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Comical idiocy is the best kind.



I was working in a downtown shop in Ontario, Canada near the U.S. border. Even though our store was less than a mile from the U.S. border, some American visitors couldn't believe we were "just like them".

My favorite customer story is about a lady who came into the shop to browse. She didn't say anything to me so I just smiled and said "Hi". When she finally came up to the cash register, she leaned over the counter and said loudly (with a lot of hand signing), "DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?!!" I was so surprised that I leaned toward her and loudly said, "THAT'S...ALL...I...SPEAK!" complete with opening and closing my hand for the "talking" sign! She quickly finished her transaction and I never saw her back in the store again!

One night I was working at a large pizza chain that required a standard telephone greeting. A customer called and I automatically answered, "Thank you for calling Father's Pizza on Main Street. May I help you?" The customer asked, "Is this a recording?" It had been a very long night. I answered, "Yes, it is." There was a short pause and the customer said, "Oh, okay" and hung up. I imagine that he just looked at his phone after that and immediately called one of our competitors!

I worked for a large banquet hall that often did very upscale weddings. One popular color for weddings was black table linens with white napkins...kind of a "black tie" theme. One bride and her mother came in to select their linen colors. The bride really liked the black tablecloths and white napkins so I set a few out on the desk. After she had looked at them for a few moments, I asked "Is it a black and white wedding?" The mother-of-the-bride looked horrified and asked, "How do you know?" Seeing the panic in her face, I asked, "Know what?" The bride turned very red and her mother continued, "That it is an INTERRACIAL marriage and we DON'T approve!" Yikes! I took a deep breath and pointed at the table napkins and calmly said, "I was asking about the dinner napkins. We don't care who gets married." The wedding did proceed and I am happy to say that it was my day off on the wedding day!

I posted the link a few pages back.

Here's another " idiot of the month " type deal:



This is not so much a “faux pas,” but is shows just how stupid and sue-crazy some people can be. I had just graduated from college and took a temp job in the customer service department of a nation-wide music/movie chain. I received a call from a mother a few months into my employment, here’s the general gist of the call: The women’s son’s friend STOLE a pornographic movie from one of our stores and “forced” her son to watch it, “scarring” him for life. She wanted to sue us for “scarring” her son. I actually went over this a few times with her hoping that she’d realize how completely idiotic is sounded (and making sure someone didn’t sell this underage boy a porno, in which case I would have understood the mother’s anger at our store), but she wanted me to fix it then and there and wouldn’t get off the phone until she was compensated for her son’s traumatic experience. I promptly told her since she said she was going to pursue legal action against us I could no longer talk to her and she’d have to contact our legal department. This was almost four years ago and I still laugh thinking about it.

No.

One kid steals porn, then that kid " forces " her kid to watch it.
She decides she knows how he dealt with it and determines he's " scarred for life. "
As well, she decided it's entirely the store's fault.

There was another stupidity case with a sting op.

Occassionally, an undercover cop ( usually young ) will try to buy alcohol. If they aren't carded, or in any way to the clerk's knowledge, given alcohol while presumably underage, they'll arrest/fine the clerk or the store.

Now, there was one such incident where the cop was easily 40 or older, and obviously looked it, so naturally you'd think " Okay, it's obvious this guy's legal. " Nooooo! He wasn't carded, so the clerk gets hit with legal crap.

The result: You have 70+ year olds being carded just to prove they're of legal drinking age.

The " fun " one is when the clerk denies someone of legal age because they're with a minor, since they can't sell 2nd party or whatever it's called, and even say it's state/federal law and whatever, but it's apparently still that clerk's fault that they won't sell them alcohol.

Its like reading a reader's digest...

Normally, I don't get into those situations, but if I do, I usually have quite a way with out-annoying the agitator.

Meow, Morning all.

Mew! ^_^

And now, physics with top-heavy females who happen to be rather attractive!