AFG Sallies

[Nekoyaki]

FogSage

I just read a book called Marley and Me. It's a wonderful book, very beautifully written, and it made me so sad at the end. It also made me feel very depressed.

So I ask this question that many others have asked before. What point is there to life if all we do is die? Is it death that makes life precious? That life is a fleeting opportunity, and that we must grip it and take everything we can from it?

I am sad and I do not know how to make myself happy again. It makes me sad and afraid to think of my own mortality, though previously I said otherwise. I am a weak human being, living a life I do not understand fully and only know understanding a small part of it. The thought of my death in whatever form it will come to me in makes me afraid. I don't want to die, nobody does. But it has to be. Nothing lives forever. And I wish I could though. I wish I could live forever and take in life for eternity, it's joys, it's sadnesses, all of it. It would be worth the time to me.

I don't know anymore.........

My mother keeps telling me to read that book. We have a lab.

It always gives me a frightened feeling in my stomach to think about when I'm going to die. I mean, I could die right now if a plane crashed into my house. Or if someone driving me somewhere got into a car crash. Or if I contracted some disease from the doctor's office. I could even have something life-threatening inherited from my parents and I wouldn't even know (I'm adopted). It's jsut not something I can be certain about, and it's always a little lightning bolt squirming around in the back of my mind.

Maybe that's why I'm always so stressed.

But what scares me most isn't death, but living, in a sense. What if I got into a car crash, and was paralyzed from the neck down? I would never be able to do anything ever again. The only thing keeping me sane is my drawings.. if I couldn't do that, I'd be lost. I'd be a burden on everyone I care about. I wouldn't even be able to pee without help. The idea terrifies me.

Then again, I was at Renn Fest yesterday, and the sword swallower told him about a sideshow guy he knew who had been just a torso and a head all his life. No arms, no legs. He was married, had two kids, and could do the most amazing things on his own. He could roll himself a cigarette, swallow the still-burning end, and continue smoking it. He could shave himself with a straightrazor by holding against the wall with his shoulder and rubbing his face against it. The swallower (who's name was Johnny Fox) said since he was old enough to think he never wanted anyone's pity, so he just learned new ways to do things without limbs... I don't think I could ever be that strong.

Of course, then Fox swallowed a four foot long longballoon (the kind clowns turn into balloon animals) and popped it inside him (squeaky air-coming-out noise and all, lol), so.. Hahaha, he was amazing. He swallowed a long spoon handle just to prove it wasn't a trick, and then a three foot long screwdriver, and a variety of swords, and also told (and demonstrated) everyone about the cup and ball tricks, and how to do them, and it was just amazing. D: He explained all the tricks, and the mechanics of real sword swallowing. He's got extreme control over the muscles of his throat and neck, and it goes down the esophagus and maybe a little into his stomach. He said he wasn't a freak, surgically enhanced, a moron, a masochist, or gay. O: It was awesome-possum.

My point is, the key to not worrying about mortality is distracting yourself with life and how amazing it can be. It's over when it's over. You don't go into an amusement park thinking about how you're going to feel when you have to leave. It's going to ruin all the fun you have while you're there.  

[FogSage]

Nekoyaki

FogSage

I just read a book called Marley and Me. It's a wonderful book, very beautifully written, and it made me so sad at the end. It also made me feel very depressed.

So I ask this question that many others have asked before. What point is there to life if all we do is die? Is it death that makes life precious? That life is a fleeting opportunity, and that we must grip it and take everything we can from it?

I am sad and I do not know how to make myself happy again. It makes me sad and afraid to think of my own mortality, though previously I said otherwise. I am a weak human being, living a life I do not understand fully and only know understanding a small part of it. The thought of my death in whatever form it will come to me in makes me afraid. I don't want to die, nobody does. But it has to be. Nothing lives forever. And I wish I could though. I wish I could live forever and take in life for eternity, it's joys, it's sadnesses, all of it. It would be worth the time to me.

I don't know anymore.........

My mother keeps telling me to read that book. We have a lab.

It always gives me a frightened feeling in my stomach to think about when I'm going to die. I mean, I could die right now if a plane crashed into my house. Or if someone driving me somewhere got into a car crash. Or if I contracted some disease from the doctor's office. I could even have something life-threatening inherited from my parents and I wouldn't even know (I'm adopted). It's jsut not something I can be certain about, and it's always a little lightning bolt squirming around in the back of my mind.

Maybe that's why I'm always so stressed.

But what scares me most isn't death, but living, in a sense. What if I got into a car crash, and was paralyzed from the neck down? I would never be able to do anything ever again. The only thing keeping me sane is my drawings.. if I couldn't do that, I'd be lost. I'd be a burden on everyone I care about. I wouldn't even be able to pee without help. The idea terrifies me.

Then again, I was at Renn Fest yesterday, and the sword swallower told him about a sideshow guy he knew who had been just a torso and a head all his life. No arms, no legs. He was married, had two kids, and could do the most amazing things on his own. He could roll himself a cigarette, swallow the still-burning end, and continue smoking it. He could shave himself with a straightrazor by holding against the wall with his shoulder and rubbing his face against it. The swallower (who's name was Johnny Fox) said since he was old enough to think he never wanted anyone's pity, so he just learned new ways to do things without limbs... I don't think I could ever be that strong.

Of course, then Fox swallowed a four foot long longballoon (the kind clowns turn into balloon animals) and popped it inside him (squeaky air-coming-out noise and all, lol), so.. Hahaha, he was amazing. He swallowed a long spoon handle just to prove it wasn't a trick, and then a three foot long screwdriver, and a variety of swords, and also told (and demonstrated) everyone about the cup and ball tricks, and how to do them, and it was just amazing. D: He explained all the tricks, and the mechanics of real sword swallowing. He's got extreme control over the muscles of his throat and neck, and it goes down the esophagus and maybe a little into his stomach. He said he wasn't a freak, surgically enhanced, a moron, a masochist, or gay. O: It was awesome-possum.

My point is, the key to not worrying about mortality is distracting yourself with life and how amazing it can be. It's over when it's over. You don't go into an amusement park thinking about how you're going to feel when you have to leave. It's going to ruin all the fun you have while you're there.

But death is inescapable. It's not that I want to go on living forever, it's just I don't want to let go.......

It's too late for me to believe in God, not after all the times I've denied him and mocked what is written in the Bible. I cannot believe that God is that loving and caring. When I die, where will I go? Will I stay in my grave, my soul eroding into dust just as my body will? Or will I be sent to some hell far underground or elsewhere, to be tortured for the rest of my spiritual life?

Life is so uncertain, but I find it a trifle more certain than death. I can't stop myself from thinking about death, about the deaths of those near to me. Will I be sad, or will I be angry that they left and didn't give me three weeks notice in advance about it? And my own death.....what will that be like? Will I have people there near me when I die somewhere, somehow, people that love and understand me and don't want me to leave? Or will I just die alone, friendless, a miser of money and a greedy heartless b*****d?

At times like these, I wish life was predictable.  

[Manda_Tifa]

Every chuch that I've ever gone to claims that it's never too late to accept God....But I've always been skeptical on that matter myself. Like Voltaire says: "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." -- And that's putting our faith in something man-made. God did not create us, we created Him....

It's too complicated to get into. I try not to worry about the inevitable (death)...and it really only affects me when it takes someone from me. That's what I fear. Losing someone forever...never being able to hold, touch, see, or talk to them again.... crying  

[Selene Aries]

Manda_Tifa

Every chuch that I've ever gone to claims that it's never too late to accept God....But I've always been skeptical on that matter myself. Like Voltaire says: "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." -- And that's putting our faith in something man-made. God did not create us, we created Him....

It's too complicated to get into. I try not to worry about the inevitable (death)...and it really only affects me when it takes someone from me. That's what I fear. Losing someone forever...never being able to hold, touch, see, or talk to them again.... crying

When it comes down to accepting god, does it matter which one we accept? Let us keep in mind that there is a dividing difference between mythology and religion.

I think mythology can best be explained as stories that try to explain how things in this world work through what we would call supernatural forces. Often times dealing with creatures that we call angels, demons, gods, spirits, fairies and an assortment of other fairytale and mythological beings.

Religions may use this stories as a way of passing on certain morals, but what make something a religion is the acceptance that one is meant to lead their life a certain way, to fallow certain rules and accept that a higher being or beings are watching over us, manipulating the world around us and judging us. Ultimately religion deals with our biggest fear, the greatest unknown for mankind, the afterlife.

It is not a bad thing for people to believe in an afterlife, to have hope that there is something beyond this world and that they don't simply cease to exist. It helps tare away some of the fear of death and even helps people embrace it, though sometimes a little too readily. The major problems come is when this is use to manipulate people, to make them do what you want them to by saying that if they don't live their live exactly as they are told they will suffer in the afterlife, but if they are good and blindly follow their teaching then what awaits them is bliss.

The other problem arises is that people start to fixate too much on achieving the prefect afterlife. They waist away their life here on Earth, doing everything they can to achieve a better life after death. My main problem with this is that these kinds of people loose focus on life itself. We are here, on Earth, right now and we should make the best of it. Enjoy your life, do what makes you feel good, but also be a good person and don't hurt other people. This seems like a pretty simple thing to me and yet the rest of the world makes it so complicated. The fact that different groups of people the all worship the same god, just differently, go to war in the name of that god against each other in mind-boggling.

If you truly wish to embrace god that is fine, but I feel picking any one of the current religions is wrong. There is always another option, there is always discovering what god is to you rather than going off what other tell you god is. Listen to your heart and let it guide you and you shall always find your way.

To me god isn't some single entity watching over us from the sky, judging our every move and sending obstacles in out path to test of faith. What kind of god is that anyway? Here's free will, but I want you to worship me blindly and you get into Heaven, but stray even a little from path I have set out for you even as I ******** with your life you are going to Hell or Purgatory. Funny how many people forget about purgatory too, that little place for those who have not sinned bad enough to go to Hell but are not pure enough to get into Heaven. That is the point of Purgatory, to help purify your soul before entering Heaven and even if you do end up in Hell it was never meant to for eternity. If one is able to recognize their sins and ask God for forgiveness then they shall be set free and given another chance.

For me though, god is literally everything. That united consciousness that binds all life together, whether we realize it or not. We are all interconnected every action we do affects the whole. Sometimes what is affected is small and goes unnoticed, but little ripples always have a way of becoming larger and more noticeable. You see this is what fate truly is, the little events that occur that inevitably result in other events taking place. Think of it as many lines of dominos, all falling down at the same time, many times crossing each other’s paths and causing new lines to fall, all eventually leading to one final outcome and yet they do not stop, they keep going on for infinity. But the events are not purely random, there is consciousness to them, each little tile acting on its own and yet still affected by everything else.

The final conclusion for all of us is eventually death, but the marks we left in this world, the actions we set into motion continue to ripple through time. As for what happens to our consciousness when we die, I cannot really say. I would like to believe that in way we keep on existing. I mean out thoughts themselves, the thing that makes us we are is a form of energy and energy cannot be destroyed, only transferred or converted. So I am in the firm believe that the moment we die that energy spreads out all direction and merges with the whole, truly becoming one with everything.
 

[UglyCoyoteNG]

ATTENTION: IMPORTANT POST FOR COMMISIONERS

Well, after a fight with my best friend of nine years, I'm the one suffering.

I am not staying at my home, so my home is vulnerable. She has a key, and I completely forgot about it.

I went home erlier, and all my pencils, pens, ect, worth well over $2000 in art supllies, are gone. stolen.

My paper, ink paper, artist boreds, copic paper, acid plus, acid free, ect paper, is gone. stolen.

As for my drawn on stuff, full notebooks and portfolios...

I FOUND THEM ALL BURNED IN THE FIREPLACE.

Nothing else was harmed. just this. She knew what would hurt most.

So... if I owe you a commishion, please say so, so i can re-do it. PLEASE a diffrent subject then what you asked for. I have 24 pencils and a pencil, pen, and one notebook left that I took with me, so i'm sorry it will be limited. Everything I started on is gone, and so is all of my hard work. So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PM me if i owe you something, and ask for something else, because i don't think i can re-do your peice. Thanks.

I'm sorry everyone, If I hadn't been so slow on sending things off, this wouldn't have been so bad. i'm really sorry...

cry  

[Selene Aries]

Oh I would so be ready to beat the crap out of someone if they did that to me, NG. evil  

[UglyCoyoteNG]

Well, in this case, you reap what you sow, and I apparently deserved this. :/  

[Krissim Klaw]

I would be calling the police on the b***h. So pissed right now an emoticon would not do this post justice.  

[Selene Aries]

Krissim Klaw

I would be calling the police on the b***h. So pissed right now an emoticon would not do this post justice.

The police wont do anything, she had a key. The only thing she could do it take it to court and try and get money from the girl, but that is only if she can prove that the girl did it in the first place.  

[UglyCoyoteNG]

Which I can't. Can't prove it at all, other then I KNOW Hannah, and I know she'd do something stupid like this to get back at me.

Mind you, what I "Did" wrong, is being bi, and primaraly interested in girls.

Shes christians.

Side note:

NEW AV. LOL SQUID TAIL EEEEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEEEE 4laugh whee  

[Selene Aries]

Let the tentacle fun begin! Man, it isn't going to be safe to dress up like a school girl on Gaia anymore. xd  

[Krissim Klaw]

Diana Vulpes

Let the tentacle fun begin! Man, it isn't going to be safe to dress up like a school girl on Gaia anymore. xd

<.< Welll I was looking at the tentacle in a purely innocent fashion untill that... rofl


NG- it looks awsome on you. Now all you need is some greenish ears or something to balance it out. Love your new outfit though.  

[UglyCoyoteNG]

I WISH there was some green I could add to the outfit. The eyes are actualy green but you can't tell it seems they turn white on pages and stuff. Sigh! Gaia needs more green. sad Yes, let the tentacle fun begin! XD

You know, i was hoping for tentacle items, since NG has tentacles surprised

Ohhh hey,what about green hair? what style do you guys thing would work? XD  

[Af Mas]

I love the Gunner stuff heart  

[Krissim Klaw]

Green hair could work. I like the style you have now, but just play around a bit and see which one you like best.