[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked to Fenrir startled by the pup's question. In an instant he was moving and scooping the pup up from his daughter's lap and cradling him close. "That is not what I meant at all my son. I wish for you to live with me, I would be greatly saddened if you left. But you are old enough to decide where you wish to stay. I would not restrain you." Loki explained.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Fenrir let Loki pick him up, cuddling up under his chin. “I don’t want to leave you, I love you mother.” He said softly. “And I like this place. It’s big and nice, and Tony’s here. He’s nice to me, they all are.” He continued. “I want to stay with you mother.”  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Green eyes closed in relief when Fenrir said that he didnt want to leave him. "Then stay you shall." Loki stated breathing as he cuddled his pup close for a moment before handing him back to Hela. "I know Sleepnir is staying for the evening but what are your plans?” Loki questioned Jormungandr and Hela.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Fenrir licked Loki’s cheek gently before the god handed him back over to his sister. Hela sat Fenrir in her lap, scratching his head gently. “Unfortunately I have to return. Hel is volatile and constantly shifting. Without me there…it could slip back decades in a day.” She admitted. “But I will visit again soon.” She promised. Jormungandr shifted as attention was turned to him. “I would love to stay mother, but I can’t stand this form much longer, and we both know that my true form is much to large to be accommodated here.” He said, scratching at a patch of scales on his cheek. “Perhaps I will drop by for breakfast tomorrow however.” He offered, not wanting to disappoint Loki.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki smiled at his pup as his cheek was licked. He nodded when Hela said that she had to leave. He had expected as much with how Hel could change. Her promise to visit again soon brought forth his smile and he kissed he forehead before turning toward Jormungandr. "I understand, I thank you for staying in it as long as you have. You are always welcome to join us here when you please. Even if just for a meal." Loki extended. He was glad his children had come and even though he wanted them to stay he knew they could not and accepted that.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Hela smiled as Loki kissed her forehead. Taking her mother’s hand, she looked up at him, head tilted. “You know that we all love you right….even if things haven’t always been easy, even if we aren’t the most typical family, we still love you mother.” She said gently, knowing how hard things had been for Loki. He had tried harder and been through so much more than any other parent that she knew of.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked back to his daughter as she held onto his hand. He looked a tad confused when she proclaimed that they all loved him. "You thought that I would doubt your love for me?" Loki questioned confused. He couldn't deny that he had doubted if Jormungandr still held affection for him before he had found him but he had never doubted Hela's and Sleepnir's love.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

“No.” Hela replied, shaking her head. “We’ve never thought you doubted us, but I think you could be reminded of it.” She said, squeezing his hand before pulling away to hug Fenrir close. Sleepnir leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and looking over his family. “You know….it’s been nice…today.” He said softly. “I wasn’t expecting to enjoy myself, but it’s been nice…..this human holiday.”  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki did not know what to say when Hela said that she didn't think he doubted their love for him but that she thought he could be reminded of it. He knew his children loved him, even if he was not always sure he deserved it. Looking over to his eldest as Sleepnir spoke he smiled. "I too did not expect to enjoy myself so thoroughly when I told this celebration was similar to a feast on Asgard but it has been quite pleasant." Loki agreed.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Sleepnir nodded. He avoided Asgardian feasts like the plague, far too shy to ever be comfortable there. Even though he’d been uncomfortable today, it hadn’t been unbearable, and some of those here were actually rather pleasant. But he was looking forward to tomorrow morning, knowing that many of the people wouldn’t be here. Jormungandr shifted, looking uncertain before he spoke. “Mother….I want to ask you some questions. Ones that you may not like……about recent events.”  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki smiled gently at his oldest when Sleepnir nodded. He knew that his son avoided feast like Loki had often wished to. It was easier for his son because Odin did not want to reveal what Sleepnir was to the royal family. Looking to Jormungandr as his son shifted Loki did not expect the man to ask to ask him some questions. "Ask what you may, I can not promise answers to everything but I shall try." he promised his son.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Jormungandr nodded at Loki’s response. It was all he could ask of Loki. “What….What has happened with Odin? You were only vague when we last spoke. Saying that we were free now…..But Odin is very much alive and grandmother was….unwilling to talk about it.” He asked slowly, serpent-like eyes watching Loki carefully. “And I’ve heard mention of you being involved with…..an invasion…..” he added, looking a little uncomfortable.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki was surprised and yet not with Jormungandr's questions about Odin's position. He understood why his mother had been unwilling to talk about what had happened to her husband. Loki took a deep breath half wishing that Tony was there to help him explain. However he knew that there would probably be some questions that he wasn't sure he wanted to explain to Tony yet. "I will have to take this story back a few years. A couple of years ago Odin decided it was time to crown Thor king of course your uncle was still quite full of himself and ready to fight whomever he could. I knew he was not prepared to rule Asgard and prevented the coronation from taking place by allowing a few Jotuns into the vault where I knew the destroyer would take care of them. I stopped the coronation but Thor demanded when go to Jotunhiem against Odin's orders to punish them for their treachery. We were found out and Odin banished Thor to Midgard. However while in Jotunhiem one of the Jotuns grabbed me and instead of burning my skin like they are known to do, my skin turned blue." Loki breathed. He knew his daughter knew and Sleepnir too about his heritage now and he had explained it to Fenrir and casually mentioned it to Jormungandr but it was not the same as revealing it completely.

"It was after Thor had been banished that I went down to the vault to find the Casket of Ancient Winters, I grabbed it at the same time as Odin came down. He explained that I was the babe stolen from Jotunhiem, left abandoned to die there. I was sure he had more purpose for me than merely taking me. I was never able to drag it from him before he fell into Odinsleep conveniently. Your grandmother gave me the mantle of the throne, something I was not prepared to deal with when I had just learned everything I just had. I knew though that I could not allow Thor to come back and take over and I feared what would happen if he learned what I was. I used the Destroyer to try and kill him. I can't say I did so in my right mind or that it was right but I did so. Thor returned to Asgard and we fought on the Bifrost. I was trying to destroy Jotunhiem, he defeated me but I fell on the edge of the Bifrost he had destroyed to stop me. He caught me and Odin having woken caught him. I tried to explain what I had tried to do, but Odin denied me any understanding. Instead of facing what I had done I released my hold on Gungnir and fell. I expected to die, instead I fell into the void." Loki explained with a shiver as he remembered. The memory of the void was painful and cruel. Taking a deep breath he looked up to his children.

"In the void I was captured by a being called The Other who served an elder or ancient being called Thanos. He wanted me to join him, I refused and for a time I was 'persuaded' until he grasped hold of my mind. The being gave me a staff and an army sending me to Midgard to claim it and the tesseract. The Avenger defeated me and Thor took me back to Asgard where I was to be judged and punished. It was done so without my being able to say a word in my defense. My mouth was sewed shut and my magic taken from me by means of a collar. Months, years I spent there I know not the exact time I have not asked. I was left alone in a cell with only guards that hated me for company and that was only until others found out where I was. Eventually one day I found my cell open and escaped. The Bifrost was open as well and I jumped through without a thought and fell here." Loki continued, this part wasn't any easier than the last but the next part was easier.

"Tony gave me a chance here when he had cut me free and allowed me to explain. He found evidence to prove my innocence. While here Thor returned and then Odin followed him along with Sif and the warriors. I remembered while they were here that Sif and Fandral had been 'around' while I was imprisoned in Asgard. They tried to separate Tony and I, going so far as to damage my mind. Something which it turns out that had done many times in the past. It was enough to bring them to trial on Asgard. Whilst there I was forced into my Jotun form and Odin would not provide the glamour to me again. It was during a 'discussion' with him that I discovered his mind had been enveloped by a sickness and your grandmother has taken over the throne with support from myself and Thor. Odin no longer has control and can not threaten any of you any longer." Loki finished. He felt relieved that he could say such things to his children knowing that they had worried about the god for such a long time and that that man had prevented all of them from being together.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Loki’s children all listened closely to their mother as he spoke. Each knew bits and pieces, but none of them knew the whole story, and certainly not from Loki’s perspective. After he finished, there was a moment of silence as they all processed what had been said. “So….we’re all part Frost Giant?” Jormungandr asked slowly. “It’s honestly not too surprising.” Hela said slowly. “Considering the size of the three of you….something had to have happened.” She said simply. There was a murmur of agreement from her brothers. Fenrir looked to Loki curiously. “So is uncle not going to be king anymore? He would be a fun king….and grandmother could come live with us then.” He said slowly, resting his chin on the table. “If an ancient took interest in you….it’s not easy to escape that….you’re in trouble still aren’t you?” Jormungandr asked quietly.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki let the silence fall when he had finished his story and let his children soak everything in. He nodded when Jormungandr asked if they were part frost giant. "You are the grandchildren of Laufey and you have two other uncles." Loki explained to his children. He didn't know how there would feel about that but he knew they deserved to know. A smile graced his lips when Hela said that it was not surprising considering the size of all of them but her. "Your uncle will be king eventually but he knows that he is not ready now, when he is you grandmother will give it to him." Loki assured the pup petting his head. Jormungandr's question had him nodding, "I am not yet free of his control. He can take me over when I have fits of anger and he has promised to find me. That there is no place I can hide that he will not find me, that he will make me long for something as sweet as pain." Loki shivered. It was one of the few things he remembered from the invasion. The other threatening him, making sure that even his controlled mind knew what was at stake if he did not succeed. "Tony destroyed his army, or so we believe but Thanos is still coming. He is coming here, to find me, to complete whatever plans he has."