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▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ Vixen | Tsubasa Guardian Spirit | Kitsune
❛I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand.
And the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow.
I wish I had a thousand words for snow,
But all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep,

,,and there are no words for that.❜
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○I'm feeling dreadful and restless.
●I'm speaking to Zara at the moment.
○I'm currently wearing off shoulder.
●I have $200 on me and $800 stashed in the bank.
○I currently have feelings for no one.

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Vixen has her own problems to worry about. Then, there’s Crevan and Angel. The fox could only heave a small sigh at the thought of them both. Honestly, why does love have to be so complicated? Why can’t it be just pink and fluff, and a little dirty in between the sheets. That seemed like the perfect love story, really, but no. One had to walk on broken glass, stand before them with your feet bleeding out only for them to complain about how broken you are and walk away. Even if you found ‘the one’, they would simply vanish one day, without a single trace, without any warning. It left a painful after effect. Vixen would walk down the streets, and there would be someone who passed by, someone who seemed so familiar. She would be hopeful, and even if it’s just a little.. when she turned around, he wasn’t there. He never was.

"I've had better days." Zara mentioned. That’s true. ”We all do, to be honest.” countered the fox, her expression turning into quite the miserable one though it would only be short-lived. There was no need to be so gloomy, not when Zara came by to get some laughs from the little vixen. ”You can talk to me about anything, y’know? I don’t want you to carry so much weight on your shoulders, not when you can share it with me.” the fox reassured, holding her hand like they once would as they skipped down the walkways of the mall. That moment would only last for a split second, before the both of them started biting each other’s heads off. When Zara squealed in return, the fox would feel as if she had travelled back in time. When was the last time they squealed like this? Laugh like they were mad? Vixen couldn’t remember. ”But you know what. A little overnight cuddles would do just the trick. I’m crashing at your place tonight.” she paused. ”And I’m also getting my hands on those macaroons.”

The fox popped a chilli pepper into her mouth, feeling the heat burn upon her tongue. It was painful, but it tasted amazing though it seems, there was something else that caught her attention. ”Alex has a girlfriend?! No way. You’re lying.” the fox jumped and her jaw dropped, her eyes threatening to fall out of their sockets altogether. Alexander. The Alexander. ”It’s not just a one time thing, is it?” she’d ask, remembering just how horrible his attempt was at comforting her when she had a nervous breakdown at one point. That man would cringe at the slightest bit of physical affection. Vixen somehow laughed, finding the situation a little unbelievable though even so, Zara wasn’t the type to lie about these things. The fox would be happy for Alex, that was for sure. ”Well.. girlfriend or not, it’s about damn time.” at least he’s not cooped up in the house all day long. She wondered who that girl was, how she’s able to seduce that.. that-.. man.

”You know, the funny thing is, as much as he complains, he still eats it anyway.” the fox chuckled as she shook her head, though the atmosphere tensed pretty quickly when she witnessed how Zara emptied her glass in one shot. So she was that stressed out. Vixen simply stared at the siren while her hands waved for the bartender. It seems they won’t be leaving this establishment drunk, then. ”Give me a whole bottle of whiskey-” she ordered, still fairly shaken by the fact the siren wasted that delicious wine Vixen loved so much, but it wasn’t the first time it happened. Who was she to complain. She should have known. Now the siren just wasn’t letting Vixen off the hook after insulting her breasts, and Vixen could only roll her eyes at the comment that followed after. ”Oh, come on. Lady assets are what’s important in this world. They’re soft, bouncy, and they feel like heaven. I’d grope myself anytime. I know you would too.” countered the fox, laughing in between. There was never a reason behind why Vixen kisses Zara, to be honest. Perhaps she just felt a tad too comfortable, or perhaps it was just the way she is. Overly affectionate. She kissed Crevan and Iris, too, it didn’t really matter to her.

The fox raised her eyebrows when Zara seemed a tad surprised and Vixen laughed. ”Two times, to be exact. I got caught up in the moment- It was an accident, I swear! But oh, Zara!” Vixen felt the warmth cloud her cheeks, and she’d cup them with her hands. ”There was Dylan. And you wouldn’t believe who the second one is. Don’t get mad at me.” the fox looked around, before bringing her hand up to the side of her mouth.

”It was Sahar.” the fox whispered, and she would feel a little strange as she fidgeted around on her seat. ”He was so different, Zara! He was like this beast! It was so wild so-.. So- Oh~!” the fox turned to the counter, taking her wine glass and chugged down her drink. Who cares about expensive wine at this point. ”But I broke down in front of him after that and it was so embarrassing! It wasn’t like me!”

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▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ Vixen | Tsubasa Guardian Spirit | Kitsune
❛I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand.
And the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow.
I wish I had a thousand words for snow,
But all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep,

,,and there are no words for that.❜
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○I'm feeling dreadful and restless.
●I'm speaking to Zara at the moment.
○I'm currently wearing off shoulder.
●I have $200 on me and $800 stashed in the bank.
○I currently have feelings for no one.

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Vixen was worried. Zara has been this way ever since Tsukasa left. The fox wouldn’t blame her for being this way. She remember how the siren spoke of him when they had their late night talks. That Tsukasa guy. Vixen cursed the likes of him for doing such a thing. She remembered crying with her best friend. She remembered binge eating and drinking. They were both a mess, but the fox didn’t mind. If it meant shouldering the burden together, Vixen didn’t mind how messed up they’d get. It wasn’t everyday one could find a friend to care for so deeply. ”What made us so close to begin with? I really don’t remember. All I know was that I hated your guts at first.” the fox chuckled, attempting to lighten the tensed atmosphere. Golden orbs eventually found their way back to the pair of sapphire ones that would seem just a tad exhausted and restless, but they would glimmer at the thought of a sleepover. ”It feels like it’s so long ago since I last slept at your place. It feels like it’s been so long since I last seen both you and Alex. I don’t even recall what I’ve been doing, really.”

Vixen still found it utterly unbelievable that Alexander has a girlfriend, or what could barely be considered a girlfriend. A sex partner, perhaps, but it looks like it wasn’t a one night kind of thing for Alexander. Vixen poured herself a glass a whiskey, and she’d take it like a shot. The slow burn was enjoyable, and she could feel her shoulders simply relaxing, the tension leaving her muscles. ”Ah.. That means I can stop by your place for food starting from now on. That girl sounds nice, though, what’s she like?” the fox asked, her eyes flickering with curiosity though when she found out her clothes were in the laundry, Vixen would seem just a little amused. ”So like.. the clothes don’t smell fishy now, do they? You know, those stuff usually destroys your clothes, too. The smell, I mean.” she shrugged, but when Zara mentioned how it was the sex that kept them going on for so long, Vixen would gag too. The fox laughed, yet at the same time, that could probably be the reason why. No, that seemed exactly like the reason why, didn’t it? Well, she could be wrong. When Zara impersonated Alex, the fox laughed even harder. That was what he’d say, isn’t it? That sounded exactly like him. ”I remember how he’d seem all offended when I said he was distant.. He was like.. ‘I'm not distant. You're just pretty ******** annoying. Especially with Zara.’" and the fox would pull the ugliest expression she could manage. Vixen shook her head, laughing ever so slightly. That Alex. ”Do you think like.. maybe just a little..? The both of them?” it seemed unlikely, but maybe just a super super tiny part within him would be fond of that girl?

Vixen has definitely noticed the change in Zara, but the fox would leave her be for now. There was no need to stop her, if this was her way of letting loose. As long as she wasn’t doing anything dangerous, endangering her health and such, but the fox would stop her if she feels that Zara would turn into an addict. The siren chuckled at her words, and Vixen would want to dig a hole and bury herself within it. Zara didn’t react much when it came to the first name, but when the fox spoke of Sahar.. in that split second, Zara’s expression froze and Vixen would realize what she had done. Her expression cringed, and she’d appear a tad guilty. ”Oh, Zara..” the fox heaved a soft sigh. Vixen wouldn’t say much, for she knew the siren knows that no matter what, the fox would always rush to her side if she needed the fox. The next few words would throw her off guard, and the fox countered almost instantly. ”No way! Do you know what you’re saying?!” she huffed and puffed, to which her face eventually fell.

”It’s just a fling, that’s all. And speaking of love, Dylan he.. caught feelings for me after that, it just- I felt so bad after. It felt like I used him, which in some way, I guess I did..” the fox paused, and she’d downcast her gaze, twiddling with her fingers. ”I don’t think I’m ready to love someone. I don’t know when I’d be. I just look for him in every other person and even when we’re in the middle of it, I just can’t help but think of someone else. It’s so- it’s just-.. painful. I ended up crying- I don’t know why. I guess I just held it in for too long- all those pent up stress, it just came when he’d treat me so gently. I don’t like that-..” and as she spoke, her hands reached for the bottle, pouring herself a glass of whiskey in the process. Her cheeks were warm, whether it be from embarrassment, or simply the alcohol itself. She felt strange when people were gentle with her, like she was some prized possession. She wasn’t. ”I don’t need love. All I need is sex. Some good, rough sex that leaves your legs shaking, and your body aching. That’s what this life is all about. In the end, it always comes down to sex.” and there goes her second glass. Here she was, trying to lighten the mood yet in the end, it was still her who made this more gloomy than it already is.

”It’s been going on for a while and I guess I’m already used to it. Sometimes, I’d catch a familiar face in the crowd, and I’d get a little hopeful, I’d start wishing it was real but then I’d catch myself following the silhouette of someone else- someone who just shares the same aspects as him, and that feeling of being let down. It’s horrible.”

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▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ Vixen | Tsubasa Guardian Spirit | Kitsune
❛I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand.
And the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow.
I wish I had a thousand words for snow,
But all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep,

,,and there are no words for that.❜
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○I'm feeling dreadful and restless.
●I'm speaking to Zara at the moment.
○I'm currently wearing off shoulder.
●I have $200 on me and $800 stashed in the bank.
○I currently have feelings for no one.

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”..and what’s so frustrating about this is that we were fighting over a lacey lingerie. The last pair, to be exact. I forgot what sort of insult you threw at me but I was pretty damn sure I nearly sliced your head off.” Vixen laughed, wondering if that was the day they first met. Vixen didn’t quite remember, but she was sure something of the sorts happened, because she remembered making Zara pay for the lingerie the fox tore out of frustration. Normally, she wouldn’t behave that way, and back then, Vixen still looked human without her tails and all. She wasn’t the foxy lady everyone knew though the markings of what seemed like whiskers on her cheeks grabbed a lot of attention. ”Ugh. You’re the reincarnation of satan himself. I’m surprised we became friends. Best friends-” the fox rolled her eyes, toying with her half filled glass of whiskey. It was torturous how they were both pushing each other’s buttons. Perhaps it was because they were similar in some ways that they knew what irked each other most but by the end of the day, the fox knew she couldn’t stay mad at the siren for too long. What would she ever do if her main source of entertainment were to disappear from her side.

”I don’t know-” Vixen paused, giving it a couple of thoughts for once. ”..maybe if the sex is really, really good..? Like- if it’s a heavenly bliss?” she cringed, but it was nice knowing she’s a good girl. It would be a funny pair, though, but the fox is happy for him. As genuine as it could get. ”Oh, I guess I’m in a similar situation at one point. You know my brother, he just does things at his pace. You’d walk into some place and you’d catch them doing the do. Ugh! You don’t even have to see them to know what’s happening. It just gets real wild and loud-” Vixen frowned, clutching her head and tugging on her ears out of frustration. She doesn’t mind, really, but it’s just really bothersome at some point. ”You know what bothers me most? It’s the fact that he shares the same face as you. Like you’re watching yourself ******** some dude in the a**- god help me- I just pray that this d**k would fall off some times.” but lately, things haven’t been right for the both of them, and with the house becoming quiet, Vixen started getting a little uncomfortable. Vixen shrugged, knowing that Alex preferred keeping things private, and Vixen would have a strange thought, one similar to Zara’s, probably a little more disturbing. ”Ugh! Do you think he’d lend her your lingerie’s after some point-? He doesn’t hoard those dirty ones, does he?” and here they were, silently judging people behind their backs, which made up about half of their friendship and usual conversations.

The laugh Zara gave didn’t go unnoticed, and Vixen would simply shoot her the look. The “Did I just hear you laugh.” kind of look. The “You did not just-” kind of eyes though the fox let it slide when the siren apologized. ”You’re lucky you’re so precious. I would have kicked you off this chair if you weren’t-” she huffed, though as far as she’d exaggerate, the fox would only speak in a halfhearted manner. Then came the reason behind that laugh. Vixen slammed her drink upon the table, a loud ”I knew it!” echoing throughout the establishment, followed by a couple of exasperated sighs from the customers. ”I knew there’s something wrong! There’s this vibe you both give off that just doesn’t seem right!” Leon made it quite obvious though, regarding his feelings towards Zara, and the fox couldn’t help but feel a tad sorry for him. ”Wrong timing maybe..? Do you think you guys would have become a thing if.. he was never around..?” and at this point, Vixen was walking on eggshells. She didn’t want to upset her friend, but she wanted to sate her curiosity, too.

She felt a small weight lift off of her shoulders when she spoke of her problems. It was always with the siren that she felt she could let loose, just let things run out of her mouth without a single care but at this point, if she kept such a conversation going, the fox was going to be a dead drunk before the sun sets. ”I’m sorry.” ”Me, too. I feel sorry for myself. How I stooped to such a level despite how I kept saying ‘it’ll get better.’ God knows just how many decades it’s been since then. Centuries, maybe? I’m just stuck here.” the fox whined, but she knew she couldn’t remain this way forever. ”I guess.. I really did love him, and I probably wouldn’t love anyone as hard as I did him.”

She’d down her glass, toying with it for a short while before setting it down upon the counter. It was only after she met those two siblings that the fox had slowly recovered, and god knows what would have become of her if they weren’t there. ”Oh, what would I do without you. You guys.. You and Alex. You both just play such a big role in my life. I already sense an attachment-”

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▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ Vixen | Tsubasa Guardian Spirit | Kitsune
❛I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand.
And the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow.
I wish I had a thousand words for snow,
But all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep,

,,and there are no words for that.❜
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○I'm feeling dreadful and restless.
●I'm speaking to Zara at the moment.
○I'm currently wearing off shoulder.
●I have $200 on me and $800 stashed in the bank.
○I currently have feelings for no one.

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"Then maybe hell isn't so bad after all. If any place with you is hell, it doesn't seem too horrible." Vixen rolled her eyes, laughing at Zara's comment.

Though it seems, the situation soon turned hellish for Zara once Vixen started speaking of her brother's sex life. To be honest, she wondered if it was ever embarrassing for them both to be walked in on. She knows Crevan doesn't pay much mind to it, since they were animals to begin with. But for Angel.. that poor guy.

"My virgin ears..."
"Oh, come on. Nothing about you screams 'virgin', you little slut." the fox rolled her eyes, and their bickering would soon begin.

Then again, Vixen wasn't all that different either with her little mischief. However, speaking of the main issue, it was hard for the little 'thing' going on between Leon and Zara to go unnoticed. The air was a little tensed, somehow and the way Leon looks at her, the lustful look within his eyes. Vixen cringed, finding it a memory quite uncomfortable to recall. Crevan, of course, had to point out the obvious, which didn't really help much at all. Vixen assumed Zara had moved on from Tsukasa, but seeing the way she's behaving, how she slowly became rather.. bitter, Vixen knew she was wrong. Apparently, it had been going on since New Years, but as for how they had discovered each other, Vixen decided to leave that for another day.

"But then it happened again afterwards. It's so tempting!" and very tempting, indeed.
"I guess sometimes.. sex isn't the best solution after all. But it just gives you that out of the world experience, especially if they know what they're doing." the fox paused eventually, a sly smile tugging the corner of her lips. "Well..?" Vixen nudged, "Was he good? Y'know, tricks and all." she chuckled.

Vixen wouldn't speak another word when Zara spoke of that man. The siren wasn't sure of what she felt towards Tsukasa. Vixen felt anger bubble within the confinements of her chest for a short second there. She noticed how hurt her friend had been, how bitter she became after he left. The fox didn't know what to do, especially when her words didn't seem to get through to the siren back then. It's as if she had shut down completely. She took a deep breath, tapping her index finger impatiently against the counter. "I hope he never comes back, but if he does- I'm just saying if- I'll properly sock him in the face." the fox huffed as her lips eventually curved downwards into a frown, deepening at the thought of that silver haired man. "Whatever. I never liked him anyway." and that was partially true. He had this strange air around him, that smile that seem to come off a little 'off' to her. Vixen had thought it was simply her misjudgment, but it seems, there really is something wrong with him after all. "You're a b***h most of the time. You're horrible and I can't stand you at all, but you're still an amazing person. You're super, super precious. Tits and all. It's his loss. Jerk." she'd compliment Zara every now and then, but of course, she wouldn't do so without throwing in a couple of insults here and there.

Her thoughts would eventually return to what the siren had said in the middle of her sentence earlier. "Why does he matter? I didn't even love him. We weren't even together." and she would somehow think of her situation with Sahar. What became of them, really. The fox doesn't know. He was fun to have around, but then.. "I.. don't get what's happening between Sahar and I? There's always this air of intimacy between us. Hand holding and stuff. I don't know.. it just feels weird. I've been avoiding him ever since Valentine's." she huffed and puffed. Neither one of them were interested in dating one another, but there was some strange attraction that sparked between the both of them. It wasn't love, neither was it lust. The fox couldn't put a finger on what it was, so in the end, she ran away. That's what she always did, wasn't it? Running away from her problems.

She downcast her gaze for a short second before the pair of golden orbs found their way back to her. She wondered if Zara would be alright. Vixen knew she shouldn't treat her friend like a child, but the fox just couldn't help but worry about her well-being. However, her worries seem to subside once she heard the siren's laughter. It always sounded like melody to her ears. The fox laughed in return, surprised at the 'I love you' she had received in return. "Funny. I never thought you could say such sentimental things." Vixen laughed. "But, I know. Who wouldn't love me anyway."

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▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ Vixen | Tsubasa Guardian Spirit | Kitsune
❛I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand.
And the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow.
I wish I had a thousand words for snow,
But all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep,

,,and there are no words for that.❜
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

○I'm feeling dreadful and restless.
●I'm speaking to Zara at the moment.
○I'm currently wearing off shoulder.
●I have $200 on me and $800 stashed in the bank.
○I currently have feelings for no one.

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The reddening of her cheeks didn’t go unnoticed, and the fox would anticipate what she said next. This Leon guy managed to handle someone like her, according to the siren. It came off a little surprising, since the fox had always assumed Zara was one who’s initiate such a thing. Then again, perhaps not. ”Ah- I remember you talking about how you liked Alpha males-” answered the woman as she pondered over the late night talks they used to share. That was a long time ago now that she recalled. It was nice knowing they could relive it again tonight, with the addition of snacks and all, but would it be fine if she left Crevan on his own? The fox paused, her body tensing up at the thought of her twin but her worries were dismissed rather quickly. It’s just one night. It would be fine.

All and all, it was still fun to know what that Leon guy did, though. ”My god, Zara. I didn’t think you’d be so embarrassed over this.” the fox laughed, her cheeks already turning red from the whiskey she downed at one shot. They fell silent and she wouldn’t mind. It was the comfortable kind of silence shared between friends, the kind of silence that just helps you relax, knowing someone’s there to keep you company.

Then came the talk about Tsukasa.

Vixen frowned at the thought of him. Sure, he knew how to ruffle the feathers, knew his way around words, but there was sohmething that irked her at first sight. The vibe he gave off, perhaps? Or was it the facade he held up all these while? He’s super polite. Too polite to her liking. Everything he did seems to scream perfection and the fox couldn’t find it anymore disturbing. ”Alex said the same thing.” and Vixen smiled. He was a strange man, awkward and all. ”Of course he would. You’re his sister. It’s not hard to tell that he loves you.” and she did, too. Her best friend, her family. Though the next set of words that came out of Zara’s mouth sent the fox into despair. A crush? Vixen returned the expression: furrowed eyebrows, restless eyes. Her expression fell altogether and she’d simply rest her head upon the counter while she cried out. ”Nooooo.. Don’t you dare-” she huffed and she puffed, kicking her legs about as she threw her childish tantrum. It wasn’t a crush. She didn’t like anybody. Definitely not Sahar. She was just caught up in the moment, that’s all. Yes. That’s it. ”How can I even crush on someone when all I can think about is him? That’s impossible. You’re wrong-” she pushed herself up, pouring her third glass of whiskey. She didn’t have the strength to love someone. Not again. Foxes only find a single mate, it was something that went about. Vixen found (and lost) hers, and she would never find another. The siren whined about being in-love, and the fox wouldn’t ddny hrr statement. It was the truth. Falling in love makes you blind, makes you weak. That’s what happened to Vixen, wasn’t it? She grabbed her glass of whiskey and held it towards Zara, a rather determined expression on her face. ”Cheers to sex, and to never get involved with love! Cheers to no heartbreaks- No crying outselves to sleep- No-.. No..” her voice eventuallu died down, and her voice would crack. Vixen didn’t know what else to say, so instead, she’d take a deep breath, and empty her glass’ contents. She let out a small groan. Oh, that burned.

”You better tell me you love me more often or I might just leave you alone forever.” she’d shove Zara’s hand away while she continued resting her head upon the cold, marble counter. Oh, how absolutely pleasant life had been for her, for them both.

”I think I’m going to stop- the sex, I mean. Just for now, though.. I don’t want to get involved with any sort of feelings.”

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▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ Vixen | Tsubasa Guardian Spirit | Kitsune
❛I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand.
And the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow.
I wish I had a thousand words for snow,
But all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep,

,,and there are no words for that.❜
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

○I'm feeling dreadful and restless.
●I'm speaking to Zara at the moment.
○I'm currently wearing off shoulder.
●I have $200 on me and $800 stashed in the bank.
○I currently have feelings for no one.

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"I'm not embarrassed!"

She'd roll her eyes and shoot the siren another look. "You're sooo bad at lying. Look at you, blushing and all!" for some reason, Vixen always liked to stir things up in their conversation, whether it be with Alex or Zara. The both of them were easy targets, two people she found quite enjoyable to poke fun at other than being good company and listeners. Though there are also times where her little mischief would backfire on her, and send her into a hole she'd bury herself in forever. Good times, aren't they? "Zara! That's a super big booger in your nose!" and Vixen certainly wasn't having Zara's little act of protest. It's funny, how the siren would try to appear just a tad bigger whenever she feels threatened, or anything of the sort. Did she think she would grow taller? The fox turned away and snicker at the thought, only stopping when she painfully bit down on her lip.

The fox had spent so much time hanging around the siren that she realized she had picked up some fairly similar habits in the process. Or perhaps they were just simply similar, both equally as childish. "Ugh. You're definitely the uglier one." countered the fox immediately. By no means would she ever let the chance of insulting her friend slip from her hands. Maybe things wasn't as horrible as it seems. Maybe someday, the both of them would find love but for now, the fox would prefer to stay away, to simply have time for herself while she recovers. Perhaps she could find herself in the process. Maybe she wasn't as 'slutty' as people deemed her to be.

Though upon hearing Zara repeating her words mockingly, the fox would punch her right at her chest. It wasn't hard enough to leave a bruise, but she still exerted enough force to make it hurt. A tit punch, they call it. "That's for refusing to tell me you love me." she huffed and puffed, but the sentence that followed after simply made the fox quiet down. Hell or not, wherever the siren went, the fox was bound to follow.

"I guess I'm going to be stuck with you for the rest of my life-" Vixen shrugged, toying around with her empty glass. It was barely evening, and here she was, already beginning to feel a tad tipsy

"Spare me. I'm already tired just thinking of how I'm gonna deal with a fifty year old version of you."

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