Lines You'll Never Hear

[jedi_master_tenku]

Ok, not quite lines you'd never hear, but possible Episode III titles that didn't make the grade (stolen from an issue of MAD magazine)

-Episode III-- Dancin' in the Darth
-Episode III-- Sith Happens
-Episode III-- Harold and Jar Jar Go to White Castle
-Episode III-- Crouching Jedi, Hidden Gungan
-Episode III-- Dude, Where's My Death Star?
-Episode III-- My Big Fat Sith Wedding
-Episode III-- Gone with the Windu
-Episode III-- The Sith Sense
-Episode III-- Barbie and Kenobi
-Episode III-- The Passion of the Wookie
-Episode III-- Jedis of the Carribean
-Episode III-- The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Sand People
-Episode III-- Men Are From Coruscant, Women Are From Alderaan
-Episode III-- Harry Potter and Prisoners of Naboo  

[Duredhel]

Palpatine- Peskipiksi Pesternomi

Mace Windu- Ugh...
(He dies)

Anakin- Where can I learn these powers?

Palpatine- Not from a jedi....  

[Mademoiselle Kit]

Dooku: My name is Count-

Anakin: Dooky? xd

Dooku: scream NO NO!!! IT'S COUNT DOO-KU!!!

Anakin: *Dancing around* Dooky! Dooky! Dooky Dooky Dooky!!! blaugh

Dooku: stressed I hate this name. *Ignites lightsaber* For that Lucas, you die. evil

* eek GL gets up from his directors chair and runs like hell*

Obi-Wan: stare No, my young padawan, you must not mock your enimes.

Anakin: Awwwww... sad

Obi-Wan: Say you're sorry. stare

Anakin: sweatdrop Sorry, okay. Jeez!

Dooku: Hmph. *Decides not to kill Lucas*

Obi-Wan: But on the other hand... *pause* well... *snicker* xp DOOKY!!!

Dooku: NOT YOU TOO!!! scream  

[Kittensaurex]

Luke: *humming the emperial march with Obi-wan as they drive to the spaceport*  

[Darkened Angel]

Obi Wan: Use the Force Luke.
Luke: Okay.

* Luke switches his targetting computer off, and ends up missing the mark *

Luke: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL ME TO DO THAT FOR!?
Obi Wan: Because I'm not Obi Wan... * pulls off mask, revealing it to be Vader * GOTCHA! MUAHAHA!!!! twisted  

[NickCpointless]

On Alderan
Bail:wow the skys so clear you can see the moon
Bails whife:whats that green thing on the moon
Bail surprised h fu
BOOM  

[Nospai Deathous]

TK-4976: "Wow... that last firefight we were in made me realize that we really suck at aiming."  

[Duredhel]

Obi-wan: Hmm I will need to disguise my identity..... I know.

*Puts on glasses and a button up white shirt*

Obi-wan: Hello I'm Clark Kent.  

[Nospai Deathous]

Luke: OW!! Why'd ya slice off my hand?
Vader: Because it's imperative that you understand- Obi-Wan would never bother... tellin' you about your father!
Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Vader: I have something I must reveal, then-
*bouncing up and down, gettin' jiggy, phat beats comin' outta nowhere*
I'm your father!
I'm your father!
I'm your father!
Luke: No! That's not true! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!
Vader: Yo, dawg, search yo feelin's, Luke, you know full well that I speak the truth!
Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My dad's a RAPPER!! WOE is me!!

Yoda: Luminous beings are we! *grab's Luke's shoulder* Not this crude... crude, uh... wow! Waiter, like a slice of that beefcake, I would!  

[Durza the Shade]

 

[Kittensaurex]

*Awsome pic..*

Boba:...*itches stomach* Man, did I ever wash this Mandalorian armor? Is this drycleaned or machine washable? *turning around in circles trying to find a tag*  

[Missing00]

Jar Jar: mesa actually shakesperiansa actor.

darth maul behind red wall thing: what is this anyway? why is it truning on and off like that? Is this really pratacal?

greivous: hoo whaaa heehaa *showing off his awsome four arm lightsaber skills* ha! *stands for a second and the falls apart*  

[Kittensaurex]

Darth Maul: ... ninja ... *Jumps into one of the yellow starships, pushing Anakin out and flying away from the two Jedi's with awsome skills*

-----------------

R2: I really wish people could understand what the hell I'm saying without this annoying 3PO at my side all the time.
Chewie: At least you have someone to translate for you.
C3PO: I could transla- *Gets torn apart by Chewbacca*
R2: Yippie! I'm free! *Rolls away*

------------------

Obi-wan:*At Cantina*...If Yoda had only let ME fight the Sith Lord, You're father would be okay... *Sips starbucks coffee*  

[Mademoiselle Kit]

Padme: I just can't...

*Obi-Wan sees that she's pregnant*

Obi-Wan: *Narrows eyes* I see...

*On Mustafar*

Obi-Wan: ANAKIN!!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT USING A CONDOM?!!!!  

[Kittensaurex]

The Kitsune Hanyou

Padme: I just can't...

*Obi-Wan sees that she's pregnant*

Obi-Wan: *Narrows eyes* I see...

*On Mustafar*

Obi-Wan: ANAKIN!!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT USING A CONDOM?!!!!

cont.

Anakin: But master... I had her take birth controll pills.
Obi-Wan:...I thought those were pez candies! *runs away covering his mouth*
Anakin: gonk

----------------

Obi: I think I'll go see what Anakin and Padme are up to... *Walks towards their apartment and stops at door*
(this is what he hears)
Padme: No! I'm not ready yet!
Anakin: Oh I think you are...
Padme: No! No looking! No! Stop! Ow that hurts!
Obi: (Walks in and sees them playing cards, Anakin's trying to see what Padme has in her hand)