AFG Sallies

[Af Mas]

I bought a mic for my computer, I don't know why xp I'm interested in voice chat sometime if other people are, but I will choose who I want to chat with >_>;  

[Selene Aries]

Af Mas

I bought a mic for my computer, I don't know why xp I'm interested in voice chat sometime if other people are, but I will choose who I want to chat with >_>;

I need a new mic. Got my eye currently that mVox you can win through donating. ninja Though I am aware it would be easier to just go pick up a nice headset from Best Buy. razz  

[FogSage]

Diana Vulpes

Ah, justice has been served, glad to hear. 3nodding

Yeah, that b***h got served with a side a fries, you better recognize.

I would have PAID to see that fight. That would've been ******** hysterical. xd Wish I was there, with a camera, just to take pictures for the hell of it. Good on you, NG. Also......why the hell is Hannah an Asian? Hannah is......a Jewish name, I believe.....>>  

[UglyCoyoteNG]

Dia - yeah, its sore. i can feel the stitches pulling my skin every time i move my arm. -_- and it kinda hurts...but im pretty drugged up so...you get it.

Aff- i'll talk to you tonight if you like. 3nodding

Fog - Shes half asain. She was named after her grandma.

Anyone hear that poor little pluto got kicked out of the solar system? sad big bullies, kickin' the poor little thing out.


in ferret news:

HELL YES. I BEAT THE "BAD MEDICINE TASTE" biggrin ...its called ferretone. i win. e_e; im such a cheat!  

[kogie_wolf]

ok let me give this a shot the problem is where i am staying and how me and my mate are being treated there. for the last 2 weeks or so me and mathais my mate have been staying with a frioend of mine and just about every day this friend has said or done somthign to hurt eather me and mathias and i really don't knwo what to do about it  

[UglyCoyoteNG]

kogie_wolf

ok let me give this a shot the problem is where i am staying and how me and my mate are being treated there. for the last 2 weeks or so me and mathais my mate have been staying with a frioend of mine and just about every day this friend has said or done somthign to hurt eather me and mathias and i really don't knwo what to do about it

Uhm.Move. Or say something about it. neutral  

[Crenn]

I just lost one of my best friends. I don't want to go into too much detail, but they told me that they hate me.  

[Af Mas]

UglyCoyoteNG

Aff- i'll talk to you tonight if you like. 3nodding

Sure! I've only talked to one person with this so far. But I'm pretty boring to talk to I think xd  

[Krissim Klaw]

Blah, so much I want to respond in this thread to, but I am way too zoned out now, so I will leave that for later.

I have arrived after my seven hour drive up to college. Also managed by some luck to get all of my stuff at least up into my room. Slowly going on with the unpacking process. The bad thing is however I got no sleep last night. I didn't even get to lay down to try and sleep. My dad decided at 4:30 am it was time to go, so no sleep for night owl Krissim. To make matters worse, there was no way for me to even nap in the truck because there was to much stuff cluttered around.

Thankfully however, we arrived safely, along with my two mantis boys and their supply of crickets. Poor little mantises, they probably thought they had gone crazy with all the bumps of the drive up here.

I'm tired. e___e  

[Af Mas]

Krissim Klaw

Blah, so much I want to respond in this thread to, but I am way too zoned out now, so I will leave that for later.

I have arrived after my seven hour drive up to college. Also managed by some luck to get all of my stuff at least up into my room. Slowly going on with the unpacking process. The bad thing is however I got no sleep last night. I didn't even get to lay down to try and sleep. My dad decided at 4:30 am it was time to go, so no sleep for night owl Krissim. To make matters worse, there was no way for me to even nap in the truck because there was to much stuff cluttered around.

Thankfully however, we arrived safely, along with my two mantis boys and their supply of crickets. Poor little mantises, they probably thought they had gone crazy with all the bumps of the drive up here.

I'm tired. e___e

Well, at least you survived the trip. You can rest soon, right?  

[Kakarotto-san]

Doomneko

*clipped big post*

A lot of us artists are feeling this way lately. I think I'm in the same rut as you. It feels like no matter how you try it feels like you haven't accomplished anything. That and the feeling you're not appreciated for the hard work you've done when you share it with others.

I haven't been modivated or inspired much lately. What I've drawn was out of boredom and just for fun. Most of them not serious pieces. I've lost the modivation to complete all of the commission work I've got.. That's something I need to do. But I can't seem to focus on them. It's harder to do than my own work, because I have to make sure it's prefect or the person might b***h about it and say it's all wrong..

And lastly, I've come close to considering on not posting art publicly anymore. Only place you would find it online if I do, is on my website and will only be the pieces I choose to post. Because I'm tired of the popluarity contests and the feeling of being unappreciated for the hard work I've done. Even being within fandoms of poplaur things still leaves me feeling unappreciated. Because I tried to create fan-art into masterpieces like my other art pieces and then someone who draws a five-minute doodle that looks horrorible gets their a** kissed like they're heaven sent really discourages me for taking part in the fandom I'm doing art for.

*sighs* I feel like I work too hard for nothing.  

[Crenn]

Just letting you know, if I'm not online as much or I'm offline all the time. It's because I'm either avoiding my computer or I'm dead.  

[Lloxie]

DoomNeko

Or mine. I get called a failure by the 'rents quite often actually, and another 50+ names because I'm not what they would've wanted for a perfect child.

...then again, their expectations crashed prematurely when they expected a boy.

Anyways Nanaki if homeschooling appeals to you, push for it.
The only homeschooling failures I know are the ones who didn't bother to do anything in the first place.
My local highschool? School-wide grades average is around 40-50%.
That's below the minimum requirement for passing.
Public studies doesn't equal passing or quality teaching.

(sorry if I fetched an older post, I felt compelled to add on to this.)

- - - - - - -



...anyways, I'm having another downer.
I just can't seem to hold to that ever-annoyingly-happy self I used to be. Feeling...weaker, and slow, and a bit useless, as it's been over 8 months now that I can't seem to keep my drawing skills up. I've tried again this week, and the result was so bad I ATE the paper so people couldn't take it out of the trash and see it. sweatdrop

Probably seems like I'm making a big fuss out of it for nothing for a good few people around, as even like this I'm likely still "a good artist" in comparison... but I'm a perfectionnist. A jealous, competitive, ego-ridden perfectionnist, whom's only purpose to anything in life has always been drawing, and for the first time in 18 years, I've been unable to draw at full potential for more than half a year.

Then I see younger people around who do so much better than me even though I've consecrated so much of my existance to it. Seeing what other people manage to do usualy motivates me to get better by getting me jealous, so I kick myself up the butt and force myself to get better at it, but now it's just driving me insane! Nothing works right anymore...

Drawing was the only thing I could ever do right. Now I'm just useless. I can barely take care of home, I can't keep a job long enough to warrant saying I had it, I can barely cook, hell I can't even take care of myself properly anymore. I eat when my stomach hurts and I sleep when I collapse. There's a few mornings I didn't even bother getting up from the couch, even though I wasn't always sleeping, until someone would get me off by kicking me in the sides or something. xX;
Ome and Caitie are probably worried too because I haven't been able to stay up like I used to., and I keep breaking down and falling asleep halfway through the night, though tonight I took a short catnap beforehand, in an attempt to stay up longer.

I'm just a complete wreck, and I keep defaulting to videogames as an escape to try and cheer myself up, try to have some fun to compromise and make myself happy, for however short that lasts, but videogames can only do so much. I still know I'm stuck here, and that I can't budge neither transition-wise nor on getting together with Ome and Caitie. The only option I have is getting a job, but nobody in town is hiring, and even if they did, it took a miracle at a place I was member of for 15 years to get a job back when I was decentkly happy. It can only be harder now withmy state of affairs. u_u

I don't know what to do anymore.
I wish I could just say "******** it." and hit the reset button, but this is real.
There's no reset button. I only have one life, and I'm already close to having spent 20 years of it stuck in a body that I seriously want to carve up with a knife, adn I've lost the only thing I had going for me.
All I have left is Ome and Caitie, and the fcking US/Canada border laws are preventing me from reaching them.


The worst of it all is that I can see I have a problem.
I want to try, and maybe, hopefully get things to change, but my morale's gotten to the point I don't even care anymore. I just want out. U-U

*hugs Doomie super tightly* Merf. You really need to get away from your parents. >.< Best of luck to ya in finding a job and getting out of there. <@.@> In a way I kinna know how you feel. A lot of times I want out so much it hurts. Just to be free and independant... it taunts me. >-o

But yeah. I imagine your art will improve once other areas of your life do. It seems to me you do your best art when you're in a good mood. Either when you're hyper and silly, excited (like just before Ome came to visit you, remember?), or just generally happy. So if I were you I'd try and fix the other things before you worry much more about your art. *snuggles*

Seems to me you need to eat and sleep more. Staying up all the time and rarely eating is most definately -not- healthy. I imagine it's finally catching up to ya... and believe me, I know first hand how much that can affect the way you feel overall. <@.@> Getting the right ammount of sleep can make worlds of difference. Also, you probably need to get out and do something to break the monotany (sp?) of life a bit. I find that that helps me tremendously when I'm feeling like that.

Anyway... I know you may be sick of hearing it, but also, your friends are here for you. You're never 'useless' or anything of the sort. We care about you and want things to be better for you. Just hang in there and don't give up. :3 *nuzzles*  

[Lloxie]

Crenn

Just letting you know, if I'm not online as much or I'm offline all the time. It's because I'm either avoiding my computer or I'm dead.

... *clings and huggles Crenn* Why?  

[Crenn]

Because currently, there is only one that loves me. And apparently it's my fault for not being with her.

Edit: I'll let you read the email

Quote:

yes, i have heard that quote before. you love her? then ******** off to america! if youe not going to; stop complaining about it!

and dont give me none of this "no signs" bullshit.. My exact words were "ive just had one of the worst days of my life" oh, but guess what, your next message after that was about you! and trying to be a good, understanding friend. I sat and listened to your problems and ignored my own.

"steer the conversation to what i need"? how the ******** am i supposed to do
that. Im always too busy trying to solve your problems that you bombard me with.

If you did care crenn, you would show it. maybe not a lot. but it would be there.. I get nothing from you.

In all honesty, you might as well keep me blocked. I dont want to talk to you on MSN anymore. I hate the way you make me feel whenever we talk. I can -only just- bare conversing with you via e-mail.

so yeah.. whatever