[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Steve blinked and distracted himself by running his fingers along the rails of a crib. “Then shouldn’t that be a reason to tell him? So he can prepare to be a father?” he asked, voice still soft and gentle. No accusations or anything, just trying to understand at the moment.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

"No, telling someone when they are not ready does not often endear them to the idea. They tend to leave." Loki spoke softly. He knew it all too well and he did not want to experience it again. "I do not know what to do, but I know I can not tell him and at some point I will no longer be able to hide it from him." Loki sighed he was glad the man didn't seemed to judge him about such things.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Steve frowned at the response he got. “Do you remember telling me Tony was not Howard earlier? Tony isn’t whoever you’ve had these problems with either.” He said slowly. “Tony wasn’t ready to be a hero, it was put in front of him, and look at him today. He wasn’t ready for a serious committed relationship, and look at him now. He’s your mate and is happy with that.” He continued. Stopping, he turned to face Loki fully, he crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly. “And this is not Asgard. You don’t have to be scared of any of us finding out. We’re your friends Loki. Keeping a secret like this will cause more trouble than just telling everyone. We just want you healthy and happy.”

 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked to Steve when the man referred back to their earlier conversation. He nodded because of course he remembered but he quickly frowned. "It is not the same, yours merely causes a fight mine, mine would be the end of alot." Loki protested. He did understand that Tony hadn't been ready to be a hero or in a serious relationship. But he hadn't tried the relationship thing with Loki alone. He had thought about being with Pepper that Loki knew. "I am not scared of everyone finding out, I am frightened of losing Tony. Besides Bruce already knows and hes scolded me enough on this." Loki pouted. He knew keeping the secret would cause more harm than good it always did but Loki didn't know what else to do.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Steve sighed, shaking his head. “Loki….” he mumbled. “You would not lose Tony. If Bruce knows, then he’s told you the same thing. Anyone would tell you the same.” He said softly, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder, the soldier turned his usual puppy dog eyes on Loki. “You need to tell him. It’s the only way to make both of you happy and give that child the best future possible.” He said gently. Slowly moving his hand, he pressed it carefully on Loki’s stomach. Smiling softly as he looked down, imagining Loki and Tony with a baby, imagining how happy they would be. “Please….don’t do anything stupid Loki……Tony may not be Howard, but he is still his father’s son in many ways. If you hurt him because of this…..I don’t think either of us want to imagine what he’s capable of doing to himself.”

 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked doubtful when Steve said that he would not lose Tony and that he was sure that Bruce had already told him that. He knew the rest of the Avengers would tell him the same thing but they were all friends their opinions were too similar on some things. Looking to Steve when the man put a hand on his shoulder he didn't expect the puppy dog eyes that he was so used to seeing from Thor on Steve. He didn't know how to respond to the man's request still apprehensive about the possibility of such things even if he did want the best for his child. Loki averted his eyes trying to think but he looked back up when Steve placed a hand on his stomach. He was one of the few that had ever done such, his mother, Thor and Bruce seemingly the only few. "I am only a month along you will not feel anything yet." Loki spoke softly as Steve imagined things. "I do not wish to hurt him. I do not want him to do anything to himself." Loki continued softly.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

“I know.” Steve said softly. He was well aware of how long it took for people to be able to feel a baby moving, but he still wanted to touch, to imagine Tony’s little terror growing. Pulling his hand away, Steve met Loki’s eyes again. “I know you don’t want anything to happen to Tony, but you also know how much he takes blame onto his own shoulders. Imagine what he’ll think when he finds out you wanted to keep this child a secret from him? Like you were ashamed of it, or ashamed of Tony being the father…..” he said gently. “You still have time to think things through. A month or two in is a reasonable time to be able to say you didn’t really know….but Loki….you aren’t this first person I’ve known that’s been in this type of situation. Before I was a soldier, they had me working as a performer, trying to gather support for the war….I was surrounded by women all day, every day. And a few of them ended up in your situation….and the situations that ended up working out, were ones were everyone was honest.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki relaxed when Steve said that he knew that he would not be able to feel anything but still the man didn't seem to mind. "I know he takes the blame in so many things but none of this is his fault. It is mine, I was not careful enough. I should have known when all my magic got cut off on Asgard that my contraceptive magic went to but I did not think about it." Loki sighed. He didn't want Tony blaming himself even if he knew he would. Looking back up to Steve when the man said he had time to think things through, a month or two he said. Just about the time he would be able to show. Hearing the solider continue and say this wasn't the first time he had been around someone in this certain situation. "You think I should tell him, that I should let him know. Even though he told me last night that he wasn't ready and that maybe someday he would be." Loki stated  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Steve arched a brow at Loki and nodded. “Yes. I think you should tell him. You know Tony, he talks, incessantly. He has no filter between his brain and his mouth and he doesn’t let himself think things through before he says anything. If he was actually bringing up kids with you, he was probably trying to talk about something else, say or ask something he wasn’t getting out properly.” Steve said firmly. “And if he’s saying maybe, then that’s a good thing. It’s about the most you’re going to get from him when dealing with commitment until he’s directly faced with something. If I remember correctly, he called you a lover for quite a while before he called you boyfriend, and he settled right in after that. Tony wants commitment, wants a family, and friends, and responsibility even, but he’s lived his whole life not having that and teaching himself to avoid so much as even talking about it so he wouldn’t have to reminded that he didn’t have it. So he didn’t have to hurt. Give it to him.” He said firmly. “And you have support, you have friends who will want to help, to be there for you. They deserve to know as well.”  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki nodded, Steve was of course right that Tony talked incessantly with no filter. Fiddling with the bags at his wrist he nodded. It did seem plausible but Loki was still frightened. What would he do if both Bruce and Steve were wrong about this. "Thank you for the support. I will think on this." he promised. It was the most he could give for the moment, he had a whole lot of fear to work through after all his other pregnancies had turned out. He was glad to have the support none the less.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Steve nodded at the thanks. "It's nothing you have to thank me for." He said gently. "Just make sure you really do consider what I said. I wouldn't lie to you about something like this." He added. Glancing at the front window, he went and retrieved the little stuffed animals Loki had been looking at and bought them for the god, handing them over. "Now why don't we look around a little more?" He suggested gently, leading Loki back outside.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

"You do not think I should thank you for something that so few do for me?" Loki questioned puzzled. "I promise to think on it." Loki promised again. He knew the solider wouldn't lie, the man rarely lied about anything. The god startled when the solider moved to the window and grabbed the stuffed toys. Loki opened his mouth to protest but the man was already purchasing them. Loki looked startled and unsure as he was handed the bag. "Thank you..." Loki mumbled and nodded when Steve suggested they look around some more.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

“I don’t think you should thank a friend for doing what a friend should do.” Steve replied simply. Steve knew Loki wouldn’t want him to buy the toys, but Loki had liked them, so Steve wanted to get them for the god. He deserved to get nice things for the baby. He should’ve started getting things a month ago. Once outside again, Steve began to wander down the street again with Loki, acting as if the whole incident had never happened. Window shopping and telling the god some history of the area, trying to paint a picture of what it had looked like back when he was born.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

Alikia Tsuki

MDaylus

"It is still strange to have friends at least ones who are actually my friends and not tolerating me because of thor." Loki smiled softly. When they wandered down the street again loki couldnt help but smile as all the tension seemed to disappear. It was as if Steve had discovered nothing and the man merely spoke about the history of things. Loki was all too happy to listen to the man.

 

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Steve just gave Loki a little smile at his words. "Well it's time you start getting used to it. Your stuck with us." He teased gently. Pleased that Loki was actually responding to his reminiscing, even seeming to enjoy the information he had, Steve took his time. Though Bruce and even Natasha on occasion indulged him in this, it was rare still. And he loved this city, talking about it was pleasant. Eventually they headed back to the truck though. "You sure there is nothing else you'd like to get before heading back to the tower?" He asked.