201 ΡδρζαΓ

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
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sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】

Of course barking orders in his mother tongue had always come natural to him. But the German was more for Micha than himself. In the early days of their post break-up he'd thought of going to Germany to look for him. Despite how much he'd been told he hated the place, he often wondered if that was where he escaped to. It was a fleeting thought, one that never stuck around long. But now and again he did wonder. Thus he began dabbing a bit with the language just in case the urge became something more. Retreating away from the male, he leaned against the chair. Kissing and talking were fine. But he needed to know. Where was this headed? If they got back together there would be no such thing as "taking it slow". He'd wasted enough time trying to forget and move on. How he wished it were possible to just jump right back into the same mindset that he had this time last year. No doubts, no fear, just love and determination.

Samuel listened to the male speak and nodded as he was given his options. "Don't do that......you already know which one I want to choose. And if memory serves correctly I gave you similar options in Paris." He pushed his hair back with both hands and let out a heavy sigh. He looked up with towards the male with pleading eyes. Getting back together would great. Even better if it weren't for the fact that for twelve months he'd been trying to give up the ghost. Micha was practically a stranger now. He didn't know where he lived, where he'd been, or if he was even planning on sticking around. He needed more than being told he was loved and missed. If that was selfish, he couldn't help it. "Y'know what......I really can't make any kind of decision on this right now. It's long day and I'm starving. Do you mind if we take this conversation to my place? Cause I needed food like two hours ago." He was obviously stalling. But it was also the truth. He just needed a little more time to think. Some food in his system, a change of clothes, and more importantly a change of scenery ought to help with that.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

Germany was the last and first place he would ever go. He had already told Samuel before that if he were to runaway he would go home. Micha had been half telling the truth and half lying. He would go home to Germany, because he couldn’t stay in Paris. Micha had already lost his image of the city. He didn’t think it would be a place he would ever visit again.

Giving Samuel options was the best way to get things through. He knew Samuel had given him options but before he didn’t want them. Micha just needed his space, which he was regretting now. He listened as Samuel spoke hearing the pain in his voice. Micha saw no other alternative. He didn’t even know if Samuel wanted him anymore. In his own way he was feeling insecure, as if Samuel was throwing him away as he had done him. Micha didn’t blame him if he did, he only had himself to blame.

He stood there watching Samuel, as he hadn’t moved away from the door. Micha listened as Samuel spoke. He could understand if he couldn’t make a decision right now, he wasn’t expecting one. All he really wanted was for Samuel to think about it. Micha shook his head as Samuel spoke, ”I don’t mind...I could eat as well. ” He spoke feeling hungry as well. As he didn’t get a chance to eat before coming over after getting off the plane.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
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sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】

At this point and time he wasn't doing anything to the male. He was neither accepting to be his boyfriend again nor dumping him here in his office. He didn't really know what to do and it wasn't a decision he wanted to make before sunrise. But the way he was acting so jumpy it almost felt as though he would have to. After expressing his need for food, he listened to the males reply. He didn't mind if he came back with him. Though more likely than not he would have to end up staying the night. Samuel was in the kind of mood where once he reached home he wasn't going back out there tonight. It was already so late and he'd been up for hours preparing for tonight. In the end, the club was going to need to restock on a lot of stuff and those orders wouldn't fill themselves. Going over to his desk, he pulled close a stack of posts it's and wrote down everything the club needed, placing the note on the desktop monitor. More than likely Alaine would see it at some point before tomorrow. He then went about gathering his things including his laptop, cigarettes,and lighter.

Crossing the room again, he motioned for Micha to leave. He shut off the lights and locked the door. Then he started down the hallway towards the exit. The club was far quieter now. There was no more music, most of the employees had gone home, and some of the lights were out. He was too tired to check around too see if anything else needed his attention. He'd already informed one of the bartenders to lock the place up tonight. So if anything was overlooked, it would be on him. Soon reaching the end of the hallway, Samuel pushed through the heavy metal door, holding it behind him for Micha. The parking lot was about as empty as the inside. So he wasn't surprised to find his car sitting by it's lonesome under the lamp post. Like so many other things in his life that he had gotten rid of, his car was one of them. The classic Mustang he used to always drive around with Micha in had been sold to a collector. Now, he drove a newly restored black 1967 Chevy Impala. At times he did miss his old car, but at least this one hadn't been filled with so many memories. He crossed the lot of unlocked his door. Slipping into the car, he reached over to Micha's side and unlocked the door for him as well. As he waited for the male to get in, he inserted his key and the engine roared to life.

In a couple of minutes Samuel was buckled up and ready to go. He was patient while the male situated himself. But when that was done, he pulled out of his spot and into the empty street. It was a bit odd to be driving with Micha again. He recounted how many times they would go to the local diner and talk about some new problem in their relationship or going on in their lives. Thinking back, it felt like it had been so long. So much had happened and now here they were. Back in the car going to his place. It was a bit nice to know that some things never changed.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

It was hard to think of what Samuel was thinking. He always hated that about him. At times Samuel could be an open book, but if he wanted to lock his thoughts away he could. Micha didn’t let it bother him right now after all he wanted to give Samuel some space. After all he just threw all this upon him after showing up out of the blue after a year. Micha wasn’t expecting some sort of answer right now, after all it wouldn’t be right to demand one. He could wait for an answer, if only for a while.

As he responded to Samuel, he watched as he went about making quick notes and leaving them on the computer. Micha could only guess he was leaving it for Alaine to deal with later. He waited by the door as he opened it. Micha stepped into the hallway as he waited for Samuel to gather this things. He turned heading toward the hallway following after Samuel. Micha held onto the door as Samuel opened it. He stepped out into the parking lot glancing around for Samuel’s car but not seeing it. Micha followed after Samuel curious as he headed toward a 67 Chevy Impala. It suited him.

Walking toward the car, Micha mover around toward the passenger side. He waited for Samuel to unlock the door, as he opened it. Micha slipped inside as he shut the door. He moved to pull his seatbelt on. Micha glanced around the car a little but said nothing. He listened as the car purred to life. Micha relaxed into the seat, it wasn’t the same as the mustang but it still had a calming effect.

Once they were on the road, he moved to roll down the window. Micha felt the wind blowing through his hair as he sat there. He glanced toward Samuel with so many thoughts on his mind but they could wait for later as he turned back toward the open window.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
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sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】

Without even looking back, he could tell that Micha was confused once they reached the parking lot. After all, out of all the cars he owned the Mustang was the one he drove the most. They had made a lot of memories in that car. Some of them good, others not so much. Either way there was too much history in that old car. And since he had been in the mood to get rid of everything that reminded him of Micha, the car simply had to go. He had thought of getting another one, but what was the point. It wouldn't be the same. The Impala was doing fine for now. It ran well like a dream and had given him no issues since he bought it. As Micha slipped into the car, he couldn't help watching from the corner of his eye as he took in the car. It was a bit amusing to him. But he would keep his comments to himself for the moment. There was still so much on his mind that needed answering. He didn't even know where to begin. So he thought it best to remain silent. At least until they reached his place.

Driving through the empty streets, Samuel remained silent. He kept his eyes on the road with both hands on the wheel. Whatever needed to be said could wait. Following his usual route home it took about fifteen minutes from the club to reach the iron gates of his home. Pressing the button clipped to his visor, they soon opened and he was granted access. Samuel followed the long, twisting road towards the family mansion. It came as no surprise when he noticed a few lights on in the windows and his brothers car in the driveway. Both of his brothers had been making regular visits to him after he came out. Their excuse was to "hang out". While Samuel knew good and well they were just making sure little brother didn't go off the deep end after being rejected by their parents. He had been anticipating his parents reactions to be pretty much that, and was more or less unaffected. But still, they visited. He didn't mind most of the time. Just so long as they kept their cars out of the way and out of his garage. Speaking of which, hitting the button again the garage door rose. He pulled into the spot that had once belonged to the Mustang. Other than that, everything was the same.

Cutting the engine, Samuel grabbed his things and got out of the car. He waited for Micha to get out, then made for the entrance to the house. He unlocked the door and pressed the garage door on his way in. Stepping inside, the disarmed alarm beeped and indicated which door had opened. Samuel slipped out of his shoes and made a beeline towards the kitchen. As he walked through the house, he could hear the sounds of what he could only guess to be a movie or television show. Walking through the door way, he saw Oliver sitting on the couch. "Hey." he said, walking up behind the male to drop his computer bag off on the couch.The two brothers conversed a bit in their mother tongue. Oliver told him all about his day and what was new in his life. Meanwhile Samuel motioned for Micha to follow him towards the full stocked fridge and cabinets.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

list]

The ride to Samuel’s place didn’t take long. He watched as they drove through the gate. Micha took note of too unfamiliar cars and the light on in the house. It didn’t seem to bother Samuel as he continued toward the garage. He watched as Samuel pushed a button on the visor and the garage door opened. Micha waited for the car to stop before moving to unbuckle himself. He moved to get out of the car as he followed Samuel back toward the entrance of the house. Micha waited as he unlocked the door. He could hear the sound of talking and television playing. Micha was curious who else was in the house. He watched as Samuel removed his own shoes. Micha was a little cautious as he removed his own shoes setting them by the door. He followed after Samuel as he was a little worried. Micha could hear the sound of people talking and the television getting louder as they entered the living room area.

As they entered, he saw two men on a couch talking. He didn’t know what they were talking about as he was only catching bits and pieces. Micha felt fear surround him as last time he had been confronted with Samuel’s family, he had been told to leave. He didn’t let his fear scare him as he quickly walked after Samuel not wanting to make eye contact and draw attention to himself. Micha entered the kitchen with Samuel as he looked around.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
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sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】

It was understandable why Micha would be nervous about his brothers. After all, it wasn't like he was given good reason to like them. But things were different now. Since his coming out, he didn't fear the idea of bringing dates - or in Micha's case, former lovers - over. If it bothered them that much, they could simply get out of his house. Oliver and Samuel chatted a bit in their mother tongue. Before long though, Samuel had decided to head towards the adjacent kitchen. The kitchen was clean and nothing was out of place. "So what do you feel like? I've got some chicken, ground beef, frozen pizza.........a lot of other stuff" Samuel stepped aside to look in a nearby cabinet. Nothing but junk food and canned food in there. The next cabinet held a few dry foods such as instant rice, macaroni, and cheese, and a few ingredients for seasoning. Leaning against the counter, he waited for an answer. Personally Samuel didn't care what he ate. So long as it wasn't burn or becoming a science experiment. Lucky for him, he didn't need to worry much for the latter.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

As he walked with Samuel following him toward the kitchen.It seem his brothers were immersed in their conversation. He felt himself relax as they seemed to ignore them. Micha looked around the kitchen as they entered. He took note of how clean it was. Micha heard Samuel speak and glanced toward him. He moved about the kitchen opening the fridge, then moving onto the cabinets next. Micha looked toward Samuel as he leaned against the counter. ”Still haven’t managed to learn to cook.” He spoke teasing Samuel as he thought about what to make. Micha wasn’t in the mood to prepare a whole meal, so frozen pizza would have to do. He moved toward the oven as he checked to see if there was anything inside before moving to turn it on. Micha looked back over at Samuel, ”Pizza okay?” He asked though the next thing possible it seemed was a box of mac and cheese.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
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sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】

Samuel leaned against the counter as he allowed Micha to explore his kitchen. There were options that something ought to stand out. At least, that was his thinking. Samuel rolled his eyes as the male teased him. "Nah, not this year. I didn't feel like burning down the place." he teased back. He watched the male dig around a bit more before seeming to make his decision. The frozen pizza was taken from his freezer and he nodded in response. "That's fine." he said. Samuel pushed off the counter and bent down to the correct counter. He pulled out a well-used pizza tray and set it on top of the stove. Standing beside the male, he took the trash as the pizza was unwrapped, throwing it in nearby garbage can. With that done, he came back to linger beside the male. There wasn't much else to do now that dinner was going. If they were to talk more, he'd rather not do it while still within earshot of his family. Reaching out, he lightly tugged at the males shirt. "Wanna go upstairs for a bit?" he asked curiously.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

MIcha knew Samuel didn’t cook, after he was the one who cooked half the time or they ordered in. He wasn’t much for ordering in at the moment. Micha smiled as Samuel teased him back. He could only expect what would happen if Samuel was left alone in the kitchen by himself. Micha went to grab a frozen pizza from the freezer as he glanced to see Samuel had gotten out a tray. He thanked him as he opened the pizza box and unwrapped it. Micha set the pizza on the tray. He moved to put the pizza in the oven as he looked back toward Samuel. Micha felt the tug on his shirt as Samuel questioned him. That was something he missed, the way Samuel pulled on him to try and get his attention. He nodded, ”Sure.” Micha spoke motioning for Samuel to lead the way. It would be a little while before the pizza would be ready anyways.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
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sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】

In all that time it seemed his old habits did not break. He couldn't help it. As the male agreed, Samuel lead the way through the house. They went back past his brothers, who were now deeply engrossed in the show they were watching. Going out towards the main hallway, Samuel took them upstairs and to the first master bedroom on the left. His old room. Opening the door, it was more or less the same as the last time Micha was in here. The only real difference was the fact that the bed was made for a change. Flipping on the light switch, he motioned for Micha to go in first. Samuel followed in behind him and shut the door. "Go ahead and sit anywhere. Doesn't matter." he said, trying to be a good host. Though it felt a little awkward. Samuel took a seat on the ottoman near the end of his bed. He waited for Micha to make himself comfortable before wanting to speak. "So......going back to our previous conversation. Do I get to know where you've been this whole year? What you've been doing? Did you meet anyone?" he asked curiously. Samuel was careful in choosing his words. But he wanted to know. It had been a whole year since he last saw Micha. He was dying to know what he had been up to in this entire time.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

As Samuel lead the way, he followed after him. He wasn’t too familiar with the layout of the house. Micha followed Samuel heading back toward the living area where Samuel’s brothers were. This time he ignored them as they seemed too involved in whatever was on television. Micha followed Samuel up the stairs and down the hallway. He soon entered his bedroom. Micha glanced around a little before Samuel spoke. He nodded simply, moving toward the bed as he took a seat. Micha watched as Samuel came to sit on the ottoman near the end of the bed. He looked toward Samuel as he questioned him. They were simply ones, something he was expecting. Micha sighed a little, as he moved to relax on the bed. ”I went to Germany after I left Paris...I spent a lot of time visiting friends, wandering the city again, and seeing certain sights..While I was there I didn’t really meet anyone. “ He spoke answering Samuel’s question truthfully. Sure he had meet some people, but none that Samuel had to worry about. Micha hadn’t been with anyone, if that’s was Samuel was getting at either.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
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sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】

He didn't think it unreasonable to want to know what the male had been up to. After all, a year was a long time. Sure they hadn't been together at the time, but he still wanted to know. He wanted so badly to know why he never heard from him. Why he didn't see him. Hell, why he couldn't even find him. The male had completely disappeared without a trace. He didn't want to fit and wouldn't allow any ill feelings to get in the way. Samuel was patient after asking his first few questions. He listened to the male talk a bit. It wasn't in any great detail, but it was enough satisfy him for now. He was especially relieved to hear that he did not meet anyone. While he had no right to interfere with his love life, he had worried a bit that maybe Micha had tried to move on just as much as he had. "I see....and where are you staying now? I saw the for sale sign at your old place. Can't imagine you came back because you missed New York." he asked. Samuel wanted to also ask why he had come back. But he already knew the answer to that. Asking it would be a waste. Instead he wanted to focus on the questions that mattered. Like where he had been, what he had seen, who he met, if he was even planning on staying in town. The questions that truly mattered. As of this moment, he was seriously considering taking him back. But he needed more than blind faith and pretty words to go on. He needed to know he could trust him again. That their next argument wasn't going to repeated history of bullshit and loneliness.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

What was wrong with coffee and cereal? It was a great breakfast. At least for him it was. Apparently someone else had thought otherwise. With their items gathered there seemed to be no more reason to linger. Alaine nodded as the male spoke. Though it really wouldn't have been much trouble to pick up something else for him. But Liam seemed content with his minimum offerings. Taking the males hand again, Alaine followed him through the store and up to the front, going over to the self-checkout. Alaine stood off to the side, taking items from the male to bag them. When that was done, he started to reach for his own wallet but stopped as he noticed Liam had already taken out his own. Putting his own away, he let the male pay for the groceries. This time. He'd pay him back for them eventually. For now though, he would not worry about it. After paying for their items and collecting the receipt, Alaine grabbed a few bags for himself. He took up the males hand as they walked towards the exit and back out in the parking lot. Alaine squinted against the bright sunlight until his eyes adjusted. He walked through the lot towards his car and fished out his keys. Alaine popped the trunk as they approached. Releasing the males hand, he placed his bags into the open space and waited for Liam to do the same. He then closed the trunk and walked around to the drivers side, unlocking their doors with his keys and got in.

The car was started and seatbelts were put on. The lot was empty enough that he could just drive through the space to go out. Glancing towards Liam, he waited for him to buckle up as well. When that was taken care of, Alaine pulled through the space and drove on down the lot to the driveway. The mid-morning traffic wasn't all that bad. After sitting there a few minutes, he was able to pull out into the middle of the street and go up to the light. Alaine followed the same short route to his house that he had taken to get to the store.

In a matter of ten minutes they were pulling up to his house and into the garage. Alaine cut the engine and unbuckled his seat belt. He got out of the car and went around back to grab a few bags. Then walking over to the door, he quickly unlocked it and disarmed the alarm. After stepping out of his shoes, Alaine walked into the kitchen. He set the bags on the counter and started to unload them. He stuffed the bags into one another and put them in for recycling with the others at the bottom of his pantry. Alaine then came to linger beside the male. "Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked. While the idea of simply watching him wasn't a bad one. He didn't feel it was right to just let Liam do all the work.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

MIcha didn’t mind answering any of Samuel’s after all he knew he deserved to know. There wasn’t a lot to say especially since his time in Germany, was more personal than actually trying to have fun. He couldn’t really say he had fun it, had been more of a time to clear his head and think thing through. Moving on really hadn’t been on his mind after all it was hard to forget the one thing in his life that made sense. He listened as Samuel spoke again. Micha merely shrugged, ”At the moment, currently in a hotel.” He spoke leaving out the part where he had just arrived that evening. Micha found it irrelevant. It was true that his reason for returning was more than just his love for New York. As much as he enjoyed his time in New York, it was Samuel that mattered to him. He knew Samuel needed to hear more than just pretty words. ”I came back because I couldn’t forget about you…” Micha spoke as he stood up now stepping away from the bed turning his back a little on Samuel. ”After I left Paris, I was just so angry, at you and at myself.” He spoke running a hand through his hair. ”However I realized that I couldn’t just run away and leave...Sure I disappeared for a year, but I wanted to become someone new, someone who you could love again.” Micha spoke turning back toward Samuel. ”I know that I can’t say I love you enough, but what I can’t forget is the need to have you around, to see you everyday, to listen to your voice, even if it’s just over the phone...I missed the way you try to get my attention by pulling on my clothes, the way you feel the need to be clingy as if I’ll leave, what I miss the most is just our little arguments and making up afterwards.” He spoke feeling a little embarrassed after all he had never really expressed his feelings toward Samuel. Micha usually kept them to himself.