Zorlock's Epic Battle of Epicness

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D15A1

MISS! 51 HP remaining!

Producing a Spirited 2k7 Peppermint Lollipop, Z creeps around to face Gambino again, a bright smile on his face as he holds out the festive treat.

But Gambino has apparently reinforced his Grinchitude Wall™, for he merely scowls and breaks the Lollipop over Zorlock's head. Z frowns as fragments of red and white candy sprinkle to the floor around him. "No more sweets, then? Okay, let's move on."  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D15A2

MISS! 51 HP remaining!

Zorlock stares for a moment at the fireplace. After a moment, he snaps his fingers and pulls a Christmas Stocking from his hat. He hangs it on the mantle and turns to see Gambino's reaction. But the man appears as miserly as before, obviously unimpressed by the big red sock.  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D16A1

MISS! 51 HP remaining!

Not giving up, Z attempts to hang some Spirited 2k6 Mistletoe over the door. Gambino glares at him, and Z takes it right back down again. "Yeah, okay, that would just be weird. My bad."  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D16A2

MISS! 51 HP remaining!

Sigh...

"Maybe some Xmas tunes will help?" Zorlock produces some Caroling Sheet Music, holding it up with a smile.

Gambino rips it out of his hands and tosses it into the fireplace. Z sighs. "You're not making this easy, are you?"  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D17A1

HIT! 1 damage! 50 HP remaining!

...Very funny, Dice Gods.

Zorlock shrugs. "That's fine, I don't need sheet music to sing Xmas songs." He clears his throat and begins to sing Frosty the Snowman.

Several notes in, and Gambino hasn't strangled him yet. Z considers that a victory, but decides to move on to a different song, just in case.  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D17A2

MISS! 50 HP remaining!

Shifting gears, Z starts in with Jingle Bells. Gambino immediately moves to throttle him.

Zorlock retreats to the other side of a couch. "No? Alright. I don't really like that song, either."  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D18A1

MISS! 50 HP remaining!

Running out of ideas, Z ducks behind the couch and out of Gambino's sight. When he pops back up, he's got a Carrot Nose and a goofy grin on his face.

Gambino does not seem impressed.  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D18A2

HIT! 4 damage! 46 HP remaining!

Z lowers his head in thought. He still has some ideas, but at the rate he's going, it doesn't seem likely that he'll defeat Gambino's Grinchitude Wall™ any time soon.

He glances up when he hears a crunching noise. Gambino, apparently trying to be discreet, is munching on one of the cookies Zorlock placed earlier. Z grins, but pretends he doesn't notice.  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D19A1

MISS! 46 HP remaining!

As Gambino munches on a cookie, Zorlock gets back to decorating. He reaches into his hat and pulls out...

...an Orindae 8th generation?

Z quickly stuffs the item back into his hat. He casts a sheepish grin in Gambino's direction. "Wrong item."

Gambino, having finished his snack, merely crosses his arms in disapproval.  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D19A2

MISS! 46 HP remaining!

Zorlock decides to try another approach. "Alright, J.K., I think I know what to do. We gotta get you, yourself, into some Christmas garb. No amount of household decorations will get you in the spirit if you don't look the part. Whaddaya say?"

But Gambino has apparently stopped listening. He casts Z a murderous glare. "Did you just call me...J.K.?"

"What? Oh, I guess I did. You don't like it?"

An iron fireplace poker spears into the wall behind Z, just to the left of his head.

"I guess you don't like it."  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D20A1

MISS! 46 HP remaining!

Ignoring the danger to his life, Z strolls over to Gambino and examines him. "You're quite a bit bigger than me, but I think we can make this work. Now, the first step in any excellent Xmas outfit is picking the right hat." With that, Zorlock produces a Spirited 2k8 Peppermint Cap and plops it on Gambino's head.

Gambino plucks it off and tears it in half.

Z moves back, considering. "Or maybe the hat was step two."  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D20A2

MISS! 46 HP remaining!

"Maybe a good scarf is what you need." Z wraps a Spirited 2k6 Scarf around Gambino's neck. The big man rips it away and shoves it in Zorlock's mouth.  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

Whoops. Forgot the dice.  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D21A1

HIT! 9 damage! 37 HP remaining!

Z pulls the scarf out of his mouth. "We'll work on your outfit later. Let's see what else I've got." He digs around in his hat for a moment, then decides to just turn it upside down and dumps out a Mountain of Presents.

Gambino suddenly relives a childhood memory of opening presents on Christmas morning. That moment of nostalgia takes a hefty chunk out of his humbug-ness. All Z notices is a brief smile on the man's face, but he can tell the presents had an impact.  

[Zorlock Darksoul]

D21A2

MISS! 37 HP remaining!

Deciding to press his luck, Zorlock follows up the Mountain of Presents with a Spirited 2k6 Gift Bag, offering it to Gambino. But the moment has passed, and the big man is unmoved.