Furries and Relationships (long discussion)

[Pom Graines]

Hm. Okay. There is a lot to talk about here so I think I'm going to pick and chose, for the sake of time and attempting to be concise.

I am a furry, sure. However, I don't find that being so has had any effect on how I percieve relationships and sexuality. While I understand casual sex and open relationships are relatively common in the furry community I don't find many polyamorists in general. Swingers, abundant, polyamorists, not as much from what I have been able to find and come across. Could just be the furry social circles I run in lack the poly people, who knows. Not all polyamorists are into causal sex, master/pet, ect. Generally it is seen that polyamory is meant to apply to those who are in consentual committed multiple parnter relationships, though some also fit swinging into polyamory the two terms are slowly growing further apart in each community.

Anyways, as anyone could probably tell I am polyamorist and in full support of the relationship type and lifestyle. I also support swingers and others who have casual sex. Why? Because I understand that it can be done in a safe, responsible and ethical manner. I don't agree with all of the sexual negativity in society today in general.

Personally I don't do the whole master/pet thing, I don't like it and I don't really get the appeal to it. However I don't bash it either.

A lot of the problems you were describing can be avoided by clear, open, honest communication, respect and set boundries and rules. If someone has a boyfriend/girlfriend but they also have a 'pet' the relationships should be clearly defined so everyone involved understands what it means to be the boy/girl-friend or the pet or the master in the relationship, everyone has to consent to being in such a relationship (the boy/girl- firned of the 'master' should be okay with him/her having a pet as well, the pet should be okay with their master having a boy/girl-friend and ect.) If feelings start to change then it should be discussed and the relationship should be re-evaluated by all involved. If the pet is wanting to move beyond their status as an 'on the side' sort of person (IF they were ever designated as such) then that should be discussed between everyone involed in the relationship. If it turned out not to be what the master and the boy/girl-friend wants then they have to stand up for that and not be forced into going beyond what they are comfortable with and what htye want out of a relationshp.

Trust, communication and respect are the key to any healthy relationship.

When it comes to casual sex and the risk of STIs it is a concern, however there are plenty of ways to protect andprevent the spread of STIs. A good way is to have a strict rule about everyone getting tested for STIs before partaking in sexual activity, always wearing protection (condoms, gloves, ect). Practicing safer sex is definately a must for many if not most people participating in the swinging or even just any form of multiple partner relationship that involves sexual activity.

This being said, I don't find anything wrong with people who chose to be or simply are monoamorous either. Everyone has different feelings, everyone has different paths to follow to find happiness, justice and love and I see no problem with this. In my mind diversity is a great thing.

Ah I don't think I've been very clear in this post and I apologise for it D: I'm pretty sick today and I'm just trying to pass the time so I thought I'd post my thoughts on the matter. Which my thoughts seem to be a bit scattered. If anyone has any questions or wants clerification just ask and I'll try to explain better <.<  

[Isaol-the-wolf]

Oh Snap! Quick everyone! Look innocent!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I don't understand how someone could have sex with someone and not have a relationship with them. Sounds a lot like....that, but in this case somebody doesn't get paid. I'll admit I have had some of "casual sex," but it was only one time, with this sl...girl at school who acted all into me, then the next day I found out she moved on to someone else, and then almost a new guy every couple days.

...Is there a difference between (pardon my language) "slut.'' and someone who thrives on casual sex?

@Erik

3nodding This means: Yessir.

sweatdrop This means: Ohh...kay?

confused This means: I wonder what I'm going to eat for dinner tonight.

cry This means: Broncos lost...AGAIN!

xd This means: That's what she said.

xp This means: Ha somebody made a naughty joke.

ninja This means: I watch you when you sleep.

question This means: Question Mark  

[Artemis Vulpes]

I consider myself a bit of a man-whore and see nothing wrong with it.  

[[-Erik-]]

Isaol-the-wolf

Oh Snap! Quick everyone! Look innocent!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I don't understand how someone could have sex with someone and not have a relationship with them. Sounds a lot like....that, but in this case somebody doesn't get paid. I'll admit I have had some of "casual sex," but it was only one time, with this sl...girl at school who acted all into me, then the next day I found out she moved on to someone else, and then almost a new guy every couple days.

...Is there a difference between (pardon my language) "slut.'' and someone who thrives on casual sex?

@Erik

3nodding This means: Yessir.

sweatdrop This means: Ohh...kay?

confused This means: I wonder what I'm going to eat for dinner tonight.

cry This means: Broncos lost...AGAIN!

xd This means: That's what she said.

xp This means: Ha somebody made a naughty joke.

ninja This means: I watch you when you sleep.

question This means: Question Mark

Sometimes you just need sex, you know.

Also!

gonk This means: AGH! Mexican food is SPICY.

 

[Sunegami]

Isaol-the-wolf

I don't understand how someone could have sex with someone and not have a relationship with them.

Some people are able to separate lust and love. I personally am not one of them, but I know people who are, and if that's what makes 'em happy, they're safe about it, and everyone involved is aware going into it, I say power to 'em.  

[Isaol-the-wolf]

I wouldn't be able to stand only have a relationship that only involves sex. I would like to have company in the future and not have any sexually transmitted diseases. I'm not saying that casual sex WILL give you a disease, there's just a heightened chance of getting one.  

[[-Erik-]]

STD's or being alone?

Hm, wich is worse....?

 

[Selene Aries]

[-Erik-]

STD's or being alone?

Hm, wich is worse....?

Not that those are you only options. rolleyes But I would rather take some risks in life than never living it to my full potential.  

[Pom Graines]

Isaol-the-wolf

I don't understand how someone could have sex with someone and not have a relationship with them. Sounds a lot like....that, but in this case somebody doesn't get paid. I'll admit I have had some of "casual sex," but it was only one time, with this sl...girl at school who acted all into me, then the next day I found out she moved on to someone else, and then almost a new guy every couple days.

...Is there a difference between (pardon my language) "slut.'' and someone who thrives on casual sex?

In my opinion? No, there isn't a difference. However, nor do I find 'slut' to be a word of shame, because I don't buy into the sexual negativity. There isn't anything wrong in someone enjoying and having sex, as long as they remain ethical, upfront and safe about the matter. Which is possible.

Also about the STI comment, it's possible yes. But those who practice the responsible and ethical sluthood lifestyle are generally quite aware of the risks and use all preventative methods possible. I know a certain swinger couple who have all potential lovers tested for STIs before proceeding with them, and should I have extra partners or lovers they would have to be tested as well before I have sex with them (likewise, I will submit myself for testing before sleeping with them).

Finally about the relationship that only involves sex.... it actually is fairly rare that something is *just* about sex. From what I have heard of people who live this lifestyle it is a lot more than just emotionless sex, but there is a passion and there can be deep emotion attatched to it and a great level of intimacy and caring. I personally know many of those in the lifestyle who make friendships, sometimes very deep ones, with those they have fun with and I don't see anything really wrong with that. I mean even one night stands can have connection and bonds attatched to them, however brief they may be it does not mean they aren't powerful, worth while or meaningful.

@[-Erik-]: You speak as though those are the only two options, but they are not. There are plenty of possibilities and plenty of options out there, as long as one is responsible and practices safer sex (which can include getting potential lovers and partners tested before engaging in sexual activity), then there is little to fear.  

[Selene Aries]

Hey, Mameoyashi, I just noticed you are a Giana Mod. We haven't seen someone with a green tag in this guild for awhile, though we have a couple ex-mods. Is always an interesting sight.

As well, you get a applause from me. Your words are very sound and wise. It has taken awhile to make similar realizations, but such is the learning curve of life. You learn a little more every day, not just about the world around you, but yourself.  

[[-Erik-]]

Diana Aries

[-Erik-]

STD's or being alone?

Hm, wich is worse....?

Not that those are you only options. rolleyes But I would rather take some risks in life than never living it to my full potential.

Whatever! I'd still wear a rubber 8D

 

[Selene Aries]

[-Erik-]

Whatever! I'd still wear a rubber 8D

This I would encourage, unless you know for sure both your partner and yourself are clean.  

[[-Erik-]]

Diana Aries

[-Erik-]

Whatever! I'd still wear a rubber 8D

This I would encourage, unless you know for sure both your partner and yourself are clean.

Agreed. But I don't want babies either.

I don't trust in those so called morning-after pills, or whatever they're called 8l

 

[Selene Aries]

[-Erik-]

Agreed. But I don't want babies either.

I don't trust in those so called morning-after pills, or whatever they're called 8l

Then you should look into getting a vasectomy.  

[[-Erik-]]

Diana Aries

[-Erik-]

Agreed. But I don't want babies either.

I don't trust in those so called morning-after pills, or whatever they're called 8l

Then you should look into getting a vasectomy.

That's going too far, I think I'll stick to the rubber tube.