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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:04 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:06 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:36 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:42 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:12 am
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The usual. I spent my free time worrying. All I do is worry that something will happen with my friends back in the states and I'll be helpless and unable to comfort them. It sucks, because I'm really protective of my friends. They mean more to me than anyone (considering they were my first real friends, all the others were like business deals, I hate living on military bases) and if anyone were to hurt them... UGH! I'd just end up crying in a closet or something... I hate being helpless. It goes completely against my personality. I also hate change, which is why I hate moving, and why I hate leaving them, and why I hate resettling down. I was the mediator, the one who settled the drama. That makes my worrying worse because when I left, my group of friends sort of split, and two of my best friends from when I first moved there spilt and now hate eachothers guts. So I have to blame myself for letting myself become so installed within a group of people. They didn't deserve to have me ******** up their feelings and social life. But how could I have helped it? I didn't want to be a loner again, and I thought that my dad was retiring in Maine. So I eventually openned up to a couple of people, and then I met another group of people, and they sort of melded with my original group, and it was fantastic. Seriously, they are the most amazing people.
Thankfully, I'm pretty much over the whole thing with one of my new friends here being pissed at me and another friend and ignoring us. It's nice with it just being Jess and I.
But I hate the worrying. Plus, as of late, I've been thinking a lot about one of my best friends in the states in a way that's not very platonic... >_> And she's bi, but she has a boyfriend. And I'll be living with her this summer. I think it'll be euphoric to see her (and ALL of them again), but I really hope I don't get even more attracted to her when I get to see her in person again.
Also, the other day I was talking to a really open (if you know what I mean...) bisexual girl about what a GSA was (she's lived in Italy all of her life, I'm telling you, military kids, who live off the Mainland of the US are sheltered as hell) and she just went: "Wait, Shelby, You're bi?!" I had to freeze for a second, and make a decision on my responce. I decided not to tell her the truth, and I just said, "Oh, no, of course not". I'm too worried to come out at an overseas military school. One of the people who work more my dad would find out, and mention it to him, and I'm still not sure how the hell he's going to react. I have a feeling that the overly friendly bi girl would have spread word immediately. She'd try to drag me into her like popular group. Not that I have anything against them, the girls are just all so giggly, which isn't bad, but I'm too loyal a friend to abandon Jess, ecspecially when it's only me and her.
Edit : Wow, that was longer than I planned. xd Sorry...
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:20 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:14 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:18 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:52 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:53 pm
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woahchelseaa I woke up late. Got to school at 7:30. Noticed how hot my exgirlfriend looked today at school. I forgot to make brownies for people at school. AND I just realized I spent this entire week masturbation-free. Which makes me pissed off. I could have been masturbating right now! scream oh my ._.
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:56 pm
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Higgums woahchelseaa I woke up late. Got to school at 7:30. Noticed how hot my exgirlfriend looked today at school. I forgot to make brownies for people at school. AND I just realized I spent this entire week masturbation-free. Which makes me pissed off. I could have been masturbating right now! scream oh my ._. biggrin
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:57 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:01 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 10:32 pm
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