[Q] Sovasu, Kitsune (nogitsune) - Ready

[Frezir]

bumping up for another day <3  

[Frezir]

bumping up for another day <3  

[x-Asylum Error-x]

I love Krovi! I think his personality is well thought out and pretty solid. I love the explanation about his eye. Very creative. And the parenting thing...QQ
The only thing I found somewhat "lacking" is his FEAR. It needs...more. Perhaps explain how it would grow over time. Where you are is a great start~

(By the way if we both get our quest characters Nim is going to want to be Krovi's friend whee )

crit/comment back? Nim  

[Frezir]

Thank you, Error!
Should work on it *nods*
D'aw Nim is just too cute > w<  

[Manda]

I'm kind of curious about this voodoo doll thing o: That little piece seems more like part of his history rather than personality, and I want to see how it affected him later on in life. For example, how bad of a kid was he? Did he get punished a lot and slowly become more and more afraid and better behaved? Or was he generally a good child and not punished much?

Also, how does he feel about his parents punishing him like that? Were they right to do it, or did he think it was mean and cruel?

Aaand for stuff in the 'now', how would that affect how he reacts to failure? Either his own or others. Or his teachers telling him he was doing badly at something. What about other forms of discipline like detention, etc. Would he think they were better, worse, stupid, and so on~ It seems like something such as being punished by a voodoo doll/pain all the time could have a significant effect on him!  

[Frezir]

Well I have added about the history of the voodoo doll, history on his punishment, and history on his behavior.

As far as sub-coming to pain over and over again, it actually doesn't have a good effect on him. It was a rare occurrence that created the small strand of paranoia. He was actually terribly afraid of getting punished by the voodoo doll.  

[Frezir]

Pachurz

Is he going to be categorized in the same stuff as a Kitsune would be? If so, I believe the natural ability will need to match the two kitsunes already in existence.

Well, I want to say try to make a halloween-spin on '911', since that's an American-human-culture number and it keeps pulling me out of the 'Halloween' aspect of the quest. I also want to say you should ask Chilizaru about the 'justice' system in Halloween Town since again, you're equating it to the human culture. Though I'm confused between the 'It was a car accident' and the 'it was the kids fault'.

Clarify how the Boogeymen came to the conclusion Krovi was to blame for what looks like a car accident (Did they find something hink-y in the breaks? Did something suspicious happen to their voodoo dolls?)

Other than that, Nothing really stands out as "NEEDS MOAR WEEERKKK" to me

 

[Frezir]

Edited and time to see if he's ready now <3  

[Frezir]

Bumping up  

[Frezir]

bump up  

[Frezir]

up again <3  

[Frezir]

up again > w<  

[Frezir]

Need to bring this up  

[Pepzilla]

I'm pretty sure I've looked at this guy before so I'll do what I can here. =]

Aesthetically- Something I'm always always dogging on people about so I'll just jump to this first. (plus its my favorite to analyze!) I think I might've told you before that I really like his design and I still do. I applaud you for the design here, it works. I don't sense too much fluff and cute (although I would ponder at the doodle by satan ;] ) in his overall design and I'm a big fan of multi colored eyes. It does give him a unique edge over other kitsune designs which seem to be pretty abundant here. So I wouldn't suggest many changes here.

Personality and 'Frightened' nature: I don't like the use of 'frightened' in his personality. There shouldn't be characters that are frightened of something like that in the school. HOWEVER, I am always up for a little bit of hearing things but it's gotta be done right. In Krovi's case you've backed a lot of his personality on the fact that his parents died and it traumatized him. In a lot of ways death is accepted in Halloween Town death is embraced in a lot of cultures and it's really uh.. western? to be overtly mournful. I feel that maybe instead of being paranoid and extremely lamentful over them and any voices he hears, he embraces them in a... creepy way? Like.. its a little cliche but it does work better with the idea of the shop. Ironically I think Im telling you to actually lighten the character up which is hard to just say. Consider an eerie bliss- think about when people reach deep levels of ecstasy with the spiritual realm and how its kind of genuinely scary to watch.

Im assuming he wasn't there to watch when it happened- that could effect the way he feels about their death (and Im not suggesting him see it, definitely not!!). Perhaps he could be in such a level of denial that he assumes they are still with him in a non tangible form only communicable through those "voices".

As for the voodoo doll pins and such I would really think that after a while he builds up a tolerance to the feeling and with this you could probably play it as a FEAR ability if you wanted too; as in aura-manifested pin needles that attack the enemy which is obviously not tolerant to the feeling like he would be. The darkness ability is cool and consistent but if you're looking for something that may come from his personality some then the pins may be a better route to go. Otherwise they don't feel very strong to me in his story. I just can't imagine the feeling being so overwhelmingly bad that 1, his family would even use it on him, and 2, the tolerance thing would just make sense after a while because it seems very weak as is to his backstory.

Just repeating myself here but I gotta gotta push to you that there is very little sense in keeping him at such an introverted level. Not speaking is okay, you can at least go in various directions with that but being so frail is just not suitable for life at Amityville. I know that you're going for the more passive style character here but there's ways to play it off less fragile.
Oh and before I forget to echo my suggestion about the voices being more benevolent, this would affect his reason for coming to the school so that would need to be looked over! .o/

Again, I know I've looked at him before so I apologize if anything contradicts what I may have said before but obviously you've worked on him a lot since then and I definitely can tell this so good luck!!  

[Frezir]

Thank you so much for the critic, king <3

Edited everything!