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 Posted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 10:42 pm
19. There's so much crap on your face you look like a Maori warrior. You can't even begin to count the number of penises that were drawn on your face. Thankfully, someone already did, and wrote "p***s count" on your face, with handy tally marks cataloging them. At least, you hope that was a count of the drawings. . .
A door opens and out comes an average looking woman. "You were great last night," she says. Immediately thereafter a man comes out, looking up at you, concurring "I'll say."
"I don't remember too much of last night" you tell them, "but does anyone know where my pants are?"
"We haven't seen them since the limo ride with the midget" the woman tells you.
Just what in the hell did you do last night?
If you want to waste no time and go looking for your pants, vote 21.
If you'd like more details on last night, vote 22.
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Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 9:30 pm
22.
Pants are for squares.
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:48 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 3:21 pm
22. Well, you asked. They tell you all the horrid, horrid details. There was sex. There was vomiting. There was drunkenness. You made a total a** out of yourself in many places, and incidentally aren't invited back to any of them. You rented a limo. . . and a midget. That, incidentally, is the last time anyone last night saw your pants. The apartment, well, use your shameful imagination what went on here. Get out your abacus to figure out with how many people. Several of them begin streaming out of the room, and more than a few smack your posterior on their way to the kitchen. When you casually ask how many condoms you all went through last night, everyone laughs and goes "Condoms? Those are for sailors!"
You might want to go get checked out.
If you want to go to the doctor, vote 23.
If you think what you did is probably not a problem, and would prefer breakfast instead, vote 24.
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 3:34 pm
Aw, cra~p!
23.
Pregnancy test.
I don't wanna baby yet! Dx
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 8:56 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 7:13 am
23 For the love of Defoe
It had better have been hot kinky gay sex!
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 9:50 pm
23. Damn! Your phone, and your car keys, are both in your pants. Despite your desire to get to a doctor and get tested for, well, everything, you're going to need pants, transportation, and a mode of contact to schedule an appointment. You fashion a crude skirt out of a curtain and cajole one of the *ahem* people there to give you a ride. You can remember two places you were last night, O'Halligans, and a Limo.
If you want to investigate O'Halligans, vote 25.
If you want to check out the limo company, vote 26.
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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 8:03 am
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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:04 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:34 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 5:55 pm
25. As soon as you get through the door at O'Halligans the manager storms out and says "No. No way. Get out."
"Wait!" You protest "I just need to see if my pants were left here."
"No, they weren't, now get out. You're not allowed back here."
You stagger out of O'Halligans, largely due to the fact that the manager was shoving you out. You head back to the car, but steal a glance over at your work. You realize it's only Wednesday, and you're 5 hours late for work.
If you want to stop in and try and explain your absence, vote 27.
If you would prefer to head to the limo company for better luck at finding your pants, vote 28.
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Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 8:04 pm
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Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 3:40 pm
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:53 pm
28. You reach the Limo company. The manager steps out and is furious with you. "Do you know we had to send that limo to the cleaners after you and your friend used it last night. We're back-billing your friend by the way!"
"Wait," you ask "did you find a pair of pants and a cell phone in the limo last night?"
"No, why don't you try asking your friend?"
"I don't even know that guy. Do you have any way I can find him?"
"Here's one of his business cards. Try there. And when you leave here, don't ever come back to these premises again."
You take the business card and see it is for a "Jack Quarterlin's Short Store." Something tells you this is the infamous midget from last night. You also feel as if you're on a wild goose chase, and you're starting to get tired.
If you'd like to proceed to Jack's, vote 29.
If you would rather go home and spend the rest of the night canceling your credit cards, driver's license, cell phone contract, and ordering new documentation, vote 30.
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