[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony reassured Loki as soon as he felt the brush of his mind, telling the god he was only giving them privacy. Jor listened to his mother, absorbing the story he was being told. Nodding at the news that Hodur was removed from power, he smiled slightly. He had only heard bits and pieces of what the man was responsible for before he was banished, but he’d always been cruel to Jor and his siblings and always upset Loki. “Good….he deserves to be punished.” He muttered. When Loki continued, Jor felt his unease. Frowning at the news that he was part jotun, he looked down at a hand. “Jotun……do you think that is why I was born the way I was? Why Hela and Fenrir were born like they were? Not normal?” he asked slowly. He didn’t seem upset or angry, but then he just seemed blank about it. IN reality he was still processing. He’d had suspicions that something was wrong for most of his life, he wondered if this was the reason.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki sent a confirmation back when Tony told him he was merely giving them privacy. Loki nodded when his son said that Hodur deserved to be punished. Looking to his son when he asked if he thought being jotun was perhaps why he was born the way he was. It was not something he had considered but now he felt terrible about it. "I do not know. That does not make you not normal, the way you are is special. I love you as you are my son, in any form you chose." Loki tried to comfort. His son didn't seem upset yet but it had taken Loki a moment to process it all.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Jor looked up as his mother spoke, looking a little strained at the words. He knew he was not normal. He was a serpent, one large and powerful enough to make the gods fear him. There was nothing normal about that. “If grandmother is ruling…..does that mean I could leave, that I no longer have to hide in the oceans?” he asked slowly, almost hopeful. He loved the water now, it was his home, but he also knew it was his prison. The knowledge that he could leave, that he could choose to walk on land or visit Asgard once more, even if everyone there hated him. It would free himself.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki sighed when Jormungandr looked at him when he spoke with a strained look on his face. "I am not sure yet but I will ask her when we next speak in a few days. I do not see why you would not be able to move realms now however. The 'seer' who made the prophecy was false and I know that your grandmother knows you and your siblings are no threat. She even spoke about freeing your brother." Loki stated hoping the potentially good news would lighten the atmosphere. "Tony is even trying to help me find him." he continued.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Jor nodded his understanding, but frowned. “Mother…..are you sure finding Fenrir is the best idea? I miss my brother with all my heart, and I have mourned his fate…..but centuries of not just banishment, but imprisonment….” He said slowly, shaking his head. “I have barely held it together myself, and I have the freedom of the oceans, the ability to grow and create, and even interact with humans from time to time. I doubt Fenrir has had any of it with the amount of grandfather’s anger that was directed towards him. I worry that whatever Fenrir you may find will not be our Fen.” He said carefully.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked to his son when the man asked if finding his brother was the best idea. He felt sorrow when he heard Jormungandr state that even with the ability to travel the oceans and the limited interaction he had had with humans had barely kept it together. He knew that he could not imagine what such banishment and confinement would do to Fenrir but it mattered not to Loki. "I can not abandon him, no matter what. Just as I would not abandon you, even if you had come here mad at me ready to never see me again. I would not abandon any of you. I will take Fenrir as he is and if he has lost it I will help him the best I can or find someone who can. He should not be forsaken for something not in his control." Loki stated. He would stand firm on this, too long had he been apart from his family. Now that the chance to have them all back in his life he would not pass it up.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Jor was clearly uneasy with the idea still. Even though Fenrir was young and often sweeter than Jor had even been, Fenrir was stronger than his older brother, and he had always been a little volatile and impulsive. Jor was scared to think of what Fenrir would be like now. The serpent doubted that even he would be able to handle Fenrir with all of his size and strength, what was Loki supposed to do? “Just be careful mother. I know how much you miss Fenrir, but if you do find him, do not let your love cloud your vision, not at first……you know Fenrir was always capable of hurting others, even if by accident. He will be much larger, much stronger, and much angrier now.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki listened to his son as he was told to be careful. "What do you propose I do, if or when I find him? I can not leave him there. Not after so long, I could not bear it when you and he were taken and then when I learned of both your fates. I was thankful that you at least were given free reign around Midgard. He does not deserved to be chained for nothing more than someone's lie and my inability to speak the truth. I know he will be stronger and no doubt angrier. I only hope freeing him will assuage some of that anger so that I might help him." Loki stated. He was fearful though that he would be faced with the situation of Vali and Narfi once more. Forced to kill his own child because there was no other choice. "If I have to I will take him far away from any others and work with him, or at the very least give him the freedom he deserves." Loki continued.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

“I did not tell you to leave him mother.” Jor replied firmly. “But you walked toward me with outstretched arms, not thinking of my reaction to you. Do not do that with Fenrir. Do not sacrifice your life because you did not think beforehand. If he kills you, then he will remain trapped forever. Even grandmother will not be able to justify his release then.” He continued, eyes not leaving Loki..
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki smiled when Jormungandr cautioned him further stating that Loki had walked to him with open arms and that he should not do so with Fenrir. "I knew you were not going to hurt me when I walked towards you. Perhaps be angry and have harsh words but I knew you were not going to hurt me and do you know why?" Loki questioned touching his son's arm. "It is because when you finally lifted out of the water you called me mother. If you were going to hurt me you would not have called me such." Loki explained. He turned back to the railing of the boat grasping it as he looked out to the sea. "Besides I can not be so careless with Fenrir even if I wanted to. There are more than just me depending on my continued existence and good health."  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Jormungandr listened to his mother, smiling slightly as Loki touched his arm. “I was old enough to remember that you had nothing to do with my banishment…..and Hela did much to soothe my anger.” Jor admitted, trying to explain his behavior. Loki’s next words had Jor’s eyes narrowing. “More than you?’ he asked slowly. He hoped Loki wasn’t referring to the human he called mate. Loki shouldn’t judge his worth by a human, not with their lifespan.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

"I might have been able to stop it, but at the time I was too afraid that if I told the truth you and your siblings would be taken no matter what. I still had Hela as much as I wanted all three of you. I thought I could protect her if only her if I kept quiet. I could of revealed how your brothers died and perhaps that would have soothed Odin's fear of the false prophecy." Loki breathed shaking his head. It was something he regretted and probably would for the rest of his life if not a long time. Looking back to his son when he questioned his statement about having to worry about more than himself. "How would you feel about another sibling?" he questioned quietly.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Jor went silent and still at the question, eyes flickering from Loki’s face to his stomach. “Another sibling?” he asked slowly. “A child from that human?” he asked quickly after. “I will be related to a half human.” He said slowly, shaking his head as he looked to the sea again. the same creatures he had so many problems with, he'd now be related to. “Are you happy with this? This child, this relationship?”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki suddenly felt doubtful about telling his son about the child he was keeping hidden from his mate. He nodded when Jormungandr asked if the child was from Tony and that he would be related to a half human. When Jormungandr turned to look back at the sea Loki reached out hesitantly. "I don't know what of the Mid...humans you have seen my son but Tony is quite different I ask that you give him a chance. Let him show you his brilliance, just because he is human should not fault him. It would be like saying that I should hate all Aesir for what I have experienced from those on Asgard." Loki tried. When asked if he was happy with the child and the relationship he looked away unsure how to answer. "I am happy with Tony, but he does not yet know of the child. All relationships have problems, even with your father everything was not so clear cut." Loki answered carefully skirting around an answer.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Jor listened to his mother, a frown pulling at his lips. He knew the god was telling the truth. He had had little direct interaction with humans especially in recent times, but it was hard to not judge them. Loki’s response to his question made Jormungandr question the truth of his mother’s words. “Mother……when has secrecy ever turned out to be in your favor?” he asked bluntly. Sighing, he shook his head. “But what you do and do not share with your human is not my business. But I do hope well for you and my sibling. I know how long you’ve wished for a happy family, perhaps this will be your chance to have that…..and I will never wish ill for you or them.”