Funniest attempts at insults

[Your.Grandpas.Daughter]

"Im not igMorant! Stupid!"
I almost pissed myself.  

[Shadow`s Enigma]

Amazingly, I don't get lots of 'insults'... but then again, maybe it's because of my trench coat that I wear and the expression on my face that reads 'mess with me, and I will ******** kill you'. Hum... anyways.
The few that I do get, I either 1)ignore, 2)have a nice comback, or 3)answer with a long detail on why they're wrong, to the point where they're just giving me a 'wtf' expression, and finally just say 'whatever' and go off, ignoring me for the rest of the year.

Most people's 'insults' are really just... lame... and retarded.  

[A Little Retarded]

I just yell awful pick up lines at random people.

Me: DID IT HURT?
Them: what?
Me: WHEN YOU HIT YOUR HEAD COMING UP FROM HELL!...WAIT...THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND! NEVER MIND!

...I like to do cheesy things. It leaves good weird memories for ya -.- sort of... I can do that on my own. I'll be dancing to no song and then I'll start randomly singing...  

[Your.Grandpas.Daughter]

Speaking of bad pick up lines
I have had this one a million times
"I use to be goth sooo"
Or even worse then that
"I know a goth person soooo"
I was like "Your serious?"

Best insult from my friend was

Me- Because you were droped on your head
Him- You were to but you landed on your face and it sheilded your brain. to bad for your face thow.
Me- Ownt.
XD
I have dumb friends  

[MortSanglant]

Your.Grandpas.Daughter

Speaking of bad pick up lines
I have had this one a million times
"I use to be goth sooo"
Or even worse then that
"I know a goth person soooo"
I was like "Your serious?"

Holy crap! I've gotten those too! This one kid I met my freshman year of colllege literally used that exact one on me. (The first listed, that is.)

It was ridiculous.

 

[Athiel]

Dorian Requiem

I've gotten a few honks, dunno if it was mates of mine passing buy, or idiots being idiots. I got the "I would kick you in the face if you piss me off" thing going on. I don't remember what bullies were like when I actually had any, they lasted 1 week before getting scared... emo lol

Happens alot. I once stood at a bus stop for 10 minutes, during that time no less than 15 people honked and waved. I didn't recognise any of them. rather annoying when you don't even know if it was meant to be an insult.

As for Insults. The clumsiest one has to be the one time in my tiny home town.

I'm chilling in the corridor with a few friends. when some random bumhole walks by and shouts: "Wft ru wearing a skirt for???" a few seconds pass, he continues "I bet u have a v****a!!!!" He starts laughing nervously and runs out of the school.  

[cheesey]

guy on my bus 1: ho s**t! its one o' dem gothics!
guy on my bus 2: you betta not be talkin' 'bout dem gothic satanic bitches. i head they come eat you if you make 'em pissed.
guy 1: fo' real? like hannible lector s**t?
guy 2: yeah, man. you pisse that b***h off she gon' come after you at night and eat your damn liver!

at that point in time i couldnt help but burst out laughing, which scared the hell out of the guys. from that day forward, i earn the nickname 'crazy b***h'. they even wrote me into one of their rap songs one time, which i actually rather enjoyed, because, despite the fact that they are complete ididots, they are actually pretty talented freestyle rappers.

another time someone else on the bus tried to insult me by saying i dressed like a rockstar. im not sure whats so bad about rockstars, but they thought it was funny.

and most recently, on this same bus, ive earned the new nickname "the color purple" because i have purple hair.  

[Tierra_de_Fuego]

worst insult ever: Satan called, he wants his look back...

me: Your mother called, she says to remember to change your diapers, chicken s**t stare

...

woman at store: omg, honey, that's one of satan's children...remember not to make eye contact

me: rofl  

[Tierra_de_Fuego]

Tierra_de_Fuego

worst insult ever: Satan called, he wants his look back...

me: Your mother called, she says to remember to change your diapers, chicken s**t stare

...

woman at store: omg, honey, that's one of satan's children...remember not to make eye contact

me: rofl

edit: and I don't even dress goth...I mean, it's Puerto Rico, I'd die of a heatstroke...of course, I wear black a lot... but I'm not really goth
Plus, I don't have that much cash gonk  

[DR490N]

i was told by a christian that i was going to hell. he chose to say this simply because i was walking around with a black shirt with some tears safety pinned together. the same shirt in my signature actually.  

[Isobel Bellamy]

Recently,

"goth b***h" from two council workers in a van (yes, CITY council workers),

some random guys, groping me (lovely people in this city) not even having the decency to put an insult my way

lots of people in cars beeping at me..... this was all in one day by the way

Perhaps it was the black trousers with buckles all the way down them in 100F heat....

A cautionary tale:

By the end, I was obviously more than a little pissed off....to my shame I reacted badly to the next person that approched me...
I saw someone I'd never seen before in my life walking near me smiling at me as if I knew him (I was very confused at not seeing anyone behind me), he stopped infront of me, and seemed as if he was about to reach for my butt......I was not inpressed and as such, I very calmly, told him
"you dare touch me, I'll go all goth on you and sacrifice you to a goat-headed demon god"
yes, I regret saying that, I know the drill goths aren't devil-worshipers and the like, but I was hot, tired and very very ******** off!!...... sweatdrop redface
....the guy looked at me as if I was completely insane (well...obviously)...and proceded to compliment me on my trousers....*ahem* I was dutifully ashamed and embrassed  

[Tom Gunn 666]

funniest attempt at an insult...anything involving ones mother...  

[Your.Grandpas.Daughter]

MortSanglant

Your.Grandpas.Daughter

Speaking of bad pick up lines
I have had this one a million times
"I use to be goth sooo"
Or even worse then that
"I know a goth person soooo"
I was like "Your serious?"

Holy crap! I've gotten those too! This one kid I met my freshman year of colllege literally used that exact one on me. (The first listed, that is.)

It was ridiculous.

My record is three in one day wile I was at a farm x)
International Hick geeks hit on "goth" day
Its creeepy the same words all of them like it planned  

[Bark-Bark]

I just get called satanic worshipper,and some other s**t.I get alot of questions why I dress like this and s**t.And then everyone tried to change me and these preppy sluts said I'd look alot cuter if I'd dress like themm  

[lola_siannodel]

The worst attempt at an insult? When some kid who's annoyed me for a long while said that I wen fishing with my fishnet shirts. xd