Lines You'll Never Hear

[Darkened Angel]

Rebel 1: I got some great news!
Rebel 2: We won the war?
Rebel 1: No, the Death Star just blew up the Liberty.
Rebel 2: I thought you had great news...
Rebel 1: I do. I just saved a bunch of money on spatial insurance by switching to Starco, oh and... <_< ... >_> ... Incidentally, I took a fat insurance policy on the Liberty just yesterday, so the Empire just made me filthy rich.

( Meanwhile, aboard the Executor )

Vader: * heavy breathing * Damn, this helmet gets stuffy!

* Fantana Girls barge in through the door *

Fantanas: You seem parched with all that breathing. Have a Fanta, it's so relieving. Wanta Fanta! Don't 'cha wanta? Wanta Fanta!
Vader: ... WTF!?
Fantanas: Don't 'cha wanta mmm-hmm?
Vader: ........................... * force chokes them all to death * Weird-a** bimbos...  

[Capn Deep Blusi]

Darkened Angel

Rebel 1: I got some great news!
Rebel 2: We won the war?
Rebel 1: No, the Death Star just blew up the Liberty.
Rebel 2: I thought you had great news...
Rebel 1: I do. I just saved a bunch of money on spatial insurance by switching to Starco, oh and... <_< ... >_> ... Incidentally, I took a fat insurance policy on the Liberty just yesterday, so the Empire just made me filthy rich.

( Meanwhile, aboard the Executor )

Vader: * heavy breathing * Damn, this helmet gets stuffy!

* Fantana Girls barge in through the door *

Fantanas: You seem parched with all that breathing. Have a Fanta, it's so relieving. Wanta Fanta! Don't 'cha wanta? Wanta Fanta!
Vader: ... WTF!?
Fantanas: Don't 'cha wanta mmm-hmm?
Vader: ........................... * force chokes them all to death * Weird-a** bimbos...

Cont.
Vader looks at the purple fanta girl.
Vader: Leia?! I KILLED MY DAUGHTER! I- ooh, "cops" is on!  

[FrozenPhoenix32]

cont.

Bad Guys Bad Guys, whacha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

*stormies rush in to arrest vader*

Hey hey, what the ******** are you doing?

Stormies: you're under arrest.

Vader: dfhsd ahsdd add

Stormies: No sparky, you know i dont speak Huttese!  

[Nospai Deathous]

FrozenPhoenix32

cont.

Bad Guys Bad Guys, whacha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

*stormies rush in to arrest vader*

Hey hey, what the ******** are you doing?

Stormies: you're under arrest.

Vader: dfhsd ahsdd add

Stormies: No sparky, you know i dont speak Huttese!

con't
stormies start feeling him down
stormie: what's this? *pulls a white bag from his back pocket*
stormie 2: looks like glitterstim to me
Vader: uh... that's not mine.  

[Kittensaurex]

*On cloud city*

C3PO: *Open's door, and is shocked* (...Stormies are suposed to be in there...) OH MY! I must inform the other's of this! *Gets blasted and dragged inside*
Han: *Stuffs 3PO in the air conditioner, and turns to Twi'lek with barely any clothes on* Can't have leia finding out about this.
Chewwy: *Walks in, and seeing Han and Twi'lek making out, quickly walkes out.* redface  

[Missing00]

Nospai Deathous

FrozenPhoenix32

cont.

Bad Guys Bad Guys, whacha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

*stormies rush in to arrest vader*

Hey hey, what the ******** are you doing?

Stormies: you're under arrest.

Vader: dfhsd ahsdd add

Stormies: No sparky, you know i dont speak Huttese!

con't
stormies start feeling him down
stormie: what's this? *pulls a white bag from his back pocket*
stormie 2: looks like glitterstim to me
Vader: uh... that's not mine.

cont.
stormie 1: Man look at this! he's loaded! this is the ten'th death stick I found on the guy.
stormie 2: your going away for a looooooonng time lord vader. awww yeeaahhh.
vader: crap!  

[Darkened Angel]

Royal Guard: Emperor, Vash the Stampede has been sighted on the Death Star.
Palpatine: WHAT!? The $$60 Billion Man is here? Oh crap!
Royal Guard: What do you mean, Emperor, he's no threat unless we attack him 1st.
Palpatine: Yeah, but all the stormtroopers will try to net that bounty by chasing after him and tearing the place apart. And I just had the floors cleaned!  

[Nospai Deathous]

((while on the subject of mixing anime in))
Ewoks are decimating the Imps at endor. A certain Purple AT-ST is pounded with a log repeatedly in the cockpit area. Finally, it breaks open, and red liquid squirts out while it collapses. Suddenly, from nowehere, a mouth appears, opens wide, and roars deafeningly. The Ewoks watch in horror as it gets back up, grabs the log, and throws it several hundred feet away with arms that it suddenly aquires. It runs at the tree it landed on, cockpit low, grabs the tree, and starts ripping it apart. Both sides stop fighting to watch. Finally, it rips off a branch and starts stabbing the tree with it. The tree breaks apart and the AT-ST starts eating it with its weird mouth-from-nowhere.

Ewoks and Stormtroopers alike watch the grotesque spectacle before realizing that it has no effect whatsoever on what they're doing, and start fighting again.

*****
((while on the subject of /Endor/ has anyone else noticed that scout troopers, speeder bikes, and AT-STs are only ever directly destroyed by trees or logs, and nothing else? my ex and i noticed it when i forced her to watch Jedi, which led to the following joke smile )

scout trooper/speeder bike crash into a tree, AT-ST toppled/exploded by logs
ewoks/rebels: TREEEEED!!!  

[Capn Deep Blusi]

Darkened Angel

Royal Guard: Emperor, Vash the Stampede has been sighted on the Death Star.
Palpatine: WHAT!? The $$60 Billion Man is here? Oh crap!
Royal Guard: What do you mean, Emperor, he's no threat unless we attack him 1st.
Palpatine: Yeah, but all the stormtroopers will try to net that bounty by chasing after him and tearing the place apart. And I just had the floors cleaned!

Cont.
*saddam hussein appears*
Saddam:Why are your floors so shiny? you yankee doodle dork of a pig!  

[Darkened Angel]

Imp Commander: Excellent, then tell the men to await my orders. Now if you'll excuse me, I must get onboard my... Huh? Where's my Star Destroyer?
Imp Officer: Uh, about that, sir... It seems you had an unpaid parking ticket when you landed in that no-parking zone on some planet called... Earth, I believe. Some police from there came and impounded it.
Imp Commander: So what am I gonna do now?
Imp Officer: Well sir, your only hope now is the DMZ.
Imp Commander: Curse that wretched planet! * sigh * Have my shuttle ready.

* several hours later *

Imp Commander: Do NOT let Earth impound any of our ships again. I had to go through HELL over there.
Imp Officer: Are you alright, sir?
Imp Commander: Update the planetary database. Put Earth on top of the list on most torturous planets.  

[Uncle Choco]

Announcer: Geico.com is so easy to use, even a moisture farmer can do it!
**CRASH!**
Luke: Not cool!
Announcer: I didn't see you there!  

[NickCpointless]

vador: i descoverd achant technolgy that may be the key to destroying the rebals
Emperor:really what is it
Vador: a very old pice of technolgy that the jadi once tried to destroy
Emperor:well lets see it
Vador:TROOPERS BRING THE DEVICE IN
*emperor looks in horror* lord vador what have you done
Vador confused
Emperor: you can not unleashe this terrable thing on the galaxy
[/IMG]  

[Capn Deep Blusi]

cont.
*later*
Emperor:Lord vader! I used the machine as a pee-pee bowl! It go boom!
Lord Vader:Charlie, charlie, charlie....you act like a stupid farm boy.
*luke bursts in*
WHAT IS UP WITH PEOPLE??!!??  

[Uncle Choco]

Admiral: My Lord?
Vader: What is it Admiral? Can't you see that I'm busy?!
Admiral: I know sir, but I think that there's something wrong with the Emperor!
Vader: ?
Admiral: He's running around the Death Star in make-up and a frilly pink dress!
Vader: You know what this means, don't you?
Admiral:Y-y-y-yes s-s-s-s-sir? *clutches at throat in fear*
Vader rummages through a file cabinet and pulls out a music cd. He presses a button on his suit and another cd called "Imperial March" pops out. He puts the new cd in and music plays.
Admiral: Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady"?!
Vader: Appropriate, is it not?
Admiral: Of course, sir.
Vader: Just shut up and dance!  

[Mademoiselle Kit]

Admiral: Sir, sir! We have just recieved word that the rebels have a new leader!

Vader: A new leader...who?

Admiral: He's reportably a space pirate who is who's cleverness is unquestionable! He can strike fear into the hearts of us all!

Vader: Yeah, sure he is...

Admiral: No really, sir! Look at this hologram of him!

*Hologram*

Captain Jack Sparrow: *Shrugs*

Vader: My god! Has he heard of a toothbrush?
************************************************

He he...couldn't resist, mate! I watched that movie last night!