AFG Sallies

[Shinigami Whistle]

Krissim Klaw

That sounds very familar to me. It is a feeling that I have experienced, on multiple occassions for varying lengths of time. I'm not sure what to say. I want to tell you some magic cure, but I still don't know it myself.

So, instead I will just tell you what I have come to discover for myself. During that sort of bought of emotion, and lack there of, I often get very phylisophical. I have a tendancy to turn inward and I keep coming up with the same answer. I have lost my spark. That little thing that drives a person on is just not there. I'm too busy running around and taking care of all the junk left on me by my teachers or others. When I do have free time, I'm to tired to do anything but lay around. Literarly, there are days I wish I could just sleep and never wake up.

All I can say, is try to find that inner voice of yours. The one you had when you were a kid. The one that whispers softly to your inner spirit and drives you toward your dreams. You have to shut all the other voices and all the things you think your suppose to feel and think. Just search for what your reason for living is. What is it you want to do. What is the most important thing to you. And no, don't go and say something like to live for another, or live to see my mate, because that is not it. This is something deeper than that. It is something selfish and personal. An inner spark that is born out of a child's dreams. You have to find your reason for living.

That's just what I think anyway. .___.

And when I heard the whistle I knew I had been chosen...

Wow, Kriss. That's really deep *wide eyed*

I'll defiantly give it a try, at least =)

...to be the one who decides who goes next.

 

[Crenn]

I can relate to you, Kyo, in a few forms. Although most of the time you see me, I'm depressed, but you've seen my 'happy' side, but one side no one ever sees is my thinking side. I just stare into space and think, no emotion or anything... but the thing is I 'made' other personalities to dicuss things with (although it could be a sign of insanity xp ) and find solutions for my problems. I haven't done it in months... maybe it's time I did.

Anyway, there is nothing wrong with you, sometimes a change in your diet can cause these type of things. I find that I'm usually happiest after I've recently eaten. Maybe you need to eat a little less each meal BUT have a few more meals. Ie spread out your daily intake, have about 4 small meals a day instead of 3 large ones. It should help you slightly, because it seems to be the pattern with me. I'm always happy at the weekend school because I'm nearly constantly eating (a lot of sugar sweatdrop ) plus I have the comfort of good friends.

And it's perfectly normal to be both happy and sad at the same time. For example, sometimes people cry when they're really happy. But I'm not a psychologist and only a amatuer phylisophor (I think that's how you spell it sweatdrop xp ) but I'm nearly always willing to listen. Stay strong, Kyo. Listen to yourself and your heart.

EDIT: Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm slowly working on a solution to my proxy drama. I can access Gaia fine, but meebo (what I use for MSN at school) is very limited.  

[shoki_de_nai]

Okay...what the hell. Life needs to figure out what direction of emotion I'm going into. My mate just asked me to take him back. He said he made a mistake, jumped into a decision too quickly to end a problem. *sigh* I told him, and promised myself I wouldn't take him back. I don't want to be hurt again...He realizes this and told me nevermind, that he doesn't deserve it. Even when I said I'd think about it he told me not to. He beats himself up so much when this stuff happens. He did hurt me by tossing three years of devotion aside...but he does feel bad...and I never stopped loving him...Errrf! Anyways...I'm going to think about it. Think hard. For a while. At least a few days so he gets a taste of what he put me through. Yes, I'm evil.

...*sigh* if I do take him back my art will suffer so...people seemed to like my angsty-emoness. At least on FA.  

[Nekoyaki]

..sometimes I feel like unloading my own personal dramas into this thread, but then I feel like I'm just jumping on the bandwagon.. *sigh* But I do want to talk. I just don't want to sound like a dramallama..  

[Sonya Khatsworth]

I'm sorry to hear what had happened back then NG. Things like that shouldn't have to hapen, but they still do because life is cruel like that.

If I take a look at the story itself, I think Valentino's actions might have been justified, just by really really bad motives. He indeed got what he deserved, if not excessively so, but it probably did give him a good lesson; or made him worse.

To pick up on what Sirus said, a lot of artists would think it's injustified to do such a thing to other people's art, especially coming from another artist... but truth be told, some artists are rotten, and some are just obsenely competitive too, such as I am. I just resort to obsessing on perfection until it gets me sick instead of sabotage.

It's only a possibility, but maybe Valentino might have done it because he felt lessered by your art. We may never know.

His dad might have broken his hand because of the same thinking Sirus brought up by wondering how an artist can even stoop so low. At that age, any art would be your greatest art, your Mona Lisa. The guy's kid had just spat on your Mona Lisa.

In the end though, your reaction of stabbing with the pencil was a normal, common reaction seen in youth when their masterpieces get torn asunder.
What happened to Valentino with his hand, though, was merely a consequence of what he did, as it was probably the school that called his father after you ran out of class to attest of him destroying a classmate's art.

The beating was not yours to take.
On the other hand, your scars show you were enough of a good person to take the pain and guilt for someone's own else's self-created problems.

You were caught in the butterfly effect, but it wasn't your fault.

How much this affected your later life is most likely what your therapist wants to see. Best wishes for the session to go well.

Nekoyaki

..sometimes I feel like unloading my own personal dramas into this thread, but then I feel like I'm just jumping on the bandwagon.. *sigh* But I do want to talk. I just don't want to sound like a dramallama..

Dramallama?
That's what the thread's for in the first place. Go nuts!
Either way, I'm pretty sure however good-willed any of us are, there'll be lots of Schadenfreude to go around.

The only bandwagon here is that of people who open up about their problems instead of bottling up. O:

shoki_de_nai

Okay...what the hell. Life needs to figure out what direction of emotion I'm going into. My mate just asked me to take him back. He said he made a mistake, jumped into a decision too quickly to end a problem. *sigh* I told him, and promised myself I wouldn't take him back. I don't want to be hurt again...He realizes this and told me nevermind, that he doesn't deserve it. Even when I said I'd think about it he told me not to. He beats himself up so much when this stuff happens. He did hurt me by tossing three years of devotion aside...but he does feel bad...and I never stopped loving him...Errrf! Anyways...I'm going to think about it. Think hard. For a while. At least a few days so he gets a taste of what he put me through. Yes, I'm evil.

...*sigh* if I do take him back my art will suffer so...people seemed to like my angsty-emoness. At least on FA.

Give him another chance, if he hasn't already used up his relationship chance card of the year. It might be the best thing you'll ever do if you still feel for him.

If he goes after another girl again after such a comeback, though, then feel free to nailgun his testicles to the wall.  

[Kakarotto-san]

-_-..there are some people in my life who contuine to make it miserable.

I think I'm going to go draw some dark, angtsy, moody, maybe even violent s**t mood art now. I need to get some stress off.

Plus, there's some guy who keeps complaining about the pose I used in his damn commission when I drew what he told me to draw and sent references of. -_____-  

[Sonya Khatsworth]

Kakarotto-san

-_-..there are some people in my life who contuine to make it miserable.

I think I'm going to go draw some dark, angtsy, moody, maybe even violent s**t mood art now. I need to get some stress off.

Plus, there's some guy who keeps complaining about the pose I used in his damn commission when I drew what he told me to draw and sent references of. -_____-

If you showed him the sketch before colouring, why the heck didn't he complain beforehand?

Guy : But...!
Doomie : *bitchslaps*
[/pwned]

Kaky, you get a cookie for, well, I dunno. You're cool. Cookie =D
Hope the "dark arts" helps you feel better about life's crap and morons. :3  

[Record Producer Jay-Z]

Listen to the kinky husky as he says, never use shampoo as lube, dont ask....  

[Nekoyaki]

Nanaki_Red XIII

Listen to the kinky husky as he says, never use shampoo as lube, dont ask....

conditioner works better.  

[Rainey_angel81]

Nekoyaki

Nanaki_Red XIII

Listen to the kinky husky as he says, never use shampoo as lube, dont ask....

conditioner works better.

canola oils works too  

[Dare-chan]

Nanaki_Red XIII

Listen to the kinky husky as he says, never use shampoo as lube, dont ask....

Bye KY lube from your local supermarket isn't illegal at any age (just like condoms). Sure, you might get looked at funny, but meh. Definetly the best way to go imo.

-Da're  

[Selene Aries]

Nanaki_Red XIII

Listen to the kinky husky as he says, never use shampoo as lube, dont ask....

I have never had a problem with it. o.O What did you do? *caughs* Answer over MSN. rofl  

[Krissim Klaw]

Ok, yet again, the school system has proven to be a place of idiots who on a whole don't give a s**t or just don't get it. I'm really sick and tired of having to do my job as a student, and extra work because the "powers at be" are ******** idiots.


This rant is mainly about my Painting II class. To start off, I took Painting I last year. The teacher I had taught me and the rest of the class to paint in acrylic paint. It went well, I learned how to paint in acrylic paint. I also have taken a number of other classes that have been involved with painting projects. They too all had me use acrylic paint.

I then get into painting II, and the teacher as his first statement was the equivallent of acrylic paint sucks. He wants us to use Oil paint in class. This is just find and dandy to the 2/3 of students who got a Painting I teacher that taught oil, or those who have picked it up elsewhere. However, for 1/3 of us, we are screwed. How am I suppose to jump into and advance class and paint with ******** oils when I have never used them before. There are only 4 paintins in total for the whole term. The first one is 36" by 36" or 3 feet by 3 feet. Just measure it out, it is ******** huge. Now I'm expected to just suddenly know how to use oil paint and paint a freaken masterpiece with a media I have no knowledge in? I don't even know how to clean off the ******** art brushes when using oil paint. It is like playing the piano for two years and getting into your higher level band class and the teacher saying, switch to the violen and keep up.  

[Sonya Khatsworth]

Krissim Klaw

Ok, yet again, the school system has proven to be a place of idiots who on a whole don't give a s**t or just don't get it. I'm really sick and tired of having to do my job as a student, and extra work because the "powers at be" are ******** idiots.


This rant is mainly about my Painting II class. To start off, I took Painting I last year. The teacher I had taught me and the rest of the class to paint in acrylic paint. It went well, I learned how to paint in acrylic paint. I also have taken a number of other classes that have been involved with painting projects. They too all had me use acrylic paint.

I then get into painting II, and the teacher as his first statement was the equivallent of acrylic paint sucks. He wants us to use Oil paint in class. This is just find and dandy to the 2/3 of students who got a Painting I teacher that taught oil, or those who have picked it up elsewhere. However, for 1/3 of us, we are screwed. How am I suppose to jump into and advance class and paint with ******** oils when I have never used them before. There are only 4 paintins in total for the whole term. The first one is 36" by 36" or 3 feet by 3 feet. Just measure it out, it is ******** huge. Now I'm expected to just suddenly know how to use oil paint and paint a freaken masterpiece with a media I have no knowledge in? I don't even know how to clean off the ******** art brushes when using oil paint. It is like playing the piano for two years and getting into your higher level band class and the teacher saying, switch to the violen and keep up.

That's like french classes for me. EVERY teacher thought it differently, and to boot nothing we learned ever was useful in the final exams, so we only survived if we had an ounce of logical reasoning and "Savoir-faire". XP

But yeah, that sucks. File a complaint or something, I mean, it IS absolutely mind-numbingly stupid how they're trying to make you do advanced painting in Oils without even as much as a transitional course when you didn't get a choice to use Acrylics in Painting I.  

[Manda_Tifa]

Wow, Kris...I feel for you. I guess the best thing to do at this point is just to read up on oils and the proper care for your brushes and such and just experiment on smaller canvases until you can paint on the big one. I know it's a lot since you have to use the semester to paint your masterpiece, not experiment, but I dunno what else to tell you. Maybe you and the others who have no oil experience can make a little "oil paint study group"?