Lines You'll Never Hear

[Darkened Angel]

Boba: * looking at DA's last post * HAHA! Now YOU'RE the one getting sexually harrassed. Consider it payback for making me get naked before, b***h!

* Palpatine comes in *

Palpatine: Boba Fett!
Boba: Yeah, what?
Palpatine: Take off your armor, your clothes, and bend over!
Boba: Hell n-
Palpatine: NOW!
Boba: * starting to * DA, you'll pay for this, I swear!
Palpatine: * pulls out a rather large stick * Prepare to be a human Shishkaboba! Heheh, I said " Shishkaboba, " and you're name is Boba! HA! I'm funny!  

[Nelowulf]

Luke: Where's Chewy?

Han: I had to get a new co-pilot while Chewy is on vacation. Meet... CHEWBROCCOLI!

Chewbroccoli: Rawr!  

[Nospai Deathous]

(cont'd)
Han: And where's Mara?
Luke: She's on vacation, so I got a new wife... Mara JADAR!
In walks Dash Rendar, dressed in drag
Han: .............no. Just, no.
CHewbroccoli: Rawr!  

[Nelowulf]

(cont.)

Luke: Oh come on... What's next, R2 is on vacation?

R2: Beep-boop.

Han: What's he saying?

Luke: He said no, but C-3P0 is out... and replaced by C3Peanuts.

C3Pnut: How do you do?

Luke: shut up. Now about this message... Wait, where's obi-wan?

C3Pnut: It seems he's on vacation too... Meet: Obi-wan Canoli!

Obi: Hey! and look! Its Princess Lettuce Organic!  

[Nospai Deathous]

Han: Dammit! Jabba's here... say, who's that little creature with him?
Jabba: San donawangie Delacious Crumb-cake! Ho ho ho ho!
Luke: And who's that yellow bounty hunter standing with him?
Han: Oh, that's just Boba Fettuccini
Boba: And... we have a new singer... Sai Noodles
Everyone stares in shock- he had the longest line sisnce Empire
C3Peanuts: Will it never end?
C-3PO suddenly returns
C-3PO: that's MY line! *b***h slaps C3Peanuts- catfight ensues*
Chewbroccoli: Rawr!  

[Nelowulf]

Luke: Dear god...

Cuke: I'm here to replace soemone named luke, who's going out on vacation?

Luke: no, I'm not, and who are you?

Cuke: I'm Cuke skywalker. I've also brought Ham Solo along!

Ham: Hey! Chewbroccoli!

Chewbroccoli: Rawr! *highfive*

Han: This is getting out of hand.

Darth Tater: Tell me about it.

Yogurt: Yup.

Luke: HAS EVERYONE BECOME A FOOD ITEM?

Mara Jendar: Not me...

Han: ARG!

Emperor Potato: Hey, is this where the party is?

Luke: *cuts head off potato*

Han: Woah kid...

Luke: Okay... okay... someoen else must still be here. Wedge?

Wedge: I'm here. Wedge Anchovie at your service.

Han: *slaps head*  

[Nospai Deathous]

Eggs Darklighter: Hey! Miss me?
Cuke: Eggs! I thought you were dead?
Eggs: what're you talking about? I was just on vacation!
Daqeri Ralter: Me too!
Jet Pork: Me three!
Cuke: Awesome! Let's party! (Jet, your name wasn't hard to come up with)
*crash*
Mince Windu: This party's over!
Disembodied head of Potato: Hey! I thought I killed you!
Mince Windu: Nah! I was just on vacation!
Han: ... Now /I/ need a vacation!
Luke: Me too.
*they leave*
Band of food-themed star wars characters: Hooray! The alternate food universe has taken over!
Mara Jadar: And me.
BOF-TSWC: Uhhhh.........  

[Nelowulf]

Cuke: What about that black dude?

Ham: What about him?

Mace: Yea, what about the "black dude"?

Cuke: Shouldn't you be on vacation still?

*door slams open*

Ham: Hey, its Mace Vindaloo! (vindaloo is a soup)

MV: Hey! Hey Mace Windu, arent' you supposed to be on vacation?

MW: I don't think so. But since I'm "supposed" to be... *leaves*

Lettuce Organic: Hey, Who else we missing?

MV: I brought a friend or two. Meet Trout Dooku, General Beer, and Grand Malt Tarkin!  

[Darkened Angel]

A mishap happens when the Death Star fires, causing a chain reaction that transports the entire universe into the dimension of random events.

Palpatine: Okay, what the Hell just happened?

* in comes Vader, in a Superman costume *

Vader: Never fear, citizens of Death Star, I am here to save you. Up, Over, and Around! * attempts to fly out the window, but crashes into it and is KOed on the floor *
Palpatine: Okay, that was wei-* spontaniously explodes for no apparent reason *
Stormie: I got the need... the need for speed! * pulls out the hoverboard Marty McFly has in Back to the Future 2 * WOOHOO! * crashes into another stormie *

( Meanwhile, onboard the Falcon )

Han: Check out my newest modification. HIT IT, CHEWIE! * Chewie presses a button, causing a strobe light to activate *
Luke: Whoa! That's cool. I... AAAAGGGGHHHH!!! UGGGHHHH! BLAAARRRRRRRUUUUGGGGHHHH! * he dies somehow *
Han: Oh crap, Luke had a siezure. * barfs his guts out and dies *
C3P0: Oh dear. This seems to be getting weird. ERROR! SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED! * blows up *
R2: Hola amigo! ... ??? ... Yo hablo Espanol! Es loco...
Leia: I feel funny... * suddenly has even bigger tracts of land * ... Okay, this isn't so bad... Maybe I'm the lucky one?
R2: Hubba hubba! AWOOGA! AWOOGA! * gets so excited he overloads his CPU, causing it to explode *
Chewie: Meow! Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... * scratches on the pilot seat *
Leia: This has been one weird day...  

[Nelowulf]

((you killed Supermarket wars... and you didn't even clone the new leia either... crying ))  

[Nospai Deathous]

((note: i said /mince/ windu. as in, the meat.))

Yoda: Luke... Luke... there is... another.... trilogy............
Luke: Wha?
Yoda starts to disappear, then suddenly comes back
Yoda: Crap! I mean, uh, Skywalker, another Skywalker. there's no more trilogies to come! hahahaha! what're you talking about? this is the only one! the original! *dies*
Luke: ...since Yoda was obviously hysterical, i'm not going to believe anything he said.

...yay! I /am/ an only child!  

[Nelowulf]

((oh well.. now there are two... and continuing on your last line...))

Luke: I am an only child!

That means I get leia... Though it still somehow feels so wrong.. I'll think about it later.  

[Nospai Deathous]

Luke leaves hastily/lustily, totally forgetting the 'vader is his father bit'

Obi-Wan: Wait, Luke! Hey! Come back!

.......I was gonna make espresso... ((if you get that, you are a god))

At the briefing, Luke enters triumphantly.

Luke: Leia! Sweet cheeks! Sexy! *suggestive purr* I likes yo sweet a**, baby. Let's retrieve that slave outfit, and i can be your "master." *giggle*
Leia: *pushes han out of the way* oh my god, i've been waiting for you to say something like that! ravish me, luke!
R2-D2, who knows what's going on: booooooooooooop! ^_~  

[Darkened Angel]

( cont. )

C3P0: Oh dear. You think we should tell them the truth?
R2: Beep boob * whir * boop boop.
C3P0: You're right. This is too good to spoil. Plus, I wanna see their faces when they find out AFTER they go too far. Heheh.  

[Missing00]

leia: oh luke that was awsome.
luke: Yeah, I didnt know you could twist like that.
Obi-wan: eek I just came to warn you but I guess Im too late.
luke: warn me about what ben?
obi: I thought we went over this, my name is not ben
luke: yes it is
obi: no its not
luke: yes it is
obi: no its not
luke: yeeesss
obi: nooo
luke: yeeesss
obi: nooo!
luke: yes
obi: no
luke: yes
obi: no
luke: yes
obi: no
luke: yes
obi: arrrgghh *gets ghosty light saber and trys to slice luke but fails*
leia: obi-wan? what is it you wanted to say?
obi: what? oh yeah. luke, yoda told you but your dumb as sh** you didnt take it seriously so Ill tell you the only way a spooky ghost jedi can. *voice gets big* LUKE LEIA IS YOUR SISTER!!!
luke: nnooooooooo!!! it cant be....its impossible.
leia: wha-?! oh well...wanna have kinky incest sex?
luke: do I ever!
obi: oi-veh