him.
"hey you're a pretty good singer" Anakin.
"You're not to bed yourself" Obi-Wan.
"Crayons go up one drawer higher" together.  

[Darkened Angel]

Palpatine: Hey Vader, check out what I got in the mail. It says it has nice fragrance.
Vader: Hmm... Fragrance...
Palpatine: Elegance...
Vader: Studliness...
Both together: Passion... Obsession... Calvin Klein.  

[Uncle Choco]

Luke: I can't see a thing in this helmet!
Han: Here, lemme see.
Han plucks the stormtrooper helmet right off Luke's head. He rubs at the helmet with his arm. He pops the helmet back on Luke's head.
Han: There. Good as new.

Emperor: I sense a great disturbance in the Force.
Vader: I have felt it. You left the meatloaf in the oven too long.
Emperor: Dammit! *sigh* Up for some Chinese?  

[Darkened Angel]

Imp Officer 1: Admiral, our forces are ready.
Imp Admiral: Excellent. Hail the base so I may demand their surrender.
Imp Officer 2: Hailing now...
Lee Chang: Herro. Mr. Wok's Chinese Food. May I take your ordah?
Imp Admiral: Mr. Wok's? This isn't the rebel base!?
Lee Chang: You must have dial wong numbah.
Imp Admiral: I see... Oh well, since we called you, how about 3 egg rolls, and whatever your special is this week.
Imp Officer 1: I'll have 2 eggrolls, with duck sauce.
Imp Officer 2: Me too.
Lee Chang: Okay, total is ten dollar. Prease arrow 30 minute for derivery shuttre to come to dock with you.  

[Kittensaurex]

*Obi-wan facing Anakin with his arm all chopped up on the ground.*
Anakin: I hate you!
Obi:... scream *Walks over and smacks him with a fan* Never ever say hate! Always dislike!
Anakin: cry crying I dislike you so much!
Obi: That's right b***h. *walks away with Anakin's lightsaber, leaving him there to die*

Later on...

Vader: Is Padme okay?
Lord Sidi: ...no... you killed her.
Vader:*rips out of belts and blows everything up* Nooooooo! ...Wait... so I'm a bachelor again?
Lord Sidi: sweatdrop I guess...
Vader: Sweet! Wanna go hook up some crazy fan girl chicks and take 'em on a 'ride' in some random starship?
Lord Sidi:...*walks away shaking his head* I should have left him for dead like Obi-Wan...
Vader: Fine. No crazy fan girls for you.  

[Kittensaurex]

Padme: Anakin, I have a confession... I'm not carrying your children...
Anakin:... scream What?!
Padme:...well... you see... That one time, I came to visit you on the battle field, and you ordered a certain comander to escort me to my ship?
Anakin: Oh yeah...Wait, you never visited me on any battlefield. (Gets shot in the back of the head)
Com. Cody: (Blows the smoke on his gun) That's cuz she was with me during all those battles whinny mama's boy... Shall we darling? (Offers hand)
Padme: (Steps on Anakin on the way to Cody) Okays. Can we go to a diner? I'm dying for some spicey food... maybe a couple drinks?
Com. Cody: (Leads her out) Sure babe. Whatever you say...

*Okay. So I admit, I have a obsession with Cody and all the other clones... you could say I have a Boba Fettish too... sweatdrop Yep... Fettish... sweatdrop *  

[neoqueenserenity298]

"Anakin will you marry me" Obi-Wan

"Yo, yo, yo, Ankin's in the house" Anakin.

"What up my *****(no offense all black people)" Yoda

"I love rock and roll (singing)" Obi-Wan flying his jedi starship.

"Let's go get some weed" Chewie.

"I wanna ******** the princess" Han Solo.

"Lets masturbate" Leia

"I want a Dasani water not a moutain fresh" Vader.

"You have all that armour it makes me wonder if you haven't lost your d**k like all your other body parts tat keep you alive" Palpatine

"I want a d**k so I can ******** the princess" R2