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 Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 12:01 am
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The Del Was bored and feeling really down the other night and I couldn't sleep so I typed this s**t on my phone.... sweatdrop Why is it that I feel so left out, so unloved, so cold, so empty, so, dead? Is it because I also feel so far gone from the rest of the world, so distant from everyone, so alone… Am I just so different that I don’t realize that I’m the one in the wrong, and people just agree to make me feel better? Why does it feel like I have no friends, no one to care for me? Why do I feel so betrayed? Who am I? Am I really this person they say I am, or am I someone else completely? What am I? Am I actually real, or just a figment of someone’s pathetic imagination? What do I think of myself? I guess I have just explained that in a sublime message, a series of questions… What do others think of me? Am I answering my own questions without realizing? These are the things that keep me going. These are the things that break my down. These are the things I want answered. This is my life. Welcome to my place in this wretched world… And true neutral |
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 12:02 am
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WarriorShadow The Del Was bored and feeling really down the other night and I couldn't sleep so I typed this s**t on my phone.... sweatdrop Why is it that I feel so left out, so unloved, so cold, so empty, so, dead? Is it because I also feel so far gone from the rest of the world, so distant from everyone, so alone… Am I just so different that I don’t realize that I’m the one in the wrong, and people just agree to make me feel better? Why does it feel like I have no friends, no one to care for me? Why do I feel so betrayed? Who am I? Am I really this person they say I am, or am I someone else completely? What am I? Am I actually real, or just a figment of someone’s pathetic imagination? What do I think of myself? I guess I have just explained that in a sublime message, a series of questions… What do others think of me? Am I answering my own questions without realizing? These are the things that keep me going. These are the things that break my down. These are the things I want answered. This is my life. Welcome to my place in this wretched world… And true neutral 3nodding And to make it worse on everyone else, just ask JubJub how I was on Saturday, the day after I did that.
EDIT: And so everyone knows... That's the s**t that's running through my brain every time I get depressed.
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Posted: Sat May 28, 2005 7:47 am
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The Del Was bored and feeling really down the other night and I couldn't sleep so I typed this s**t on my phone.... sweatdrop Why is it that I feel so left out, so unloved, so cold, so empty, so, dead? Is it because I also feel so far gone from the rest of the world, so distant from everyone, so alone… Am I just so different that I don’t realize that I’m the one in the wrong, and people just agree to make me feel better? Why does it feel like I have no friends, no one to care for me? Why do I feel so betrayed? Who am I? Am I really this person they say I am, or am I someone else completely? What am I? Am I actually real, or just a figment of someone’s pathetic imagination? What do I think of myself? I guess I have just explained that in a sublime message, a series of questions… What do others think of me? Am I answering my own questions without realizing? These are the things that keep me going. These are the things that break my down. These are the things I want answered. This is my life. Welcome to my place in this wretched world…
but man its intense
rock on brother |
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 4:52 am
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 4:56 am
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 4:57 am
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 4:58 am
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Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 4:59 pm
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Why am I here?
Why is it that I must be in this cage?
Surrounding me,
Suffocating me,
So many rules and expectations...
Why won't they accept me for who I am?
Am I really that pathetic?
Such an insult to this undignified world?
I am who I am,
I may not like it but it's all I have,
Nothing they do or say can change that,
So why do they still squeeze and twist me?
Block me from living my life?
Trying to make me who they want and not who I am?
I don't want to be here,
I don't want to live this life,
If I were to end it right now would they care?
Of course not,
They'd be happy,
For the one they couldn't change would not be an issue for them anymore,
I would release the burden from them.
For this reason I say goodbye,
To the few who accepted me as I am I love you,
I love you all so much,
Do not hurt for me but be happy,
Think of the many people who will benefit from my decision and end,
Goodbye.
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Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 12:29 am
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Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 6:20 am
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 4:29 am
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It's like I'm ******** mad at everything. Anything that could possibly go wrong, even those that seem good, I get mad at and hate just in anticipation for them to sour and turn to the s**t I deserve. I don't deserve anything, and I hate everything that I have. I get mad at people all the time and treat them like s**t. I push people away regularly. It's as though I'm scared of having people getting near me, to understand me and be able to use such an understanding against me. Is it just my way of protecting myself from harm, or am I just being rediculous and pathetic? I look out on everyone and see them smiling and enjoying their lives with each other. Is there something I'm missing? Am I missing out on a major aspect of life just because I'm just too afraid? Too much of a bloody idiot to understand that maybe I'm being too careful and should just not try and look after myself? Why am I so caring of some aspects of myself, but fail to look after others at all? Why do I always have to be so hypocrital and moody? Is it alright to blame PMS every single time when it's not actually the reason? The only reason being that I am me. I am the way I am and I don't think there is anything I can do about it. I hate being the way I am. I just want it to all stop, no matter what I have to do, I want it to stop. Not just for me, but for everyone else. I am a pain in the arse to everyone, I waste their time and then push them away. It's like I use everyone I come across. For once I have decided that I will do something right. I will not be a burden to you anymore. There is no reason for any of you to have to put up with my s**t anymore. Goodbye guild, goodbye gaia, goodbye uni, goodbye work, goodbye life. It ends tonight.
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