Is it haram to cry, hear musik, eat jelly, paint humans?

[Scarlett Nerd]

BeXlieXve

You're not allowed to marry someone you're in love with?

thats how i understood it ><  

[Scarlett Nerd]

Ratri_Cat

Mini_Angel_1994

by reputation. That's the way women get married in Islam.

I was kinda hoping love would be part of the equation...but it's kinda hard to love someone if you don't know them.
I was also hoping that personality was going to be a part too; I'd want a partner that was in synch with me. Not different. But if I can't get to know them for fear of 'getting around' or some gossip to my reputation, i must say, that is the saddest way I ever heard of a woman to get married.

I have to agree with ratri on this,
a marriage without love means nothing...wither Alla (hope thats right) says you should marry so or so doesnt mean you cant pick for yourself.
I mean if i was in love with my muslim friend nothing would stop me from being with her unless she didnt want me to be with her.
sometime what the heart wants is more important then what someone or something tells you.

Not to sound like an a**,
but if you had to walk 30 miles on your hand to marry some would you do it...I wouldnt, especially if i didnt have feelings for the person i was doing it for.  

[BubbleBerry Tea]

I mean, I understand that love isn't the only reason for people to get married.
There's financial stability, of course.
Some people think of marriage as more of an agreement than an emotional thing.

Like, my parents got married because, if my dad didn't marry my mom, my grandma would have sent her somewhere. I can't remember where.

But my parents had an unhappy marriage, because they hadn't gotten to know each other well enough beforehand. There were a lot of disagreements and trust issues.

So I think that you do need to get to know a person first.
At least as a friend. It doesn't mean you have to do anything sexual.
Just get to know the person.

But if you aren't even allowed to have relationships before marriage, I don't know how well you could get to know each other.

Much less whether you could fall in love.
And, if that's the case, I'm very sad for you.
Because being in love is amazing. I speak from experience.
I would hate to marry anyone except the person I love.  

[Mini_Angel_1994]

I know, I'm not going to marry anyone if I don't love him!! But there are certain rules, Prophet Muhammad said when someone went to get engaged with a muslim girl, he said: look at her, maybe you won't love each other, or maybe you will. If the guy feels that I don't want her! It's his choice! And if the girl feels that she doesn't want him, it's also her choice. What I'm saying is, love but not in the out open. In other words, don't date! That's pretty much what I'm saying.  

[BubbleBerry Tea]

Mini_Angel_1994

I know, I'm not going to marry anyone if I don't love him!! But there are certain rules, Prophet Muhammad said when someone went to get engaged with a muslim girl, he said: look at her, maybe you won't love each other, or maybe you will. If the guy feels that I don't want her! It's his choice! And if the girl feels that she doesn't want him, it's also her choice. What I'm saying is, love but not in the out open. In other words, don't date! That's pretty much what I'm saying.

But how will you manage to fall in love if you can't be alone with that person? A lot of the things you need to talk about are things that people would be hesitant to say with someone else in the room. You can't build that trust if you can't share secrets or anything.  

[Scarlett Nerd]

BeXlieXve

Mini_Angel_1994

I know, I'm not going to marry anyone if I don't love him!! But there are certain rules, Prophet Muhammad said when someone went to get engaged with a muslim girl, he said: look at her, maybe you won't love each other, or maybe you will. If the guy feels that I don't want her! It's his choice! And if the girl feels that she doesn't want him, it's also her choice. What I'm saying is, love but not in the out open. In other words, don't date! That's pretty much what I'm saying.

But how will you manage to fall in love if you can't be alone with that person? A lot of the things you need to talk about are things that people would be hesitant to say with someone else in the room. You can't build that trust if you can't share secrets or anything.

thats exactly what i was going to say 3nodding  

[Mini_Angel_1994]

BeXlieXve

Mini_Angel_1994

I know, I'm not going to marry anyone if I don't love him!! But there are certain rules, Prophet Muhammad said when someone went to get engaged with a muslim girl, he said: look at her, maybe you won't love each other, or maybe you will. If the guy feels that I don't want her! It's his choice! And if the girl feels that she doesn't want him, it's also her choice. What I'm saying is, love but not in the out open. In other words, don't date! That's pretty much what I'm saying.

But how will you manage to fall in love if you can't be alone with that person? A lot of the things you need to talk about are things that people would be hesitant to say with someone else in the room. You can't build that trust if you can't share secrets or anything.

Secrets is a high stage of relationship. Let's take an example, Mary has someone who wants to propose, so her father is the one who is in charge of welcoming the guests, and know who they want, and what are their circumstances. So, in the first visit they will say who they want, and what the guy works as. So if Mary's family is ok with the guy's situation, and they asked about the guy and his reputation is good. They'll call them for another visit. In the second visit, Mary'll sit down, and she will talk to him, like, they're not going to sit with 1000000000000 miles in between. No, they're going to sit in the opposite of each other. And they'll discuss like, they're alone. In a corner of the room. And the old people will sit down in other part of the room, and talk like in different subject from the couple's one. It doesn't mean like they're going to listen for what the couple are saying. They're free to talk whatever they want, and May would tell him what she's looking in a guy, and whether she is ok or not in his situation, and he's going to tell her what he's looking for a girl and see if they match together or not. If not, then bye bye, but if the girl and the guy find that they can get along, there's another visit, they state clear in all wedding rules. And such and such. Then there's the engagement contract. A party, and congratulations to Marry.

I personally think that Islam's engagements are really interesting. Because when a guy comes to propose to the girl, he doesn't know her, but he will ask people about her, and they'll say whether she's a good or bad girl. That you will know whenever somebody is knocking on the door wanting to marry you, it's not because you're pretty. It's because your reputation between people is so good, that he wanted to ask you to merry him. You'll feel like you're a really important person.  

[Mini_Angel_1994]

Note: The hadith I typed is not confirmed, please wait until I find the correct translation of it. Thanks alot!  

[BubbleBerry Tea]

Mini_Angel_1994

Note: The hadith I typed is not confirmed, please wait until I find the correct translation of it. Thanks alot!

Okay, then I'll wait before responding. 3nodding  

[Mini_Angel_1994]

Just consider I haven't typed it, again it's not confirmed, I'm not sure whether the translation is correct or not. I know the way we can say it in Arabic, but in English, I'm not sure. So, just respond based on my porposal story. Lol!  

[Thou Exalted]

Ratri_Cat

Mini_Angel_1994

Just consider I haven't typed it, again it's not confirmed, I'm not sure whether the translation is correct or not. I know the way we can say it in Arabic, but in English, I'm not sure. So, just respond based on my porposal story. Lol!

I wouldn't feel important if a guy was interested in me because of what people said about me from behind my back.

neutral

Well yeah, because there's a possibility they can lie, But I dunno what family member would lie to the guy who's gonna marry their sister/Daughter/niece whichever. Unless there was some sort of trickery to keep their daughter from being married. xd  

[BubbleBerry Tea]

Haydar the Truthful

Ratri_Cat

Mini_Angel_1994

Just consider I haven't typed it, again it's not confirmed, I'm not sure whether the translation is correct or not. I know the way we can say it in Arabic, but in English, I'm not sure. So, just respond based on my porposal story. Lol!

I wouldn't feel important if a guy was interested in me because of what people said about me from behind my back.

neutral

Well yeah, because there's a possibility they can lie, But I dunno what family member would lie to the guy who's gonna marry their sister/Daughter/niece whichever. Unless there was some sort of trickery to keep their daughter from being married. xd

I think what Ratri was saying is that she'd rather be judged by her actions toward the boy than what people say about her to him.

And I have to agree with her. sweatdrop