Pagans and Self-Image (Read First Post)

[Ezinu]

Well im pretty happy with myself... most of the time. I could stand to weigh a little less just so that i would be compleatly out of the over weight range. I wouldnt mind working out a little more and getting in better shape but its not needed really and probably wont happen since im so lazy hehe. I was losing more weight when i had the money to eat regularly and healthy and also when i had a stove and an over but i will soon be moving into a house with one so live will be good again. I pretty much need to start doing sit ups and i wouldnt mind losing a little weight from my breasts i think my boyfriend would dissagree though he rather enjoys them.  

[Siofra Da`Halbria]

I, like almost all girls, am unhappy with my looks. Most people think that I don't care at all because I don't wear makeup, do my hair beyond brushing it and pulling it back, and the fact that I wear jeans and baggy T-shirts almost every day. I'm not really unhappy with the looks I can paint or put on, but with my body.

Jameta hasn't seen me since I was a size 12. I'm a size 18 right now. The year I started 9th grade (the year I met Jammeh) I started out at about a size 14. That year was my slacker year. I did PE, but only because I had to. For lunch, I either had french fries or an oreo frappucino thingie. Neither were very healthy. I would go home and sit around the house all day on the internet and in my room, usually only eating a cheese sandwich for dinner. Somehow I managed to get to a 12.

Then I went to California. I spent the summer hanging out with my friend Natalee eating rice and popcorn and watching "I Love the 90's" everyday. I walked to the store once every week or two. Somehow, on this highly unhealthy diet and exercise (or lack there of) regime, I dropped to 125 pounds and a size 9. A 9. When I walked to the store I literally had guys whistling at me and honking. I loved it. I had never felt better about my body. Then I moved back in with my family about a month before summer was over.

Within 6 months, I was back up to a 12. I ate salads all the time and would go walking in the woods to help manage my weight. But by the end of 10th grade, I was a 16 again.

I stayed a 16 for all of 11th grade, gaining a few pounds, but not enough to cause me to move into an 18. That summer I got a job at a grocery store pushing carts, hoping that all that movement and physical labor would help me lose weight. I lost about 5 pounds in the whole 7 months I worked there.

Alas, then there was 12th grade, this most recent school year. I joined an aerobics class, and we worked out 5 days a week, for about 45 minutes every day, doing weights, running, walking, aerobics, and pilates. Despite all that working out, and often walking to and from school (about 3 miles, round trip) in the blazing Texas heat, I gained weight. About 20 pounds. It was all muscle, but the problem is that I didn't lose any fat. So I gained muscle and inches, which made me larger. Hence I'm an 18. I now weigh about 200 pounds. And that hurts.

I gained 75 pounds in 3 years, despite watching what I eat and exercising. I know that's not healthy, and I should talk to my doctor about it, but I'm very uncomfortable talking about my weight at all. Because of how quickly I have gained this weight, I have stretch marks on my thighs, hips, and stomach. I am hoping that when I get the courage to talk to my doctor about it, I'll lose weight and my stretch marks will fade at least a little.





I also hate my breasts. I can never find a comfortable bra or wear anything with a low neckline because my breasts are two different sizes. One's a C and the other's a D. If I buy a C bra, the bigger one is always pinched and poked, meaning I have to readjust a lot. If I buy a D bra, there tends to be quite a bit of extra material for the cup over my smaller one, so it bunches up and I have to readjust more. It's very noticeable if I don't wear loose shirts, and it makes me very uncomfortable.

I have decided that if they don't even out naturally in the next 2 or 3 years (when I'm 20 or 21) I'm going to have an implant put in the smaller one so I can be even on both sides. I hate feeling and looking lopsided.





Like several other people here, I am allergic to a lot of soaps and perfumes. If I wash my hands with the soap in public restrooms too much, I have a horrible allergic reaction. The skin on my hands dries up and flakes off, my hands turn bright red, and it itches terribly. The first time this happened to me (last year), I was scared because I didn't know what was going on with my hands. I was crying hysterically because all of this developed in just a few days. When my skin got dry, I washed my hands (making it worse) and tried lotion. The only way to make my allergic reaction stop was to wash my hands in paint thinner. It cleared up almost over night. Now I always use Irish Spring or Dawn when I wash my hands.

Same goes for laundry detergent and fabric softener. There are only a few I can use. If I don't use the safe ones, my whole body turns red, I get itchy all over, and I can barely breathe. So I do all my own laundry. Just bathing is dangerous, so my clothes I take care of myself. I'd like to live a little longer, thank you.

Wow. I know that was really long, and most of it was about my weight. I bet most of you guys just skipped over it or just glanced at a few sentences.  

[Winter Black]

Siofra, I read the whole thing. It took a little time, but I read it.

You can eat unhealthy, and exercize, and still be in good shape. I see it all the time. For some people, what healthy is unhealthy, and vice versa.
I have the same problem with losing weight. No matter what I do, I can't lose the fat already on my body, but I keep gaining muscle. I weigh 215 pounds. Its not fun. I'm a size 22. Its not fun. (But! I still get honked at, and hit on. So I'm alright.)

My breasts are the same size(s). I generally stuff the proper amount of fabric on the smaller side, because I have no choice but to wear a larger bra. Its terrible, but it works. If I were you, I'd have a reduction, instead of an implant. C's are managable, D's will give you back problems.

Is it Eczema you have? I have a lot of the same problems... My skin gets red, flaky, itchy... Sometimes my cheeks swell, and my nose gets red as the seeds from a pommegranette. I swear I spelled that wrong.
I use the brand "Soft Soap", because it turned out I was allergic to a lot of other soaps. I can only use Dawn, or Sunlight, when I do the dishes.
I have to use special shampoo, as well. Fructis. For Greasy Roots, Dry Ends. And I can't use any tyupe of conditioner, it makes my hair get too greasy, too quickly, which make my scalp itch. Sometimes, I even get pimples on the top of my head, and in my hair. That is not cool. Those ones hurt the most...
I'm also allergic to anything less than pure silver... I can't wear impure, ot mixed, metals.  

[Guitarhero356]

My self image now has become quite a bit more feminine. Let me explain,. tis is my first life as a guy/////////  

[The Bookwyrm]

Winter and Siofra, have either of you accounted for stress in your lives? Especially with women, stress packs on uber poundage. I think that's a big part of my problem; I'm the same that no matter what I do, nothing seems to help me loose weight, but I also know that I'm a high stress person. Bills, tuitions, papers, class, issues among friends, and a spoition as a supervisor at a university meal hall don't exactly help my mental state, and I think they're culprits in my wieght.

Siofra, a part of your problem might also be were you had lost so much weight so quickly when you were in California. If you lose and gain weight often enough, as I have in the past, you notice that once you lose weight, you gain that back very quickly when your situation changes and somehow those pounds have brough back friends. I could lose five pounds, and put on anywhere between seven to ten on my next weight gain. And it's murder to try and take it off.  

[Siofra Da`Halbria]

Winter Black

Siofra, I read the whole thing. It took a little time, but I read it.

You can eat unhealthy, and exercize, and still be in good shape. I see it all the time. For some people, what healthy is unhealthy, and vice versa.
I have the same problem with losing weight. No matter what I do, I can't lose the fat already on my body, but I keep gaining muscle. I weigh 215 pounds. Its not fun. I'm a size 22. Its not fun. (But! I still get honked at, and hit on. So I'm alright.)

Yeah. I guess I just need to find out what really works for me. Apparently it's "I Love the 90's" and popcorn.

Winter Black

My breasts are the same size(s). I generally stuff the proper amount of fabric on the smaller side, because I have no choice but to wear a larger bra. Its terrible, but it works. If I were you, I'd have a reduction, instead of an implant. C's are managable, D's will give you back problems.

Hah. I watch Doctor 90201 all the time and all those girls with uneven breasts get implants. I'll have to consider reduction though.

Winter Black

Is it Eczema you have? I have a lot of the same problems... My skin gets red, flaky, itchy... Sometimes my cheeks swell, and my nose gets red as the seeds from a pommegranette. I swear I spelled that wrong.

Wow. I probably do. It runs in my family then. My mom, my brother, my sister, and me all have it. Our mom has always just called them allergies. I thought Eczema was a rash until I looked it up on WebMD. No idea it was an allergy thing. I should probably ask my doctor.

Winter Black

I use the brand "Soft Soap", because it turned out I was allergic to a lot of other soaps. I can only use Dawn, or Sunlight, when I do the dishes.

I use Irish Spring. It makes me smell manly, and I'm not allergic to it! rofl And I just don't do the dishes. ninja Dishwasher hold much power.

Winter Black

I have to use special shampoo, as well. Fructis. For Greasy Roots, Dry Ends. And I can't use any tyupe of conditioner, it makes my hair get too greasy, too quickly, which make my scalp itch. Sometimes, I even get pimples on the top of my head, and in my hair. That is not cool. Those ones hurt the most...
I'm also allergic to anything less than pure silver... I can't wear impure, ot mixed, metals.

I use Herbal Essence for color treated hair. I used to use the Coconut Suave, but I had to wash my hair every day (and you should really only wash it every other day) because it got so greasy. I also have dandruff, but I think that's from dying my hair so much. Now I'm trying to let it grow out to my real color. I don't get the pimples though. I don't think I have any metal allergies. My class ring is stainless steel.  

[Winter Black]

Siofra Da`Halbria

Yeah. I guess I just need to find out what really works for me. Apparently it's "I Love the 90's" and popcorn.

[laughs] I know a girl who can eat, and eat, and eat, and not gain a pound. She can also go for spells of only eating every two days, and retain her same figure. I sometimes wish I had her metabolism, but she's a little off in what she eats, so it probably just the junkfood.

Siofra Da`Halbria

Hah. I watch Doctor 90201 all the time and all those girls with uneven breasts get implants. I'll have to consider reduction though.

Sometimes women can't get reduced (as in, their breast is already at a size where further reduction is not possible), and so they have to get an implant. Other times, they just want to have big, even breasts. [shrugs] Its personal choice.

Siofra Da`Halbria

Wow. I probably do. It runs in my family then. My mom, my brother, my sister, and me all have it. Our mom has always just called them allergies. I thought Eczema was a rash until I looked it up on WebMD. No idea it was an allergy thing. I should probably ask my doctor.

Asking your doctor would be a very good idea, as you can never be too sure. I used to get a cream for it, when I was younger. But I haven't needed it in so long, I can't remember what it was.

Siofra Da`Halbria

I use Irish Spring. It makes me smell manly, and I'm not allergic to it! rofl And I just don't do the dishes. ninja Dishwasher hold much power.

I have no choice, I have to do dishes. Its the only chore they ask me to do, and I've been doing it since I was 10. I turn 18 on Monday.

Siofra Da`Halbria

I use Herbal Essence for color treated hair. I used to use the Coconut Suave, but I had to wash my hair every day (and you should really only wash it every other day) because it got so greasy. I also have dandruff, but I think that's from dying my hair so much. Now I'm trying to let it grow out to my real color. I don't get the pimples though. I don't think I have any metal allergies. My class ring is stainless steel.

I can use Herbal Essence, it's fine for my hair (and skin, the soap is wonderful), but generally I just use Fructis. It smells so much nicer, in my opinion. Well, the one (greasy roots, dry ends) that I use, anyways.
I've dyed my hair. I don't do it often, just when I need a change. And usually red or something dark, because my hair is already a fairly dark brown. I want to make it light, and dye it something great, like rainbow.
I can't wear a lot of jewelery. The upside? I know if the person I'm dating is cheap or not. [laughs]  

[Trollhammarentime]

Winter Black

Siofra Da`Halbria

Yeah. I guess I just need to find out what really works for me. Apparently it's "I Love the 90's" and popcorn.

[laughs] I know a girl who can eat, and eat, and eat, and not gain a pound. She can also go for spells of only eating every two days, and retain her same figure. I sometimes wish I had her metabolism, but she's a little off in what she eats, so it probably just the junkfood.

That pretty much describes me. I can pig out for days and not gain anything, and I can not eat for days and not loose anything. I'm 136 and 5'9" and it's a little fustrating because I want to gain weight so I can put on some muscle.

Do you think you lot of could give me some advise as to how I can put on some healthy pounds? Maybe to 145 or something.

By the way, I have an extreamly high metabolism. I can eat a bowl of cereal, a bagel with peanut butter, an apple and a bowl of left over pasta at 8am and be absolutly starving by 10am, it's so annoying. stare




I never thought I'd be asking how to GAIN weight....  

[Winter Black]

Thats quite a predicament... Changing your diet can have affects on your weight, but I'm not sure on healthy ways to gain weight... You could try eating a lot of heavy foods, pastas, breads, perogies, and so on... Thats about the best advice I have.  

[Trollhammarentime]

Yeah, quite a few of those foods are high in carbs. The heavier foods do fill me up for longer, your right, but I still burn them up faster then I can eat them.


Stupid teenage metabolism!  

[The Bookwyrm]

If you're looking to put on muscle, eat foods that are high in protien. Maybe look into a shake or a supplament of some sort, like the football players at my university do (no steroids! lol ). Then hit the gym. High rep/low weight tones muscle, while low rep/high weight will build it.  

[Winter Black]

Gypsy Blue

Winter and Siofra, have either of you accounted for stress in your lives? Especially with women, stress packs on uber poundage. I think that's a big part of my problem; I'm the same that no matter what I do, nothing seems to help me loose weight, but I also know that I'm a high stress person. Bills, tuitions, papers, class, issues among friends, and a position as a supervisor at a university meal hall don't exactly help my mental state, and I think they're culprits in my wieght.

I don't have anything like that to worry about. I live with my parents, I don't work, I don't go to school, I don't have bills, I don't really have friends because I hate this city, and I don't really give two shits about the people in it... There's almost nothing stressful in my life.  

[The Bookwyrm]

Winter Black

Gypsy Blue

Winter and Siofra, have either of you accounted for stress in your lives? Especially with women, stress packs on uber poundage. I think that's a big part of my problem; I'm the same that no matter what I do, nothing seems to help me loose weight, but I also know that I'm a high stress person. Bills, tuitions, papers, class, issues among friends, and a position as a supervisor at a university meal hall don't exactly help my mental state, and I think they're culprits in my wieght.

I don't have anything like that to worry about. I live with my parents, I don't work, I don't go to school, I don't have bills, I don't really have friends because I hate this city, and I don't really give two shits about the people in it... There's almost nothing stressful in my life.

Lucky! I think I suffer the highest stress when I live with my parents, simply because my mother and I just don't get along. At all. Glad to hear that stress isn't an issue for you.  

[justGhostie]

i am definately (thats the worst spelling, i know) out of shape, but none of my friends would say im fat. also, all the way around im not looking too great xD just for....laziness reasons. i.e. i never touch my hair (thus its really short) and so forth.