[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony looked thoroughly unimpressed by Loki’s arguments against his help. He never said he could shield him all night, but he was pretty sure he could give Loki a few good hours of sleep every day at least, and that was better than nothing. He meant it. Until Loki or Frigga found a better option, he had full intentions to do that as often as possible, even if he had to tie Loki up to get him to stay put.

Frowning at Loki’s refusal of the sandwich, Tony glanced at him. “You need protein Loki.” He said slowly. “How about eat just a few pieces of grilled chicken on a salad…..or eggs or something?’ he suggested. He knew Loki’s stomach was sensitive with as often as he’d been getting sick lately, but Tony really was just trying to care for his mate. “If it feels like too much, you don’t have to eat all of it.” He added. As soon as they reached the kitchen, Tony moved from loki, getting him a glass of juice and a small bowl of assorted berries for him to pick on while Tony tried his hand at a salad, keeping the portion relatively small. If Loki was still hungry after, Tony would gladly make some more. “You know….you don’t have to block me out when you’re not asleep…..” he said softly, back to the god.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki ignored Tony's unimpressed look at his arguements, he was sure this would just be another thing they would disagree on. There had been a few things lately that they had disagreed on lately and he was sure there would be more. Speaking of things to disagree on there was the discussion of what Loki chose to eat. The god frowned when Tony argued with him on that topic. He however did consider the suggested additions. "Only if its cold." Loki accepted. Meat was heavier on his stomach and Loki warm meat was even worse but he understood Tony's concern. If it was cold it was more likely that Loki could handle it.

Walking into the kitchen area he sat down on a stool and smiled in thanks when Tony served him some juice and fruit. The god was quick to drink some of his juice sighing in happiness at the taste before he munched on some of the fruit. When Tony spoke again this time about their bond Loki looked down guiltily. "I do, Thanos can attack while I am conscious then he can get to you. I do not want that so I will keep the bond closed." Loki stated. it was about then he felt the phone in his pocket signal he had a message. Digging it from his pocket he looked at it curiously only to feel panic seize him. It was a message from Natasha giving him a countdown of how much time he had to tell Tony before she did. Loki bit down on his bottom lip as he tried to get the feelings of panic under control. "Tony... if someone with held a very important secret from you that could affect your whole life for months what would you do?" Loki questioned.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony nodded slightly at Loki’s condition for the food. There should be some chicken in the fridge. Clint had been dealing with a craving or something. Honestly, Tony was just thankful Loki would even try to eat a little meat. Finishing up a small salad with light dressing, Tony sprinkled a few sliced almonds on it as another way to get some protein in Loki and setting a few strips of grilled chicken on top so Loki could easily pick them off if needed. As he finished the salad Loki argued that he couldn’t open the bond. Tony wanted to try and convince Loki that he could handle it, but the genius decided to keep his mouth shut. They had been disagreeing too much lately.

Putting the salad in front of Loki, Tony turned to make himself a sub sandwich, Tony paused at the question presented to him. Glancing over his shoulder, Tony shrugged. “Don’t know….it would depend I suppose.” He said, turning back to his own food. “Something like that, it would depend on how much I like the person, how my life would change. If it was a good secret or a bad secret…..” he continued. “I’d definitely have to have a very long conversation with the person.” He added. Looking back to Loki, Tony frowned. “Someone in the house have a secret you found out about?”

 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki was a bit relieved when Tony agreed to his condition that the food be cold. Loki gave a nod and smile of thank when Tony placed a salad in front of him. He turned back to his thoughts at hand and the question he had asked when to y turned back to make a sub. He listened to the mans answer, it made him a bit more hopeful. Tony cared about him, and loki considered the secret a good one. But it would change Tony's life alot and there was no way around that. When asked if he had found out about someone's secret he nodded. He had found out about Natasha knowing his secret. "what do you plan on doing today?" Loki questioned trying to change the subject.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Slowly coming to sit beside Loki and eat, Tony frowned as Loki tried to change the subject. But he was used to people keeping him out of the loop in some ways. The only secrets he could keep were his own. But perhaps this was why Loki was blocking him out. He didn’t want Tony getting a whiff of something he shouldn’t. Shaking his head, Tony shrugged. “My only real plan was to get you taken care off. Now you’ve managed to get a few hours of sleep and a little bit of food…hopefully you’re feeling a little better now?”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked up as Tony moved to sit beside him. For a moment there was a panic in his mind that Tony would question him more throughly on the secrets he held. While he hadn't lied yet, he hadn't spoken the truth. If Tony asked him directly Loki was sure he would not be able to avoid the man this time. Luckily it seemed all his worries were for not when the man answered his question. "I do indeed feel quite a bit better thank you. But I meant what had you intended to do in you lab today. You have been quite busy in there recently." Loki explained his question.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony shrugged slightly. “No idea….I’ve been working on the magic scanner for the past few weeks….but honestly, I’m not skilled enough to do too much else to it…..you and Bruce are the only ones that can even begin to figure it all out….” He said slowly, picking at his sandwich. “I was trying to figure out how to help you…..but I can’t……that shield earlier is all I’ve managed to figure out…..” he said softly. He hated knowing that for all of his proclaimed abilities, he was useless to his mate now when he needed him.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked up surprised when Tony said that he had been working on the magic scanner for the past few weeks. He hadn't know the man had been working on the scanner and vaguely thought about the jammer. "The jammer might help, I removed the additional bindings a while ago. Perhaps if we infuse it a bit more it could block Thanos." Loki suggested softly. He wasn't sure it would work considering the thing was attuned to his magic and he didn't know if Thanos was using his magic or the elder god's own. "Perhaps after I do a bit of research on my own I can come down to the lab and take a look." he continued.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony shook his head. “Last time you used that thing, you died.” He said slowly. He wasn’t sure he wanted anyone messing with that thing. “If I could only figure out how to use my magic better……I’m sure I could come up with something to help you….” He said seriously, rubbing his temple as his frustration returned full force. “I just wish Thanos was here. I could shoot at him then, I know how to handle something right in front of me. I can’t even handle what goes on in my own head.” He grumbled.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

"I nearly died because I changed it when I should not have. I have taken that magic back now, it will not do that again." Loki protested. He deflated when Tony continued to say that if he could figure out his magic better he thought he could come up with something. "Your magic is not for this sort of thing. I was impressed by what you did earlier, but your strength lies in your crafts." Loki said softly laying a hand gently on Tony's arm. He understood Tony's frustration about an enemy he couldn't confront immediately and in front of him. "It is hard," he agreed.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

“And my crafts are useless.” Tony responded, fingers pushing through his hair in frustration. “I have to figure out how to help you…..so much of what I’ve done recently is to protect you, to keep you safe, and none of it is any use.” He said, looking to Loki, not bothering to hide how deeply this failure disturbed him. I can’t even keep you safe in my own home. Reaching out and cupping Loki’s cheek, Tony searched his eyes. “I need to help you….I’m supposed to help you. But I can’t……and I can’t stand seeing you hurting so much.” He mumbled. Even if Loki was the immortal, magical god, Tony had always seen himself as Loki’s protector, always tried to fill that role for him, but now he was useless. It tore him up inside.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki felt guilty about the frustration Tony felt knowing some of it if not most of it was caused by Loki's ommisions of the truth. That and his allowing of Tony to believe that Thanos was the cause to all his recent issues. He knew his mate wanted to protect him and that the fact that he couldn't was driving him wild. Loki hoped his mother would come up with something soon to alleviate the pressure that Thanos was causing to his situation. Looking up as a hand cupped his cheek he met Tony's eyes. "I'm not hurting, he is not hurting me Tony as much as he is scaring me." Loki stated softly. He didn't like to admit it, but he was scared of Thanos and the god was playing on every other fear Loki had when he caught him asleep.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony sighed. “You can hurt the mind as easily as the body.” He said softly. “He’s scaring you, torturing you in your sleep, and it’s carrying over to physical problems…..that qualifies as hurting you Lo.” He continued. Rubbing Loki’s back gently, he looked the god over. The god looked exhausted, even with the nap earlier, and he’d lost weight, the angles of Loki’s form even sharper than before. “I love you Lo. I love you so much…..and I can’t stand seeing you like this. I’m supposed to be able to help you. It’s my job.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked guilty again when Tony reminded him that the mind could be hurt as easily as the body and that Thanos was hurting him. He had hoped that Tony wouldn't have pointed that out, if he could have convinced the man that he wasn’t being hurt then maybe the man wouldn't worry so much. However that seemed impossible with tony so sharp, Loki didn't know why he thought he might have gotten that past the genius. He blamed it on his exhaustion even with his nap earlier. All the lack of sleep muddled his brain a bit. The first couple days Thanos had attacked him he been able to defend a bit, but the longer it had stretched on the less he could defend himself. "we'll figure out something.” Loki tried. He hoped they would too, if Tony still wanted him by the end of the day. That thought almost brought him to tears. What would he do on his own with the way Thanos was right now.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony picked up on Loki’s unease and let out a heavy sigh. He was just making this all worse wasn’t he? Scooting his chair as close as he could manage, Tony wrapped an arm around Loki, resting his head on Loki’s shoulder in an effort to comfort him. It was so much easier with the bond open, he could reach in and quell all of Loki’s fears with a thought. Now Loki was trapping himself in his own head alone. “Yes we will….we always do….you just know I’m annoyingly impatient.” He said, trying to joke a little. “I shouldn’t be complaining to you. You’re the one that’s hurting. I’m sorry.” He said softly after a moment.