|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon May 30, 2005 7:12 am
 |
|
|
 |
Okay here's my problem:
I don't know what to do next.
Well, I guess that it's more of I know what I should do and I do want to do it, but at the same time I really don't want to.
At the moment I have no plans for what I'm going to do next year. I am seriously thinking about moving away to go to uni, because all of the unis around here suck arse. This means I'll have to move to Melbourne and leave many things behind. Friends... I'm not too worried about, I mean, most of them will be moving anyway and I already have a few friends down there. Family is okay, my brother lives down there and I guess I'll see the rest often enough. I really really don't want to leave my boyfriend though sad We've been together for almost 3 years and I really hate the idea of a long distance relationship, and I don't want to leave him. The next big thing is my pets. My dog Roxy is one of my very best friends... Seriously, it's just like she understands me or something. I think she'd be upset if I left... because you can't just tell a dog you're going away to uni. They just don't know what the ******** that is and why you would do that anyway. Rufus, my other dog, I don't think he'd notice much if I left. Then there's my horses. I will not be able to keep them and I doubt my parents will want to pay for their feed while I am away. I also feel really bad about letting them waste away in the paddock. I do not want to sell them. Kazar, the horse I learned to ride on is now 25 and retired, so I really can't sell him anyway, unless it's to the meatworks gonk or give him back to his old owner, who will just let him rot in the paddock and not look after him at all. Clancy is 17 now, and still has so much potential stressed Uugh. I guess I could lease him out or something... but I really don't like other people riding my horses. The only other option is to send him to our block up in Mitta where he would still do nothing except for every other weekend when my parents go up there.
So yeah, there it is... I can't think of any thing else to do next year except for go to uni. I don't know if there's any jobs that can get me where I want to be... I just really don't want to leave the things I love ********. I hate change. Stupid unavoidable fact of life crap stare
Give me advice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 1:08 am
|
|
|
|
EmWah Okay here's my problem: I don't know what to do next. Well, I guess that it's more of I know what I should do and I do want to do it, but at the same time I really don't want to. At the moment I have no plans for what I'm going to do next year. I am seriously thinking about moving away to go to uni, because all of the unis around here suck arse. This means I'll have to move to Melbourne and leave many things behind. Friends... I'm not too worried about, I mean, most of them will be moving anyway and I already have a few friends down there. Family is okay, my brother lives down there and I guess I'll see the rest often enough. I really really don't want to leave my boyfriend though sad We've been together for almost 3 years and I really hate the idea of a long distance relationship, and I don't want to leave him. The next big thing is my pets. My dog Roxy is one of my very best friends... Seriously, it's just like she understands me or something. I think she'd be upset if I left... because you can't just tell a dog you're going away to uni. They just don't know what the ******** that is and why you would do that anyway. Rufus, my other dog, I don't think he'd notice much if I left. Then there's my horses. I will not be able to keep them and I doubt my parents will want to pay for their feed while I am away. I also feel really bad about letting them waste away in the paddock. I do not want to sell them. Kazar, the horse I learned to ride on is now 25 and retired, so I really can't sell him anyway, unless it's to the meatworks gonk or give him back to his old owner, who will just let him rot in the paddock and not look after him at all. Clancy is 17 now, and still has so much potential stressed Uugh. I guess I could lease him out or something... but I really don't like other people riding my horses. The only other option is to send him to our block up in Mitta where he would still do nothing except for every other weekend when my parents go up there. So yeah, there it is... I can't think of any thing else to do next year except for go to uni. I don't know if there's any jobs that can get me where I want to be... I just really don't want to leave the things I love ********. I hate change. Stupid unavoidable fact of life crap stare Give me advice.
Woah, a tough one to say here. I think I'll just put myself into your position.
Friends, as you have said aren't much of an issue as a lot will be moving away and you will make new ones in melbourne. Family, you can still see your brother I guess and mabye regular visits to and from parents could help also. As for the boyfriend, that's very tough... long distance relationships are tough and lonely.. I've been through one. In your position I would either ask him to come down with, get an apartment near the uni or visit him quite regularly depending on how much you trust him.
As for the dogs, I guess you could give them to your parents to look after or a good friend if they're willing to look after them. If you give them to a friend, remember to check the house to make sure they can't escape! One mistake we made with our dog called Roxy..
The horses, I can't give you much advice about because I'm not sure what horses do in their day-to-day advice. I think you should give them to the old owner if he is the best solution because if you love them a lot and don't want them to just rot away, give them to someone who WILL feed them and someone who WILL look after them.
I'm not sure about uni, and what you can do, but if you can get down to where you live as much as possible to see your family, boyfriend, dogs and horse which will refresh them all.
Good luck, and have fun at uni! heart |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 6:03 am
|
|
|
|
I'm looking for advice... this is what I said in a PM and used to explain what was going on in a different thread...
Quote: I'm stressed like s**t, my anxiety problems are getting worse and the meds are pissing the hell out of me with all these side affects and I ******** almost killed myself again today when in one of my "trance-like" states. I don't mean to, I just come to my senses when I see my reflection and all the damn meds all in my hand. For ******** sake, taking two at once is enough to put me in a bloody comma, let alone fifty. I'm just sick of everything and I want to be left alone. I just want to get the ******** away from everything. I think I should leave gaia, just leave it. At least for a little while and see how I go. I didn't even go to any of my bloody classes today. I just went to uni and went to the library instead and avoided everyone. Hell, this is the last week of classes before all my exams and I'm not going to any of my classes. I just want to avoid everyone and be left alone. ********, I have a major exam tomorrow worth 40% for crime and justice and I haven't even started studying. I'm screwed like hell and I don't know what to do. There's something bloody ******** wrong with me and I don't know what do about it. I guess the best thing to do is to just avoid everyone and keep to myself. That's what I've always done and as of yet I'm still alive. Damn meds this doctor put me on. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be almost killing myself all the time. Sure, I could fall off a balcony which I have almost done several times in the last week, but the meds are much easier. Damn counsellor wants to see me again on friday to talk about my underlying problems which contribute to the bloody anxiety caused by the ******** stalker. I just don't want to go through any of this. I'm sick of it all and I want it to end. You may as well just post this up so people know why I'm leaving. I'm going to go, I don't know when I'll be back, or if I'll be back. Depends on whether I come through out of this or not. It all comes down as to whether if I'm still alive or not. I know that I'd prefer not to be, so I guess I may never return. Say bye to everyone for me. It's none of their fault, just mine for being so ******** up in the head.
I'm just not sure what to do. I told everything to a friend of mine from uni this afternoon over msn and she said she'd be there for me and is trying to force me into seeing the doctor about it but I just don't want to see them. I'm scared of what will happen. What will the doctor say to me? What will she do? Will she tell anyone or tell my parents? I would just talk to my counsellor in my appointment on friday (for the anxiety and stalker issues) but I quote...
Quote: Your Counsellor will maintain strict confidentiality unless you give written permission for them to do otherwise or unless you pose a significant risk to your own life or directly threaten the lives of others.
So, if I talk to my counsellor, it will not remain confidential. That is one of my main worries. I'd rather to talk to the counsellor and just work it through, but it won't be confidential. Talking to the doctor is much more scary for me. I think that it will be confidential, but for some reason it's more scary for me. I think one reason may be because I lied to her when she put me on the anxiety medication. She asked me if I'd been feeling depressed lately and I said no. I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but I didn't want her or my friend who came in with me (the same friend I spilled everything to today) to know about it. I guess I was sort of in denial at the time as well, I didn't want to accept the fact that maybe I wasn't happy. I told myself that it was just stress and anxiety getting to me and that these meds would make me better. Problem though is that if you are depressed even in the slightest, you can't go on these meds. Putting a depressed person on depressants isn't exactly a good idea... anyway, they supposably make depression worse.
I think I should start by explaining from the beginning. There is this guy whom I will address as "T". He was my friend at the beginning of the year. A little weird and strange, but he seemed nice. We had each others mobile numbers, and even exchanged CDs once. He seemed like a nice guy. The first weird thing though that I noticed was how he would just strike up a conversation with anyone. In the science common room at uni, I'd be sitting with my friends including him and he'd just get up and talk to someone, anyone. I know that doesn't seem to weird, but if you saw it you'd know what I meant. Anyway, he just started getting weird. In my easter holidays, he called me every single morning. I just ignored it until the last saturday before I went back to uni. He just wanted to talk apparently. I didn't want to, said I had to go and hung up on him. He was starting to scare me around this point in time.
I later found out that he'd been calling all my friends trying to get my address because of some "study group" we were having... there was no such study group...
When I got back to uni after the holidays, he seemed quite "clingy". He'd follow me and always try and talk to me and sit next to me whenever he could. I just ignored it. It got worse, and I think I really lost it around second week of the term after the holiday. He was even more clingy, he wouldn't leave me alone. The next week, he asked me out. It was the third friday of the term and I was sitting in a corner in the science common room between classes trying to get some study done. He sat on the table right in front of me. It was like he was trying to assert himself and make himself appear more domineering and important. He kept looking over me but I'm pretty sure he wasn't trying to look down my top. Anyway, it just made me feel really really uncomfortable. He kept moving back and forth and trying to talk to me about what was going on in the world and about sport and movies. He asked me what sort of movies I like. I tried to ignore him and get my study done before my lecture but he just didn't get the hint. He then proceeded to stand up next to me and say "You know what Mel? I think we should go on a date". I just looked at him for what seemed like ages. I was so confused. I then said "what do you mean????". He just kept going on about how we'd go and see a movie and get food and talk and stuff. It was as though he had the whole thing planned out in his head about what we'd do and when. He said we'd go out in the holidays that are coming up because then we'd have more spare time "to spend together". He said we'd go out together as a sort of relaxation together after the exams. I told him no and tried to change the subject but he just wouldn't let it go. He kept going on and on and on... I just threw all my stuff in my bag and left. He yelled out saying how he'd talk to me on the weekend and I just yelled out "bye" and ran out. All I wanted was to be sick. I was scared shitless. I ran to my lecture and hid there for the next two hours before going home. As soon as I got to where mom picks me up, I sent a message to my friend (the same one that I keep referring to) and as soon as I got home, I signed into msn to talk to her. I was just so scared about everything.
I sent him an email that afternoon explaining that I didn't want to have that sort of relationship with him and that I just want to remain friends. I seriously thought he'd understand it in plain words. I was wrong.
My friend who I told was really helpful in looking after me, but that tuesday I was alone. I had to go to my workshop which I'm in the same class and group as him for. I went straight to the library as soon as I got to uni that day and hid between rows of books. I stayed there until I was late for my workshop. I didn't care, it was what I had planned. By walking in fifteen minutes late, he would already have chosen a seat so I could chose not to sit next to him. I walked in and he kept waving his arms around and yelling out my name. I sat between two big guys in the group and ignored him the whole time. The whole workshop, he kept looking at me... just made me so uncomfortable. Every time I'd do anything, he'd look at me and it made me feel really anxious. I'd ask a question to one person regarding one of the problems we were doing, and every time, he jumped in and tried to do it instead. Not only is it rude to answer a question when you're not asked it, but he blocked out everyone else. I think he was just trying to get my attention, but I don't want that. I just want everything to go back to normal, how it was before... Oh, also when the group was doing the questions, he "dropped his pen". I don't know if it was intentional, looked like it to me... Well, he spent a longer time then I would expect someone to take to duck under a table and grab a pen... I'm just glad I was wearing jeans, but still. If he was under there just to grab a glance... I swear... In the quiz, we didn't have enough answer sheets to go around and so I ended up without one. People were already answering them off the overheads when I was getting a form and trying to fill in my details. By the time I could start, the first slide had gone and I only got to do one of the two questions. I then proceeded to do the others, but had to wait for the other one. I just sat there waiting, and by the time he put it back up, the tutor and I were the only ones in the room with this guy. I just looked at the question, gave a completely random guess, handed in my answer form and left as fast as I could. I just walked out and went straight into the library. He must have known someone was going on because I normally wait for him to see how he went, but I just really couldn't force myself to do that. I just left straight away. In my rush, I forgot to fill out my initials on my answer form. I only realised after I got out and I really didn't want to go back in there again... I had to go the the library afterwards to find books for my assignment, but really needed to get to a computer to find out where to go. I sat down at one I considered fairly hidden and started searching and seconds later he came up behind me and started talking to me. He asked what I was working on and I just said an assignment and I really need to get it done now because my mom would be here any minute to bring me home. He still tried to talk to me and so I blocked it out and continued to search whilst still keeping my eye on him. He proceeded to sit in the chair at the computer next to me. Although I couldn't see him because of the little wall thingies that go between computers and he was on a sort of diagonal from me, I could still hear him breathing. Just when I was packing up, he got up and around and it felt like he was blocking me in so I couldn't leave. I just stood up and pushed through to leave, but he tried talking to me again. Something about how much our cell and molec biol assignment was worth, the one he chose the same topic as me for. I just said "really?" and continued to the door to leave. I just kept walking and went straight to my mom's car and got in. Anyway, it was terrible. He was getting worse, the anxiety was getting worse and I just secluded myself from everyone more and more as this went on.
I started getting quite sick around this time. I was throwing up regularly, the acid build-up in my throat was getting worse and I was so scared to go to uni that I'd skip classes to just hide out in the library while he was in class. He's in three of my five classes and so he'd also be in those lectures. Whenever I turned up for them, he'd sit there and just stare at me the whole time which really made me uncomfortable.
The following day I told my other good friend what was going on. Her boyfriend later told me that he would have a "word" to him and he'd look after me really well. All I had to say was when and he'd be onto him. He promised that "T" would never bother me again. My friends are really supportive through all of this but it still bothers me.
The rest of the week was terrible. He wouldn't leave me alone. My friends were looking out for me but they could only do so much. Every time I saw him I'd run in the opposite direction (and still do) to hide in the toilet where he can't get to me.
From that week, I've had serious anxiety problems. He wouldn't leave me alone. Calling me multiple times in a day. Not only multiple times in a day, but multiple times in an hour just calling and calling. He'd sent me a threatening email that thursday telling me that I made the wrong choice. He said that "this was just the beginning" and that I should "think more carefully about my decisions". He kept going on about how much pain he was in and that it was all my fault. He kept making references to how he'd "ask you [me] again when the time came". That was one of the most scary parts of the email. When he was telling me how I'd go out with him, he also made a lot of references to time. He kept saying how "time will tell" when I rejected him. I found that really uncomfortable to hear and the more I think about it, the sicker I feel in the stomach.
These are some of the things I'd noticed him doing around this time:
-- He phones a lot, in the easter holidays he called me every day wanting to talk.
-- He follows me around campus, staying back at uni just so he can follow me and he has no classes.
-- Is always asking me where I live and work, even asking personal stuff like how much I weigh
-- When I ask him why he wants to know where I live, he said it was so he could come and visit me whenever he wants. I'm sorry, but I don't let people just turn up to my house and expect me to drop everything when they're uninvited
-- He pushes infront of my friends at uni so he can sit next to me in lectures and the whole time he just irritates me
-- He went and chose the same topic as me for the cell and molec assignment and told me I could do one half and he'd do the other. Then, we'd swap and re-word. Not only is that immoral, it would get us thrown out of uni. I can't believe he'd even suggest that. He keeps asking to see my assignment so he can copy it. If I wasn't such a nice person, I'd tell him to just ******** off and do his own assignment.
-- He's gone to get my results for exams before and collected my papers. That's a private thing, you don't go and just get someone elses results and tell them to everyone like that...
Anyway, this email screwed me up quite bad. The whole weekend (a week after he'd asked me out), I got no work done. I had an assignment due that week which I just couldn't concentrate on. I couldn't concentrate on anything because I was feeling so sick and anxious and I just never wanted to go to uni ever again.
I guess it doesn't help that the following week I had a fight with the only friend that I'd maintained from school. I'd been talking to her about this and for some reason she said it was all my fault and that I'd brought it upon myself. I just lost it around this time. I don't know what got into her but I started believing that the whole thing was my fault.
The following day, I had uni. I turned up for my first lecture early to the room where I promised to meet my friend. You see, we always meet in the science common room so I thought it'd be safe to meet at the room instead because he wouldn't be there. He was. All my friends were sitting in a circle-like mound, and he was standing over them. He started calling out my name and waving his arms around. I looked down, and kept walking forward. I knew I had to confront him at one stage. I sat behind my friend (the one who's boyfriend is looking out for me) and he kept asking me about my weekend. He then said my name and I just yelled at him to shut up. I couldn't take it anymore. My friends who didn't know just looked at me like I was PMSing or something. I then continued to talk to them and they were very cautious as to what they said... they kept looking at me funny. I just kept talking and then started hyperventilating and almost passed out and my friend who's boyfriend is looking after me pulled me over to take me to the bathroom. I washed my face and then went back to the room to sit down. I still can't believe he had the nerve to sit next to us. He kept leaning over and trying to talk to me and I just yelled at him again telling him to leave me alone and then started hyperventilating again and shaking quite badly. Another friend of mine grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me to the toilets. I was lucky that I went because there was a certain girl in there. See, he'd stalked another girl before. He did basically the same things except with me it has been much worse. I knew her by face and went up to her and spoke to her and she made me feel so much better. I just looked like s**t and couldn't control myself. I just went into class late and was a little bit of a mess. Apparently the whole time I was gone, he kept saying how depressed he was. After the lecture, the girl that was previously stalked took him away and spoke to him telling him how his behaviour wasn't on and had to stop. He started yelling at her telling her how it wasn't fair and that I was his and there was nothing she could do about it. Then he broke down into tears about how much he had a crush on me and all that crap. He missed all the following lectures.
My friends have threatened him to leave me alone. He just doesn't listen. When I got home from uni the following day, I had two new emails. They were both from him. He had one titled "whats gotten into u", as if implying that it was my problem and fault and that I'd done something wrong. Inside though, it was an apology. He kept going on about how he shouldn't have done what he had and that I should punish him... the second was just him asking me why I wouldn't talk to him.
The next day, I spent the whole day trying to get forms to defer an exam (the one I sat today) and get special consideration in an exam from the week before. I had to have either a medical certificate or a counsellors slip. I spoke to the harassment officer at the uni who went through all my options. A few of my friends came in with me for support which helped heaps. I also got an appointment made with a counsellor and booked a doctors appointment for the following morning and saw the nurse to get a slip saying that I couldn't get to the doctor until the next day which would make it all a day late.
Well, I saw the doctor that morning and spoke to her. She was really quite helpful. She spoke to me and told me how I could stand up for myself and I'd be alright. She put me on meds for anxiety and brought security up for me to talk to. I went to their office and got all their numbers and met them all just incase I needed them. Anyway, that afternoon when mom picked me up, I told her. I told her everything. She didn't believe me at first, and asked if I was doing it just to get out of doing assessment pieces. That is what hurt the most. When she finally calmed down and accepted it, she told me how she was here for me whenever she needed me and all that stuff. She didn't want me going on the meds, but she came home with them after going grocery shopping. As soon as dad came home, I had to sit down and tell him. He kept saying how I could tell them anything and that I shouldn't have kept it from them.
On that day, I also went and spoke to my tutor who had given me the extension. He even took me into a place at the uni where I could go to feel safe and stuff. He's the best tutor. However, I had one of my first near death things around that time when I was waiting for him. I was just standing there outside looking over the balcony because he wasn't there. It was two floors up and if I feel I would most definately be dead. I just kept leaning over and I almost fell. The most scary fact for me was that I was standing there and wanted to fall. Deep down I was hoping that someone would open the door and frighten me into falling onto my head and dying. That or a bird flying past or anything. Just anything to make me fall.
I took me until that sunday to take my first of the tablets and I was just so scared because of all the possible side effects. Not to mention the fact that if you're depressed you can't take them...
The depression got noticeably worse and I just wanted to hurt myself so badly. I just wanted to cut in real deep and make myself bleed to the point that I couldn't anymore. I tried to unsuccessfully due to a lack of appropriate sharp items. All I had were sewing scissors and a compass. I managed to hurt myself to the point that I was still bleeding the following day, but I didn't want that. I just wanted to be dead.
I had a counsellor appointment and she made me see some things more clearly. She told me that I take responsibility for things that are way beyond my control and then when I can't do anything about it, I guilt myself as a coping mechanism. For some reason, I've got caught up in my head that the stalker is my own fault. I keep thinking of reasons for it. I keep thinking of how I could have convinced him that his behaviour was acceptable. I keep thinking of what I'd done to deserve it. I have caught up in my head that not only is it my fault and responsibility, but I also feel immense guilt from it. Not only am I taking responsibility for what he's done to me, but also for anyone else he may prey on. Two days after he gave up on the other girl, he latched onto me. I think that if I just let him hang onto me and keep with his fantasy (which I've got in my head that I deserve anyway), that he won't move onto anyone else and no-one else will have to go through what I have. Sort of like I'm taking responsibility for any possible victims to him and I just know that if he does it to anyone else that I will blame myself. I'll see myself as responsible. I could have let him stay and harass me and then he wouldn't have done it to anyone else. It'll be my fault if he goes onto anyone else. I can cope with him... I have my meds to take when I have to...
In the following week, I had another anxiety attack. I'd already taken meds that day so I really shouldn't have had one, but it was a bad one... I thought I'd lost my assignment because of the computer saving it in the wrong folder and I started hyperventilating and shaking and squeezing my head and rocking and throwing up and crying... I just couldn't take it... I was making stupid noises and my dad was in the same room as me trying to find my assignment. He just kept yelling at me to stop it... I remember that much... I was just way out of it... Later after he found it, he made me sit down with mom in the lounge room. My parents are afraid that I'll start substance abusing and doing something that I'll regret. I know that I've been having nightmares recently about how I have been taking drugs and then being caught by police thus ruining my chances of ever getting a job...
Lately I've not only been getting problems with wanting to fall of balconies, but also with my meds. I'll just be sitting here about to take one but then I pour them all out to look at. I've almost taken every single one of them at once on several occasions both at home and at uni. I just don't know if I can deal with the stress and pressure and anxiety anymore. I'm just so scared... I'm usually really scared of heights for the reason that I'm scared of getting hurt by falling... now it's different... I'm scared of heights because I'm scared that I'm going to hurt myself not from accident but on purpose. I'm too scared to take my meds because I'm worried that I'm going to swallow them all and kill myself. I'm just unsure of what to do anymore.
I spilled everything about the depression to my closest friend at uni today. I told her how I've been feeling and what I'm scared of and how I keep almost killing myself. She's being really supportive, but there isn't a lot that she can do. She's told me that I have to talk to the doctor or the counsellor about it on my appointment on friday, but I explained that all above... I don't want to repeat it... I'm just so scared...
I'm not going well, and he's still annoying me when I see him... I haven't seen him much lately though because I keep missing classes... I haven't been to a single one this week. I've just stayed in the libary and not just avoided him, but my friends as well. I am avoiding everyone and everything... just pulling myself inwards and secluding myself. I'm not sure what's wrong with me...
I screwed up my crime and justice exam today... I was alright in there because I was so heavily doped on my meds... the lady that looked after me for the exam even asked if I was okay because I was out of it... It was after the exam that realisation took hold.
We were told from the course convenor who is also my tutor, that there were no statistics on the exam. Well, so much for that... Around 20% of the exam was asking for specific statistics. I studied all the basic crime theories etc... the exam was mainly asking for details on case studies... Then of the ones I knew, I screwed up a whole section and lost all those marks... I'm so worried that I won't pass. The student average is a fail for this exam... This was the final straw for me... I just lost it and spilled everything to my friend following this exam...
Sorry for writing so much... I just needed to get it all out... I don't expect any feedback, just typing this out has made me feel a little better...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 6:05 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 6:22 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 6:28 am
|
|
|
|
Weylok Mel, I'm very sorry for you. I just don't know what to say. All I can say, is you need to relise that it is not your problem that 'T' is stalking you. He just happens to be quite strange, and you sadly, happen to be one of his 'victims'. I don't know what to say about the meds, you need to watch how much you take, and for the depression, there is nothing you can do that is an 'instant' cure. You need to take it step-by-step and slowly recover. You should talk to someone who can help you about it, and go along with it. I'm very sorry for you Mel, you shouldn't have to be put through this. ~Weylok heart |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 6:54 am
|
|
|
|
Chemical_Kitten Weylok Mel, I'm very sorry for you. I just don't know what to say. All I can say, is you need to relise that it is not your problem that 'T' is stalking you. He just happens to be quite strange, and you sadly, happen to be one of his 'victims'. I don't know what to say about the meds, you need to watch how much you take, and for the depression, there is nothing you can do that is an 'instant' cure. You need to take it step-by-step and slowly recover. You should talk to someone who can help you about it, and go along with it. I'm very sorry for you Mel, you shouldn't have to be put through this. ~Weylok heart I know I shouldn't think it's my fault, but that's what the counsellor explained to me... it's some stupid coping mechanism I have which makes me think that it is. I'm not sure what to do about talking to people. I would rather talk to my counsellor about it, but it's just the issue of confidentiality... I don't want anyone else to know. *hugs tight* Thanks for showing that you care. I'm just trying to take it easy but there are so many things catching up... I have a quiz and workshop tomorrow covering everything I've done all semester and I haven't even opened a book. I've my research project due on monday and I only just decided on a topic. I'll never get all the work done... I just want to give up on everything.
With that last sentence Mel, please, don't ever say that again. It makes me feel sad, especially with someone as special as you sad
And you should talk to your counsellor, please. I have to go to bed now Chemmy, but please think over everything you intend on doing in the future, and what to do about all your problems. Just please dont think about the last sentence you wrote...
*Huggles*
~Weylok heart |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 7:04 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 7:21 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 12:53 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:06 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:44 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:56 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:56 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:58 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
